BONUS: Singles in America
The Feminist Dating Revolution is HERE
Surprise! We dropped a new bonus episode to break down Match’s 2019 Singles In America Study.
Here are some important takeaways:
Tag Archive for: dating advice
Take Charge in Dating: Read my advice on the Tinder Blog!
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9 Experts Share Their Very Best Piece of Online Dating Advice
Online dating is so ingrained in our cultural dating roadmap that it isn’t so much a question of whether you want to start online dating as when you’re going to give it a try. Maybe you’re just dipping your toe in the waters, maybe you’re back on apps after a breakup, or maybe you’ve been doing it forever and suspect you could be having a better time of it.
If you aren’t sure where to begin, what “rules” you’re supposed to follow, or are looking to get more matches, check out these nine experts’ number-one piece of advice for online dating. We could use all the help we can get, right?
Put yourself into a dating mindset
“When building your profile and looking for potential dates, your mindset should follow what you’d like the outcome to be. Whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship, a hookup, or something in between, let your mind consider the result you wish to achieve so that your profile vocabulary and tone match.” —Sunny Rodgers, ACS, clinical sexologist and certified sexual health educator
Don’t be timid
“Be entirely yourself rather than projecting a more muted version of yourself. The more that you show your personality, the more the other person gets an idea of what a relationship with you would be like. You might as well jump in immediately!” —Gabrielle Alexa, sex and dating writer
Be and put yourself first
“We all want a flattering photo that peaks the maximum number of people’s interest. Go ahead and choose that picture, but recognize that it’s a slippery slope. There is a temptation to create or communicate a [version of] you that, like an Instagram post, will garner the most likes. Do not contort yourself to fit what you presume others desire. In your mind, put your wants first. Use Tinder to communicate what you actually desire, so you can find someone you truly like.” —Wednesday Martin, Ph.D., author of “Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free”
Stop looking for your perfect match
“We know it sounds counterintuitive, but you read this right. Online dating makes it easy to filter people based on what’s worked for you before (or what hasn’t) and create an impossible mold of what you think is your perfect match. The problem is that eventually your matches all either seem to blend together and you lost interest, or you run out of options. Keep an open mind, and try [Liking] someone who isn’t your usual type. You might find that your ‘type’ isn’t as important as you thought.” —B+L, co-hosts of “Not Your Girlfriend’s Podcast”
Click here to read my advice!
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Master Class: First Dates
SUMMER LOVE
Lovers, it’s the first official week of summer! Welcome to the first official episode of the Dates & Mates Summer Love Series.
The topic this week? First Dates.
First dates are the foundation of every great relationship. The tone and the rules you set at the beginning will follow you into the relationship or squash the potential for one to develop. In this master class, Damona tells you how to plan the perfect first date. Here’s the rundown:
Why are first dates so important? (1:30)
Should I google my date before I go? (2:00)
The Phone Call (4:00)
What should wear on a first date? (8:00)
What’s a good thing to do on a first date? (13:00)
How long should a first date be? (16:00)
7 Date Ideas BETTER THAN A DINNER DATE (21:00)
STILL HAVE QUESTIONS?
Get Damona’s First Date Starter Kit. You get advice on:
- The one thing you should ALWAYS always ALWAYS do before a first date.
- How to ensure a second date if you like the person you’re on a first date with
- And conversation tips to make sure it never falls flat or feels boring – crucial first date advice
- It also has an audio program that shows you 7 different ways to make a match and how to maximize their effectiveness
- This is perfect for anyone who feels like they’re burnt out on dating apps and need new ways to meet people
- Or if you feel like you’re doing everything you can to make a match but it’s simply not working
- This concise program is packed with actionable advice and in it I will teach you all the steps that I’ve used with my clients over the last 13 years to bring them more dates, and better quality dates
- And all the crucial steps you need to take before, during, and after to set yourself up for dating success.
- Do all the people you like on a first date never seem to call again?
- Do you find yourself getting tongue-tied or overwhelmed on a first date?
- Are you bored with your first dates and feeling like you’re running out of options?
Get your First Date Starter Kit at FirstDateStarterKit.Com
What Women Want & Seeking Arrangement
Are you confused about what women want?
Evin Rose, dating and love life transformation coach for millennial women, co-hosts this week’s episode of Dates & Mates. Last week, we dove deep into the mind of men and figured out what the guys are really thinking. Now it’s the ladies’ turn! Today Damona and Evin sit down with a panel of single women to figure out what women really want. Here’s the rundown:
D’S DATING DISH
Why is it so hard to turn a Tinder date into a relationship?
Research from Michigan State University indicates that couples who meet online are 28% more likely to split up within a year. What makes these relationships different? What expectations should we have for Tinder dates? Damona and Evin discuss.
Put your best foot forward
Picking a first date outfit can be a lot of pressure. This week, MamaM!a published a few suggestions for your first date outfit. Damona and Evin give you some suggestions on how to show off your personality.
Are sugar babies bad for feminism?
SeekingArrangement now has over 3 million users worldwide and the numbers are growing. The average Sugar Baby is 25 and makes about 2800 a month from her Daddies. What are the biggest misconceptions about Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddy/Mommy relationships? Are these relationships actually empowering for Sugar Babies? Damona and Evin have thoughts.
WHAT A GIRL WANTS
Last week, the men told us what really goes on in their head. This week, the ladies got a turn. Today we sat down with Rebecca Bernard and Nelly Dennis to get some answers on what women really want. Here’s what we covered:
- Men on dating apps & the riffraffery
- The worst DMs
- Do you right swipe when you see someone you know?
- What do you do when married men proposition you?
- Pick Up Lines
- Courtship & Chivalry
- Should women make the first move?
- Who pays on the first date?
You know the drill, fellas. They’re single, ready to mingle, and open for DMs. (Please, no dick pics, thanks.)
TECHNICALLY DATING
Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here are the topics we answered this week:
- Should you tell your dates that you’re seeing other people?
- How do you ask your partner for a threesome?
- How to get over anxiety over asking women out.
DAMONA’S DIATRIBE
This week we remember Mac Miller and send condolences to his family, friends, and Ariana Grande. Today on Damona’s diatribe, Damona has a message for those who are in relationships with a person struggling with addiction.
Try FabFitFun.com and get $10 off your first box with the code DatesandMates
Join Damona’s Community of Love by choosing your free e-course at DatesandMates.com and you’ll get access to the exclusive group coaching calls for Dates & Mates listeners.
Follow Damona on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook
Follow Evin Rose on Instagram @EvinRose, join her FREE Empowered Dating Community on @EmpoweredDatingwithEvinRos or visit her site evinrosecoaching.com
Find Rebecca and Nelly on Instagram – DMs from smart, serious guys only – haha!
The Mind of Men & Dating App Stats
Hello Lovers, ever wonder what single men are thinking? We’re back this week and we brought answers!
Brett McGinn, hopeless (read: hopeful??) romantic and relationships guru of Love F*cking Sucks returns to co-host this week’s episode of Dates & Mates. Today Damona and Brett sit down with a panel of single men to get some REAL answers on what men want and we get one step closer to demystifying modern romance. Here’s the rundown:
D’S DATING DISH
Get a match with the help of statistics
It’s statistics season for the dating apps! OkCupid and Plenty of Fish took a peek at your profile and conversations and gave us the statistics on who gets the most matches. Today we explain what this means for you. Do you know that profiles with the OkCupid ACLU badge have 10% more conversations? How should you craft the perfect first DM? What emojis should you NEVER use in a DM?
The WORST kind of relationship for your health
Maybe Carrie & Mr. Big shouldn’t be your #relationshipgoals? Science Daily wants you to know that on again off again relationships are BAD for your mental health. Damona and Brett explain why.
John Krasinski is the best dad ever
This week, John Krasinski made headlines for parenting and working at the same time. Does he deserve all the praise he’s getting? We have thoughts.
WHAT SINGLE MEN WANT
This week we invited a panel of single men to give us insight into what they’re looking for. Today we covered:
- The best dating platforms
- How is the dating different after weight loss transformations?
- Why is everyone so bad at flirting?
- What qualities are attractive to men?
- Should you have a type?
- What is an automatic swipe left?
- Sex Parties & “Bill Clinton Intimacy”
- How do you know if a woman is different?
- Who pays for dates?
Ladies, they’re single, ready to mingle, and open for DMs. So slide away.
TECHNICALLY DATING
Here are the questions we answered:
- What are the best dating apps for men?
- Are premium memberships worth it?
- Should a lady have sex with her man – even if she’s not in the mood?
- How can you get your woman in the mood?
Try FabFitFun.com and get $10 off your first box with the code DatesandMates
Join the list to get invited to Damona’s private coaching calls at DatesandMates.com. Register for your free dating or relationship e-course Relationship Bootcamp or The Texting 10 Commandments to subscribe.
Follow Damona on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook
Follow Brett on Twitter @lovef_ckinsucks
DM Marquis for a date on Twitter @TheQuis
Summer Date Ideas & FWB Feelings
We’re so excited to be back! On our return episode, International Matchmaker Jessica Fass joined Damona in studio along with Producer J to share great summer date ideas to heat things up in love while the weather is still warm. Headlines include: harsh criticism for The Bachelor and dating shows in the era of #MeToo, what your date’s texting habits mean, and Facebook’s new dating app. Plus questions from listeners like what do you do if you are catching feelings for a friend with benefits (FWB) and how you can get a $1000 loan back from someone you broke up with.
D’S DATING DISH (3:36)
What can you tell about your date from their texting habits?
On average, millennials reach out to their date within two days after a date ends if they’re interested in pursuing things further. This checks out, as 89% of single women say they want to be contacted within that time frame. That age-old adage of the three-day rule has fallen by the wayside, with only six percent of single ladies still holding by it. You can read more via Elite Daily here.
Is it time to retire dating shows in the #MeToo era?
The Bachelor and Bachelorette have changed, with unceremonious dumping and accusations of contestants being sex offenders; that’s not even to mention the mess that is the recent show The Proposal. In the #MeToo era, are these examples of entertainment outdated? Perhaps the combination of alcohol, producer pressure, and exploitation should no longer be considered viable. You can read more via USA Today here.
Facebook has started internal testing of its dating app
Two months after announcing its launch, Facebook has begun testing its dating app among its employees. US Facebook employees currently have access to the beta, although the company has asked them to make fake profiles that will be deleted upon public launch. You can read more via The Verge here.
TECHNICALLY DATING (33:46)
We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:
- How to handle a friends with benefits situation
- How to deal with an ex who owes you a sizable sum of money
And more . . .
HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP (46:51)
In this segment, we brainstorm as to who would best fit a celebrity looking for love. Up this week was Selena Gomez. Tune in to see who we think she should be looking out for!
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Date for a Soulmate & Valentine’s Day
Our guest co-hosts this week were Orna and Matthew Walters, soulmate coaches for spiritual, successful, and single women who have everything . . . except the man of their dreams. Their breakthrough coaching program, Bring In Your Beloved, helps its practitioners remove blocks to love so you can love yourself and others more deeply. Love coaches who are actually in love, we were lucky enough to have them stick around to give our listeners some advice in Technically Dating after our interview.
D’S DATING DISH (3:10)
A guide to having “the talk” with the person you’re dating
We’ve all been in the position of dreading “the talk,” but luckily, the Washington Post has published a guide to hold your hand through the process. The key points are to remember to never force things and to make your intentions clear from the start, but you can read more via the link above.
The new rules for workplace romance
Facebook recently revealed their workplace dating policies, and thankfully, everyone was in agreement that they’re pretty fair! The big kicker? You only have one shot to ask a coworker out. If they reject you, it’s harassment if you ask them again. You can read more via Gizmodo here.
A surprising celebrity breakup
Alas, another Hollywood couple has bitten the dust. Sarah Silverman and boyfriend Michael Sheen called it quits over Christmas break and are just now making the news official. However, Sarah is keeping her trademark sense of humor about it, and we’re rooting for her as always. You can read more via ET here.
TECHNICALLY DATING (32:58)
We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:
- Good ideas for Valentine’s Day if you’re single
- How to handle a younger wife who’s getting attention from other men
- How to tell someone you need space
And many more . . .
Get 1 week free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/
Top Dating Profile Tips
Whether you’re new to online dating or a veteran user, an amazing profile is always the key to digital dating success. Here are my top dating profile tips that can take you from a left swipe to an amazing night.
- A LITTLE PHOTO MAGIC –Photo editing is only controversial if you are actually changing the way you look. However, most people now add filters, adjust lighting, exposure, sharpness or contrast or otherwise improve photo quality so if you’re not doing it, you could be left standing on the sidelines. One simple trick to make yourself stand out is to crop out anyone else in the photo. If you crop it yourself, you can control where the eye goes and make sure it doesn’t wander to your very attractive friend standing next to you.
- SMILE FOR THE CAMERA – You’re on instagram daily and you post pics of your girlfriends at the bar every weekend so the old, “I don’t have any pics I can use for my profile” excuse isn’t going to fly anymore. Take the next three days and go on a photo spree. Get solo pics of you using the 3Cs: color, context, and character and you’re bound to start turning heads.
- TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT – Most of my clients come to me with a profile that talks more about what they don’t want than what they do. Eliminate any demands about what your new partner must do or cannot do and cut the rants about how you’re tired of getting emails from losers. You might be turning the good guys off along with the bad.
- BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU – Studies have shown that you are more likely to be messaged if your profile is a total turnoff to some yet intriguing to others than if you have a safe, middle-of-the road profile. Don’t be afraid to show off your quirky, nerdy, or goofy side. That could be the just the thing that makes someone sit up and take notice of you.
- MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS–A couple of pounds, inches, or years of age do not really matter in the long run. In your searches, you should be more open so that you can decide if someone is worth pursuing once the email comes in.
- MAKE EVERY WORD COUNT– The only thing worse than a profile that is bare is a profile that could double as a novel. Thin out your profile and make it more readable by starting with a headline for each key part of your life that you want to dedicate a sentence to.
Now, log on, make these simple changes, and get ready to hit the town! These tips are not meant to change who you are; they are meant to make it easier for potential dates to see through to the real you. So, be confident and have fun!
