Dates & Mates Holiday Gift Guide

THE BEST HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

Every year, I get tons of emails asking me for gift suggestions – so this year I decided to make a holiday gift guide. 

Some people have a hard time shopping for their significant others during the holiday season. The pressure is definitely on during this crucial time in any relationship.

via GIPHY

My first rule of thumb: Emotional value always trumps monetary value.  

Get them something that shows you’ve been listening rather than something that shows you waited until the last minute and just plunked down a wad of cash instead of taking the time to choose something that your significant other would specifically want.

I’ve put together this holiday gift guide to help you think through your options if you want to make this holiday special. I’ve made it super easy for you: 

You can either read through my extensive guide to picking the perfect holiday gift OR scroll down to the bottom for my cheat sheet gift guide.

IF YOU WANT TO GET BROKEN UP WITH… 

A one-way ticket to relationship discord to the holiday is a bad gift. This can be anything from a flat out thoughtless gift, to misconstrued presents, to showing up empty-handed.

Here are a few things to stay away from:

Electronics

From iPods to Kindles to a new microwave, if it’s got a warranty it’s an appliance—not a sign of affection. Anything that plugs in, takes batteries or is powered by the sun, no matter how cool you may think it is will be too impersonal for the first gift-giving exchange in a new relationship.

Jewelry

Dating is not the same as marriage, and even the rules of giving back the ring after divorce are muddy so why get caught up in the big expense of something that may or may not last in the long run? Or even worse, cheap jewelry will just look like you don’t care. 

Diamonds are forever, but a new relationship may not be. Wait until a meaningful anniversary to give something shiny.

Clothing

Unless you’re a successful clothing designer, you’re still learning the style AND SIZE of your new mate. Instead of risking a huge fight about the difference between a petite small and a small small, opt for something a little more tailored to their taste than to their waist.

Novelty Items

Even if Spencer’s Gifts does see a huge influx of customers during the holidays, you don’t have to be one of them. A black-light poster, Snuggie or lava lamp (see No.1) may be cool in your crib, but anything that elicits a laugh may not be quite the reaction you were hoping for.

Sexy Anything

Lingerie, silk boxers, and (heaven forbid) sex toys can and will send the wrong message. Especially when your lady’s friends ask her what she received for the holidays. Save the kinky stuff until you make it to Valentine’s Day.

Nothing

Showing up empty-handed is even worse than showing up with a dildo. Even if you’re two weeks into a relationship, giving something is always better than nothing. So if you’re stumped on what to get and are only coming up with items from this list, at least make sure it’s something, not nothing.

Cards

And I don’t mean playing cards either (which would also make a terrible gift). While the simple act of giving a card is better than the dump-worthy gift of nothing, it’s still not enough. If you have to give a card, make one yourself. Make it meaningful with photos or showcase your artistic side. Rule of thumb: If someone else is quoted is on the card, choose again.

Gift Certificates

Practical, necessary and sometimes thoughtful, gift certificates can be a great gift for co-workers, employees and handymen. For anyone you sleep next to, not so much. If you know where they like to shop get them something from there with a gift receipt, not a blank check to take time out of their day to buy themselves a gift. 

Home Furnishings

Because nothing says “I don’t want to see you anymore” like the gift of a fleece blanket.

Lotion or Soap

Do not be tempted by the Bed, Bath, and Beyond gift basket. Even though the sales lady says women always love it, chances are she already received several from people who don’t really give a crap about her. Try to be the exception.

Also, if someone were to give you the gift of soap, wouldn’t your first thought be, “oh my god, do I smell bad?” Definitely stay away from soap.

Money

You laugh, but it’s been done. Aside from being kind of totally rude, it shows no originality, no emotion and is really, really lame. If you’re so out of your element that you are thinking about resorting to giving the gift of green, it may be time to get some professional help.

BEFORE YOU PICK OUT A GIFT (NOTE: GUYS DEF READ THIS)

Talk and Listen

Many times women think they are dropping hints about what they want for months and weeks before the holiday. Often times men are completely oblivious to these hints.  If you think you may have missed the message, simply try asking what she wants. 

Even if it’s direct, it will show her that you care about her and want to get her something she would like.

What She Wants Most is YOU

Spending quality time with you is one of the most valuable things you can give your lady. Take a moment this holiday season to treat her like the queen she is. Take the reigns in the kitchen and cook for her tonight. Offer a foot massage at the end of a long day. These gestures will mean more than anything that comes in a box.

JEWISH HOLIDAYS 2019

If your family is anything like mine, you are planning for Christmas and Jewish Holidays 2019. It’s always appreciated if you do something to acknowledge every night of Hanukkah but usually not expected. You have the opportunity to be clever though and build each gift upon the last.  Perhaps you order candy hearts made that spell out a special message across the eight nights. Or give her some chocolate Hanukkah gelt nightly and then give her a guide illustrating how the number of coins corresponds to different gifts of her choice on the eighth evening. You can give her a variety of options and let her decide how she wants to spend her gelt. That will give you points for being cute and creative but also ensure that she gets exactly what she wants.

OKAY NOW HERE’S YOUR CHEAT SHEET!

NEW BOO

Regardless of how far along you are in your relationship, from benign dating to almost boyfriend/girlfriend status – get them something for Hanukkah or Christmas. 

You don’t have to overthink this gift and you should probably not spend a lot of money. However, all relationships – even new ones – do warrant some sort of acknowledgment this season.

Here are a few ideas to get you started or spark some inspiration:

Remember that what they want most is to spend time with you. Try giving the gift of an experience!

Groupon has everything from painting classes to concerts to kayaking trips! Click here to get your first Groupon experience!

Are they obsessed with music? Try a stylish crate for their record collection:

Have they ever mentioned wanting to make time to read more? Try gifting an Audible Membership.


 

LONG TIME BAE

Sometimes partners can feel taken for granted after a few months or years so this is your time to remind her how special they are to you. 

Again, try the gift of an experience! Do something new to get you out of your routine.

Most ladies love jewelry so if you’re not ready to pop the question (which I don’t usually recommend doing during the holidays) try a lovely necklace instead. The box MUST NOT be misleading to her. There’s nothing worse than thinking you’re getting an engagement ring and ending up with a pair of earrings. Something for every price point:

For a guy, try a nice watch. A good watch is a timeless gift. There’s something for every price point.


Whatever you do this season, it’s a good idea to talk about how you like to spend the holidays in advance to make sure you’re on the same page about how and when you’re observing.

And don’t forget to ask her out for New Year’s Eve if you want to be with her to ring in the new year. My mother always told me the superstition that what you’re doing on NYE is what you’ll be doing the rest of your year so make sure that this New Year’s, the fireworks are not only in the sky.

Surviving The Holidays While Single

A Few Dating Dangers For Singles To Avoid This Holiday Season

Navigating the holidays can be hard when your parents keep asking why you’re still single. This week, I interviewed with The BBC and was not surprised by the most recent statistics on dating app fatigue for singles this holiday season. Millennials are now deleting Tinder more than ever.

I see dating app fatigue frequently during the holiday season due in large part to awkward questions incoming from relatives. Here are a few tips to get you through this holiday season: 

I’m still optimistic about dating apps 

Like I’ve said before, dating apps are the most powerful tool in your dating tool box. If you’re feeling down about dating apps just remember this:

Now more than ever daters are finding love online. Here are the latest stats from eHarmony that might cheer you up a bit:

online dating statistics

Even with proof like this, people do tend to get down on dating apps around the holidays. Often parents and relatives don’t understand that online dating is the norm now. The latest news may not have helped that…

Tell your parents the dating apps aren’t dangerous

You may have seen in the news that the safety of some of the best dating apps has been called into question. A recent investigation proved that registered sex offenders are finding victims through free dating apps and websites such as Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, and more. 

This is terrifying. But also, it’s an opportunity to examine 1) which dating apps you are using and 2) how we are filtering potential dates. 

On episode # 287 Dates & Mates I discuss this with Rene Lynch, editor of LA Affairs in the LA Times. We break this controversy down: 

  • If you’re concerned about your safety, perhaps use a dating app that automatically background checks against the sex offender registry – like Match. These are typically paid subscription dating apps that have the resources to filter for dangerous situations.
  • Do some research on your own. Before you meet your date in person, take some time to double check that they are safe:
    • Don’t forget the pre-date phone call! Make sure that everything checks out
    • A quick search on all social media platforms of this person can tell you all you need to know
    • If something feels off to you, follow your intuition.

On that note… here are a few thoughts on how to handle other awkward conversations from relatives

I recently filmed a segment with Access on the dating and relationship complications that arise during the holidays. Be prepared for all of the awkward questions because you’re going to get them. 

How many times have you heard something on the order of, “Why are you still single” or “when are you going to settle down?”

If you don’t want to talk about why you’re single during the holidays, share all the accomplishments that you want to share instead of focusing on the negative. If all else fails and they just keep asking, tell them some of your bad date stories.

If you haven’t seen it yet, check out the segment for more tips on getting through the trials of being single during the holidays.

But since you’re on holiday, maybe you can dedicate some extra time to dating?

I always encourage daters to be proactive in finding love. My rule of thumb is to dedicate five hours a week or more to your dating process.

If you’re experiencing dating app fatigue, you should take a break

We have all been there. Sometimes you get tired of the seemingly endless and monotonous game of swiping. But once you take a step back, you realize that the dating apps are more than just swiping at faces. 

If you’re in a dating rut, make sure you take some time to regroup. I always tell my clients that it’s better to take a break than to bring the wrong energy into dating.

While you’re taking a break from dating apps…

Make an effort to meet people in real life and be more conscious about the kind of person you are looking for. You can actively search in relevant spaces where you can find potential matches with common interests. 

Where’s your match hiding?

If you’re looking for someone that has a professional career, you might want to go downtown at happy hour and make sure that you’re talking to people that work in those office buildings, or if you’re looking for someone who has a big heart, go to charity events and places where you’re going to meet people who make philanthropy a part of their lifestyle.

Do you have a dating resolution for next year?  Reach out to me on social (@DamonaHoffman on all platforms) and let me know your biggest dating challenge right now and I’ll help you fix it!

 

Dear Damona: First Kiss & Work Crush

LEARN FROM MY EXPERIENCES DATING IN LA

Like many big cities, Los Angeles dating seems daunting at first. Where do you find dates? Can you date a work crush? Why aren’t there any available singles?

But as I learned years ago, Los Angeles dating – and dating everywhere – doesn’t have to be complicated. Learn from my mistakes!

You know one of the favorite things about my job is giving advice. This week’s episode is all about answering the questions that you have submitted and throwing a few stories in there from my own dating experience. Plus Producer Leah joins me with insight from the millennial dating perspective.

DEAR DAMONA

Do you have any tips on how to pay compliments to guys? 

Our listener writes, “I feel like it’s flirting 101 but I must have missed that life lesson. Whenever a guy gives me a compliment I want to return the favor. But outside of “you’re beard game is strong” which idk if that counts”

I certainly wasn’t looking for an office romance, I’ve found myself attracted to a coworker. 

Our listener Geneva explains, “We hit it off so well and laugh and joke about things every single day at work. Since there’s a lot at stake when having a relationship with a coworker, I’d like to subtly let him know I’m interested and open to exploring a relationship. Do you have any advice for how to do this in an obvious yet subtle way that will still allow him to save face if he’s not into me? I don’t want to create an awkward work situation.”

How do I move on from texting to calling her and then finally asking her out? 

Who reaches out to who after the 1st date? Do you let the person know if you wanna keep talking or not?

How does the first kiss go? Like what is the right way to do it?

What do you do when you started talking to a guy but then a major life event happened and you feel like you need some time before continuing anything? 

Something major happened to a close friend of mine recently and I just started seeing this guy but idk how to tell him I need a little space without telling him what happened because it’s such an intimate thing.

What’s a good way to get back in with someone you were messaging?

Why are people so crappy? 

Our listener asks, “People say you allow other people’s behavior towards you. What I don’t understand is why is it that a person has to act crappy towards another person. They know what they are doing and then when you say something about it, they get upset and it gets blown out of proportion.”

Wash Post: Left Disney to become a Taxidermist?

If you know the story of how I came to be a dating coach – you know that I have a soft spot for entrepreneurs who strike out on their own to pursue their passion.

Allis Markham of Prey Taxidermy is so magnificent and inspiring! I’m so honored to share her story for the Washington Post on newsstands this Sunday.

Here’s a sneak peek:

She left her social media job to take up taxidermy. Now her work is on TV.

You never forget your first deer, especially when it took several days to skin, stuff and dye the fur pink. It was 2013 and Allis Markham was working as a director of social media strategy at Disney in the Los Angeles area when she decided to spend two weeks in Montana to learn the art of taxidermy. At the time, she was interested in creating avant-garde pieces that merged her love of wildlife with her passion for art, hence the pink deer.

She went on to volunteer at the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles and studied under Tim Bovard, the museum’s head taxidermist. “I volunteered so long I think they were embarrassed to not pay me anymore,” Markham remembers. Though she says she would have paid them for the experience, she officially became part of the team after a year of apprenticeship. Her time there shifted her focus from “rogue taxidermy” to creating works that were true to their natural state. (She gave the pink deer away.)

Continue Reading here!

Love & Loss

AM I EVER GOING TO LOVE OR LOVE AGAIN?

 

After a breakup, divorce, or a loss of a partner, we often ask ourselves this question.

In the description of this show we say you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll believe in love again. But have you ever had to learn how to love again after loss?

 Whether you’ve been through a breakup, divorce, or the passing of your partner this episode is for you. Healing your heart is a long process – A lot of us feel guilty moving on or feel like we’ll never find someone as great as what we once had.

We’ve all been there. 

But today we want to give you hope. That is why I’ve brought in Gladys Diaz – a love expert who helps people learn to love and trust again.

She is the co-founder of The Love Twins of Heart’s Desire International. 

After being widowed at a young age, Gladys believed that she would never love or be loved again. She and her sister developed  a program that women how to love after loss – a program that she followed to meet the second man of her dreams 19 years ago. Here’s the rundown:

DATING DISH

How to find the perfect first date spot

According to GQ, you should find a few first date spots and stick to them. Damona and Gladys discuss.

Do you really need to find your intellectual match?

Damona and Gladys have thoughts on this article from Female First. 

Do you want to feel safer when dating?

Apparently there is a brand new chaperoning / matchmaking service that takes away the pressure of meeting a stranger in public for the first time. Is this really necessary?

Love & Loss

Learn to Love Again

Gladys lost the love of her life at age 27. After some time, she developed a program to heal her own heart and open herself up to love again. Gladys now helps women of all backgrounds heal from breakups, divorce, and the loss of a partner.

We cover:

  • Gladys’ Love Story
  • Breakups and divorces are in a lot of ways like the passing of a partner
  • Limiting Belief: I will never love again
  • Feeling guilty for moving on
  • The two steps you must do before moving on
  • Accepting new love in your life

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What’s the deal with people who put someone else’s kids in their dating profile?
  • Is online dating a must if you’re 39 and divorced?

Slow Love & Relationship Future

DOES YOUR RELATIONSHIP HAVE A FUTURE?

Today on the 5th episode of the in the Summer Love Series, we talk about relationship pacing and slow love. How long do you really need to know someone before you know they’re the one?

Tina Wilson, CEO of the Wingman matchmaking app, joins us to get down to the bottom of this. 

PLUS Francesca Hogi, a love and life coach for people who happen to be single, dishes on this week’s headlines and give BOMB advice for our listener questions.

 

DATING DISH (3:00)

Emojis in your dating profile: To Use or Not To Use?

According to a recent survey, emojis may not be such a good idea in your dating profile. Damona and Francesca have thoughts.

Can board games make you fall in love?

The latest research indicates that playing board games on a date is an effective way to create chemistry with your partner. Damona and Francesca break it down.  

Ariana Grande opens up about her love life

Was her relationship with Pete Davidson a mistake? Ariana tells all. 

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS YOU’RE WITH THE ONE? (25:00)

Everything you need to know about relationship pacing

Especially if you’re at an age where you feel the pressure of a ticking time clock, how long should you wait before getting serious?

Tina and I have THOUGHTS – and our answers may surprise you!  We also talk: 

  • Healthy relationship timelines
  • Comparing yourself to other relationships
  • The signs they’re ready for commitment
  • And so much more!

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you don’t want to miss this episode!

TECHNICALLY DATING (44:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Where do you meet people offline IRL?
  • I’ve been single for 5 years and I really want to be in a relationship but I’m struggling to believe I’m ready.
  • Am I chasing him if I initiate text conversations?

 

YOU’RE A BABE, TOO

intimacy can be intimidating. Especially since we’re constantly comparing ourselves to the unrealistic bodies we see everyday on tv, magazines, and on social media.

Are you missing out on intimate moments in your relationship because you’re worried about the way you look in the bedroom? 

Do you feel uncomfortable disrobing for intimacy, or are you stuck wearing a loose fitting granny gown or one of those tiny garter ensembles that push and pinch you in all the wrong places? 

You are beautiful and you deserve to wear something that is going to Instantly make you look and feel sexy. 

That is why we are partnering with BABE YOU Instant Body-Transforming Lingerie.

They have spent years designing and crafting a full line of glamorous, seductive, PATENTED body-transforming lingerie that gives us an INSTANT hourglass figure for romance. 

At BabeYou.com, you can customize your own lingerie outfits to express your individual style and hide your specific problem areas.

It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3! 

 Step 1) Select your body-transforming base garment…vivacious pink, sexy red, or sultry black!

Step 2) Choose from their matching patented add-on system.  

They have dozens sexy teddies, bras, negligees, and wraps to wear on your base garment that help you hide problem areas and accentuate your sleek new hourglass shape!

Step 3) Accessorize with their full line of Hollywood style jewelry, shoes, and accessories.

When things heat up, BABE YOU is uniquely designed to remain on during your more intimate moments… if you know what I mean…ensuring that you feel confident and sexy in the bedroom.

 BABE YOU: “‘Cuz Just like the Celebrities, You’re a Babe, too!” 

Visit BabeYou.com and use the offer code DATESANDMATES to get 10% off your first order!

Dates & Mates: HuffPost Best Podcast Pick

Dates & Mates is a Best Podcast Pick!

While we’ve been busy celebrating our 250th episode of Dates & Mates, HuffPost has given us some more good news!

Dates & Mates had been selected as a Best Podcast Pick on HuffPost‘s “13 Podcasts About Love And Sex To Spice Up Your Commute”

Here is an excerpt from the article:

The best podcasts make you feel like you’re chatting ― err, having a very one-sided conversation ― with a close friend. That’s why the medium works so well when the topic at hand is love, sex or dating; if you find a good pod, it’s like listening to a smart friend dispensing his or her very best advice every week or so.

We can’t get enough of them, so we decided to ask some marriage therapists, writers and comedians to share their favorite love-centric podcast. See what they had to say below.

1.Private Parts Unknown

“My favorite love/sex/all that jazz podcast recently is ‘Private Parts Unknown.’ It’s a relatively new travel podcast where the hosts Courtney and Sofiya interview people in different cities around the world (their first one is Helsinki) about gender and sex. I came for the funny banter on how foreign cities have different attitudes on sex and sexuality but I stayed for the deep discussions on the structural issues behind why foreign cities have those different attitudes.” ― Johnathan Appel, a comedian in New York City

2. Rise Together

“Married couple Rachel and Dave Hollis have created an amazing podcast about how we can be intentional about creating an exceptional relationship. They offer practical advice, and speak candidly about topics that many couples are afraid to address openly. Plus they’re hilarious and will keep you laughing even while they’re talking about tough topics!” ― Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and online course creator

See where Dates & Mates ranks by reading here!

Valentines & Love in 90 Days

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T STRESS ABOUT VALENTINES DAY

Are you facing another Valentine’s Day single? It’s not too late to change your luck in love. Damona specializes in helping people get unstuck in love fast and so does our co-host for this week, Dr. Diana Kirschner. In this very special Valentine’s Day episode we get you answers on how to change your dating destiny! Here’s the rundown:

LOVE IN 90 DAYS (1:41)

You may know Dr. Diana Kirschner from her PBS show or her best selling book, Love in 90 Days. Love in 90 Days has changed so many lives over the past 10 years that Dr. Diana has updated, re-released, packed it with even more advice on how to find love fast.

  • Dr. Diana’s three steps to finding love in 90 Days
  • Where most people go wrong in dating
  • Identifying self-sabotaging patterns that prevent you from finding love
  • Finding Self Confidence & Self Worth
  • Diamond Self Identity & The Radiant Beacon of Loving Guidance
  • Dating three people at once
  • How to make sure you don’t miss “The One”
  • And so much more!

Get the book and $1000 worth of BONUS content at LoveIn90Days.com

TECHNICALLY DATING (18:41)

This week we coach singles LIVE on air! We gave so much good advice so TAKE NOTES:

  • Why do we put so much pressure on our dates?
  • Where do you find people who won’t ghost you?
  • What do you do when someone wants to commit too fast?

Thank you to Marquis, Deb, and Lauren for coming into the studio and allowing us to give them guidance! Marquis, Deb, and Lauren are SINGLE and READY TO MINGLE, Ladies and Gents. Slide in those DMs!!

(But def use a better opening line than this^)

And don’t forget to submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show!

SPREAD THE LOVE THIS VALENTINE’S WEEK

A HUGE THANK YOU to Apple Podcasts for featuring us on the front page this week! We are one of a handful of podcasts included in their Valentine’s Week “In the Mood for Love” playlist! Do you love the Dates & Mates Podcast? If you do, please take a moment to  REVIEW & SUBSCRIBE! The more subscribers and reviews we get, the longer we can continue to give all of this great dating content for free!

SUBSCRIBE HERE!

ARE YOU MISSING ALL THE GOOD MATCHES ONLINE?

There are millions of people on dating apps worldwide. If you’re not finding love there, your profile may be the problem. Use Damona’s FREE guide to creating the ultimate MAGNETIC online dating profile. Get the Profile Starter Kit at profilestarterkit.com

Breakups & Quitting By Design

BABY DON’T HURT ME, NO MORE

To close out this #DivorceMonth2019 we talked all about breakups and quitting relationships. Breakups are a pretty heavy topic so Damona called in reinforcements. Enter Lynn Marie Morski, self professed “professional quitter” and Jonathon Aslay, Midlife dating and relationships coach. We talked about A LOT today. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:24)

Your New Matchmaker revealed: Your DNA

New dating app Pheramor matches you with your DNA. Is this the answer to finding love now? Damona and Jonathon discuss.

The TRUTH behind your romantic type

Meghan Markle seems to be pretty different from Prince Harry’s other girlfriends, right? Wrong. According to foot analysts, all of Prince Harry’s girlfriends have the exact same (very specific) foot feature. Damona and Jonathon tell us what this means for you with the help of science.

Channing on life as a single dad

This Divorce Month, Channing Tatum is being the best dad he can be and trying to find a good balance with ex-wife, Jenna Dewan nee Tatum. Is he doing a good job? Damona has thoughts.

Quitting By Design (14:00)

There are lots of steps to a breakup – even when you haven’t been in a relationship for very long. How do you sort through all the BS and make the best decision for you?

Lynn Marie Morski has quit several times in her life. She is a physician, attorney, speaker, author, and the Founder of Quitting By Design, Lynn Marie is on a mission to help people carve out a successful life through strategic quitting to inform your life’s true purpose and path which led her to write her new book, ‘Quitting by Design.’ We talked about A LOT:

  • Deciding to quit
  • The 5 step quitting process
  • Fears of quitting & quitting fears
  • Logistics of quitting
  • NO GHOSTING!
  • Sunk Cost Fallacy & “I’ve invested so much time!”
  • And so much more!

TECHNICALLY DATING (40:20)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should your boyfriend have to deal with your family drama?
  • What to say when you don’t want a second date

STAY SEXY IN 2019

Get back in shape after the holiday by beginning a program with Beach Body on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

Dating Myths & The DM Deal

ARE YOU BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY?

Did you know that women in the top 20% of attractiveness receive 5 times as many messages as women who are rated as “average attractiveness”? Today we welcomed Lindsey Pelas, social media influencer, model, activist, and entrepreneur to tell us the truth about your online image. Damona and Lindsey break down dating stereotypes and discuss how to be taken seriously on dating apps today no matter what your “Tinder ranking” is. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:39)

Career or a sex life? Both?

You would think that the more you work, the less you have sex, right? Wrong. According to recent studies, people who work more actually have more sex. Damona and Lindsey discuss.

The $69 Billion Dollar Man

Just when you thought the Bezos’ divorce couldn’t get any wilder, it did. Damona and Lindsey break down the newest developments.

Hollywood’s Newest Engagement

Spotted: Katherine Schwarzenegger with a FABULOUS new engagement ring from Chris Pratt. But did Chris Pratt do enough to warn Anna Faris? Damona doesn’t think so.

Avoid these dating trends in 2017

Damona and Lindsey define Cookie Jarring, Pocketing, and Prowling.

GET SERIOUS (39:18)

In today’s increasingly visual online dating environment, it can be a struggle to create a profile that is going to attract the right kind of attention. Damona hears the same problem from a lot of women: How do we get taken seriously when we match based mostly on looks? The answer: It’s not easy, but not impossible.  

We invited Lindsey Pelas into the studio to help us break it down. In addition to her successful modeling and media career, Lindsey Pelas also has an IMPRESSIVE portfolio. She has a degree, she’s an activist, she is a Instagram business early adopter, public speaker, and entrepreneur. Damona and Lindsey talked about A LOT:

  • #WomeninBusiness and Investing
  • Is it really easier to date if you’re beautiful
  • What makes you more attractive? Is it different for men?
  • Confidence and Attractiveness
  • Pick Up Artist Theory
  • Why men are mean
  • How do slide in the DMs
  • Treating your partner well
  • Trash Talking your ex
  • Is it actually harder to date in LA?
  • And so much more!
Follow Lindsey on Instagram and Twitter and be sure to listen to her funny lifestyle podcast “Eyes Up Here with Lindsey Pelas.” Also look out for her upcoming restaurant, Sugar Taco.

TECHNICALLY DATING (36:02)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should you focus on school or a relationship?
  • How to deal with a flaky Tinder match

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (39:18)

BBC Released a video calling dating apps “pathalogical” and “narcissistic.” Damona responds. 

YOU NEED A PLAN TO MEET YOUR MAN

Ladies – If you feel exhausted, frustrated, and overwhelmed with dating today, it’s time for a change. You can go about dating the way you did in 2018 but let’s face it, doing the same thing will probably get you the same results. You need a plan. You need a plan to meet your man. It’s all inside The 30 Day Dating Playbook program which is available for you now at MeetYourManin30Days.com. Get your copy today!  

 

What’s Your Plan to Meet Your Man?

HOT TIP: THIS WEEK IS THE BIGGEST ONLINE DATING WEEK OF THE YEAR!

Today could be the day that everything changes. If you are frustrated with your dating options and you want this year to be different, you NEED to do something different. You need a plan to meet your man

I GOT YOU. 

Sure, you can go about dating the same way you did last year but if that means it will be full of more frustration, wasted time on dates or worse yet – no dates at all, something has to change. Let’s make your 2018 dating disasters a thing of the past.

This week dating sites and apps, like Match, are seeing a HUGE INCREASE in new users and they’re logging on right now hoping to meet a woman like you. You can read about it here

That’s why I’m doing a one-time-only women’s group call on Thursday, January 10 to set you up for dating success this year. I’ll take you through the step-by-step through process that has lead dozens of my clients to find love. 

Join me on Thursday, January 10th at 4pm PT. I’m literally going to lay out a roadmap for you of:

  • Where to meet better quality matches (and it’s not just on dating apps or sites)
  • How to prepare for a first date so it will lead to a second
  • What you may have done last year to push romance away
  • How to design a dating plan that works for to meet your ideal match

This will be my most info-packed free call of the year and I promise that you will leave with at least 3 actions you can take to immediately shift your luck in love.

RSVP HERE FOR A FREE COACHING CALL ON THURSDAY, JANUARY 10TH AT 4PM PT. 

Addiction & Love

WHAT ARE THE RED FLAGS?

What are the signs you might be in love with a junkie? How do you get your partner help? Dr. Cali Estes, an addiction therapist and life coach, tells us the truth about addiction and love on this week’s episode. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:36)

The perfect day to kick off your dating game in 2019

Mark your calendars! According to Match, the best day to be online is Sunday, Jan 6th. Damona tells you why this is the best time to be online. 

Do you research your dates before you meet them?

According to a study done by JDP, 72% of people research their date before the first date. But is the behavior good for your date? Damona has thoughts.

The latest secret celebrity relationship

Spotted: Demi Lovato kissing her sober companion, Henry Levi, outside of Nobu last week. We had to call in the big guns for this one, people. Dr. Cali weighs in.

I MARRIED A JUNKIE (15:46)

Dr. Cali Estes is an Addiction Therapist and Life/Corporate Coach who specializes in harm reduction and utilizes holistic approaches to treat addiction, as well as mental conditions holding her clients back from reaching their full potential. She has over 20 years of experience working with drug, alcohol and food addictions.

Her unique no-nonsense approach of cognitive behavioral therapy, positive psychology and life coaching combine to provide the perfect support for an addict. Dr. Estes knows from personal experience the emotional and physical tolls that addiction takes on one’s psyche and physical well-being. We’re SO THANKFUL she joined us this week. We talked about A LOT:

  • The Signs that your loved one is a junkie (spoiler alert: They’re easy to miss)
  • What to do if your SO is a junkie
  • The best way to be supportive if your loved one is recovering
  • How to tell if a person is an addict from their dating app profile
  • How to tell if a person is recovering from their dating app profile
  • How to tell if a person is an addict when you’re on that first date
  • Are you an addict to sugar?
  • And so much more!

TECHNICALLY DATING (34:45)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

    • How do you avoid a co-dependent relationship?
    • How to get over the paranoia that your girlfriend is cheating on you
    • How to help your girlfriend get over her insecurities from her past relationship

STAY SEXY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

On average people gain 2-5 lbs over the holidays. You can fight to get it off in January or you can stop the holiday heaviness before it starts by beginning a program with Beach Body on demand. Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.