Tag Archive for: online dating

Savage Love & Hookup Hangup

The rules of dating have changed! But you know that. We’ve been shouting it from the rooftop for 10 years now.

While many of our parents and grandparents adhered to strict gender roles, monogamy and a typical relationship timeline (first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage), WE are building relationships that suit our lifestyles.

For example, non-monogamy is on the rise! Since last year, there has been a 42% increase in mentions of “ENM” or “ethical non-monogamy” on OkCupid profiles. There has also been an increase in the number of married couples who “Live Apart Together” – folks in committed relationships who live in separate homes. And according to the Census Bureau, the percentage of people in these LAT relationships increased by more than 25 percent between 2000 and 2019.

Based on our inbox, y’all have a lot of questions about how to make your relationship dream a reality (even if it includes a non-traditional arrangement). So we brought in the big dog today – THE Dan Savage is here with us. He’s the host of the Savage Lovecast and the long-running column, Savage Love. Dan will be talking about writing the rules of your own relationship and answering your love questions in a special Dear Damona segment!

DATING DISH (2:56)

If you clap when planes land, your partner might break up with you:

Hold onto your “icks” ladies and gentlemen, we’re about to dive into dating dealbreakers. A study commissioned by the dating site Seeking discovered that out of 2,000 adults, over half (65%) have ended a relationship because of an ick. What is an ick, you ask? It is a specific and possibly non conventional trait that turns someone off (i.e. “they gave me the ick”).

Damona goes over the most prominent icks from the survey – including bad body odor, clapping when your plane lands, and being obsessed with astrology (LOL since Dates & Mates just did a whole episode about astrology). Do you have an ick? 👀 

DAN SAVAGE (13:06)

Dan Savage is an American author, media pundit, journalist, and LGBT community activist.

He is the author of “Savage Love,” a sex-advice column, which first appeared in The Stranger, Seattle’s alternative weekly, in 1991. The column is now syndicated across the United States and Canada. 

Dan is also the host of the podcast The Savage Lovecast, where he answers your sex questions and talks politics, and the author of multiple books including his most recent one, “Savage Love from A to Z: Advice on Sex and Relationships, Dating and Mating, Exes and Extras.”

(15:54) Dating dinosaurs.

Damona and Dan have many things in common, but the biggest is that they’re both veterans of the professional dating scene for 15+ years. Damona asks Dan what he’s seen as the biggest changes in dating and relationships during his career. Surprisingly, Dan responds that the question – “am I normal?” – is a thing of the past.

(22:21) The non-monogamous spectrum.

Damona brings up an interview that Dan did on the Death, Sex and Money Podcast with Anna Sale, in which Dan brought up the difference between non-monogamy and cheating.

Dan states that monogamy is a spectrum, and that you CAN in fact be cheated on in a non-monogamous relationship (just as you would a monogamous one). He also shares the kinds of feelings you may be having if you’re non-monogamous at heart (and how to have the “I’m non-monogamous” conversation).

Be sure to follow Dan on Instagram @DanSavage and to check out his book “Savage Love from A to Z: Advice on Sex and Relationships, Dating and Mating, Exes and Extras.” You can find his podcast, Savage Lovecast, wherever you listen to Dates & Mates.

 

DEAR DAMONA (33:10)

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Voice Message from B – I put so much pressure on myself to find a guy that meets my standards, I think I am hindering myself from finding my match. What should I do?
  • IG Message from R – I find myself getting lost in flings while I search for my forever partner. How do I balance this dissonance?

 

ANNOUNCEMENT!

Damona is running her signature dating coaching group LIVE one last time starting the week of January 23rd. If you want to find love in 2023, this is your moment! Want to learn more? Check out the free intro class on Wednesday January 18th at 4pm PT/ 7pm ET. You can sign up for that at DamonaHoffman.com/freeclass

Love Astrology & Main Character Energy

It’s week two of 2023 and Peak Dating Season is going strong! Plus Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, so it’s not surprising to hear that many of you are looking for love in the new year. 

Luckily there are more tools than ever to help you in your search. You can create a vision board to roadmap what you want in love and life (as Damona covered in the last episode of 2022). You can refresh your dating profile regularly to boost you in the search algorithms. You can even let your friends know that you are looking for a date and ask for support in your search.

But – did you know that you can look to the stars for more information on your dating future? (Say what?! It’s true.) Astrology can be a powerful tool in predicting the compatibility and timing for when your stars will align to find love…

Today we have one of Damona’s dear friends and mentors joining Dates & Mates, Vedic astrologer and relationship coach Carol Allen. She’s going to help us understand the stars of 2023 and compatibility as it relates to someone else’s astrological imprint.

DATING DISH (2:38)

The biggest dating trends of 2023 (according to dating app experts):

Women’s Health recently published a full deep dive into the dating trends of 2023. And according to dating app experts, this year will be all about *main character energy* as people become more certain about their deal breakers and self worth. Not only that, the article mentions shifts in dating culture such as leaning into vulnerability (Damona talks about this in her episode with one of the hottest multi-platform content creators, Chris Thompson), open conversations about non-monogamy, and budget conscious dates (Damona goes over money-friendly date ideas with financial author Nicole Lapin.)

Damona dives deeper into each oncoming trend and shares some hard-hitting stats.

CAROL ALLEN (10:35)

Carol Allen is a Vedic astrologer, a relationship coach and Damona’s mentor. She is the author of “Love Is In The Stars – The Wise Woman’s Astrological Guide To Men.” Carol has been featured on E!, Bridezillas, EXTRA, Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers and in Chicken Soup For The Soul, Woman’s World, and Daily Candy.

(If your a fan of Dr. Drew’s, like Damona, listen to his Dates & Mates episode titled “Dr. Drew & The Big 400” here.)

 

(11:53) Is Vedic astrology just like any astrology?

When many of us think of astrology, our minds immediately go to those Cosmopolitan, back-of-the-magazine type of readings. But Vedic astrology, which Carol studies (originating in ancient India) follows a different criteria. Before all the compatibility details, Carol suggests first looking at the capacity of your partner – i.e. do you have the capacity for being in a relationship in the first place? How conscientious are you? How supportive are you? How present are you? How empathetic are you?

Carol dives further into defining low capacity people, and how timing plays another huge part in compatibility.

(23:01) Lunar eclipses influence marriage??

Carol touches upon the marriages of Drew Barrymore, Jen & Brad (Aniston and Pitt, of course) and shares how the stars determined the fates of their marriages (hint: both happened around a lunar eclipse). Plus, Carol gives an IN DEPTH reading of Damona’s wedding day, and how her and Seth were astrologically set up for success.

(31:48) Your calendar affects the outcome.

We all like to look to astrology for things like compatibility, life purpose, and personal information. But we forget how the stars can sway things like the success of a job interview, asking someone out, the best time to buy a house, when to have an important conversation – you name it. Carol explains how she maps things out for her clients using her special model of calendar, the Personal Success Calendar..

 

Be sure to follow on Instagram @CarolAllenAstrologer AND for a limited time you can get your Personal Success Calendar at a huge discount at damonahoffman.com/mycalendar.

 

DEAR DAMONA (36:36)

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

Email from C – I am 62 and he is 71. 3 months together and lots of kissing, chemistry and common interests. Yet, he has made no moves toward intimacy. Should I say something? Try to seduce? Or just wait it out?

ANNOUNCEMENT!

Damona is running her signature dating coaching group LIVE one last time starting the week of January 23rd. If you want to find love in 2023, this is your moment! Hear new success stories and see how the program can change your love life too at TheDatingSecret.com

Dear Damona: New Year, New Boo & Dating Sunday Too

Welcome back to Dates & Mates AND welcome to 2023!!!

The new year signifies change and rebirth for many of us. It’s a time of reflection and growth, a time when so many people are looking towards the future. And this energy is almost palpable in the number of emails, texts, voice memos and voicemails that we’ve accrued this season.

This is the season for love. Dating Sunday is upon us and this year it falls on Sunday, Jan 8th. (If you need a refresher, Dating Sunday is the time when dating apps see the biggest spike in new members & user activity.)

So we’ve decided to dedicate the first episode of 2023 ENTIRELY to your questions – it’s an all-Dear Damona episode!

ALL-DEAR DAMONA (1:46)

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on the show! Here’s what listeners asked about this week:

(1:46) Email from D – I am a 28-year old woman who recently moved to a new city one year ago. Recently, I have been having terrible issues with guys not following through on plans. There’s the old rule – “if a guy is interested, he’ll let you know, you won’t have to guess.” I rarely text guys first and if they don’t follow up, I don’t either. Is this a smart approach?

(9:05) IG Message from Tamara – Hi Damona! I love your podcast. I met this guy on a dating app and we connected right away. He asked me on a first date, but then told me how to dress for the date including how to wear my hair and what lipstick to wear. This is a turnoff to me. I am not a Barbie doll and I think I can plan my own outfits. Is this a red flag?

(12:08) IG Message from J – I currently live in Denver, but I’m moving to Seattle at the end of this month. Is it okay to start matching and connecting with people on Hinge before I arrive as long as I’m honest about not being there yet? And how to keep a connection alive and not disappoint people that I’m still in the process of moving there?

(17:12) Voice Memo from Princess – I just turned 21 and I’m on several introductory dating apps. I’m wanting a meaningful long term relationship and I am only looking for matches who want the same. But  I’m finding that some of these guys who say they want a relationship or either back off from that, or say they’re just checking it out. Of course, it’s fine to not know what you want. But I think they should say that. Am I being too hard on them? Or are these men emotionally catfishing me?

**Check out the question above for a refresher on Damona’s 4 Components of Long-Term Compatibility.

(23:56) Text from Anon – Should I list that I have a child on my dating profile? What are the pros and cons of doing so or not doing so?

(27:02) Email from A – I’m in my mid-thirties and was diagnosed with some health issues in my late twenties-early thirties. I am in decent shape and one wouldn’t know by looking at me that I’m dealing with any health issues. I’m actively dating and am starting to notice that average dating questions around lifestyle choices (exercising, diet etc.) trigger me. Is there a way for me to politely or playfully decline or pivot from answering these questions until I am comfortable sharing?

 

ANNOUNCEMENT!

Damona is running her signature dating coaching group LIVE one last time starting the week of January 23rd. If you want to find love in 2023, this is your moment! Hear new success stories and see how the program can change your love life too at TheDatingSecret.com



Minisode: How to Make a Vision Board

Happy almost new year!!! Around this time, we start to get a bunch of new questions and Dates & Mates listeners. As we all reflect on starting the new year off fresh, finding a partner to do life with often becomes a top priority for people. And we want to support you in that process.

That is why Damona’s Dating Accelerator Program always begins with clarifying your mindset. (I know, easy to say but harder to do.) There are various tools you can use: visualization, journaling, writing narratives, creating ideal scenes… AND designing vision boards.

In today’s minisode, Damona will talk you through how to design a vision board. It’s okay if you’ve never made one (and okay if you’ve never heard of one). Basically, vision boards creatively act as a roadmap for your life. And most times, putting elements together on a board is a really powerful tool to manifest what you want.

DESIGNING YOUR VISION BOARD

Everyone has something hard wired called “confirmation bias” – AKA the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one’s existing beliefs or theories.

Your confirmation bias can be your downfall if you let it add up to a negative hypothesis. But what happens if you foresee a positive outcome? That is what a Vision Board trains your brain to do.

So let’s get started!

You’ll need a piece of poster board, scissors, glue and a stack of magazines.

  1. Take a moment to get centered and visualize the relationship you want. How will you feel when you are with this person? Where will you go on your dates? Do you see pets, kids, a home, shared activities? What does this life look like together?
  2. Scan for images. Flip through your magazines or images on the internet and see which images jump out at you. (If you do this step after a visualization, your brain is primed to pick up the most significant markers.)
  3. Seek out words or phrases. Especially ones that affirm your vision. If nothing catches your eye, you can always write in significant words and phrases with markers.
  4. Assemble! You can either paste your elements as you go, or create more of a narrative before you start gluing. 

Still unsure of where to start? Listen to the end of the minisode (13:30) where Damona answers the most common vision board FAQs…

 

P.S. Don’t forget that Early Bird Enrollment is now open for the next round of my signature program: The Dating Accelerator!

Get $300 off now through Dec. 31st with the code EARLYBIRD

See testimonial videos, understand how my system changes lives and get on the road to a healthy relationship in the new year at TheDatingSecret.com

Relationship Science & Dating Cancellations

Y’all know that we LOVE statistics and science here at Dates & Mates, so why not squeeze in some more data before the end of the year?

Today Damona is dishing with award-winning international dating and relationship expert (and the same person who gave Damona her certification in coaching!!) – Hunt Ethridge. He’ll be breaking down some new science in the relationship and dating space, so you can hack the dating game once and for all.

DATING DISH (1:50)

Canceling plans because you’re not feeling body confident? Let’s talk about it.

A new survey from a company called Wild Dose (who make products for belly & gut health) revealed that men are more likely than women to back out of a date when they aren’t feeling body confident. 

More specifically, the research showed that 25% of men will avoid sex when feeling self conscious, compared to 22% of women. And 1 in 10 men admitted they’ve canceled on a date last minute when not feeling body confident due to stomach issues such as bloating.

Damona makes two arguments based on this data. Firstly, that we should all be trusting our gut a lot more when it comes to dating. (Yeah, butterflies are a thing. But maybe what you’re feeling has to do more with intuition than nerves.) And secondly, that we all need to practice being more respectful of our date’s time when canceling plans. Damona also shares her sure-fire formula to avoid being canceled on.

HUNT ETHRIDGE (11:30)

Hunt Ethridge is an award-winning international dating and relationship expert with over 15 years experience.

Hunt is the co-founder of The Matchmaking Business Academy, which will educate and mentor matchmakers and dating coaches at all levels of their career. He has also been featured in CNN, The New York Times, Playboy and GQ.

(12:08) Where we are now…

There have been several milestone shifts with dating culture in the last 15 years. But most all of them fall under how we communicate – Tinder and swipe app technology increased the speed of communication, and texting became the primary mode of communication in dating. So how can we continue to use these tools as a means of connection, rather than letting them become obstacles to connection? Hunt gives his hot take.

(19:30) Authenticity pays off!

We talk about authenticity a lot on Dates & Mates and learning to show up as your authentic self. But Hunt clarifies. He says that it’s about being your *best* authentic self. “Sometimes people think oversharing or being unedited is authenticity, and that’s not necessarily what it means… I could sit here with greasy hair and a ripped t-shirt and that would be authentic because I look like that sometimes. But it’s not going to be the authentic that will work the best for you in a dating situation.”

So can we redefine what it means to be authentic? Hunt shares his thoughts…

(26:38) The science of self-disclosure

Hunt dives into a study he read recently about the science of over-sharing, which some may see as self-disclosure or being vulnerable. According to the research, your date’s response to self-disclosure works out more favorably and creates more connection when the other party values openness and vulnerability themselves.

Hunt also explains the ways in which we are wired to mirror each other (and the varied ways that mirroring shows up).

(36:04) What if Stranger Danger was wrong?

Another study? Heck yes! Hunt shares some research he found that describes how positive interactions with strangers, however minor, predict a greater subjective well being. “It boils down to if I smile at you, you’re gonna smile back. And if I see your smile, hopefully it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. And so I kind of created a feedback loop.”

Plus, Damona and Hunt dive deeper into this concept of “reciprocal altruism”.

(36:04) What does it take to date offline?

Online dating has its obstacles, no doubt. And I know many of us are itching to ditch the apps altogether and solely date offline. But keep in mind – dating offline will require us to do more of the work to see results.

A tip from Hunt to ease your transition into offline dating… Instead of asking each other logical questions like “how was your day,” try asking more emotional questions that will access their more positive emotions. What was your favorite thing about this weekend? What was the best thing about where you grew up? When was the last time you had a win at work? What was the best prank you saw in college? 

 

Be sure to follow Hunt on Instagram @QuestforAdvice and check out HuntforAdvice.com for more information.

 

 

DEAR DAMONA (52:55)

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

 

  • IG Message from Emily – Dear Damona, I was wondering if you could provide me with some insight. I have it stated on my dating profile that I am looking for something more serious. I’ll match with someone, they say they are looking for something more serious as well, but then by the third or fourth date they say that I am further along in wanting a commitment and they aren’t quite ready for a relationship and want to keep things casual. And when that happens, I end it. This has happened to me four times now. What are some signs I can look out for to avoid this happening again and is there anything I can do to find someone more serious about wanting a relationship?

3 Day Rule & Relationship Readiness

We have a bone to pick with y’all… Okay it’s not that deep, and we aren’t here to scold you. But we need to talk about dating pet peeves. What really grinds your gears on dates? 

For our guest today, it was when her date showed up in the wrong pants. Devyn Simone is a renowned matchmaker at Three Day Rule, one of the largest matchmaking companies in the country. She’s here to tell us what really matters in making a love match.

 

DATING DISH (1:58)

(1:58) What’s cookin’, good lookin’?: In a week that’s ALL about food, we thought we’d cover the 10 foods that have been known to boost your sex drive. Now, are these foods scientifically proven to improve our sex drive? No. But many people have sworn that the foods on this list help them to feel *sexy* and increase their libido. Here’s some you want to know about:

  • Avocados – This is fitting, as avocado trees have been called “testicle trees” in the past. Avocados are also rich in vitamin B6, which can help ease the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (and who wants to have sex when they’re cramping up?).
  • Oysters – Oysters contain zinc, which is linked to regulating testosterone levels in men and improving sperm production. And if you aren’t feeling the oysters, crab, lobster, and red meat also have higher levels of zinc.
  • Pistachios – A small study in 2011 found that men with erectile dysfunction who ate pistachios regularly for three weeks, saw an improvement in their erectile dysfunction. The same study also found that the men’s lipids were better regulated, which helps improve heart health (and you can guess how this plays out in the bedroom).
  • Pomegranate – Fun fact: in ancient times, the pomegranate was known as a symbol of fertility. This may be because pomegranate can help protect against type 2 diabetes and heart disease, including hypertension. It can also reduce the formation of plaque in your arteries.
  • Asparagus – This vegetable is high in vitamin B6, which can help relieve premenstrual syndrome symptoms and thus help women feel more in the mood for sex. Asparagus is also good for heart health – it contains vitamin K, which can help protect against type 2 diabetes (and one of the complications from diabetes is often erectile dysfunction).

 

(5:30) “I’m more in love with what I’m doing than people”: In an interview with Harper’s Bazaar, rapper and internet darling Lil Nas X spilled his thoughts on what he thinks it takes to commit to a relationship. While commenting on ending his relationship with dancer Yai Ariza, he shared that “being in a relationship is a responsibility. I’ve been wanting somebody for so long and wanting somebody to love for so long, but it’s a real responsibility.” He then added, “I’m more in love with what I’m doing than people.” Now, we’re all for being committed to your work or loving your freedom. But to be in love is to accept all that comes with making room for that person in your life. And if you find yourself not ready to take those steps to build a connection with someone else, that’s okay! You are allowed to take your time, enjoy your autonomy, and figure out who you are first.

 

If you’re ready to take those next steps to build a connection, you’re gonna need a dazzling dating profile to match. You can download Damona’s Free Profile Starter Kit HERE, which includes prompts to help you write a winning profile & a short tutorial video on how to choose the best dating profile photos. 💬

 

DEVYN SIMONE (8:03)

We’re here with Devyn Simone, top matchmaker at Three Day Rule. When she’s not dishing out dating advice on the Wendy Williams Show or coaching on The Real Housewives of New York City, she’s searching her exclusive database for successful love matches.

And now, she’s here to school us on what qualities she looks for in successful matches.

(9:25) Matchmaking is our best-kept secret: “Damona, why would I ever need a matchmaker?” As we continue to reevaluate how we traditionally meet people, Devyn states that people are starting to think outside the box. So consider this – having someone in your corner who has a really large network, and vast experience at getting to know people and connecting with people, is priceless. A matchmaker is also great at anticipating your own dating “blind spots” – even if you are screening your dates yourself, sometimes you might find yourself falling into the same pattern of picking the same kinds of people, even subconsciously.

(17:30) What do you hear a lot as a matchmaker?: The initial process in the client-matchmaker collaboration is getting clear on your patterns, so you don’t keep “repeating the third grade” (Devyn’s shorthand for dating different versions of people you’ve dated in the past). Once you’re both clear on your patterns, Devyn says she then moves on to getting clear about the direction you want to move in.

So with every new client, Devyn asks them for their three must-haves and three deal breakers in a partner – only three. No one’s gonna have everything on your list, so being clear about what’s most important to you will set you up for success. Eventually, Devyn expands the client’s list to include preferences, AKA qualities that are not necessary but you would enjoy if your partner had them.

(23:33) Matching men vs matching women: In her experience, Devyn admits that matching women can be more complex than men because typically, a woman’s desires are more complex. Devyn continues that generally, men ask themselves four things when they are looking for a female partner: am I attracted to her, do I have fun with her, do I respect her, and do we want the same things? And in terms of qualities, the main question they ask is: is she happy on her own? On the other hand, women at their core want to feel safe, special, and sexy – yet always leave room to ask, “but how tall is he?” So Devyn believes it can take a more significant amount of self awareness when working with a matchmaker, particularly on the woman’s part.

(26:30) Your friends are keeping you single: While we all have that list of must-haves we are looking for in a partner, Devyn points out that we can sometimes get hung up on what our friends might say about our date.Devyn gives an example from the show Insecure – the character Molly shows her friend Issa a picture of this guy she’s going on a date with (he’s on the older side). Molly thinks he’s cute, but when she shows Issa a picture, Issa immediately judges this guy’s age. In the end, this had an effect on Molly’s perception of this guy and possibly squashed any potential that was there. 

Even when friends mean well, reactions like this can affect our ability to really connect (or discover a lack of connection) with the other person on our own terms. So before you judge your dates, Devyn poses the question: are you trying to please everyone else, or are you being authentic to yourself and your matchmaker?

Dates & Mates is officially collaborating with Three Day Rule! Get in touch with Devyn and all the matchmakers at Three Day Rule by going to https://www.threedayrule.com/damonahoffman.

 

DEAR DAMONA FT. DEVYN SIMONE (34:23)

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • IG Message from Anon – Hello Damona. So recently a guy I was seeing did not contact me for a whole day, and I found out he has been emotionally connected to another woman. I finally walked away because I felt I deserved better. Is this okay or should I send him a text as to why I ended? Everyone says I deserve better and they believed he would be back, and sure enough he called and sent a simple text saying “yo.” What would you advise?
  • IG Message from GG – Damona, please help! I have a pet peeve – I’m going on a first date tonight, and if my man shows up in sneakers I will fall to the floor. I can’t stand men showing up in sneakers on the first date. I don’t know what to do. Tonight I’m going on this date, and I know I’m not going to say anything to him. We just show up and hope for the best.

The Phases of Dating During COVID

SAFE ONLINE DATING IN PANDEMIC TIMES

Since I began my practice, there have been only two major disruptors to the online dating process that have required me to modify my approach: Tinder and COVID. 

Online dating was always one of my favorite mediums for singles to meet but Tinder and the apps that followed made online dating accessible to all and forever impacted the dating landscape. 

COVID has changed everything about how to date online, use the apps, and filter for matches. Today, the number one question I hear is: “How does dating during COVID work?” Luckily for daters, the stages of dating have stayed the same, but the way we navigate them could be a little different.

These are the phases of online dating today:

Phase 1: Online Matching and Introduction

The speed of swiping is still just as quick as before but I find that daters are slower to move on to in-person dating in the pandemic as they take time to assess someone’s dating risk.

Phase 2: Texting/Messaging

This stage, which used to drag on for weeks or months, is truncated now because a call or video date is less risky than a traditional date. Before, people had to weigh the value proposition of an in-person date based on the investment of time and money. Now that those factors are removed, there is less pressure on this decision and singles are speeding through this part of the process.

Phase 3: The Phone Call

I have been a long-time advocate of the phone call prior to the first date. It is impossible to tell compatibility over text, yet before now, many people were skipping the phone call in favor of speed and efficiency. Now phone calls have once again become an accepted phase in the dating process as a lead up to a video chat or social distance date. 

For my clients who are nervous about giving out their phone number, I recommend downloading the TextNow App which gives you a free alternative number that will ring to your primary phone. That way if you ever change your mind about a match, you can change your number safely and easily and keep it moving.

Phase 4: Social Distance Date

Once you have talked on the phone or video chatted, you will need to meet up in person to see if the connection is real within a month or less. Most catfish situations come up when the daters have never connected off the app so I encourage clients to move offline as soon as it feels safe and comfortable.

For months, singles have waited for things to return to normal. So if you ever wondered how to date online in the middle of a world-wide pandemic AND election year, my answer is: it’s a lot like the old model of online dating with more precaution.

Now, more than ever, those who are uncoupled have felt the weight of their decision to stay single or the frustration of being unable to find a suitable partner. However, we are in the new normal and dating will not return to the old model anytime in the foreseeable future.

The positive side of this shift is that it has slowed down the filtering phase. What had become a rapid-fire round of swiping directly to a date and the inevitable ghosting that followed has been replaced by more mindful conversations and meaningful phone calls and video chats.

Ultimately, you have to create your own safety plan for dating in the time of Coronavirus but if you move offline quickly, I recommend downloading the TextNow App to communicate safely then meet up in a COVID-safe environment, you can still find love in today’s world.

 

This blog is sponsored by TextNow. The app solves many major challenges that my clients face in dating today:

  • You can keep your main number private
  • You can separate your personal and dating contacts
  • Plus, It’s easy to use and FREE.

I’m proud to collaborate with an app that empowers modern daters to feel safe and secure. Click here!

Master Class: First Dates

SUMMER LOVE

Lovers, it’s the first official week of summer! Welcome to the first official episode of the Dates & Mates Summer Love Series.

The topic this week? First Dates.

First dates are the foundation of every great relationship. The tone and the rules you set at the beginning will follow you into the relationship or squash the potential for one to develop. In this master class, Damona tells you how to plan the perfect first date. Here’s the rundown:

Why are first dates so important? (1:30)

Should I google my date before I go? (2:00)

The Phone Call (4:00)

What should wear on a first date? (8:00)

What’s a good thing to do on a first date? (13:00)

How long should a first date be? (16:00)

7 Date Ideas BETTER THAN A DINNER DATE (21:00)

STILL HAVE QUESTIONS?

Get Damona’s First Date Starter Kit. You get advice on:

  • The one thing you should ALWAYS always ALWAYS  do before a first date.
  • How to ensure a second date if you like the person you’re on a first date with
  • And conversation tips to make sure it never falls flat or feels boring – crucial first date advice
  • It also has an audio program that shows you 7 different ways to make a match and how to maximize their effectiveness
  • This is perfect for anyone who feels like they’re burnt out on dating apps and need new ways to meet people
  • Or if you feel like you’re doing everything you can to make a match but it’s simply not working
  • This concise program is packed with actionable advice and in it I will teach you all the steps that I’ve used with my clients over the last 13 years to bring them more dates, and better quality dates
  • And all the crucial steps you need to take before, during, and after to set yourself up for dating success.
  • Do all the people you like on a first date never seem to call again?
  • Do you find yourself getting tongue-tied or overwhelmed on a first date?
  • Are you bored with your first dates and feeling like you’re running out of options?

Get your First Date Starter Kit at FirstDateStarterKit.Com

 

Top Dating Profile Tips

Whether you’re new to online dating or a veteran user, an amazing profile is always the key to digital dating success. Here are my top dating profile tips that can take you from a left swipe to an amazing night.

  1. A LITTLE PHOTO MAGIC –Photo editing is only controversial if you are actually changing the way you look. However, most people now add filters, adjust lighting, exposure, sharpness or contrast or otherwise improve photo quality so if you’re not doing it, you could be left standing on the sidelines. One simple trick to make yourself stand out is to crop out anyone else in the photo. If you crop it yourself, you can control where the eye goes and make sure it doesn’t wander to your very attractive friend standing next to you.
  2. SMILE FOR THE CAMERA – You’re on instagram daily and you post pics of your girlfriends at the bar every weekend so the old, “I don’t have any pics I can use for my profile” excuse isn’t going to fly anymore. Take the next three days and go on a photo spree. Get solo pics of you using the 3Cs: color, context, and character and you’re bound to start turning heads.
  3. TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT – Most of my clients come to me with a profile that talks more about what they don’t want than what they do. Eliminate any demands about what your new partner must do or cannot do and cut the rants about how you’re tired of getting emails from losers. You might be turning the good guys off along with the bad.
  4. BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU – Studies have shown that you are more likely to be messaged if your profile is a total turnoff to some yet intriguing to others than if you have a safe, middle-of-the road profile. Don’t be afraid to show off your quirky, nerdy, or goofy side. That could be the just the thing that makes someone sit up and take notice of you.
  5. MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS–A couple of pounds, inches, or years of age do not really matter in the long run. In your searches, you should be more open so that you can decide if someone is worth pursuing once the email comes in.
  6. MAKE EVERY WORD COUNT– The only thing worse than a profile that is bare is a profile that could double as a novel. Thin out your profile and make it more readable by starting with a headline for each key part of your life that you want to dedicate a sentence to.

Now, log on, make these simple changes, and get ready to hit the town! These tips are not meant to change who you are; they are meant to make it easier for potential dates to see through to the real you. So, be confident and have fun!