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The Game of Desire & Dating With Dominance

HOW TO WIN THE GAME OF DESIRE

Season 7 is HERE!

Modern love has changed DRASTICALLY since I first started the Dates & Mates Podcast 7 years ago but I’m committed to continuing to keep you up to speed on the latest news, tip, and techniques in the dating game.

Speaking of dating, do you ever feel like finding love is just game of cat & mouse between men and women?

Then you’ll want to hear from, SHAN BOODY, sexologist and intimacy expert behind The Game of Desire. She performed a study on how to come out on top in the game of love. Can you actually learn to be more attractive?

Apparently you can! Her book, The Game of Desire is revolutionary in so many ways and I’m thrilled to finally have her on the show after watching her business grow the last couple of years.

We give you the skinny on:

High Interest Playmates vs Low Interest Playmates
Tips to becoming your most desireable self
Dating Studies & Stats you NEED to know
Shan’s 5 Step Program for becoming your most desireable self
Should you ask your ex for a “Relationship Yelp Review”?

If you haven’t already shared Dates & Mates with a friend, now is the time! I have a goal of doubling our reach this season so we can help more people and heal more hearts.

Make sure you and a friend are both subscribed to Dates & Mates this season on your favorite podcast platform so you don’t miss any of the info-rich, entertaining episodes that I have lined up for you this season.

DATES & MATES DEALS: START DATING NOW!

Damona will announce details about her 30 Day Dating Playbook Program re-release on the show later this month. If you want to get into this premium online-led dating course, The 30 Day Dating Playbook Program, CLICK HERE to get on the early interest list for a special deal.

via GIPHY

Peacocking & Awkward Consent

ARE THE NEW RULES OF CONSENT ACTUALLY MAKING DATING DIFFICULT?

Continuing with the theme of the week on Dates & Mates, we’re talking about how consent has evolved immensely in the last year.

Joining us to break it down is Erin Tillman, AKA The Dating Advice Girl!

DATING DISH (2:30)

Your mindset is preventing you from finding love

New research on the science of relationships shows that people who are looking for their “predestined match” have a harder time finding love. Damona and Erin have some conflicting feelings about this one.

The ONLY way to get over a breakup

According to Cosmo, the No Contact Rule is the only way to get over a breakup. Damona and Erin explain.

Is he a peacocking pick up artist?

Erin educates us on one of the biggest tricks in a pickup artist’s book.

CONSENT: THE NEW NORM (22:00)

Do you have to ask consent to kiss someone?

How do you ask consent without making it awkward?

WHAT EVEN IS CONSENT???

These awkward conversations are now more necessary than ever. We also talk:

Healthy relationship timelines
Comparing yourself to other relationships
The signs they’re ready for commitment
And so much more!

Don’t miss Erin’s book, The Consent Guidebook! Packed with tons of GREAT info.

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TECHNICALLY DATING (37:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

How can I have an easier time in an interracial relationship in the future?
Have you found that cheating is just a commonplace thing now?
What is the secret to dating in Atlanta as a successful woman? Dating apps haven’t been fruitful.

DATES & MATES DEALS: #KEEPITCUTE

For your next date or special event, Glamsquad will get you all glammed up! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 OFF your first service with my special code Damona20!

How To Flirt & Improv Games

DIDYA KNOW YOU CAN LEARN TO FLIRT?

Today, on my second episode in the Summer Love Series, I share 5 fun exercises that can improve your flirting game instantly.

If you followed my first TV series, #BlackLove, you might remember that I used improv techniques to teach the women how to flirt. Here’s a peek:

Flirting Coaching with Damona from Damona on Vimeo.

The show just showed the highlights, but on Dates & Mates today, you get the full experience of what a flirting coaching session with me is like.

For today’s demo I’m joined by two experienced improvisers Marquis Olison & Nicky Urban (whose improv group was just on America’s Got Talent last week.) With me, they demonstrate how improv can make flirting fun. I know it sounds CRAZY but I promise if you listen and try out some of the exercises, you flirt game will never be the same.

Here’s the rundown:

Why improv? (2:30)

How men can impress women in today’s world (5:30)

Yes, And (9:00)

What you can learn from Yes, And & How to replicate (12:00)

How to build energy on a date (13:30)

Accepting someone’s reality (17:00)

Mirroring & How to tell if someone is intelligent (18:30)

Embrace The Weird (23:00)

Missing this week’s headlines?

Damona’s got you! Watch for Damona’s IGTV today for this week’s headlines on: All of the Hollywood Heartbreak this week (spoiler alert: lots of Hollywood exes made headlines), learning your dating app score, and how to stand out on dates in big cities.

Master Class: First Dates

SUMMER LOVE

Lovers, it’s the first official week of summer! Welcome to the first official episode of the Dates & Mates Summer Love Series.

The topic this week? First Dates.

First dates are the foundation of every great relationship. The tone and the rules you set at the beginning will follow you into the relationship or squash the potential for one to develop. In this master class, Damona tells you how to plan the perfect first date. Here’s the rundown:

Why are first dates so important? (1:30)

Should I google my date before I go? (2:00)

The Phone Call (4:00)

What should wear on a first date? (8:00)

What’s a good thing to do on a first date? (13:00)

How long should a first date be? (16:00)

7 Date Ideas BETTER THAN A DINNER DATE (21:00)

STILL HAVE QUESTIONS?

Get Damona’s First Date Starter Kit. You get advice on:

The one thing you should ALWAYS always ALWAYS do before a first date.
How to ensure a second date if you like the person you’re on a first date with
And conversation tips to make sure it never falls flat or feels boring – crucial first date advice
It also has an audio program that shows you 7 different ways to make a match and how to maximize their effectiveness
This is perfect for anyone who feels like they’re burnt out on dating apps and need new ways to meet people
Or if you feel like you’re doing everything you can to make a match but it’s simply not working
This concise program is packed with actionable advice and in it I will teach you all the steps that I’ve used with my clients over the last 13 years to bring them more dates, and better quality dates
And all the crucial steps you need to take before, during, and after to set yourself up for dating success.
Do all the people you like on a first date never seem to call again?
Do you find yourself getting tongue-tied or overwhelmed on a first date?
Are you bored with your first dates and feeling like you’re running out of options?

Get your First Date Starter Kit at FirstDateStarterKit.Com

Race & Dating

MAKE THE FIRST MOVE TODAY!

Many men and women feel invisible in today’s dating climate. Studies show that dating app algorithms can sometimes inadvertently limit dating pools by only showing matches of the same race.

This causes a huge problem for daters who are being left out of these dating pools – primarily Black women and Asian men.

So how do you find the love of your life when you feel constantly rejected?

To break it down, I’m joined this week by ABCs of Attraction founder and the US #1 Asian Dating Coach, JT Tran. Known for his confidence-inspiring methods, JT focuses on helping men overcome stereotypes and internalized racism that may be preventing them from finding love.

JT has taught his approach at many prestigious universities such as Harvard, Yale, and Wharton and now, he drops some SERIOUS knowledge on Dates & Mates!

D’S DATING DISH

Is marriage obsolete?

It’s no secret that marriage is changing. But is marriage even relevant by today’s standards? Damona and JT add their two cents to The Cut’s series on exploring marriage.

Have you broken the girl code?

Plenty of Fish gives us these Unspoken Dating Rules. Damona and JT have thoughts.

Who is Leo DiCaprio dating and why should you care?

This picture shows us that Leo has a very limited age range in which he dates. Why should you care? Damona and JT discuss.

Race & Dating

First, if you feel like you are the last person picked in your dating pool, you need to understand your worth is not tied to what others think of you.

“It’s important to have and be able to generate your own value and self-worth intrinsically inside of you as opposed to finding your worth in other people,” JT says.

Secondly, take it upon yourself to challenge the dating norms around you. JT teaches his clients to get rid of their fear of rejection and make the first move.

Get in the game and make conversations today!

We tell you how to make that first move and talk about so much more on today’s episode:

Starting a conversation: Is it different for men vs women?
Getting over your anxiety of rejection
How does one cross over to dating other races?
Dating for immigrants: everything your mom told you was wrong
Overcoming blatant racism in dating

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

How does one cross over to dating other races?
What’s with getting ghosted?
How do you stand out at a single mixer?

Valentines & Love in 90 Days

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T STRESS ABOUT VALENTINES DAY

Are you facing another Valentine’s Day single? It’s not too late to change your luck in love. Damona specializes in helping people get unstuck in love fast and so does our co-host for this week, Dr. Diana Kirschner. In this very special Valentine’s Day episode we get you answers on how to change your dating destiny! Here’s the rundown:

LOVE IN 90 DAYS (1:41)

You may know Dr. Diana Kirschner from her PBS show or her best selling book, Love in 90 Days. Love in 90 Days has changed so many lives over the past 10 years that Dr. Diana has updated, re-released, packed it with even more advice on how to find love fast.

Dr. Diana’s three steps to finding love in 90 Days
Where most people go wrong in dating
Identifying self-sabotaging patterns that prevent you from finding love
Finding Self Confidence & Self Worth
Diamond Self Identity & The Radiant Beacon of Loving Guidance
Dating three people at once
How to make sure you don’t miss “The One”
And so much more!

Get the book and $1000 worth of BONUS content at LoveIn90Days.com

TECHNICALLY DATING (18:41)

This week we coach singles LIVE on air! We gave so much good advice so TAKE NOTES:

Why do we put so much pressure on our dates?
Where do you find people who won’t ghost you?
What do you do when someone wants to commit too fast?

Thank you to Marquis, Deb, and Lauren for coming into the studio and allowing us to give them guidance! Marquis, Deb, and Lauren are SINGLE and READY TO MINGLE, Ladies and Gents. Slide in those DMs!!

(But def use a better opening line than this^)

And don’t forget to submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show!

SPREAD THE LOVE THIS VALENTINE’S WEEK

A HUGE THANK YOU to Apple Podcasts for featuring us on the front page this week! We are one of a handful of podcasts included in their Valentine’s Week “In the Mood for Love” playlist! Do you love the Dates & Mates Podcast? If you do, please take a moment to REVIEW & SUBSCRIBE! The more subscribers and reviews we get, the longer we can continue to give all of this great dating content for free!

SUBSCRIBE HERE!

ARE YOU MISSING ALL THE GOOD MATCHES ONLINE?

There are millions of people on dating apps worldwide. If you’re not finding love there, your profile may be the problem. Use Damona’s FREE guide to creating the ultimate MAGNETIC online dating profile. Get the Profile Starter Kit at profilestarterkit.com

Breakups & Quitting By Design

BABY DON’T HURT ME, NO MORE

To close out this #DivorceMonth2019 we talked all about breakups and quitting relationships. Breakups are a pretty heavy topic so Damona called in reinforcements. Enter Lynn Marie Morski, self professed “professional quitter” and Jonathon Aslay, Midlife dating and relationships coach. We talked about A LOT today. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:24)

Your New Matchmaker revealed: Your DNA

New dating app Pheramor matches you with your DNA. Is this the answer to finding love now? Damona and Jonathon discuss.

The TRUTH behind your romantic type

Meghan Markle seems to be pretty different from Prince Harry’s other girlfriends, right? Wrong. According to foot analysts, all of Prince Harry’s girlfriends have the exact same (very specific) foot feature. Damona and Jonathon tell us what this means for you with the help of science.

Channing on life as a single dad

This Divorce Month, Channing Tatum is being the best dad he can be and trying to find a good balance with ex-wife, Jenna Dewan nee Tatum. Is he doing a good job? Damona has thoughts.

Quitting By Design (14:00)

There are lots of steps to a breakup – even when you haven’t been in a relationship for very long. How do you sort through all the BS and make the best decision for you?

Lynn Marie Morski has quit several times in her life. She is a physician, attorney, speaker, author, and the Founder of Quitting By Design, Lynn Marie is on a mission to help people carve out a successful life through strategic quitting to inform your life’s true purpose and path which led her to write her new book, ‘Quitting by Design.’ We talked about A LOT:

Deciding to quit
The 5 step quitting process
Fears of quitting & quitting fears
Logistics of quitting
NO GHOSTING!
Sunk Cost Fallacy & “I’ve invested so much time!”
And so much more!

TECHNICALLY DATING (40:20)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

Should your boyfriend have to deal with your family drama?
What to say when you don’t want a second date

STAY SEXY IN 2019

Get back in shape after the holiday by beginning a program with Beach Body on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

Cuffing Season & Swipe With Spirit

#CUFFINGSEASON IS HERE!

If you’re looking to cuddle up with a new boo this fall, we have tips to make that relationship last through Valentine’s Day and beyond. Dominique Clark – Relationship Guru, Author, and Media Personality – joins today’s episode and gives us tips on how to find a quality match in these colder months. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:12)

The best way to find out what your ex thinks of you

Katie Miller, a 21 year old college student, went viral this week with the exit survey she sends to all of her dates. Would you send something like this to your dates? This isn’t our style, but it definitely gets the job done.

Surprising secret to a happy relationship from Kaley Cuoco

The Big Bang Theory’s Kaley Cuoco stresses the importance of independence in her relationship in this month’s interview with Women’s Health. However, some of her advice may go a little too far. Damona has thoughts.

Sneaters Beware: we’re on to you

Have you ever gone on a date just for the free meal? MetroUK gives us the term for this: Sneating. When is sneating okay and how can you avoid sneaters? Damona and Producer Leah discuss.

#LevelUp (14:17)

The #LevelUpChallenge lives on! Ciara’s summer hit applies to your cuff game, too, ladies and gents. Damona and Dominique break down how you can level up this cuffing season on today’s episode. We talked about a lot:

Cuffing Season & Cuffing Buddies
Are men looking to be cuffed?
Being Single during the holidays
Our biology and human connection
Snack Relationships
Level Up and find a Quality Match
How to empower yourself to find a match
Perfection and Honesty
Getting to know someone and when to share
Texting
Long Distance Relationships & Making Plans

Dominique raises some really great points about perfection and honesty in this chat. Here is one of the many moments that we loved in this talk with Dominique:

TECHNICALLY DATING (28:01)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

Is it normal to have commitment issues?
When should you post pics of your partner on social media?
On what date should you have sex?

SWIPE WITH SPIRIT (41:50)

Damona has an important announcement! Listen for Damona’s new dating app method that is guaranteed to guide you towards the deepest love of your life.

Join the database or get advice from Dominique on her Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at DominiqueClark.com

Become a part of the Dates & Mates community at DatesandMates.com by picking your free ecourse – The Texting 10 Commandments (singles) or The 7-Day Relationship Bootcamp (couples).

Try Beach Body on Demand for free for 14-days by clicking the banner at DatesandMates.com

Super Mamas & Relationship Standards

Super Mamas Podcast host Paulina Lopez and guest co-host psychotherapist Rhonda Richards-Smith join Damona to discuss how moms can still be sexy to their husbands. Rhonda takes on the headlines including: How dating apps have affected the rate of STDs, Aziz Ansari’s comedy in the #MeToo era, and how your relationship standards change once you’re couple up. Questions from listeners include: how to avoid strange requests on dating apps, should you see your ex again, and is it ok for your man to DM an instagram model?

D’S DATING DISH (4:21)

Dating apps blamed for rise in STDs

STDs are on the rise, with five times as many cases seen in the past four months when compared with the same time period last year. Apps such as Tinder and Bumble are facing blame, with syphilis being the STD increasing the most rapidly. You can read more via NY Post here.

Aziz Ansari returns to standup with dating routine

Both Aziz Ansari and Louis C.K. returned to standup this week after being implicated in the #MeToo movement. Ansari avoided mention of the accusations against him, despite the fact the set was structured around dating. Is this tasteless? Can he make a comeback? You can read more via NME here.

How your relationship standards change

A new study proves that your relationship expectations change before and after you enter a relationship. It proved that those who took the survey while in a relationship ranked their current partner closer to their ideal than those who took the survey single and entered into a relationship a few months later. You can read more via Bustle here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (38:35)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

How to avoid strange messages on dating apps
If it’s OK to see your ex again

And many more . . .

Try FabFitFun.com and get $10 off your first box with the code DatesandMates

Join the list to get invited to Damona’s private coaching calls at DatesandMates.com. Register for your free dating or relationship e-course Relationship Bootcamp or The Texting 10 Commandments to subscribe.

Follow Damona on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook

Follow Rhonda on IG

Check out the Super Mamas Podcast and follow Paulina on IG @iampaulinalopez

Bossip TV & The Tinder Trick

We TV’s Bossip TV hosts Danielle ‘Dani’ Canada & Alana Danielle Gatling hit the headlines with Damona including the Tinder social experiment that swept NYC, Bumble Bizz & Bumble BFF, and the engagement of Priyanka Chopra & Nick Jonas (which Dates & Mates predicted back in episode 220). Questions from listeners include how to Facebook sleuth on your man and how much makeup a woman should wear to a date.

D’S DATING DISH (2:30)

Dozens of men tricked into a dating competition

Last week, a Tinder user named Natasha Aponte coordinated a massive meeting of those she matched with on Tinder in Union Square. Those men that stayed participated in a literal competition where the winner allegedly got to go on a date with her. Apparently done as a commentary on modern dating, do you think this went too far? You can read more via CBS News here.

You can now turn off dating mode on Bumble

Bumble Biz and Bumble BFF have been around for a minute now, but you can now elect to turn off the dating portion of the app entirely, making it clear you’re only there for professional or platonic connection. You can read more via PopSugar here.

Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra confirm engagement

We called it! Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra have officially announced their engagement, rumored to have sealed the deal sometime last month. You can read more via NJ.com here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (31:35)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

What to do if your fiance was messaging another woman
If you should wear makeup when meeting a guy for the first time

And many more . . .

DATING DOT DOT DOT (47:36)

We got Monique’s lightning fast love advice in another installment of Dating Dot Dot

_________ is always sexy
_________ is never sexy
The biggest red flag on a dating profile is_________
The most common first date mistake is _________
The most important quality in a wife is_________
The most important quality in a husband is _________

Try FabFitFun.com and get $10 off your first box with the code DatesandMates

Visit DatesandMates.com for your free dating or relationship e-course. Pick the one that fits your relationship status!

Follow Dani on IG

Follow Alana on IG

Follow Damona on IG

Catch Bossip TV Thursdays on We TV at 10 p.m. ET.

Marriage Secrets & Out of Your League

On this episode, storyteller Shannon Cason (Homemade Stories & WBEZ Chicago’s The Trouble with Shannon Cason) joins with his wife Cindy to share the secrets that almost tore their marriage apart and how they’ve weathered the relationship storms. Plus, Relationship Scientist Ryeal Simms handles the headlines with Damona including how dating apps can score you a job, the impact of working from home on your relationship, and Iggy Azalea’s whiplash dating week. Questions from listeners include how long your engagement should last and how to get a guy who is out of your league.

D’S DATING DISH (3:36)

Can dating apps help you land a job?

Many millennials are turning to dating apps to find a job these days, with it not being too uncommon for freelancers to get hired after two dates, or at least recommended. And honestly, why not! As long as you’re transparent that you’re looking for professional connections, it seems like an interesting way to boost your chances of finding work. You can read more via ABC News here.

Checking emails after work harms a relationship

We all have some anxiety, but even opening up an email to glance at after work can create the sense of “work without boundaries” and increase our stress tenfold. This can effect partners, children, and friends as they see the psychological effects of never “turning off.” You can read more via the Independent here.

Iggy Azalea’s whirlwind week

Last week Iggy Azalea confirmed she was dating Texans wide receive DeAndre Hopkins, only to Tweet out she was single again the next day. Both seemed a little affected, Azalea sharing Tweets about how she’ll always be single and Hopkins getting into a fight in his game the next day, but Azalea is already rumored to have been spotted with Tyga. You can read more via USA today here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (32:19)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

The appropriate length of time to wait to get married
What to do if your child finds a sex toy in your room

And more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:28)

Damona got a little serious on this week’s diatribe, but she’s been seeing a lot of people putting all of their emotional weight behind relationships lately, so much so that they saying they want to die when a relationship ends. She took to the mic to give some words of encouragement and offer resources for those who are truly depressed.

Follow Cindy Cason @JacindaCason

Follow Shannon Cason @ShannonCason and check out the podcasts Homemade Stories and The Trouble with Shannon Cason.

Visit AdamandEve.com and use the promo code GIFT21 for free gifts and free shipping.

Get on our mailing list and claim your free dating or relationship e-course at DatesandMates.com

Find more from Ryeal Simms at RelationshipScientistRyeal.com

If you or anyone you know is facing feelings of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

To get your question answered on a future show, download the Textpert App, email Damona or leave us a voicemail at 424-246-6255

Summer Date Ideas & FWB Feelings

We’re so excited to be back! On our return episode, International Matchmaker Jessica Fass joined Damona in studio along with Producer J to share great summer date ideas to heat things up in love while the weather is still warm. Headlines include: harsh criticism for The Bachelor and dating shows in the era of #MeToo, what your date’s texting habits mean, and Facebook’s new dating app. Plus questions from listeners like what do you do if you are catching feelings for a friend with benefits (FWB) and how you can get a $1000 loan back from someone you broke up with.

D’S DATING DISH (3:36)

What can you tell about your date from their texting habits?

On average, millennials reach out to their date within two days after a date ends if they’re interested in pursuing things further. This checks out, as 89% of single women say they want to be contacted within that time frame. That age-old adage of the three-day rule has fallen by the wayside, with only six percent of single ladies still holding by it. You can read more via Elite Daily here.

Is it time to retire dating shows in the #MeToo era?

The Bachelor and Bachelorette have changed, with unceremonious dumping and accusations of contestants being sex offenders; that’s not even to mention the mess that is the recent show The Proposal. In the #MeToo era, are these examples of entertainment outdated? Perhaps the combination of alcohol, producer pressure, and exploitation should no longer be considered viable. You can read more via USA Today here.

Facebook has started internal testing of its dating app

Two months after announcing its launch, Facebook has begun testing its dating app among its employees. US Facebook employees currently have access to the beta, although the company has asked them to make fake profiles that will be deleted upon public launch. You can read more via The Verge here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:46)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

How to handle a friends with benefits situation
How to deal with an ex who owes you a sizable sum of money

And more . . .

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP (46:51)

In this segment, we brainstorm as to who would best fit a celebrity looking for love. Up this week was Selena Gomez. Tune in to see who we think she should be looking out for!