Dating Style & Boyfriends of Instagram

Our guest co-host this week was Rayne Parvis. Rayne is a certified personal stylist and style coach working with clients all over the world. She’s the author of the book Ultimate Guide to Style: From Drab to Fab.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:13)

Women want a body type only 14% of men have

Though men are notorious for being difficult when it comes to ideal body types, it turns out that 86% of women are going around disappointed with how their partner looks! A new study show that the overwhelming majority of women want a man six feet or taller, with only 4% of women saying they’d date a partner shorter than them. You can read more via Revelist here.

We’ve already made “Tillerson-ing” a dating term

Last Tuesday, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson learned he was out of a job by reading President Trump’s Twitter. People immediately took to social media to share their own stories of “Tillerson-ing” in a relationship. Have you ever been “Tillerson-ed”? Read more via Mashable here.

Iggy Azalea says she’s done dating rapper

Rapper Iggy Azalea recently said there’s room for only one rapper in a relationship and she’s already filling that role loud and proud. That being said, she shared some of her concerns about “being 35 and single.” You can read more via Billboard here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (31:23)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • What to do if your boyfriend tries to hack your Instagram
  • How to handle the fact you only attract men who are interested in sex
  • How to handle the fact your lesbian friend invited you to Pride even though you don’t want to go

And many more . . .

ROMANCE ROLLBACK (48:20)

If you’re having trouble finding luck in love, you could always give this ancient Irish love spell a try. The Irish have long been notorious for their magick and spellcasting due to their Celtic heritage, and have a high percentage of Wiccans. Here’s what you’ll need:

  • 5 cups of clovers
  • 4 cups of salt
  • 2 green candles
  • 2 white candles
  • 2 red candles
  • 1 carving utensil
  • 1 lighter or match
  • 1 piece of paper
  • 1 sealable container
  • 1 picture of the target lover
  • 1 picture of yourself
  • 1 piece of string

Draw a circle around you with the salt, laying the clovers on top. Then, carve a heart into all six candles. Carve your initials and a Celtic knot into the GREEN candles. Carve your lover’s initials and date of birth into ONE of the red candles. Then carve YOUR initials and dates of birth into the other red candle.

Light the white candles and chant “The Irish survive and thrive and I call them to thy circle” both times you light a candle.

Light the green candles and chant “The power of the Irish is alive to strive. Bless Thy Circle with the Powers of the Irish Eyes” both times you light a candle

Fold the two photos evenly together

Light the red candles

Wrap the two photos together while chanting “Spin thy heart to thou soul and thy soul to thou heart. With the Irish Eyes Blessed It Be”

Place the wrapped photos into the container, pour the clovers over them, and say “I infuse our bond with the power of the Irish forever!” three times

Meditate for three minutes

Pour the wax of all the candles into the container

Seal the container and keep it until the spell has manifested

For style consultations and tips visit Rayne Parvis at StylebyRayne.com

Get one week of online dating free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

 


Feminism & Dating

Our guest co-host this week was Clarissa Silva. Clarissa Silva is a behavioral scientist, researcher, and relationship coach with 17 years of experience in mental health, behavioral science, and public health. She’s the creator of the Your Happiness Hypothesis method, which provides science-based solutions to the woes of modern dating.

 

D’S DATING DISH (3:40)

Why going on too many dates can prevent you from finding love

The symptoms of over-dating are sweeping through the dating world, with anything more than two dates a week considered an example. Over-dating can lead to desensitization, a pursuit of something you’ll never realistically be able to get, and can prevent a real connection from occurring. But controversially, mathematician Hannah Fry says you should reject the first 37% people you date if you want to find the perfect one. What’s one to do? You can read more via Independent UK here.

Blac Chyna confirms she’s dating someone much younger

Blac Chyna was recently spotted with 18-year-old rapper YBN Almighty Jay. They were recently spotted hopping into a Ferrari, with Blac Chyna confirming they’re an item. However, he’s a decade younger than her and can’t even legally drink. Is it doomed to fail? You can read more via BET here.

Women are all about making the first move, and it’s leading to love

Invite-only dating app The League analyzed 100 couples who have been dating for more than one year, and one out of every three straight couples started with the woman messaging first. The stats don’t lie, and when a woman contacts a man first, 30 percent of those messages turn into a conversation. You can read more via Bravo here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (30:05)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • What to do if you love a man’s personality but aren’t attracted to him
  • How to handle a girlfriend sending nudes to another guy
  • What to do with an ex that won’t leave you alone on social media

And many more . . .

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP (46:02)

Brad Pitt has been in the headlines as of late thanks to the Oscars, so the Dates and Mates team thought that we’d do him a favor and offer our expertly curated picks of potential bachelorettes.

Find Clarissa’s relationship coaching at ClarissaSilva.com

Get one week of online dating free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

 


Better Sex & Interracial Emojis

Our guest co-host this week was Kongit Farrell. Kongit Farrell is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of the Inspired Journey Counseling Center in Los Angeles. She worked as a coach and therapist for nine years and she also worked in the First Lady’s Office of Communication in the White House. 

 

D’S DATING DISH (14:50)

Red flags to watch out for when dating someone younger

Damona was recently featured in Elite Daily with a whole bunch of tips for those in this potentially sticky situation. Most importantly, take note of if your younger partner seems preoccupied with your career or connections, if your sex drives aren’t in sync, or if they haven’t integrated you into their life. Read the full article via Elite Daily here.

Jennifer Aniston has had enough of sex and dating

Aniston just recently split from her beau Justin Theroux, and claims that all she’s interested in is “Me Time.” Although a Hollywood heartthrob, she’s not even interested in anything in terms of the bedroom. Any eligible sutiors out there? You can read more via Hollywood Life here.

Tinder users are more open to interracial dating

Of more than 4,000 people surveyed, 72% said that Tinder was the most diverse dating app and 80% said that they’ve been on an interracial date before. What do you think? Do you think online dating is diversifying the dating pool? You can read more via BuzzFeed here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (28:52)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to deal with your significant other’s conservative parents
  • What to do when you’re not sure if it’s cool to invite someone to a wedding
  • How to turn away a persistent guy who is making you uncomfortable

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:25)

Every once in awhile Damona has something to get off her chest, and this week was no exception. Up this time on the chopping block: the lack of effort in guys’ dating profiles today. Tune in to see what she had to say.

The Power of Being Single & Level Up in Love

Our guest co-host this week was Cheyenne Bostock, a life coach, relationship expert, motivational speaker, and author of four best-selling books. A writer for the Huffington Post and a regular contributing expert on The Bill Cunningham Show, Cheyenne has been featured everywhere from ABC to FOX to Fusion TV. Cheyenne sat with us to talk about the Power of Being Single and help give advice to listeners in Technically Dating.

D’S DATING DISH (2:48)

How “Me Too” is Affecting Dating Lives

MTV conducted extensive research last month about how the #MeToo movement is affecting dating. 85% of users said it’s starting an important conversation, with one in four women saying they’ve noticed a change in behavior among men. However, 68% admitted that the lines are getting blurry about what does and does not constitute sexual harassment. What do you think? You can read more via Bustle here.

How Much Time are Millennials Spending on Dating Apps?

Over 5,000 18-30 year olds were studied. Men spend a whopping 85 minutes a day on dating apps, roughly 10 minutes per session, with women logging in for a total of 10 times a day. Especially with January seeing a 23% increase in users, is this only limited to millennials? How long do you spend on dating apps a day? You can read more via Independent UK here.

Ciara Tells Women to Level Up

Singer Ciara recently came under fire for reposting a clip from a sermon directed towards women. In it, a pastor tells women that they have to “level up” and start carrying themselves as a wife and not a girlfriend. Considering Ciara’s tumultuous relationship past, was she out of line for telling others how to live their lives? You can read more via Yahoo here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (23:28)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to overcome your nerves and ask out your crush
  • How to stop stalking your ex’s social media
  • What to do if a guy tells you he’s single but his social media says otherwise

And many more . . .

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP (43:27)

It’s been awhile since we’ve done the Hollywood Hookup, but when we heard Michael B. Jordan recently confirmed that he’s single, we had to jump in! Damona and Producer Thomas think Rihanna, Janelle Monae, and Priyanka Chopra would all look good with the star of the upcoming Marvel film Black Panther. What do you think?

 

Get 1 week free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

Download your free dating or relationship course at damonahoffman.com

Top Dating Profile Tips

Whether you’re new to online dating or a veteran user, an amazing profile is always the key to digital dating success. Here are my top dating profile tips that can take you from a left swipe to an amazing night.

  1. A LITTLE PHOTO MAGIC –Photo editing is only controversial if you are actually changing the way you look. However, most people now add filters, adjust lighting, exposure, sharpness or contrast or otherwise improve photo quality so if you’re not doing it, you could be left standing on the sidelines. One simple trick to make yourself stand out is to crop out anyone else in the photo. If you crop it yourself, you can control where the eye goes and make sure it doesn’t wander to your very attractive friend standing next to you.
  2. SMILE FOR THE CAMERA – You’re on instagram daily and you post pics of your girlfriends at the bar every weekend so the old, “I don’t have any pics I can use for my profile” excuse isn’t going to fly anymore. Take the next three days and go on a photo spree. Get solo pics of you using the 3Cs: color, context, and character and you’re bound to start turning heads.
  3. TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT – Most of my clients come to me with a profile that talks more about what they don’t want than what they do. Eliminate any demands about what your new partner must do or cannot do and cut the rants about how you’re tired of getting emails from losers. You might be turning the good guys off along with the bad.
  4. BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU – Studies have shown that you are more likely to be messaged if your profile is a total turnoff to some yet intriguing to others than if you have a safe, middle-of-the road profile. Don’t be afraid to show off your quirky, nerdy, or goofy side. That could be the just the thing that makes someone sit up and take notice of you.
  5. MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS–A couple of pounds, inches, or years of age do not really matter in the long run. In your searches, you should be more open so that you can decide if someone is worth pursuing once the email comes in.
  6. MAKE EVERY WORD COUNT– The only thing worse than a profile that is bare is a profile that could double as a novel. Thin out your profile and make it more readable by starting with a headline for each key part of your life that you want to dedicate a sentence to.

Now, log on, make these simple changes, and get ready to hit the town! These tips are not meant to change who you are; they are meant to make it easier for potential dates to see through to the real you. So, be confident and have fun!