The Do’s and Don’ts of Singles Events
It’s no secret we’re a fan of dating apps here at Dates & Mates. But if you’re craving some solid tips on how to date IRL, there are a few do’s and don’ts that will help you make a match the next time you’re at a singles event. Damona was an integral part of launching the Match app’s Stir live singles event series. In the process, Damona did some field research – she observed trends and then asked daters what they were looking for, what their biggest turn-offs were, and what would particularly catch their attention at a mixer.
THE DO’s
- Approach them — Most people will be impressed that you have the guts to talk to them first. And everyone is there to meet new people, so what’s the worst that could happen? You don’t need a bold opener at an event designed for singles to meet. A simple, “Hi, my name is ___, what’s yours?” will do.
- Give them the “signals” — If you like them, be sure to S.E.T. it up: smile, make eye contact and even use appropriate casual touch like a playful bat on the arm to indicate interest. . Kindness, compliments, and laughter will also take you much further at a singles event than sarcastic, self-deprecating remarks or negging (when pick-up artists put someone down to get their attention)
- Be accessible – Many times we feel the need to run for the tables and plant ourselves down so we don’t have to stand around feeling awkward. But if you take a lap every 20-30 minutes, you might catch someone’s eye who you didn’t initially notice.
- Clear follow-through— The norm has become, “We should hang out again,” or “I’ll message you” and never doing it. So even the slightest amount of clarity and follow-through will give you an edge on meeting new people. Make a specific plan to text, call, or go out and then make good on that promise.
THE DON’TS
- Crowding around “The Hot Girl/Guy” — By all means, try to get their attention; but that doesn’t mean ignoring all other potential matches in the meantime. Just because everyone is vying for their attention doesn’t mean they’re the best match for YOU.
- Getting lost in your group — It’s common for people to attend a singles mixer with friends, but remember you’re there to meet potential matches. If you aren’t ready to fly solo, that’s totally okay. Try to make an agreement with your friends to split up for a good chunk of the party and meet new people
- Dressing too casually — Most times, the folks who really “show up” in their appearance leave with the most interest. People at a mixer will take notice when you put even a little effort into how you look. A sexy pair of shoes, a shorter skirt, or a sharp jacket can make a difference in catching someone’s eye and showing that you’ve dressed to impress.
- Being rude or dismissive – If someone has worked up the courage to speak with you, don’t roll your eyes or immediately dismiss them. Not only is it bad dating karma but you also might unintentionally turn off someone else who was considering approaching you but doesn’t want to get shot down like the last person.
Navigating the singles mixer is an art that you can hone with each event you attend. So just like going to the gym, when you stay motivated, consistent, and positive, you get the results you’re seeking and master how to date IRL in no time.