The pressure to settle down by a certain age is an old tale that places unfair expectations on daters. Society pushes this narrative that we must find “the one” and get married before some imaginary expiration date. But settling for the wrong person just to meet society’s timeline is never the answer. Love is a journey that shouldn’t be rushed, a story that unfolds uniquely for all of us.
And that is why our word of the week is TIME.
We often get stuck trying to find the “right” time to find love or settle down. But in truth, all any of us have is the present moment.
In this episode, we’ll discuss societal pressures to settle for less than you deserve. We’ll explore embracing your own path and prioritizing your happiness over external timelines. Our guest this week, Julia Mazur, will share her story of navigating these expectations. Together, we’ll talk about why you should tune out society’s ticking clock and focus on your fulfillment.
JULIA MAZUR (3:16)
Previously a longtime Tinder employee, Julia Mazur is the host of the Pretty Much Done podcast. Her content celebrates singlehood and the freedom that comes with it—the joys of living alone, solo dates, sleeping in on weekends, and choosing yourself first.
Julia went viral after showcasing a day in her life as a single woman without kids. While many women related, others criticized, attacked, and even threatened her. But Julia has overcome it all and continues creating helpful, empowering content.
THE PRESSURE TO SETTLE DOWN (4:17)
Julia grew up with the message that she needed to get married and have kids young like her mom did. There was innate pressure on her whole life to follow that path. Julia constantly tried to accomplish that goal, but kept finding herself in lackluster relationships, feeling unfulfilled.
She realized she was just trying to meet someone to fill a hole inside herself. “Settling for the wrong person just to fit the mold is never the answer.”
GOING VIRAL AS A SINGLE WOMAN (5:30)
Julia went viral after showcasing a day as a single 30-year-old woman without kids. She didn’t expect the influx of attention – both positive and negative.
At first, women related to Julia’s video, saying they feel the same pressure to be married with kids by a certain age. But then a right-wing commentator shared the video, unleashing hateful attacks on Julia – calling her names, criticizing her looks. It was a scary place to be.
But Julia continues to appreciate her independence and the stage of the dating process that she is in.
SOCIETAL PRESSURES ON WOMEN (8:51)
After going viral, Julia realized the pressure she felt to marry and have kids by 30 wasn’t just her culture – it’s felt throughout society. “I realized this is just societal pressure placed on women and it’s really harmful to us because we’re feeling these pressures and then we meet someone and we’re like, okay, I think I’m just going to settle for the next person I meet because people are gonna think that I’m some societal leper if I’m not married at 30.” – Julia Mazur.
Julia believes living true to yourself is most important. She hopes to have a family someday, but until meeting the right partner, she wants to fully embrace life’s joys as an independent woman.
UNATTACHED AUTUMN (12:23)
Julia is doing a 6-month home swap in Austin. While there, she’s “unattaching” from any expected outcomes – especially around dating and relationships.
For so long, Julia used dating apps trying to find her happily ever after. Now she’s freeing herself from that burden. She’ll put herself in new situations that may not have organically occurred in LA. Julia is open to connecting with people in different ways, with no pressure.
Taking off the societal expectation to be married by a certain age has been exhausting. This move will allow Julia to detach and see what unfolds when she lets go of self-imposed pressures.
BEWARE THE “ICK” (19:08)
Julia talks a lot about how it is easier for the “ick” to take hold in online relationships than in-person ones. “If you think about a friend that you’ve met, and a friend wears a shirt that you don’t like or laughs in a weird way, you give them so much more grace than you would some stranger that you met on a dating app.”
She cautions us to take things slow and be kind in our pursuit of meaningful connections. Placing pressure on a first date to be “the one”, can rob you of the human experience of slowly getting to know someone before deciding if it could work.
Follow Julia Mazur on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pmdpod/ and TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@pmdpod, Check out her podcast: Pretty Much Done
DEAR DAMONA
Our Dear Damona segment is returning next week. Submit your questions on Instagram, X, or Facebook
and hear Damona’s answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:
- Instagram Message from S – Hi! I love your podcast, and it’s been a great resource since I started exploring dating again after a 10 year relationship ended. I have a question: in a month I have a trip out of the country with a friend who’s also a casual partner. We’re not compatible in the long term (she’s non-monogamous and I’m not interested in that in my next LTR).
I’ve also been dating with the intention of meeting someone who I want to have a committed, LTR with. I’ve recently met someone who checks all of my important boxes. We’ve only been on a couple dates, but I’m thinking ahead a bit and wondering how to handle the situation with the trip. Everything is paid for, and I’m committed. If I’m still seeing this potential partner, I’m not sure how to address the situation. I don’t want to lie, either directly or by omission, but I also worry about sabotaging things. On the other hand, I’d be letting my friend down and throwing away a significant amount of money if I skip the trip. What’s your advice?
Washington Post: Is the Cheesecake Factory a first date spot? It contains multitudes.
First dates are famously fraught — there’s a reason they’re the subject of many a movie scene (and group text freak-outs). If they go well, maybe they’ll be mentioned in wedding toasts and reminiscences with doting grandchildren. After all, we’ve always heard that you never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Click here to learn the answer, then check out this blog post to read about Damona’s first date conversation tips!
LA Times: Speed dating is having a renaissance…
There’s a myriad of benefits for speed dating: You have to get dressed only once for multiple dates, catfishing isn’t an issue like on dating apps, safety is less of a concern because you’ll be with other people in a public place, and the dates are quick (which is great if you’re not feeling a romantic vibe). But above all, relationship experts agree that rapid dating gives you the opportunity to get back into the groove, especially if you’ve been out of the game for a while.
Click here to check out why speed dating events are hot in LA, then check out this article for Damona’s tips on having a successful speed dating experience…
Dear Damona: STI Sitch & Solo Parent Singles
F the Fairy Tale Pre-Order Giveaway (0:00)
We have some amazing news to share about Damona’s upcoming book “F the Fairy Tale” which will be released on January 2nd: It’s actually available for pre-order AND if you order now you’ll get the Black Friday deal of 25% off and free shipping on orders over $25 now through November 28th. Visit FTheFairyTaleBook.com to pre-order the book and get this awesome deal.
An All Dear Damona (2:10)
We are so excited to welcome any new listeners who may have seen Damona’s recent appearance on The Drew Barrymore Show! Damona has been an OG Drew Crew member since Season 1 and this time, she got to do an epic Girl Talk segment on the largest couch ever with Drew, Tiff Bera and Hannah Burner. They answered audience questions and Damona did her best not to get swallowed by that huge couch.
Whether you found Damona through Drew or have been listening for years, her mission is the same – to help with your love dilemmas!
There’s so much to dive into during today’s jam-packed episode! By popular demand, the Dear Damona segment is back and producer Lindsey joins again for an all Dear Damona episode to tackle your questions about bots on dating apps, safeguards for online dating, commitment issues, dating as a single mom, and more!
Dear Damona (4:51)
(04:58) IG DM from M
What’s the best way to handle guys you are not interested in? Swipe left and the next day they show up again in your like list as a “new here” member. I have several repeat offenders that are constantly liking my profile as a “New Here” member. It seems they may be signing up with new accounts every few days to recirculate the profile pool. It’s really disturbing. Thank you for your time.
(08:51) IG DM from L
I’m wondering if you’re able to address the topic of how to not date “bad people”. I seem to be a magnet for psychopaths and narcissists. And although I’m getting better at identifying them earlier, I’ve been in a number of very scary situations. How can I avoid these people to begin with?
(15:57) IG DM from Donna
I’ve been widowed for six years, dating for three. I used a matchmaker at first, but I’ve recently entered the world of online dating. I actually love OkCupid. It’s a great app for me.
I recently met a man that I really like. We went out and hit it off. But on the first date, he revealed to me that he has herpes. I am unsure about continuing our relationship.I am crazy attracted to him and he seems like a good person.
It’s so early on in the relationship. I’m leaning towards ending it though. Should I find more out about it and continue or realize that this could just be one of my deal breakers? Honestly, the thought of dealing with it stresses me out.
(21:46) IG DM from Rose:
I am 45 and single. I’m currently struggling with dating. I recently realized when I’m interested in a man that I will go overboard with affection in order to show them how I like to receive affection when their actions do not line up with my expectations for interest or the affection that I want, I start to question the whole relationship.
Currently, I’m in a situation where I’ve done everything he’s mentioned that he needs to feel safe, but I don’t feel like I’m getting the same in return. He told me that I want full relationship interest and affection and that he isn’t there yet. He said he’s open to a relationship with me but doesn’t want to be locked down just yet. In my new understanding of myself, I’ve taken a step back to allow him to show me how he shows interest. But now I’m getting nothing. No flirting, no cute texts. We haven’t even seen each other in over two weeks. Should I save my heart and run? Your thoughts are greatly appreciated!
(29:25) IG DM from M
Can you please tell me the best way to online date as a single mother? How do I convey to other singles in my online profile that my child and I come as a package and that I don’t have babysitting options such as family or ex partners? And how can I do it all without seeming too pushy or needy?
Have More Questions? (36:38)
Submit your questions on Instagram, X, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on the show!
Celebrating Singlehood & Tricky Trip
The pressure to settle down by a certain age is an old tale that places unfair expectations on daters. Society pushes this narrative that we must find “the one” and get married before some imaginary expiration date. But settling for the wrong person just to meet society’s timeline is never the answer. Love is a journey that shouldn’t be rushed, a story that unfolds uniquely for all of us.
And that is why our word of the week is TIME.
We often get stuck trying to find the “right” time to find love or settle down. But in truth, all any of us have is the present moment.
In this episode, we’ll discuss societal pressures to settle for less than you deserve. We’ll explore embracing your own path and prioritizing your happiness over external timelines. Our guest this week, Julia Mazur, will share her story of navigating these expectations. Together, we’ll talk about why you should tune out society’s ticking clock and focus on your fulfillment.
JULIA MAZUR (3:16)
Previously a longtime Tinder employee, Julia Mazur is the host of the Pretty Much Done podcast. Her content celebrates singlehood and the freedom that comes with it—the joys of living alone, solo dates, sleeping in on weekends, and choosing yourself first.
Julia went viral after showcasing a day in her life as a single woman without kids. While many women related, others criticized, attacked, and even threatened her. But Julia has overcome it all and continues creating helpful, empowering content.
THE PRESSURE TO SETTLE DOWN (4:17)
Julia grew up with the message that she needed to get married and have kids young like her mom did. There was innate pressure on her whole life to follow that path. Julia constantly tried to accomplish that goal, but kept finding herself in lackluster relationships, feeling unfulfilled.
She realized she was just trying to meet someone to fill a hole inside herself. “Settling for the wrong person just to fit the mold is never the answer.”
GOING VIRAL AS A SINGLE WOMAN (5:30)
Julia went viral after showcasing a day as a single 30-year-old woman without kids. She didn’t expect the influx of attention – both positive and negative.
At first, women related to Julia’s video, saying they feel the same pressure to be married with kids by a certain age. But then a right-wing commentator shared the video, unleashing hateful attacks on Julia – calling her names, criticizing her looks. It was a scary place to be.
But Julia continues to appreciate her independence and the stage of the dating process that she is in.
SOCIETAL PRESSURES ON WOMEN (8:51)
After going viral, Julia realized the pressure she felt to marry and have kids by 30 wasn’t just her culture – it’s felt throughout society. “I realized this is just societal pressure placed on women and it’s really harmful to us because we’re feeling these pressures and then we meet someone and we’re like, okay, I think I’m just going to settle for the next person I meet because people are gonna think that I’m some societal leper if I’m not married at 30.” – Julia Mazur.
Julia believes living true to yourself is most important. She hopes to have a family someday, but until meeting the right partner, she wants to fully embrace life’s joys as an independent woman.
UNATTACHED AUTUMN (12:23)
Julia is doing a 6-month home swap in Austin. While there, she’s “unattaching” from any expected outcomes – especially around dating and relationships.
For so long, Julia used dating apps trying to find her happily ever after. Now she’s freeing herself from that burden. She’ll put herself in new situations that may not have organically occurred in LA. Julia is open to connecting with people in different ways, with no pressure.
Taking off the societal expectation to be married by a certain age has been exhausting. This move will allow Julia to detach and see what unfolds when she lets go of self-imposed pressures.
BEWARE THE “ICK” (19:08)
Julia talks a lot about how it is easier for the “ick” to take hold in online relationships than in-person ones. “If you think about a friend that you’ve met, and a friend wears a shirt that you don’t like or laughs in a weird way, you give them so much more grace than you would some stranger that you met on a dating app.”
She cautions us to take things slow and be kind in our pursuit of meaningful connections. Placing pressure on a first date to be “the one”, can rob you of the human experience of slowly getting to know someone before deciding if it could work.
Follow Julia Mazur on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pmdpod/ and TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@pmdpod, Check out her podcast: Pretty Much Done
DEAR DAMONA
Our Dear Damona segment is returning next week. Submit your questions on Instagram, X, or Facebook
and hear Damona’s answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:
I’ve also been dating with the intention of meeting someone who I want to have a committed, LTR with. I’ve recently met someone who checks all of my important boxes. We’ve only been on a couple dates, but I’m thinking ahead a bit and wondering how to handle the situation with the trip. Everything is paid for, and I’m committed. If I’m still seeing this potential partner, I’m not sure how to address the situation. I don’t want to lie, either directly or by omission, but I also worry about sabotaging things. On the other hand, I’d be letting my friend down and throwing away a significant amount of money if I skip the trip. What’s your advice?
Halloween Horror Stories: Gambling with Love & Fake Date Fiend
Happy Halloween AND welcome to a shocking episode of Dates & Mates!
In the spirit of All Hallows Eve, this episode is dedicated to ghosting, ghoulish behavior and suspicious situations.
Yes, it’s our annual Halloween Dating Horror Stories episode!
DATING HORROR STORIES IN COLLABORATION WITH REDDIT (1:50)
This year we collaborated with Reddit to find some of the scariest dating disasters and we found some doozies. From a money monster to a fake date fiend, and everything in between, we’ve got some stories to make you laugh off your own dating disasters. Plus Damona gives her expert insights on how you can escape a similar fate. These tales include:
🎃Gambling With Love… (2:26)
🎃Mixed Signal Pickup… (10:25)
🎃Fake Date Fiend… (15:10)
🎃Xanax Zombie… (16:41)
Then, at the end, friend of the pod, Matt Marr, shares his salacious story:
🎃Caught Him Texting During the Deed… (21:28)
DEAR DAMONA
Our Dear Damona segment is returning next week. Submit your questions on Instagram, X, or Facebook to hear Damona’s answers live on the show. 👏
Hidden Love Questions & Happiness Engineering
Have you ever found yourself pondering the twists and turns of your love life, wondering if you’re on the right path, or if there’s even a map to begin with? Perhaps you’re at a crossroads, questioning whether you’re truly in sync with your heart’s desires.
As we have been walking the current cohort of The Dates & Mates Method program through the 5 dating loops and along this journey, we have been hearing just how overwhelming it can feel to unravel the answers to these questions and design a new road map for your love life all at once.
The word of the week is the very same one that we remind the class of every week. It is also the very same word that Damona chose during the Jewish High Holidays as the value to define her year.
Our word of the week is SIMPLICITY
If you find yourself tempted to spiral into overwhelm, remind yourself that you only need to focus on the one thing ahead of you in that moment. Choose to simplify a problem to its essence and take a simple action to get unstuck. Don’t try to do everything all at once.
Our guest today has done some of the heavy lifting for you. He’s looked at the questions that came up for his readers and clients and he’s hand carved a simple path to help you on your love journey.
And he is a bit of a legend around here. Dr. Victor Frank, formerly known as Dr. Ali Binazir, was one of the first guests here on Dates & Mates over 11 years ago.
Dr. Victor Frank (2:03)
Dr. Victor Frank is a Happiness Engineer and behavioral change specialist who has written about love & happiness since 2005.
He has given 3 TEDx talks by invitation and is the creator of the online course “Super Charisma: How to Be a Transformative Speaker”, which was the highest-rated public speaking course on Udemy.
His book, “The Tao of Dating”, was the highest-rated dating book on Amazon for 8 years and his newest book, “The 5 Hidden Love Questions: Radically Simple Strategies to Date Smarter, Own Your Power, and Flourish” is out now!
(5:15) 5 Hidden Love Questions
Dr. Victor’s latest book, “The Five Hidden Love Questions,” is a treasure trove of wisdom. It’s based on patterns he noticed in letters from readers, revolving around five profound questions:
(8:05) Feelings of Inadequacy
We all experience moments where we do not feel like we are enough. Dr. Frank suggests shifting our focus from ourselves to serving others. “A bunch of things happen when you do that. As you are making other people feel great, they light up. When they light up, you light up.” By being a positive presence, we not only improve our own well-being but also attract others to us.
(18:19) Am I The Buyer or the Seller?
“In these socially ambiguous situations, you will do better if you assume the position of the buyer,” says Dr. Frank. By being gently discerning and asking the right questions, we can determine if we’re a good fit with the other person. That may mean you need to do a little research and prepare some questions.
Grab a copy of his book, “The 5 Hidden Love Questions: Radically Simple Strategies to Date Smarter, Own Your Power, and Flourish”, on Amazon and find resources to accompany the book at TaoOfDating.com/resources
And you can access Dr. Victor’s audio meditations at HappinessEngineering.com
DEAR DAMONA
Submit your questions on Instagram, X, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on a future all-Dear Damona episode!
2 Black Girls, 1 Rose & As Seen On TV
The Golden Bachelor premiered a couple weeks ago and the verdict is in – audiences young and mature are eating it up!
We are seeing a shift towards diversity in the casts of our favorite reality dating shows. People are tired of labels and hungry to see love in all its forms. But there is still work to be done in this space…
And that is why our word of the week is REPRESENT
Damona’s yoga teacher and mentor, Rebecca Benenati, always chooses a word of the year and a few years ago, Rebecca shared this message about the meaning of this word for her:
“It is my wish for myself and for everyone to feel strong, clear, honest and safe to authentically represent who we are. Let the words you say be truthful, let the actions you take be mindful and above all hold less fear about saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Now is the time to speak up, speak out and REPRESENT yourself with great quality. This bold concept may mean that others have to look at themselves and isn’t that the beauty of doing our own work. We can rise together to be the best we can be, not by doing more or saying more but by consciously choosing how to best show our hearts to each other.”
As a DEI exec for many years at CBS and NBC, Damona believes that representation matters – being able to relate in some way to the people we hear or see out in the wide world helps us all live a fuller human experience.
2 Black Girls, 1 Rose (3:24)
Justine Kay and Natasha Scott-Reichel, the hosts of the 2 Black Girls, 1 Rose podcast, are on a mission to uncover what we can learn — if anything — about modern dating, love, and relationships from popular television.
Natasha and Justine have recapped all of your favorite shows including The Bachelor franchise, Love Is Blind, Married at First Sight, Perfect Match, Indian Matchmaking, and The Ultimatum: Queer Love.
Their podcast was named one of the 50 Best Podcasts to Listen to Right Now by TIME Magazine. Natasha and Justine have also been featured on ABC and Lifetime and in the Washington Post, the LA Times, and New York Magazine.
(7:25) Golden Bachelor
Natasha talks about the amount of content that is available to people and how it is forcing networks to be more innovative. She adds that the Golden Bachelor has been teased for almost 4 years and that there has always been an excitement for it. “The audience is getting older and they need to feel reflected in it.”
Justine says shows like Love Is Blind made way for more cast diversity in the Golden Bachelor. “Love Is Blind, having their first and only king and queen of the franchise be an interracial couple, and be a black woman and a white man, they’re paving the way.”
(12:43) The First Black Bachelor
Natasha breaks down why she thinks the first black bachelor was done all wrong. “They gave us Matt James but we never got to know him. He never spoke on being a Black man – a Black man dating, a Black man living in the South, a Black man with a White mother. Maybe he had those conversations, and they edited them out, but that’s the problem.”
(22:00) Love Comes In Many Forms
Damona talks about how some daters falsely believe that if they date someone like them, it will make it easier for them to connect. “It can be a missed opportunity when it is supposed to be a time of discovery.”
Justine shares how the differences between her and her husband have been learning experiences. “We could not be more opposite and the way that we learn from each other daily is an incredible thing.”
Nathasha adds, “Some people might have it in their head that they know exactly what love will look like and who it will come from, but that’s doing a disservice to yourself.”
Follow Natasha and Justine on Instagram @2BlackGirls1Rose and check out the 2 Black Girls, 1 Rose podcast wherever you listen to Dates & Mates!
DEAR DAMONA
Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on a future all-Dear Damona episode!
Profile Punchup & Text-Speak
We don’t have to tell you that dating today is nothing like it was for our parents. Texting, dating apps, and DMs have forever changed the game and we think it’s safe to say that we are all having to adapt rather quickly. As we’re learning new skills in this arena every day it can sometimes be overwhelming and we may be tempted to push the whole thing away. No more apps, no more texting, no more dating, just no.
But there are ways to reduce your communication stress and stay in the dating game long enough to meet someone who peaks your interest.
And that is why our word of the week is PROCESS.
When we look at dating as a process and not something that happens by happenstance, we can better chart our path.
Our guest today, Erika Ettin, did that herself many years ago and now she does it for thousands of fans, listeners, followers, and clients.
ERIKA ETTIN (2:05)
Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, a consulting company that helps people navigate the world of online dating. A Little Nudge has been featured in media around the country, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR, CBS, and Ask Men.
She is also the author of the book Love at First Site and the co-host of the dating podcast So, We Met Online…
LAY DOWN SOME MESSAGE BAIT (7:40)
Like Damona’s 3 C’s, Erika has some guidelines to the photos in your dating profile, starting with, only post 5:
Erika breaks down the idea of message bait, “basically someone can ask you a question about it. They feel brilliant because they have asked you a relevant question, but really you are the brilliant one, because you planted it!”
ONLY ONE FIRST IMPRESSION (13:31)
Text speak is when you abbreviate words and phrases in text like HBU, WBU, U. “When somebody uses text speak, it automatically makes the conversation more casual and more casual for more people means it might veer into the sexual.”
Erika says that you only get one first impression, so write in a way that represents your intelligence.
WHAT TO SAY IN A FIRST MESSAGE (20:13)
Erika offers some scripts to make your first message cute and stress free:
She explains that it’s as simple as picking up on something in your matches profile and then adding a little humor.
Damona shares her first message approach – a comment + a question.
CONVERT MATCHES TO DATES (30:24)
Many daters complain that staying in the app once a connection is made is a pain, but Erika says it’s the key to high match to date conversion rates. Her formula:
According to Erika, “60% of dates no longer happen if you exchange numbers before you have set the time, date and location of the date because there is no more urgency and sometimes a false sense of urgency.”
Follow Erika Ettin on Instagram @ErikaEttin and sign up for her coaching programs at www.alittlenudge.com/coaching_d/!
DEAR DAMONA
Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on a future all-Dear Damona episode!
LA Times: Speed dating is having a renaissance…
There’s a myriad of benefits for speed dating: You have to get dressed only once for multiple dates, catfishing isn’t an issue like on dating apps, safety is less of a concern because you’ll be with other people in a public place, and the dates are quick (which is great if you’re not feeling a romantic vibe). But above all, relationship experts agree that rapid dating gives you the opportunity to get back into the groove, especially if you’ve been out of the game for a while.
Click here to check out why speed dating events are hot in LA, then check out this article for Damona’s tips on having a successful speed dating experience…
Age Gap Crap & Solo Mom
Love knows no boundaries, and yet, inequities can rear their ugly heads, even in the realm of romance. It might appear in the form of someone who refuses to date people their age or someone who refuses to date people outside of their race. No matter the origin, it’s important that you don’t allow it to hold you back.
The word of the week is AUTHENTICITY.
Authenticity is your superpower. Embracing who you really are is far more rewarding than trying to fit a mold.
So be yourself! Step into your true self at any age, any race, any religion. Step into your true relationship goals whether it includes another person, more than one person, or even a child who can help you achieve the goal of being a parent.
Our guest today – Rachel Russo – will inspire us all to trust that our authentic selves are lovable, and to set relationship goals that are realistic and inspiring for us.
RACHEL RUSSO (3:17)
Rachel Russo has been working full-time as a matchmaker and dating & relationship coach for eighteen years through her boutique matchmaking and relationship coaching company, Rachel Russo Relationships.
Fun fact: She’s also a solo mom by choice and she is loving mom and entrepreneur life!
CHERRY PICKING CLIENTS (5:14)
Rachel talks about the trend in dating culture and society which seems to devalue women as they age. “The men that are coming to me in the matchmaking world are wanting to date significantly younger women, and when it’s like 20 plus years, I’m not onboard.”
And with such a significant career, Rachel is able to pick and choose who she’d like to work with. “I mean I can really work with anyone professionally that is respectful and has reasonable criteria, but they don’t always align with my own values, so I’m trying to draw that line in the sand.”
PROBLEMATIC AGE GAPS (6:12)
Rachel describes how she approaches older men who come to her looking for matches 20 years younger. “So I would tell them to put yourself in the shoes of the women that you want to date. In my case, I am the age that they want to date, but guess what, my dad is 72. So why do I want to date you when I can date someone who’s a more reasonable age difference?”
In the end, Rachel turns these clients away with the honest answer that she doesn’t have a database of women who are willing to date that large of an age gap.
SOLO MOM LIFE (23:02)
Rachel believes that being a solo mom can positively impact women’s love lives. “It’s so empowering. It takes the pressure off, they’re happy, and they got what they want. Now they can find someone on their terms.”
However, Rachel’s dating life is currently on hold. “I’ve decided to delay dating until she’s three. I was doing everything to have this baby and I want to put equal effort into finding a partner.”
Follow Rachel Russo on Instagram @Rachel.Russo and sign up for her registry at RachelRusso.com!
DEAR DAMONA
Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on a future all-Dear Damona episode!
Dear Damona: Vision of Love & Sue’s Story
If you joined the “F the Fairy Tale” Challenge last week, you might’ve heard a lot about mindset work while dating. But, we can only see a continuous shift in our mindset when we take action.
So with that, the word of the week is ACTION.
We’re back with another round of questions for this all-Dear Damona episode, AND a special appearance. Damona will be joined by her client, Sue, to share how she learned to love again after losing her husband in 2021 – and why you should never give up on love.
DEAR DAMONA (4:00)
Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on our next all-Dear Damona episode!
**Vision boards can be a really great tool for visualization or for helping you see what you want more clearly. Check out this Vision Board minisode for Damona’s tips on how to make yours!
SUE’S STORY (28:40)
Damona’s client, Sue, talks about how she learned to love again after losing her husband in 2021 and why you should never give up on love.
Unorthodox Dating & Newly Single
We had so much fun bringing you all the “F the Fairy Tale Challenge” last week. We connected with so many of you on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook AND our brand new (well, technically reinvented) Youtube channel! (Check out the Dates & Mates Youtube channel here…)
And with that, today’s word of the week is REINVENTION.
There are certain pivotal moments in our lives. Little windows open up for us to peer inside our hearts and ask, what do we truly want? And are we living life in alignment with our goals and values?
In the face of these challenges, we find our true strength through reinvention. It’s a beacon of hope that says, “You are not defined by your past, but by the potential of your future.” To embrace reinvention is to become the authors of our own narratives. It’s the fuel for personal growth and transformation.
This week, let the word “reinvention” inspire you to chase dreams, break boundaries, and shatter limitations. Go for what you know in your heart is meant for you. If you’re listening today, on the precipice of a reinvention of your relationship future or any other aspect of your life, our guest is the perfect person for you to hear from.
JULIA HAART (2:25)
Julia Haart is a fashion designer, entrepreneur and the current CEO of Elite World Group, a fashion talent management group. However, Julia started out in a very different place in life. She was raised in an ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and was married off to a man she barely knew at a young age. That marriage ruled her life for 23 years before she gained the courage to leave.
Julia joins Dates & Mates today to talk about how she went from ultra orthodox long sleeves to designing lingerie, and how to find your voice and power in a relationship.
(6:41) Shifting into body confidence.
Julia goes into her orthodox background, including the three laws that defined her life for years. Her transition into body empowerment, and consequently starting her lingerie brand, was inspired when her 5-year old daughter asked why their religion wouldn’t allow her to play soccer with the other kids.
(18:12) Don’t take freedom for granted.
Julia details what it was like to start dating for the first time at 52-years old. “The first like nine months, it was more about self discovery than dating. I didn’t really date.” For Julia, one of the most important transitions was experiencing her own sexual freedom for the first time.
Julia also explains what she’s learned since being on My Unorthodox Life in 2022.
(25:05) Gardeners & flowers…
Damona and Julia talk about what it takes to really create change in your life, and deprogram old beliefs that aren’t serving you anymore. Julia also offers a metaphor that says everyone is either a gardener or a flower. “Gardeners are the people who take care, they nurture, they feed, they support, they help. Flowers are the people that say give me, give me, give me everything… I would like someone who gardens some of the time, and doesn’t always say ‘give me.’”
You can follow Julia on Instagram @JuliaHaart AND you can learn more about her sexy shapewear by visiting BodyByJuliaHaart.com.
DEAR DAMONA
Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on a future all-Dear Damona episode!