Welcome to the grand finale of Dates & Mates Season 11!
Don’t worry, we aren’t going anywhere!! We have our summer series of bite-sized episodes that are perfect for your travels. Then get ready for Season 12 in mid-August!
This week, we’ve got the incredible Jillian Turecki joining us – she’s a certified relationship coach, host of the Jillian On Love podcast, and she knows her stuff.
We dive deep into this fantasy of “the one” in this episode. You know what we’re talking about, right? That perfect person who’s supposed to complete us and solve all our problems? Yeah, that one.
Damona and Jillian explore why this idea is so captivating and, more importantly, how it might actually mask some deeper needs for personal growth.
Before we dive in, let’s enjoy an old but treasured segment, the Romance Rollback, where we share ten surprising facts about the evolution of dating. Then, in this week’s Dear Damona segment, we tackle a tricky situation: “My dates keep ditching me for my brother. What can I do?”
ROMANCE ROLL BACK (3:39)
We came across an article in Mental Floss that shares ten fascinating facts about the evolution of dating and courtship.
For example, the term “date” was first used in 1896, the practice of dating has shifted from family-supervised courtship to public outings, and consumerism has greatly influenced dating norms.
Understanding this history helps us navigate our dating journeys with grace, empowering us to design our own love stories.
13:54 Jillian Turecki
Jillian Turecki is a teacher, writer, speaker, and certified relationship coach with over 20 years of experience.
She’s the founder of Jillian Turecki Coaching and hosts the podcast Jillian on Love. She creates some of the best content on Instagram and TikTok for her over 2 million followers.
15:20 The Myth of “The One”
Jillian talks about the myth of “the one,” which suggests there is a match out in the world who will solve all of your problems. She explains that this longing for “the one” is really about seeking completeness and wholeness.
In this discussion, we are reminded that true fulfillment comes from within. A good relationship can enhance our lives but won’t fix everything.
23:25 Why Are You Still Single?
Inessa shared her personal Feng Shui love story. She revealed that before meeting her husband, she made intentional changes to her space, like tossing an old mattress and activating the relationship corners of her home.
“I set my intention, visualized how I’d feel with my person, and made sure my home reflected that,” she said. This mindful approach, combined with a dating hiatus to clear her energy, led her to meet her husband on a dating app, proving the power of Feng Shui in attracting love.
35:48 Jillian is On a Mission
Damona lights up when Jillian shares her mission to help people build fulfilling relationships, starting with self-love.
Jillian is passionate about empowering young girls to prioritize their own dreams and independence rather than just finding a partner.
She emphasizes that good relationships are crucial for health, but the key decisions are who we choose to be with and how we show up in those relationships.
40:28 Let’s Make Dating Safer for Women
Jillian reminds singles that they’re talking to a stranger when messaging on a dating app.
Unlike meeting someone through mutual friends, there’s no inherent accountability. Jillian advises, “Stop getting into a texting affair with a stranger.” Your time is valuable, so avoid lengthy texting with someone who might not even show up.
Men should prioritize making women feel comfortable on dates. Impressing your date isn’t about grand gestures but about ensuring she feels safe and respected.
Follow her on Instagram @JillianTurecki and you can become of member of Jillian’s relationship school by visiting JillianTurecki.com/membership
DEAR DAMONA (51:34)
Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!
Text from an Anonymous Listener:
Dear Damona, My brother is impossibly good-looking, as is the celebrity level of good-looking. His friends tell him, strangers tell him. My whole extended family loves telling him. He and I are close in age, and we have the same dating pool. I haven’t worried about it in the past, but I’ve noticed a pattern.
I’ve been thankful and lucky to find some success in dating recently. All my dates have gone fantastically great. Depth of conversation, laughter. Communication, smile, eye contact, casual touch: It’s been wonderful. But the instant my dates learn about my brother, it’s been game over.
All of a sudden, it stops. I either get ghosted, or if I’m lucky, I get an honest text. And look, I get it. My brother’s a bad boy type. He looks awesome. He’s a talented artist, destined to fame. But what do I do? I love the way I am, the way I look, the things I love. But when somebody sees my brother. So far, my dates have stopped dating me. Am I choosing wrong? Am I attracting the wrong type? Help?
Dating Solutions: The Communication & Trust Pillars
We’re back with the final bite-sized episode of the F the Fairy Tale Summer Series on Dates & Mates, inspired by themes from Damona’s new book F the Fairy Tale.
Last week, we examined the Goals and Values Pillars, which are crucial for laying the foundation of any relationship.
Now, we’re moving forward with the final two pillars: Communication and Trust. These pillars are essential for building strong, lasting connections. To guide you through these final two pillars, we have insights from one of Damona’s favorite segments of our recent F the Fairy Tale forum.
This segment features two of the most respected dating and relationship coaches, Carol Allen and Katherine Woodward Thomas, who help break down the pillars and answer listener questions like, “What do you think are the top three dealbreakers in a relationship?”
Let’s explore how mastering the Communication Pillar and Trust Pillar can transform your love life.
(0:53) The Communication Pillar
We all love the idea of chemistry—that instant connection and those fluttering butterflies when meeting someone new. However, the Chemistry Myth often leads to the belief that something magical must happen right away.
But those butterflies might be warning signals that things are moving too fast or that a familiar, unhealthy pattern is being repeated. Instead, slow down, communicate effectively, and focus on the Communication Pillar.
Embracing slow love is key to building a solid foundation and overcoming many dating challenges.
(1:46) The Trust Pillar
As we shift our focus from meeting someone special to building a future together, it’s time to replace the Soulmate Myth with the Trust Pillar.
Your soulmate isn’t found through magic; trust is built in small moments, micro-decisions, and actions. It’s through developing the Trust Pillar that you’ll find the person you choose as your soulmate.
Remember, it’s not destiny or magic that forms lasting love, but the consistent, trust-building actions that create a strong, enduring relationship.
(2:24) Carol Allen
Carol Allen is a Vedic astrologer and relationship coach. Her methods are really a blend of East and West.
She combines her training in astrology in India with cutting-edge, real-world relationship research.
Carol has appeared on E!, Bridezillas, Xtra,, Doctor Drew’s Life Changers, and Chicken Soup for the Soul.
(2:49) Katherine Woodward Thomas
Katherine is a New York Times best-selling author, licensed marriage and family therapist,, and teacher to thousands of people worldwide in her virtual and in-person learning communities.
You may have heard of her book Conscious Uncoupling-Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After. She also has an amazing online course: Calling in “The One:” 49 Days to Love.
(3:34) It Starts with a Relationship with Yourself
When asked how to improve communication with a partner or date, Katherine Woodward Thomas emphasizes that “our relationships with others can never really be any better than our relationship with ourselves.”
Communication often becomes distorted when driven by unresolved issues.
(7:52) We All Come with a Divine Design
Is there really such a thing as astrological compatibility?
Carol emphasizes that everyone has a unique divine design, with personality traits that are largely genetic. This innate temperament affects how we connect with others.
It’s important to find those connections where trust and communication flow easily, “You want to look for those people where you don’t have to work so hard.”
Listener Questions:
Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!
14:04 Anonymous Listener:
Do you find it true that the scarcity mindset really plays out in limiting success in dating? I get so few responses, which leads me to experience scarcity. How do I bring abundance into my dating life?
19:00 Anonymous Listener:
How do you keep your energy up when you’ve been dating for a long time and you’re still waiting to meet your life partner?
25:02 Anonymous Listener:
What do you think are the top three dealbreakers in a relationship?
27:15 Anonymous Listener:
I am struggling to maintain an abundant mindset even while engaging in activities I love, repeating affirmations but not seeing any matches. Help!
Dating Solutions: The Goals & Values Pillars
Welcome back to our F the Fairy Tale Summer series, where we’re serving up bite-sized episodes inspired by Damona Hoffman’s new book, “F the Fairy Tale.”
This week, we shift from busting myths to seeking solutions in dating. We’ve already tackled the four biggest myths that hold singles back: the rules myth, the chemistry myth, and the soulmate myth. If you missed those, be sure to catch up on the last four episodes!
But what good is identifying these myths if we don’t know how to solve them? This week’s mini-episode focuses on the Goals and Values Pillars from Damona’s book.
We dive deeper into the Goals Pillar and the Values Pillar with three of Damona’s dear longtime friends in the love business: relationship experts Orna and Matthew Walters and Evan MarcKatz. Join us as we revisit one of Damona’s very favorite panels from the F the Fairy Tale Forum last year, and start transforming those myths into actionable steps towards finding true love!
The Goals and Values Pillars (1:17)
The Goals and Values Pillars offer fresh solutions to two of the biggest dating myths.
The Goals Pillar helps you dodge the list myth by focusing on shared goals rather than superficial qualities. This way, you make sure you’re on the same page with your partner from the get-go, avoiding that dreaded moment when you realize you’re not heading in the same direction.
On the other hand, the Values Pillar is all about breaking free from the rules myth. Those rigid dating rules might feel safe, but they can keep you from truly growing and connecting.
By letting go of these rules, you can dive into self-inquiry, understand your values on a deeper level, and write your own love story. These pillars guide you toward more fulfilling and authentic relationships, helping you navigate the dating world with confidence.
(3:18) Orna and Matthew Walters
Orna and Matthew Walters are amazing love coaches, but they do so much more than that.
They are featured on Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker and have helped transform thousands of singles around the globe.
They also have a new book coming out in January 2025 through a division of Penguin Random House. It’s called “Getting It Right This Time: Break Free from Your Hidden Blocks to Lasting Love,” it’s available for pre-order now!
(3:44) Evan Marc Katz
Evan Marc Katz is a name well-known in the dating world, especially if you’ve been navigating it for a while.
He is renowned as the dating coach for smart, successful women. With not one, not two, but four books to his name. Evan has been featured on hundreds of media outlets since 2003. He hosts The Love U podcast and runs a blog launched in 2006, which boasts over 30 million readers today.
Fun fact: Evan is one of Damona’s very first friends in this business. About 13 or 14 years ago, he took a call from Damona when she was considering leaving her TV producing career to become a full-time love coach.
(5:55) Release the First Date Pressure!
Evan is all about putting values first. Instead of trying to figure out if someone is your soulmate on the first date (because who can do that?), he suggests a more relaxed approach.
Pay attention to your feelings and let people show you who they are over time. You’ll learn a lot about someone in the first month and save yourself from making big mistakes.
Damona points out that it all starts with knowing your own goals and values. So many people come to her saying they’ll “know it when they see it,” but having that clarity from the get-go is super important. It’s all about setting yourself up for success in finding the right partner!
(10:30) What is Your Love Imprint?
Orna and Matthew start by helping clients understand their love imprint—a concept that explores how early childhood experiences shape our attraction patterns.
It is common to be attracted to people who emulate our families because it feels comfortable, normal or safe, but it can lead to repeating unhealthy relationship patterns.
Orna and Matthew help clients identify and break these subconscious habits. By first understanding themselves, clients can form healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Listener Questions:
Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!
21:00 Jeannie asks:
What’s the best site for women over 65?
22:53 Anonymous Listener:
For women, I feel like the message is often to lower your standards. Meanwhile, men are not improving themselves like we have. And in my area, it feels like a dating dessert. I have likes on my profile, but not anyone I’ve been curious about lately, and I don’t know if it’s connected to the next question. Does that mean that my standards are too high?
Access Hollywood: Summer of Love at the Love Shack
Summer of Love: Damona’s Love Shack Heats Up Universal Studios!
Damona Hoffman joined Access Hollywood to kick off the “Summer of Love” at Universal Studios Hollywood. Our favorite relationship expert set up a Love Shack to answer park-goers’ burning questions about dating and love.
From app fatigue to moving in together, Damona dishes out practical advice to keep your love life sizzling this summer. She even shares a controversial take on love languages that might surprise you!
Want to make the most of the season? Damona says “Just say yes!” to new opportunities. Barbecues, parties, and outdoor events are perfect for meeting people IRL and sparking summer romance!
The Soulmate Myth & Growth Mindset
You might be surprised to learn that Damona does NOT believe in soulmates. In fact, neither does Mr. Hoffman. They believe that there are many possible matches out there for you, but you choose to make someone your soulmate every day. You choose to keep learning and growing into your relationship.
As we continue our F The Fairy Tale Summer Series, this week’s Dates & Mates minisode will focus on the Soulmate Myth.You’ll hear an excerpt from the book, get answers to a listener question, dive into some dating dish-esque stats, and receive the best relationship advice you’ll hear all week.
The Soulmate Myth (1:40)
What’s the soulmate myth? It’s the idea that there’s one perfect person out there for you, and finding them will make you happy forever. If there were a soulmate finder app, it would make millions!
But here’s the thing—it’s just a myth. Chasing the idea of one perfect match prevents you from committing to a fulfilling relationship and sticking with someone when times get tough.
(2:14) Straight from F the Fairy Tale
Damona shares an excerpt from her book, F the Fairy Tale, on the myth of soulmates: “Pursuing that ideal keeps you constantly in a scarcity mindset.”.
She explains that believing there’s only one perfect match limits your choices and can make you question a great relationship. Instead she urges daters to embrace a growth mindset which will allow them to overcome issues and build strong relationships.
(7:03) It Takes a Mindset Shift
Damona shares some surprising data about the soulmate myth. Former NASA engineer Randall Munroe found that the probability of meeting your perfect soulmate is once in 10,000 lifetimes.
“So, if the odds aren’t in our favor, it’s imperative that singles shift from the soulmate myth mindset.” Instead, focus on long-term compatibility.
Based on years of coaching, Damona emphasizes that common goals and shared values are the true markers of a successful relationship.
Listener Questions
Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!
(4:24) I feel like my ex was my soulmate. I’ve been dating on the app since we broke up, and I’m starting to worry that I’ll never feel that way again.
(8:28 ) Do soulmates exist? I used to believe in Twin Flames, but now, 20 years in with a family, mine is no longer interested in me and I’m trying to separate.
The Chemistry Myth & Sleeping Together
What if chemistry is just a myth? Damona is here to challenge everything you thought you knew about those initial sparks.
In this solo minisode, we dive into The Chemistry Myth. We start with an excerpt from Damona’s book, F the Fairy Tale, and follow up with top tips and takeaways on understanding chemistry in relationships.
Plus she answers this sizzling Dear Damona question: “How fast is too fast to have sex with a new person?”
So, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us for an episode filled with insights and revelations.
The Chemistry Myth (0:58)
The Chemistry Myth is the belief that you need to feel immediate, romantic sparks for a long-term relationship to develop.
True relationship success starts with slow love. When we try to shortcut the road to a relationship by steering around red flags, we miss the true markers of relationship success and then we second guess our dating and relationship choices.
(1:33) When are the Flutters Not Butterflies?
The Chemistry Myth touches a lot of lives! RomComs and romance novels spread the myth of chasing butterflies! But what if you don’t really understand what they mean?
Damona shares an excerpt from the book about how the Chemistry Myth has affected her own dating life.
(3:51) Butterflies May Be a Window to the Past
You may think that the “chemistry” you feel points to the future, but it often reflects our past.
True connection and compatibility develop over time, which is why Damona advocates for slow love in her book F the Fairy Tale, and pretty much everywhere!
By ditching the List Myth and the Rules Myth, you can truly see who someone is and how they align with your deeper goals and values.
Dear Damona (6:02)
Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!
Question from Miss. M:
Dear Damona, if slow love’s the only way to go, which for me, I definitely don’t want first, second, or even third date sex, then what’s considered too fast or too slow? I’m happy to report I’m dating a guy who has aligned values, is a good open communicator, and makes me feel amazing and heard. Here’s our timeline. Met for a 1.5-hour coffee a week after app chatting. After the second-date dinner, he asked for consent to kiss me good night. Third date dinner, kissed a little more good night in the car.
Fourth date hung out at his place, and he politely asked how far I would like to go making out, we kept it PG. Date number five: dinner again, invited him to my place, and had sex. I realized this morning it’s only been three weeks since we matched, both feeling excited about each other and have date six planned for tomorrow. Do you think sex within three weeks is considered slow love?
Merit Street: Make or Break Vacation for Couples
Vacations for Couples can be Relationship Breakers!
Damona joined Morning on Merit Street to discuss a topic that is on everyone’s mind this Summer: How will my partner and I do on our first vacation together?
Taking a vacation as a couple can be stressful! You have to share a smaller space and may be spending more time together than you are used to. Damona gives practical advice on how to keep your romantic couples’ vacation on track!
NBC News Now: Dating App Fatigue and Zombie Swiping
Singles are Breaking up with the Apps!
Damona joined the hosts of NBS News Now to discuss dating app fatigue and zombie swiping. How can you get off the apps this summer and start meeting people IRL? Damona talks about that and also suggests some fun summer date ideas to get you started!
Watch the video above and get out there this summer!
The Rules Myth & Meaningful Connections
This week, we have the next fantastic episode of “F the Fairytale” Summer series, where we are doing bite-sized episodes inspired by the themes of Damona’s book, “F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story.”
Dating has changed drastically since Damona wrote her first dating profile for someone else about 18 years ago, but one thing has remained the same: everyone wants a dating hack, a shortcut, a system, something to make this yellow brick road run a little faster.
You all know dating takes time, and a successful relationship starts with slow love. So in reality, those quick dating fixes might actually be setting you back in your search for fulfilling connections.
That’s why we are diving into The Rules Myth this week on the Dates & Mates podcast as we revisit one of Damona’s favorite panels from the F the Fairy Tale forum with love and relationship experts Arielle Ford & Francesca Hogi!
THE RULES MYTH (1:05)
The Rules Myth governs those who see dating as a game to be won, leading to a tactical and often robotic approach to meeting people.
This mindset drives the popularity of books like “The Rules” and “The Game” and fuels the hunger for dating hacks on social media. But just because swipe apps gamify dating doesn’t mean you have to play by their rules. You control your love story.
(2:30) Arielle Ford
Arielle is a celebrated love and relationship expert, author, and speaker, and she is the co-creator and host of Evolving Wisdom’s Art of Love series.
Before that, she spent years as a book publicist and was instrumental in launching the careers of many New York Times best-selling self-help authors, including Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, Don Miguel Ruiz, and Debbie Ford.
Ariel is the author of 11 books, including the international bestseller “The Soulmate Secret: Manifest The Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction”. It’s published in 21 languages and 40 countries.
(3:16) Francesca Hogi
Francesca is a former corporate lawyer turned matchmaker turned love coach. She is a TEDx speaker, the host of the Dear Franny podcast, and an internationally recognized expert on dating and relationships.
You may have seen her on the Today Show, Marie Claire, The New York Times, Harper’s Bazaar, and The Huffington Post. She coaches individuals and groups and is the founder of the True Love Society, a community for women seeking deeper self- and romantic love.
Fun fact: Prior to her love career, Francesca competed on two seasons of the iconic reality show Survivor.
(4:48) Do the rules work?
Ariel Ford dives into the heart of love by debunking the myth that love is just a feeling.
She highlights that the butterflies and champagne bubbles we often associate with love are really just nature’s greatest drug—an oxytocin, adrenaline, and dopamine high.
Real, mature love, she explains, is a behavior, a choice, and an action. It’s about consistently choosing your partner, even on tough days. Ariel emphasizes that understanding this is crucial for anyone navigating the dating world and seeking a lifelong partner.
(6:30) Rules put the focus on the wrong things
Franny gets real about why strict dating rules just don’t work.
She understands why people crave clear rules to ease the complexities of dating, but she believes these rules often shift focus away from what truly matters.
“If you are following a lot of ‘rules,’ then you’re more focused on that than you are on making sure that you are showing up with authenticity.” Focus on building a connection based on authenticity and mutual respect.
(11:32) Chart your own path
Damona’s message from F the Fairy Tale is all about empowerment: you get to rewrite the rules for yourself. “You get to chart your own path, and you get to do it together with a partner.”
She emphasizes the joy and opportunity of creating your own rituals and rules in a relationship. This approach makes connections more personalized and fulfilling, tailored to what works best for both people involved. It’s all about making your own story together and embracing the unique journey that comes with it.
(12:20) Let’s answer some listener questions
CBS Mornings – Frustrated singles breaking up with dating apps
Dating app burnout is on the rise!
Last year, Americans downloaded dating apps more than 36 million times, which is down 16% from 2020.
Dating coach Damona Hoffman joined the hosts of CBS Mornings to talk about dating app burnout. Damona says an increasing number of her clients are feeling what she calls “dating app burnout,” which is stress and fatigue caused by endless swiping.
Tune in to hear Damona talk about how to beat the stress and fatigue caused by endless swiping.
The List Myth & Dating Math
Welcome back to our F the Fairy Tale Summer series with bite-sized episodes inspired by the themes of Damona’s book, “F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story.”
F the Fairy Tale is structured around the four phases of dating that Damona has taught over the last 17-plus years, identifying which myths seem to govern each phase.
In our F the Fairy Tale Summer series, we’ll cover all of those myths and their fixes, revealing the pillars that are the antidotes to dating frustrations.
Today, we’re tackling the first myth: The List Myth. This myth is insidious and oh-so-unsatisfying in dating
(1:18) The Longer the List, the More Limiting it is
Crafting an exhaustive list of criteria for potential partners can create unrealistic expectations and distance you from making meaningful choices.
A long list offers an escape hatch, preventing vulnerability while also creating a feeling of discouragement when no one meets every criterion. While having some criteria is necessary, too many can turn dating into a frustrating minefield.
(2:33) Get Laser Focused
To break free from the list myth, Damona wants you to get laser-focused on the most important qualities in a partner.
Narrow your list to three must-haves and one deal breaker to clarify what truly matters to you. This approach helps you make more mindful and meaningful choices in your dating journey.
(2:56) Micro-Choices Add Up Fast
Damona shares “There always comes a point when I have to engage in dating math with clients. As they build their lists, I compute how each selection erodes their dating pool.”
For example, many women want a partner over six feet tall, but only 14.5% of men meet this. Adding criteria like a master’s degree, specific location, race, and income, further limits options. This compounding effect can leave very few potential matches.
(3:58) Damona’s Hot Take
Everyone has something on their list that limits them.
It’s crucial to ask why those items are there and consider how you want to feel in a relationship. You can check all the boxes and still feel it’s not right. But “if you can drop into the feeling of what it will be like to be in a relationship with this person, you will always know when that feeling is repeated.”
Join Our Book Squad
Follow along with the book “F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story,” available on Amazon and anywhere books are sold!
Have you already read the “F the Fairy Tale”? We invite you to join the Book Squad! If you review “F The Fairy Tale” and submit it at DamonaHoffman.com/booksquad before July 31st, you’ll be invited to an exclusive Q&A session with Damona!
Summer Love & Dating IRL
Summer is a fantastic time to meet someone special. In fact, Damona and Mr. Hoffman matched right around the 4th of July, though they didn’t meet in person until the Monday after because Seth’s schedule was “Chock Full O’Barbeques”. Stick around until the end to hear that story…. Bottom line: Damona loves a hot girl summer, and she’s seen summer flings turn into lifelong romances.
But don’t believe the hype that there are only certain times of the year to find love. Sure, there’s peak dating season at the start of the year, spring flings, and cuffing season in the fall. But you can meet your person any time of the year.
Each season has its own energy, and you never know when or where you’ll meet that special someone.
DEAR DAMONA (1:44)
A listener named Tasha asks:
Damona, love your story!!! I also enjoy your podcast. I realized that the most popular way to meet singles these days is online. I just can’t do it. It just doesn’t work for me. How are people meeting organically in 2024?
12:37 Did You Love the Book??
Speaking of fiction and fantasy, Damona is all about rewriting dating myths and living your own love stories. She literally wrote the book on it: “F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story,” available in e-book, audiobook, and hardcover.
This summer, we’re encouraging you to leave your reviews of “F the Fairy Tale,” no matter where you bought it or what format you enjoyed it in. Damona is eager to hear what parts of the book resonated with you.
Listener T says, “Buy it. It’s a practical, well-thought-out book that restores the feeling of power in personal decision-making for a meaningful relationship. Her Dates & Mates podcast is amazing as well.”
13:48 Summer BBQ Love Story
Damona shares a fun story about meeting her husband around the 4th of July. When she suggested they meet, he said he was “chock full of barbecues.”
Turns out, he had no plans but didn’t want to seem like a loser. The following year, Damona found herself in the same boat with no invites and realized everyone tells their own stories to avoid looking silly.
15:54 Four Fairy Tale Dating Myths COMING UP!
Coming up next week, we have the start of our summer series where we dissect each of the four Fairy Tale Dating Myths that Damona wrote about in her book “”F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story”
First up, we will have the List Myth!!
Jillian On Love & Finding The One
Welcome to the grand finale of Dates & Mates Season 11!
Don’t worry, we aren’t going anywhere!! We have our summer series of bite-sized episodes that are perfect for your travels. Then get ready for Season 12 in mid-August!
This week, we’ve got the incredible Jillian Turecki joining us – she’s a certified relationship coach, host of the Jillian On Love podcast, and she knows her stuff.
We dive deep into this fantasy of “the one” in this episode. You know what we’re talking about, right? That perfect person who’s supposed to complete us and solve all our problems? Yeah, that one.
Damona and Jillian explore why this idea is so captivating and, more importantly, how it might actually mask some deeper needs for personal growth.
Before we dive in, let’s enjoy an old but treasured segment, the Romance Rollback, where we share ten surprising facts about the evolution of dating. Then, in this week’s Dear Damona segment, we tackle a tricky situation: “My dates keep ditching me for my brother. What can I do?”
ROMANCE ROLL BACK (3:39)
We came across an article in Mental Floss that shares ten fascinating facts about the evolution of dating and courtship.
For example, the term “date” was first used in 1896, the practice of dating has shifted from family-supervised courtship to public outings, and consumerism has greatly influenced dating norms.
Understanding this history helps us navigate our dating journeys with grace, empowering us to design our own love stories.
13:54 Jillian Turecki
Jillian Turecki is a teacher, writer, speaker, and certified relationship coach with over 20 years of experience.
She’s the founder of Jillian Turecki Coaching and hosts the podcast Jillian on Love. She creates some of the best content on Instagram and TikTok for her over 2 million followers.
15:20 The Myth of “The One”
Jillian talks about the myth of “the one,” which suggests there is a match out in the world who will solve all of your problems. She explains that this longing for “the one” is really about seeking completeness and wholeness.
In this discussion, we are reminded that true fulfillment comes from within. A good relationship can enhance our lives but won’t fix everything.
23:25 Why Are You Still Single?
Inessa shared her personal Feng Shui love story. She revealed that before meeting her husband, she made intentional changes to her space, like tossing an old mattress and activating the relationship corners of her home.
“I set my intention, visualized how I’d feel with my person, and made sure my home reflected that,” she said. This mindful approach, combined with a dating hiatus to clear her energy, led her to meet her husband on a dating app, proving the power of Feng Shui in attracting love.
35:48 Jillian is On a Mission
Damona lights up when Jillian shares her mission to help people build fulfilling relationships, starting with self-love.
Jillian is passionate about empowering young girls to prioritize their own dreams and independence rather than just finding a partner.
She emphasizes that good relationships are crucial for health, but the key decisions are who we choose to be with and how we show up in those relationships.
40:28 Let’s Make Dating Safer for Women
Jillian reminds singles that they’re talking to a stranger when messaging on a dating app.
Unlike meeting someone through mutual friends, there’s no inherent accountability. Jillian advises, “Stop getting into a texting affair with a stranger.” Your time is valuable, so avoid lengthy texting with someone who might not even show up.
Men should prioritize making women feel comfortable on dates. Impressing your date isn’t about grand gestures but about ensuring she feels safe and respected.
Follow her on Instagram @JillianTurecki and you can become of member of Jillian’s relationship school by visiting JillianTurecki.com/membership
DEAR DAMONA (51:34)
Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!
Text from an Anonymous Listener:
Dear Damona, My brother is impossibly good-looking, as is the celebrity level of good-looking. His friends tell him, strangers tell him. My whole extended family loves telling him. He and I are close in age, and we have the same dating pool. I haven’t worried about it in the past, but I’ve noticed a pattern.
I’ve been thankful and lucky to find some success in dating recently. All my dates have gone fantastically great. Depth of conversation, laughter. Communication, smile, eye contact, casual touch: It’s been wonderful. But the instant my dates learn about my brother, it’s been game over.
All of a sudden, it stops. I either get ghosted, or if I’m lucky, I get an honest text. And look, I get it. My brother’s a bad boy type. He looks awesome. He’s a talented artist, destined to fame. But what do I do? I love the way I am, the way I look, the things I love. But when somebody sees my brother. So far, my dates have stopped dating me. Am I choosing wrong? Am I attracting the wrong type? Help?