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Peacocking & Awkward Consent

ARE THE NEW RULES OF CONSENT ACTUALLY MAKING DATING DIFFICULT?

Continuing with the theme of the week on Dates & Mates, we’re talking about how consent has evolved immensely in the last year.

Joining us to break it down is Erin Tillman, AKA The Dating Advice Girl!

DATING DISH (2:30)

Your mindset is preventing you from finding love

New research on the science of relationships shows that people who are looking for their “predestined match” have a harder time finding love. Damona and Erin have some conflicting feelings about this one.

The ONLY way to get over a breakup

According to Cosmo, the No Contact Rule is the only way to get over a breakup. Damona and Erin explain.

Is he a peacocking pick up artist?

Erin educates us on one of the biggest tricks in a pickup artist’s book.

CONSENT: THE NEW NORM (22:00)

Do you have to ask consent to kiss someone?

How do you ask consent without making it awkward?

WHAT EVEN IS CONSENT???

These awkward conversations are now more necessary than ever. We also talk:

  • Healthy relationship timelines
  • Comparing yourself to other relationships
  • The signs they’re ready for commitment
  • And so much more!

Don’t miss Erin’s book, The Consent Guidebook! Packed with tons of GREAT info.

 

TECHNICALLY DATING (37:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How can I have an easier time in an interracial relationship in the future?
  • Have you found that cheating is just a commonplace thing now? 
  • What is the secret to dating in Atlanta as a successful woman? Dating apps haven’t been fruitful.

 

DATES & MATES DEALS: #KEEPITCUTE

For your next date or special event, Glamsquad will get you all glammed up! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 OFF your first service with my special code Damona20!

BONUS: Singles in America

The Feminist Dating Revolution is HERE

Surprise! We dropped a new bonus episode to break down Match’s 2019 Singles In America Study.

Here are some important takeaways:

This is the best time in history for a woman in love (3:00)

Did Me Too make dating more challenging? (4:00)

The stats say: men want women need to initiate more (5:45)

What women HAVE to do to prove they are an equal partner (6:30)

Marriage Boot Camp & Bad Advice

FIND LOVE IN THE AGE OF BAD ADVICE

Dating culture is changing rapidly. A lot of the advice our parents gave us starting out no longer applies in the dating climate today. So how do you know what dating tips still apply to you now?

Enter Dr. V. You may know her as the host of WeTV’s Marriage Boot Camp, but she’s also a PhD in Clinical Psychology, a renowned media personality, and now the bestselling author of “Bad Advice: How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bullshit”. She literally wrote the book on sorting through good and bad advice, people!

Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:45)

Facebook wants to know your secret crushes

Facebook dating is coming to the US! Is this the future of dating? Damona thinks so. 

The scientific way to get a first date

A Princeton study reveals the conversation topic that is guaranteed to get you a first date. Damona and Dr. V break it down.

Charlize is single and ready to mingle

Charlize Theron is a hot, single mom ready to find love. What can you learn from Charlize’s love journey? Damona and Dr. V have thoughts.

BAD ADVICE (18:03)

Dr. V and Damona go through all of the most popular dating advice out there today. First up: If you want to get a man, you need to play hard to get.

This is the WORST advice!

“We have deceived ourselves into believing that the person who cares less wins,” she says. “I’m here to tell you that the person who cares less gets less.”

Dr V is so right! Both women and men are conditioned to make it seem like they aren’t trying to make an impression. We don’t want others to judge us for trying too hard.

Bottom Line: There’s a difference between trying and trying too hard. But if you don’t try at all, you won’t get the outcome in love that you are looking for.

“Lean into love! Because if you care more, you get more,” says Dr. V.

Today’s dating culture is trending toward authenticity and honesty. Lead with your real, authentic self and you are sure to find the love you’re looking for.

Dr. V sets us straight on common advice like:

  • NEVER Text First
  • You can’t love anyone until you love yourself
  • Be upfront about what you want on a first date
  • And so much more!

This is essentially the Dates & Mates version of Dating Bootcamp. As Dr. V always says –

TECHNICALLY DATING (36:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Is he interested or is he bad at texting?
  • Should you wait for him to text back?
  • What do modern women want?
  • How long should you be with someone before they introduce you to their family?

GETTING GLAMMED UP FOR A DATE?

Have a hot date this weekend or another event that you want to glam it up for? Let Glamsquad help you out with Damona’s code! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 off your first service with my special code Damona20.

Women’s History Month & Refridgerdating

IT’S #WOMENSHISTORYMONTH!

As a dating coach for 13 years, Damona has seen shifts in dating trends and watched as women become more empowered in their dating lives. How do these things impact women’s dating destiny? Internationally renowned matchmaker and TV personality Carmelia Ray returns to co-host this episode with lots of insight on how women and men relate to each other in 2019. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:45)

The surprising reason ARod’s relationship with JLO is a lot of pressure

HUGE Congrats to JLO and AROD who announced this month that they are engaged! Shortly after the engagement, ARod revealed why a relationship with JLo is a lot of pressure for him. Damona and Carmelia break it down.

New Trend Alert: Honeymoon Edition

This just in! Ditch your new spouse and go on the honeymoon of your dreams BY YOURSELF! Damona and Carmelia are not here for this new trend and they explain why.

Meet Your New Matchmaker: Your Fridge

Predicted right here on Dates & Mates! Refridgerdating has just launched allowing you to see into your match’s fridge before you decide to make a move. Damona and Carmelia have thoughts.

NOW IS THE BEST TIME IN HISTORY FOR WOMEN TO DATE (11:30)

In honor of Women’s History Month, Damona sits down with Robert Kandell, interpersonal communication expert who helps women and men relate to each other better in the #MeToo Era. We talked about A LOT:

  • Shifts in acceptable dating behavior for women & men
  • Dating Patterns
  • Dating in big cities vs dating elsewhere
  • Do women need men anymore?
  • FOMO and Investing in relationships
  • Women have a higher earning potential and don’t have to settle!
  • “Men are acting more like boys, and women are acting more like men.” – Robert Kandell
  • And so much more!

If you liked this interview Damona has some supplemental material for you! Don’t miss Damona’s Communication Master Class and her interview with The Angry Therapist on Male EQ

TECHNICALLY DATING (46:03)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Why are women choosing to stay single for longer?
  • What is the best way to date if you have decided to ditch dating apps?

HATE GYMS?

Damona always says that working out has greatly improved her relationship with her body. Begin a program with Beach Body on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

Intimacy for Men & Rebel Love: Bonus Episode

“Y’ALL TALK?”

This holiday season, let’s take some time to work on our emotional intimacy. As we know this can be a little harder for men and we want to give you all the best tools to set you up for lasting and clear communication. This week, Damona sat down with Dr. Chris Donaghue, a psychotherapist, a sex therapist, and host of Loveline’s “The Amber Rose Show with Dr. Chris” for a special bonus episode. We talked about A LOT. Here’s the rundown:

How can we improve communication over the holidays? (1:17)

Prepare to have your mind blown: The first step to better communication is SELF CARE. Don’t see the connection? Dr. Chris breaks it down.

How do we carve out the time for emotional and sexual intimacy during the holidays?(2:30)

Does Feminism have benefits for men? (3:10)

THREE MUST-HAVES BEFORE MARRIAGE (4:20)

December 25th is the most popular day for engagements and New Years Day is the second most popular. Whether you’re single or coupled up, Dr. Chris Donaghue, from Loveline’s “The Amber Rose Show with Dr. Chris” tells us three relationship must-haves on this week’s episode before you consider moving on to the next step. 

How much information should you give away when you first start talking? (5:20)

What dating rules should you break? (7:01)

HOW DO YOU MOVE ON AFTER BEING GHOSTED BY YOUR CO-WORKER?  (7:43)

We LOVED having Dr. Chris on the show this week! Be sure to pick up his upcoming book Rebel Love: Break the Rules, Destroy Toxic Habits, and Have the Best Sex of Your Life.

STAY SEXY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

On average people gain 2-5 lbs over the holidays. You can fight to get it off in January or you can stop the holiday heaviness before it starts by beginning a program with Beach Body on demand. Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

Game Dating & Hookup Culture

We had an extra jam-packed farewell show before we go on a one-month hiatus. Andrew Lee Miller of Match.com was first to join us, discussing the new dating app Crown. Then we got a chance to speak with Lea Rose Emery from Bustle, who shared her thoughts on dating, feminism, and hookup culture, in addition to answering listeners’ questions.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:44)

The differences between how men and women fall in love

A recent study looked at how men and women fall in love, and there were some surprising results. For example, men typically say “I love you first,” but women tend to say it more often. You can find out about all the rest of what the study found out via Bustle here.

Another new dating trend

We like to keep you up to speed here at Dates & Mates, and we’ve got another slice of dating lingo to add to your vocabulary: Gatsbying. Gatsbying occurs when you put on a show on social media, but with only one special someone in mind. You can read more about it via Elite Daily here.

What makes men more attractive to women

Recently, a huge study about what women find attractive in men was conducted. Among the most desirable traits were presenting yourself as high status, growing a light beard, and playing complex music. You can read more via Science Alert here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (38:25)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • How to feel about your parents giving your boyfriend money
  • The best way to get busy at work

And many more . . .

We’ll see you in August!

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Get more dating advice and take your free dating/relationship course at DatesandMates.com

Happy Anniversary & Obligaswiping

Our guest co-host this week was Jared Stern. Jared’s the writer, producer, and director of the Netflix Original romantic comedy, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, which is available for streaming now. He’s currently in production on an adaptation of GREEN EGGS AND HAM and has written on WRECK-IT RALPH, THE INTERNSHIP, and THE LEGO MOVIE.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:28)

Can you swipe right on a coworker?

40% of office workers have had a workplace romance, and 72% of those don’t feel like they need to hide it. While it seems like it would make sense, work culture expert Alison Green gives a hard no to swiping right on those you work with. She says there’s too much potential for miscommunication and unequal expectations. You can read more via Quartz here.

New dating app trend: obligaswiping

There’s a new epidemic taking root where people blindly swipe on apps with no intention of actually meeting up. Many people these days go hard on dating apps for a day or two, grow bored, and abandon ship. Being on a dating app is now just a defense mechanism so you can say you’re trying. Read more about what we need to do to fix this via Cosmopolitan here.

Donald Trump Jr. was having an affair with Aubrey O’Day

It’s come about that while Vanessa was pregnant, Donald Trump Jr. was out trying for a baby with singer Aubrey O’Day. Aubrey released songs after the affair called “Somebody That I Used to Know” and “DJT.” Read more about what Vanessa did when she found this out via US Magazine here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (29:30)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • What to do if they guy you’ve been talking to suddenly turns cold
  • How to ask your boyfriend to post a picture of the two of you on social media so nobody else comes looking
  • Whether or not to keep your socks on during sex

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:47)

Damona had something that got under her skin that she needed to bring out into the world: women who sit on the sidelines waiting for romance to happen. It’s 2018! Get out there and find yourself the partner of your dreams.

Feminism & Dating

Our guest co-host this week was Clarissa Silva. Clarissa Silva is a behavioral scientist, researcher, and relationship coach with 17 years of experience in mental health, behavioral science, and public health. She’s the creator of the Your Happiness Hypothesis method, which provides science-based solutions to the woes of modern dating.

 

D’S DATING DISH (3:40)

Why going on too many dates can prevent you from finding love

The symptoms of over-dating are sweeping through the dating world, with anything more than two dates a week considered an example. Over-dating can lead to desensitization, a pursuit of something you’ll never realistically be able to get, and can prevent a real connection from occurring. But controversially, mathematician Hannah Fry says you should reject the first 37% people you date if you want to find the perfect one. What’s one to do? You can read more via Independent UK here.

Blac Chyna confirms she’s dating someone much younger

Blac Chyna was recently spotted with 18-year-old rapper YBN Almighty Jay. They were recently spotted hopping into a Ferrari, with Blac Chyna confirming they’re an item. However, he’s a decade younger than her and can’t even legally drink. Is it doomed to fail? You can read more via BET here.

Women are all about making the first move, and it’s leading to love

Invite-only dating app The League analyzed 100 couples who have been dating for more than one year, and one out of every three straight couples started with the woman messaging first. The stats don’t lie, and when a woman contacts a man first, 30 percent of those messages turn into a conversation. You can read more via Bravo here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (30:05)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • What to do if you love a man’s personality but aren’t attracted to him
  • How to handle a girlfriend sending nudes to another guy
  • What to do with an ex that won’t leave you alone on social media

And many more . . .

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP (46:02)

Brad Pitt has been in the headlines as of late thanks to the Oscars, so the Dates and Mates team thought that we’d do him a favor and offer our expertly curated picks of potential bachelorettes.

Find Clarissa’s relationship coaching at ClarissaSilva.com

Get one week of online dating free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates