So you’ve decided to join a dating app – amazing!!! Signing up for a dating app is the first and arguably most challenging step towards taking control of your dating destiny. With a simple swipe or a cleverly crafted message, we have a sea of potential matches at our fingertips. But in the crowded landscape of selfies and dog pics, how can we stand out from the crowd AND attract the kind of quality matches we crave?
While there’s no foolproof formula for love, understanding the art of crafting a compelling opener can significantly enhance your chances of making a genuine connection. From humorous one-liners to thoughtful questions, the perfect opener should intrigue, engage, and leave your match eager to learn more about you.
So whether you’re a seasoned dater or just dipping your toes into the digital dating pool, we’ve got you covered. Here are the most successful dating app messaging tips according to the latest stats:
- DITCH TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES – Even before Bumble, it was advised that women seeking men should send the first message on dating apps. Straight men outnumber straight women on all of the most popular dating apps. OkCupid reports that women have been increasingly more likely to send likes and first messages and conversations actually last LONGER when women initiate.
- K.I.S.S. (AKA Keep It Simple, Silly) – People write in to Dates & Mates asking for the perfect opener. But according to OkCupid users, the best ice breaker is a simple introduction or asking a question. We recommend the simple comment + question format. You comment on something in their profile that you had a genuine connection to and then follow up with a simple question that inspires response.
Best ice breaker? Here are OkCupid’s results:
Simple introduction (30%)
Asking a question (30%)
Telling a joke (22%)
Mentioning something on my profile (18%)
- THIS OR THAT – Another opener that usually generates a response is a simple “this or that” question. Chocolate Chip or Oreo? Beer or Wine? Dogs or Cats? East Coast or West Coast Rap? Pick something that you have a strong opinion about and whether or not you agree, you’ll almost always start an interesting conversation.
- KEEP IT CONCISE – While it’s important to show genuine interest, avoid sending long and overwhelming messages in your first interaction. Aim for a more focused message that showcases your curiosity, without overwhelming your match.
- PLEASE PROOFREAD – Before hitting send, take a moment to proofread your message. Check for any spelling or grammatical errors. A well-written message demonstrates attention to detail and shows that you’ve put effort into your communication. And as they say, you can’t make a first impression twice.
Note: While these openers have been effective for many, it’s important to remember that every interaction is unique. Authenticity and respect remain key to building a genuine connection. Use these openers as inspiration, but adapt them to suit your personality and the context of the conversation. 💬