Tag Archive for: dating in summer

Season 11 is coming!

Dates & Mates just wrapped up its 10th season, and over the years we’ve had the opportunity to interview many celebrities, authors, matchmakers and more. So with Season 11 right around the corner, we’re compiling a list of some of Damona’s favorite interviews from this past season to get you prepped for the Season 11 launch on August 22nd! Check it out below…

PLUS –  we heard your feedback and you’ll notice some changes to Dates & Mates Season 11. The episodes will now be shorter and more action-packed. You’ll still hear the amazing in depth interviews that you love most weeks, but we will also sprinkle in some all Dear Damona episodes. 

As for the Dating Dish? You’ll still be able to hear Damona dish about the hottest headlines. Only now, you can view extra content as we move those juicy parts of the show to TikTok, Instagram, and Youtube.

1. Ep #453 with Rachel Lindsay: Rachel is a podcaster, author, and TV host – but you probably know her as the first Black Bachelorette.



2. Ep #436 with Kamie Crawford: You may know her as the co-host of MTV’s hit series, “Catfish: The TV Show.” In this episode, Kamie shares some mind blowing dating safety tips with Damona…



3. Ep #427 with Roy Wood Jr: Damona doesn’t just interview people on dating shows. Occasionally old friends and comedians stop by to share their two cents on the current state of the date – we’re talking about Daily Show Correspondent Roy Wood Jr.!



4. Ep #446 with Dan Savage: Damona was joined by the OG dating and sex columnist, dating and relationship expert, Dan Savage, who shared an interesting perspective on some things straight couples can learn from gay daters.



5. Ep #469 with Orna Guralnik: And we can’t forget Clinical Psychologist Orna Guralnik, the star in Damona’s favorite show Couples Therapy, and the gems that she dropped about communication in relationships.




Keep your questions coming for Season 11! You can reach us on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook to hear your answers on a future episode of Date & Mates.

Team Dating App: With Excuse My Grandma

We are wrapping our Summer Series up with a big bang this week and bringing you a special crossover episode with the Excuse My Grandma podcast where the hosts, Kim and Grandma Gail, talk about the generational differences of dating, sex and relationships. 

Damona sat down with them on their pod to take on the task of convincing Grandma Gail to come on over to Team Dating Apps. Damona, Kim and GG also discuss how to PROPERLY screen your dating app matches, why you SHOULDN’T text too much before a first date, and how a simple phone call could SAVE YOU HOURS in your dating life.

Whether you’re on Team Dating Apps or Team Traditional Dating Methods, this crossover summer series episode with the Excuse My Grandma Podcast is for YOU!


Kim Murstein is a content creator and host of the Excuse My Grandma podcast with her grandmother Gail. Together they cover dating, relationships, and sex advice from two very different generational perspectives.

(11:05) Getting Grandma Gail on Team Dating App…

There are a lot of common concerns around using dating apps – like, how do I know my match is being honest about who they are? Is online dating really safe? What if I end up swiping so much that it affects my mental health? 

Damona addresses all of Grandma Gail’s dating app concerns and goes over the 5 Dating Loops that may be keeping you from finding your match.

(17:20) Texting etiquette & the 3-Date Rule.

Damona goes over some common traps in texting, most prominently something called the “Online Disinhibition Effect.” This is the process in which texting too often with someone can create a false sense of intimacy, which can cause you to overshare with someone. So if you think you may be sharing too much too quickly, ask yourself – would I say this to this person if we were face to face at a bar or on a coffee date?

Grandma Gail also shares her 2-Date Rule, while Damona goes over her 3-Date Rule.

(37:30) Dating in your 60s vs your 30s…

One of the biggest differences between dating culture for people in their 60s vs 20s and 30s? Women over 60 are the biggest targets for romance scams, which is why Damona has her clients be extra diligent about screening. One tip Damona gives is to read someone’s messages as if they were written to someone else – how personalized or specific to you are the messages? 

Damona also goes into the key phrases someone might use if they’re trying to scam you.

(42:55) OkCupid’s Dating Trend Predictions!

Throwback Tuesday! Since this episode aired last Fall, Damona goes over OkCupid’s Fall 2022 dating trend predictions. Some of the main trends include emphasis on IRL dates and being forward about mental health with matches. 

Damona also defines “cuffing season” and “peak dating season” for those who aren’t aware…


Check out Excuse My Grandma on your favorite podcast app and be sure to follow Kim and Grandma Gail on Instagram @ExcuseMyGrandma.



There is no Dear Damona this week, but please submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear your answers during a future episode of Date & Mates!

Unsure if your question is right for Dates & Mates? Check out our recent all-Dear Damona episode to get a taste of what our listeners are thinking. 📝



Up Your Dating Skills: feat. The Mark Groves Podcast

We’ve got another amazing crossover episode for y’all this week. Damona joins forces with the The Mark Groves Podcast, where the two break down the ways in which dating is a learned skill, not a natural born talent – and more.


This episode originally aired in November of 2020, so the conversation will take you back to that time when covid and racial justice were at the forefront of our minds. And if you’ve been listening to the rest of the Summer Series, you’ll recognize some familiar details about Damona’s origin story.

So if you are ready to maximize your relationship potential, then this crossover Summer Series episode with The Mark Groves Podcast is for YOU!


On his podcast, Mark explores the juiciest parts of the human experience and what it’s like to live authentically in the modern world. The Mark Groves Podcast is also one of the top 10 podcasts on relationships in the world.

(8:00) How to use dating apps “properly.”

One of the biggest hurdles Damona has encountered with her clients is that they don’t know how to use dating apps to their fullest potential. A big part of this is knowing how to couple clarity with action. In her sessions, she often prompts her clients to reflect on how they have programmed the app to deliver matches of a certain caliber – AKA we teach the app to give us more of what we’re swiping on. Mark also mentions that we tend to put people into predefined boxes when dating. And although this can be a shortcut to getting closer to our match, it often limits the potential for the matches we COULD have.

Damona continues to dish on the best way to tell your story in your profile photos, including what pics NOT to use.

(25:25) Breaking down our biases through self-work…

Damona shares a bit more about her upbringing, being the daughter of a black woman from Detroit and a Jewish man from Chicago. She explains that it took a lot of self-reflection in order for her to question and break down her own biases about herself and “ideal” beauty standards. Only then was Damona ready to meet her life partner, Seth. Mark and Damona pose the question to listeners – what beliefs are you holding that are keeping you stuck in a place of familiarity?

Damona also breaks down some OkCupid stats surrounding biases on dating apps, and how attraction bias can change based on your upbringing.

**If you want to know more, listen to this episode of The Daily Show Podcast where Damona goes further into the idea of “sexual racism.”

(44:55) No one is born knowing how to date!

With all that we absorb culturally from Rom-Coms and happy endings, we tend to see finding love as something that should come easy. But surprise – dating is a learned skill! A common worry from Damona’s clients is that they “don’t want to waste time” on the wrong people. But you will never waste your time if you learn something from the dating experiences you do have. Mark asserts that “one of the best things you can learn in dating is how to say no faster.”

Mark and Damona continue discussing how people can get trapped in a dating rut by focusing on the quantity of matches vs. the quality of their matches and conversations.

Check out The Mark Groves Podcast on your favorite podcast app and be sure to follow Mark on Instagram @ItsMarkGroves AND @createthelove.



There is no Dear Damona this week, but please submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear your answers during a future episode of Date & Mates!

Unsure if your question is right for Dates & Mates? Check out our recent all-Dear Damona episode to get a taste of what our listeners are thinking. 📝 

Master Class: Do you have a “Type”?

Reality dating shows are all the rage. From Love Is Blind to 30 Day Fiance, we are constantly watching love as a social experiment on our TVs and it has left the Dates & Mates team wondering, are singles willing to experiment in their own dating lives? 

They should be! Having a growth mindset around improving your dating skills could be the key to finding your match.

In this mini masterclass, Damona shares why having a “Type” is a myth, why it may be holding you back in dating, and how you can expand your dating pool beyond seeing the same type of person again and again.


  • (5:00) Be open to finding love anywhere and everywhere.
  • (6:05) The Familiarity Principle.
  • (11:15) Focus on how your values intersect.
  • (15:45) What if what you believed about your “type” wasn’t true?


Have you ever been curious about 1-on-1 coaching? Enrollment is currently open for Damona’s Diamond VIP Coaching Program! Go to damonahoffman.com/vipprogram to book an assessment call with Damona’s hand-selected coach Yogi Marquis, and get on the road to getting unstuck in love.

The 5 Dating Loops : Featuring the Multiamory Podcast

As we continue our “Summer Series” this week, we are turning the tables with another crossover episode. It is from another groundbreaking podcast, one that creates a space for non-traditional relationships, the Multiamory Podcast. 

Damona recently sat down on Dates & Mates with Multiamory hosts, Jace, Emily and Dedeker, who have made it their mission to raise awareness, provide resources, and destigmatize non-monogamy. In this episode, Damona joins Jace and Dedeker on the Multiamory Podcast and shares tips to avoid or overcome dating app fatigue, why you should microdose your dating, and how to know if you should go on a second or third date.


(7:10) Why we need real-time communication…

Damona breaks down how the concepts of texting and social media are fairly new concepts in dating and how we really need to be prioritizing real-time communication. Because when your primary mode of communication with someone is over text, you lose the nuance of tone, eye contact and body language to inform it. 

Damona also describes how texting chemistry doesn’t always translate to IRL chemistry.

(11:30) How can we overcome dating app fatigue (and the different types of it)?

Dedeker asks Damona about her thoughts on dating app fatigue – what causes it, how to get out of it, etc. Firstly, Damona says one of the biggest issues is that when we start to feel fatigue, we don’t give ourselves a break. Usually we just push through our fatigue until we hit burnout. But giving yourself a break from dating apps does not mean you’ve failed or given up, and is perfectly okay!

(27:45) Debunking popular dating advice.

With the rise of TherapyTok and the reality dating renaissance, it’s easy to get caught up in the “shoulds” of dating. But Damona states that each individual’s timeline is different and that there’s really no set rules. 

Damona also goes into some of the rules her past clients have set for themselves, and how our “type” is usually informed by the people we’ve dated in the past.

(33:45) Damona answers listener questions!

I’m on the fence about my match but I’m still curious – should I go on another date? How much should I disclose about myself on my dating profile? Am I using dating apps the wrong way? Damona answers these questions and more…


Check out Multiamory on your favorite podcast app and be sure to follow Dedeker, Jace and their co-host Emily on Instagram @multiamory_podcast.




There is no Dear Damona this week, but please submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear your answers during a future episode of Date & Mates!Unsure if your question is right for Dates & Mates?

Check out our recent all-Dear Damona episode to get a taste of what our listeners are thinking. 📝

Dating App Curious: Featuring Seeing Other People


As mentioned in last week’s 4th of July minisode on flirting, all summer long we’ll be doing a mix of masterclasses and showcases of Damona’s favorite dating & relationship podcasts. We’ll be featuring interviews Damona has given on various topics over the past few years, and some fantastic shows that you’ll want to subscribe to to complement your Dates & Mates listening.

Today’s interview comes from the fantastic podcast Seeing Other People, hosted by Ilana Dunn. This episode is especially ideal for anyone who is “dating app curious.” You’ll also hear tips for moving towards exclusivity, advice on avoiding the texting trap, and how to fully take control of your dating destiny.


Ilana is the former video and content producer for the dating app Hinge. And she’s an expert in Millenial and Gen Z dating. In this episode we do a deep dive on dating apps from the perspective of two industry insiders.

(6:50) Has modern dating become easier or harder?

With the acceleration of dating technology in the past decade, our dating pools have seen extensive changes to the amount of people we cross paths with (and that have the potential to become our match). But with more opportunity brings more challenges, as Damona mentions. Because the dating pool has now expanded, it’s CRUCIAL that we know how to filter our matches effectively to avoid burnout.

Damona also shares why she identifies as a “feminist dating coach” and how this affects the way she works with clients.

(15:15) You will have to send the first message at some point.

Although we’ve moved past a lot of the outdated parts of chivalry, many of us are still very attached to the idea of the man approaching the woman first. But Damona suggests asking yourself – what is the life you really want to build, and how many of the old rules still apply to you? Why are you sitting around waiting to be chosen when you could do the choosing?

Damona mentions that according to OkCupid data, women who initiate messages on dating apps have higher levels of relationship satisfaction AND longer conversations with their matches. But if you’re stressed about what to say, don’t fret! Damona says the easiest formula for an opening message is a comment + a question. Comment on something that struck you in their profile, and follow it up with a curiosity question!

(26:00) Don’t skip the Screening Step…

Dating burnout is a huge symptom of the expansion in dating pools (and one of the things we get asked the most about at Dates & Mates). But Damona points out that screening your matches before going on another first date is the KEY to conserving your energy and avoiding burnout. Having a call or video chat with your match before meeting in person can actually help you suss out if you have any chemistry to begin with. And remember that just because you have good banter over text, doesn’t mean it will translate IRL.

Your first date goal should not be a 3 hour long dinner date – this is a guaranteed trip to burnout. A one-hour coffee date is enough to let you know if you are interested in a second date. And if it goes well, you are leaving your first date on an energetic high!

(31:40) Does exclusivity mean the same thing to everyone?

The idea of being “exclusive” often gets us into trouble if we don’t include clear communication. Damona asserts that it’s never a good idea to assume you’re exclusive – you will have to have an intentional conversation with your match where you are both on the same page about what that means.

We also avoid clear communication when we focus on “playing it cool.” But truly, what do you lose by being up front with your match and letting them know you want to see them again? As Damona states, when you clearly lay out your intentions, you get a clear response back.

(51:00) Every interaction we have in dating is a chance to learn.

Although most times the goal of dating is to find a partner, dating is also a great way to learn about ourselves and clarify our core values. Damona says it’s also a great chance practice of empathetic dating, which involves having compassion for yourself and your match.

Damona and Ilana also discuss how to give yourself closure when dating. Because often, we won’t get the explanation we need from the other person in order to move on. But Ilana mentions a great way to create closure for yourself – dig deep and figure out the exact lesson you’re taking from that relationship.


Check out more episodes of Seeing Other People on your favorite podcast app. And be sure to follow Ilana on IG @ilana.dunn or @seeingotherpeople.




There is no Dear Damona this week, but please submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear your answers during a future episode of Date & Mates!Unsure if your question is right for Dates & Mates?

Check out our recent all-Dear Damona episode to get a taste of what our listeners are thinking. 📝

Summer Dating & SET It Up


It’s 4th of July, Independence Day here in the States! And while people might say summer isn’t a great time for romance, we beg to differ.

This week 20 years ago, Damona actually had her first date with her husband Seth, and has since made many matches for her clients over the summer.

Summer takes people out of their normal routines. Think about it – there’s travel, summer work schedules, wanting to be out and about enjoying the good weather with friends. It’s switching up the mundane that gets you to take chances, say yes to new things, and bring new people into your orbit. And THAT is precisely the energy we want you to harness if you’re single this summer.

The other thing that makes this summer unique is this is the first time we are officially not in a pandemic in 3 years!!! Everyone has had their lives deeply impacted since Covid-19, which has prompted people to enter into dating with a new mindset and drive for true connection.

So let’s get down to it. Here are the 3 ways you can take advantage of your single status this summer…

  • (2:00) Adopt an attitude of yes.
  • (2:25) Embrace the apps – here’s how.
  • (4:00) S.E.T. it up! (AKA Smile, Eye Contact, & Touch)

Ready for Damona’s 201 Flirt School class? She recently created an entire Guide on Flirting in the Blinkist app!

Blinkist allows you to hear or read the key points from books and podcasts, and they invited Damona to share her biggest flirting tips and favorite books that will help you with your flirting skills. Download Blinkist today and look for Damona’s Guide on Flirting. 😘