Hello Giggles: How to talk to your partner about sex

This week, I talked to Ashley Uzer at Hello Giggles about communication and sex. Your partner is not a mind reader! You need to be open with them about what you need – especially when it comes to kinky sex.

Start small”

You probably don’t pull out all your sexual stops on the first date, right? Same theory goes for rolling out your toolkit of kinky fantasies.

“Start with mentioning something that turns you on and then ask him how he feels about it, and if it’s something he’d be up for trying,” suggests Hoffman. “You don’t want to bring all 50 shades out the first time you have sex.”

Read the rest of my advice on Hello Giggle HERE!

Domino: Is your home affecting your relationship?

I’ve been thinking a lot about how homes affect relationships. Here’s an article with Domino on the unexpected ways your environment affects your relationship.

“Most couples who move in together learn to adapt to their partner’s quirks. They’ll get the mail when their S.O. forgets, let them have control of the remote when their show is on, or blow out a candle when they accidentally leave it burning. Sure, they might also begrudgingly clean up after their partner’s messes to avoid arguments—and eventually those little annoyances could blow up into a bigger fight. ”

Click HERE to read my tips!

Nice Guys & F Boys

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THE ADVICE YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR BUT NEED TO HEAR

As a dating coach of 15 years, Damona’s made it her mission to show you how to date for a long-term commitment. But this week we got to thinking – what can daters learn from people who aren’t looking for “a last first kiss”?

Enter Clint Coley, comedian behind the podcast, “Advice From A Fuckboy.” (shocking, I know.)

DATING DISH (2:30)

Have you been dogfished?

Have you ever swiped right on someone because they had a cute god in their pictures? You have been dogfished! Damona and Clint break it down.

Jamie Foxx teaches us all about relationship rebounds

Jamie and Katie call it quits and he’s already on to the next. Was Kate getting the 7 year itch? Damona has thoughts.

Can men and women really have platonic relationships?

The Atlantic covers a new study that suggests that men and women may not be able to have platonic relationships. Clint has strong opinions about this one.

Advice from a F***Boy

Dating advice from a man with no relationship goals

Damona and Clint have some VERY different opinions about dating but it makes for great conversation.

They talk:

  • Hot Take: The only dating app that’s not a hookup app is Bumble
  • What is a “nice guy”?
  • Do nice guys finish last?
  • What does it mean to be a good woman?
  • What do YOU bring to the table in dating?
  • I’m a good woman, but I’m still single. Why?

Make sure to check out Clint’s Podcast, Advice from A Fuckboy!

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to handle being ghosted by someone you were really vibing with
  • What to do when your  ex reaches out to 

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Body Confidence & Mojo Makeover

WOULD DATING BE EASIER IF WE WERE MORE BODY CONFIDENT?

Is it time you got your mojo back?

We get REAL on Dates & Mates this week. Damona says, “Some days I don’t feel great about my body. Maybe you can relate? But I figured that if I opened up and faced my true feelings about my body image, it might help you and I become more body positive together.”

We sat down with Dana B Meyers, the Queen of Mojo Makeovers, and Laurie DiBiasio, CEO of Babe You Lingerie, to talk about body confidence and self love.

This episode is all about:

  • Finding body confidence at every life stage or size
  • Building sensuality with another person
  • Spicing up your Love Life (don’t worry, it doesn’t get graphic and uncomfortable)

Here’s the rundown:

Damona’s Story (1:30)

Body Positivity is hard at any age

Your partner wants you to love your body as much as they do (7:30)

Stop deflecting compliments! (8:30)

Dana’s method to transforming NEGATIVE BODY BANTER into a SEXY SELF LOVE AFFIRMATION (9:45)

“If I just lost 10 pounds, I will find love” (16:00)

Building sensuality with another person (19:00)

Especially if you’ve been out of the game for a while or if you and your partner need to spice it up

Choose Babe You! With Laurie DiBiasio (33:00)

Why Lingerie should be visible (34:00)

The hourglass shape has historically been the most desirable shape (36:00)

Do things change when you see someone in a more intimate situation for the first time? (38:00)

We like feeling beautiful – not just for other people! (43:00)

DATES & MATES DEALS: #GETPAID

Get PAID to listen to podcasts through PODCOIN! Get 300 podcoin now by using the code DatesAndMates

Soulmates & Mystical Matchmaking

IS YOUR SOULMATE OUT THERE?

Today on the fourth episode in the Summer Love Series, we are talking about the search for soulmates. Do they exist? How do you know if you’ve found your soulmate?

Marla Martenson, The Mystical Matchmaker, joins Damona to debate these questions. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH 

Why millennials are into slow love and you should be too

According to Damona’s personal fav, Dr. Helen Fisher, the road to marriage is changing. Damona and Marla Martenson break it down. 

Are you guilty of these summer fashion faux pas?

Damona and Marla have thoughts on this list from Plenty of Fish.

It’s Wedding Season! 

Damona tests your knowledge on appropriate guest etiquette

ARE YOU ATTRACTING YOUR SOULMATE?

Everything you need to know about soulmates and how to find them!

You know Damona. She’s a little skeptical about the whole soulmates concept, but we really liked a lot of the thoughts that Marla contributed to the conversation.

Even if your soulmate does exist, are you going to be prepared to receive their love?

From Marla’s perspective, you have to be open to working on yourself in order to attract the love you are looking for. Even if your soulmate is sitting right in front of you, you won’t be able to truly connect with them until you have healed from your past relationship traumas and are ready to love. 

How do you heal? Marla has some interesting suggestions on today’s episode! We also talk: 

  • Breaking down the mysticism of “soulmates”
  • Are you attracting the wrong kind of dates?
  • How does mystical matchmaking work?
  • And so much more!

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you don’t want to miss this episode!

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should you date a girl who’s a little woo woo and is vegan?
  • How do you get back in the dating game?
  • What do you do if your girlfriend is ready for marriage but you aren’t?

Fireworks & Creating Chemistry

SUBSCRIBE NOW ON YOUR FAVE PODCAST PLATFORM!

MAKE FIREWORKS WITH YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE

Today on my third episode in the Summer Love Series, we are making fireworks in honor of 4th of July.

Gina Gutierrez, CEO of Dipsea, an app providing sexy audio storytelling for women by women, joins me to talk about passion and building chemistry

Buckle up, folks! This is our steamiest episode yet! 

D’S DATING DISH 

Studies show your partner may not be as smart as you think

According to the latest research, it turns out we consistently overestimate our loved one’s IQs and our own. OUCH.

 

Chelsea Handler has had a change of heart!

Chelsea Handler recently decided that it isn’t weak to want a relationship. Why this sudden change of heart? Damona and Producer Leah have thoughts. 

Signs your date doesn’t want to see you again

In case you have some trouble reading the signs, Damona breaks it down. 

How To Build Chemistry

A guide to learning what turns you on!

As an entrepreneur focused on the need for content tailored to women’s specific needs, Gina finds a lot of women need help to figure out what turns them on. 

“Inspiration is a really important paradigm or experience,” Gina says. If you need some extra inspiration to get you feeling in the mood, approachable, accessible, sexy content is Gina’s solution to building great chemistry with your special someone. 

On today’s episode, we also talk: 

  • Finding your sexuality at your own pace
  • What to do if your “on ramp” is different from your partner’s
  • Why erotica and porn don’t always meet women’s needs
  • How we are stimulated by audio content

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, Gina gives some GREAT tips on how to spice up the chemistry this holiday week!

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to move offline into a date IRL
  • Should you worry about your boyfriend’s drinking habits? 
  • What is the acceptable amount of time to wait before you text someone?

Memorial Day & Military Spouses

Thank You!

Memorial Day means a lot more than an unofficial start of summer, cookouts, and a day off from work. Today we celebrate girlfriends and spouses who are impacted by loved ones in the service.

Wait!! Before you think, “This doesn’t apply to me” – Think again! Have you ever experienced a long distance relationship? Or chose to sacrifice for the benefit of your partner’s career?

Today we are joined by four brave women who detail what it’s like to love a military man. Theresa Laux, Kate McAuley, Kayelee Pepper, Ashley Garlow all have their own lives, aspirations and unique backgrounds.

We talk about A LOT:

  • The surprising way Theresa met her husband (DEFINITELY not what you think)
  • The extra person in a relationship: The US Military
  • Moving A LOT
  • Negotiating and Compromise: How to keep sight of your own professional goals
  • Motherhood as a full time student
  • Making sure your kids get the best education
  • How not to resent your husband when his job prevents you from your goals

THANK YOU to all these women who educated us on what it’s like to love a military service member. We salute you!

 

Look for listener questions in a new Dear Damona special episode this Thursday!

Self Love & Vulnerability

Love Yourself First

Have you ever heard the phrase, “You have to love yourself before you can love someone else”?

If you remember a few episodes ago titled “Marriage Boot Camp & Bad Advice,” Dr. V’s opinion was that you can’t love yourself in the same way that your partner would love you. Which is true.

BUT it got us thinking: there is some value in being able to understand yourself and take care of yourself in order to be more prepared for a healthier relationship. We dedicated this episode to understanding self love as it relates to dating with Jonathon Aslay. Here’s the rundown:

 

D’S DATING DISH

Wendy Williams is dating after filing for divorce

The divorce has finally happened! Should Wendy be dating already after her divorce? Damona and Jonathon have thoughts.

A new way to teach millennials how to date

CNN reports that South Korea is teaching university students how to date through a “Gender and Culture” class. Is this the most effective way to teach dating? Damona breaks it down.

Match announces a new service, a one-on-one phone call with an expert dating coach

Match is personalizing the world of online dating! What does this mean for you?

GO LOVE YOURSELF

Jonathon is America’s leading Midlife relationships expert and he has just published a fantastic guide to self love as it relates to dating called, “What the Heck is Self Love Anyway?”

Self love is an antidote to potential chaos,” Jonathon explains.

Chaos in your life is going to come in a variety of forms – whether it’s a relationship transition, job stress, family stress, etc.

“You have to learn to take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else,” Jonathon explains. A good self love and personal development practice will help you be ready for your next relationship.

In this episode, Jonathon explains:

  • How to allow yourself to feel your feelings
  • How to begin a daily personal development practice
  • How to “Shift away from the mundane and fill your own cup with love.”

Get Jonathon’s book today!

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to be vulnerable again in a relationship?
  • Why not talk about politics, religion, and money on a first date?
  • How do you get motivated to date again?

GETTING GLAMMED UP FOR A DATE?

Have a hot date this weekend or another event that you want to glam it up for? Let Glamsquad help you out with Damona’s code! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 off your first service with my special code Damona20.

Tough Conversations & Relationship Transitions

LOVE IN A TIME OF CRISIS

This week on Dates & Mates, we go deeper into communicating what you need in a partner during tough transitions in your life. Many of us have been in a situation where there’s something you want to communicate but it’s a scary conversation. We dedicated this to making these scary conversations a little less daunting with married dating and relationship coaches Laurie Davis Edwards and Thomas Edwards. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (3:11)

Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx’s red carpet relationship debut (Finally!!)

The two have been rumored to be dating since 2013. Why did they wait until now to debut their relationship publically? Laurie, Thomas, and Damona have thoughts.

What do you do if you see a co-worker on a dating app?

Business Insider explains what to do if you find a co-worker on a dating app. Damona breaks it down.

Do you believe in soulmates?

According to a 2013 poll by Marist college, 73% of Americans believe soul mates exist. Are you one of them? Interestingly enough, Laurie and Thomas have conflicting viewpoints on this.

TOUGH TRANSITIONS (14:00)

Have you ever had to have a tough conversation with a partner, but didn’t know how? Enter Thomas Edwards and Laurie Davis Edwards, who have recently had this same problem. Last year, they underwent a tough transition in their marriage. You may know them individually as successful dating, relationship, and lifestyle coaches.

Thomas helps professional men find the life they are meant to live in four key areas – Love, Lifestyle, Leadership and Legacy. His wife, Laurie Davis Edwards is the founder of The Worthy One, a coaching company that empowers women to fall in love with themselves and their soulmate.

Right after the birth of their daughter, Thomas and Laurie experienced intense personal transitions. From experience, I can tell you that a newborn baby is a HUGE transition. On top of this, Thomas and Laurie were already going through personal and professional transitions that put strains on their relationship.

“I was going through an identity crisis,” he explains. “I suffered a lot of trauma from the realization that I’m going to be a father. What I experienced was actually grief around the death of my identity.”

At the same time, Laurie was dealing with trauma of her own. “My transition was more about being the one who has to hold it all together,” she says. As she dealt with the pressures of being a new mom, she also tried to keep her relationship from falling apart.

Laurie opens up about reaching a breaking point and gathering up the courage to be honest with Thomas about how their relationship wasn’t working.

They open up about things like:

  • Meeting through Twitter
  • Long Distance Relationships
  • Moving across country together
  • How a baby changes your relationship
  • Where did problems arrive
  • How to have tough conversations with your partner
  • And so much more!

Be prepared because this conversation gets DEEP!

TECHNICALLY DATING (44:15)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • how to be confident while dating outside your race
  • How relevant do you think astrology is to compatibility?
  • What do modern women want?

GETTING GLAMMED UP FOR A DATE?

Have a hot date this weekend or another event that you want to glam it up for? Let Glamsquad help you out with Damona’s code! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 off your first service with my special code Damona20.

Dear Damona: DTR & Juggling Dates

DEAR DAMONA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lately, we have been flooded with questions from the Dates & Mates community looking for all kinds of love and dating advice so we dedicated this week’s episode entirely to answering all of your questions! Evin Rose, Millennial Love Life & Dating Coach, returns this episode to help Damona really deep dive into your questions and give you their best advice. We talked about A LOT. Here’s the rundown:

(1:50) Should you tell your friend if his fiance is being manipulative?

Kayleigh from Facebook asks: Dear Damona – I have a friend who is madly in love with a girl from Spain. She is very obviously in not as into him and is definitely manipulative. Recently, she has been panicking about having to move back to Spain and not being able to work here without citizenship. My friend proposed to her because he loves her “so much” and is positive that he wants to marry her. Just from previous conversations I’ve had with her, I KNOW that she is not as into him and is using him to stay in the US. Should I say something to him?  

(4:27) Should you sleep with someone on a third date?

Dear Damona: So I was going on a 3rd date with a guy and the date was ok but since we had physical chemistry I didn’t mind just making out. Then he asked to do it to which I replied no. Then he says he’s not asking for a proposal and he feels rejected and how does he think it makes him feel to be rejected if I say no in the future. I said sleeping with someone too early usually makes them disappear and sure enough, he disappeared. Am I wrong to feel that his explanation is manipulative?

(8:30) If you have a good first date, should you stop talking to the other matches on your dating profile?

Lisa asks: I listen to your podcast and it is so helpful! I just recently started dating again and I’m just wondering what the proper protocol is regarding online dating. I went on a first date yesterday with a guy that I like and could have potential for a LTR. At the same time, I have several messages from other guys in my app that I want to explore. If I feel the person I had the date with had potential, should I stop communicating with other guys on the app? Thank you.

(10:42) When do you have that “Define the Relationship” talk?

(16:50) What is the deal with ghosting?

Jessica emails:What is going on with ghosting. In the last year I’ve been stood up for first dates, dropped after great 3rd dates, and generally treated like trash by the men in LA. I blame dating apps but I’m open to your interpretation. WTF please help!

LOOKING FOR THIS WEEK’S HEADLINES?

Don’t worry! We’ve got you. Damona keeps everyone up to date on this week’s dating headlines on Instagram. This week was a JUICY week for celebrity news. Follow Damona on Instagram (@DamonaHoffman) for the headlines including: did Prince William cheat on Kate? What’s up with Selena Gomez’s love life and Bumbles important new eggplant blocking feature.

 

 

ARE YOU MISSING ALL THE GOOD MATCHES ONLINE?

There are millions of people on dating apps worldwide. If you’re not finding love there, your profile may be the problem. Use Damona’s FREE guide to creating the ultimate MAGNETIC online dating profile. Get the Profile Starter Kit at profilestarterkit.com

The Marriage Minded Man & Fatherly Advice

What can a MARRIED MAN teach you about DATING?

In honor of her 12th wedding anniversary, Damona sits down with a panel of married guys to understand how marriage-minded men find the one and which factors could be keeping people from finding a dream partnership. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (5:09)

Congrats Issa Rae!

Issa Rae’s co-stars have confirmed that she is engaged! She has kept this relationship super under wraps for several reasons. As a celebrity, should she get to pick and choose what aspects of her life she keeps private? Damona has thoughts.

What makes a good match in 2019

Data shows that women have much different expectations of their future husbands than they did in the 1930s. Damona and her father break it down.

How Your High School Friendships Affect Your Relationship

A new study shows that having close, platonic friendships in your teenage years actually impacts how your love life will play out in your late twenties. Damona breaks it down.

THE MIND OF MARRIAGE-MINDED MEN (13:22)

If you’ve been listening to the show for a while, you already know that Damona’s husband Seth’s goal was marriage from the beginning (it only took him 3.5 years to convince her.)

Many of Damona’s single female clients seem to have the impression that most men would play the field forever if they could yet her single male clients have shown that there are a lot of men like Seth whose ultimate goal is to marry, have a family, and be monogamous. Damona’s anniversary got her thinking:

What can single men and women learn from marriage-minded men?

Damona is joined by a very special guest, HER DAD! Dr. Resnick dishes some great fatherly advice about marriage and relationships. Also joining Damona on this panel are two happily married men: content creator Simeon Weinraub and internationally-known comedian Raj Sharma, who share what they learned in singlehood, partnerships, and now marriage.

We talked about A LOT:

  • What marriage-minded men keep on their list
  • The elements of a successful relationship
  • Why are we still divorcing at a 50% rate?
  • Does love at first sight exist?
  • Putting in the work in a relationship to make it work
  • Why you shouldn’t keep a safety net
  • Are relationships work?
  • Anticipating your spouse’s needs and building together
  • STOP going for the Bad Boy
  • And so much more!

TECHNICALLY DATING (39:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What happens when you lose a loving relationship because of a dating app addiction?
  • How to sort matches when you’re dating with a disability

HATE GYMS?

Damona always says that working out has greatly improved her relationship with her body. Begin a program with BeachBody on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

Best of Dates & Mates

THE GANG IS BACK TOGETHER!

This week, the Dates & Mates gang gets back together for a trip down memory lane. Ray Christian, Producer J, and Producer Natasha join Damona in studio to talk about their favorite past show moments.

They talk Bad Kissers, Good Exes, what your fridge says about you, and why hook up culture isn’t biologically viable for women.

DAMONA’S FAVS (1:00)

Damona shares some of her favorite show moments with guests Bridget Marquart, Torrei Hart, eHarmony CEO Grant Langston, Aarti Sequera, and Hinge CEO Justin McLeod.

235 in iTunes – Playboy Playmate Bridget Marquart

149 in iTunes – eHarmony CEO Grant Langston

229 in iTunes – Aarti Sequeira

Hinge CEO Justin McLeod on YouTube

THE BEST OF DATES & MATES (6:41)

(6:43) Natasha’s Dating Habits have changed A LOT. Do you date the same way you did 6 years ago?

199 in iTunes – Natasha’s dating habits & Tariq Nasheed

(13:08) Producer J brings back Body Language for Men

163 in iTunes – Hootie & Body Language for Men

(17:23) Ray’s Rant

Bad Kissers on YouTube

(22:08) Get Your Barf Bags Ready! Producer J remembers the ickiest Romance Rollback we’ve ever had on the show

131 in iTunes – The Apple of My Armpit

(24:22) Can you tell how dateable a person is by what’s in their fridge?

223 in iTunes- Check Your Fridge

(32:00) Why hook up culture is not evolutionarily viable for women

165 in iTunes – Dr. Duana Welch & The Biology of Hookup Culture

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • When do you share important information about your lifestyle with the women you’re dating?
  • Is it controlling if your boyfriend has a lot of comments about your outfits?

RAY’S LAST RANT

Ray closes the show with one final Ray’s Rant about not taking everything so seriously. You ALL know that Producer J had a rebuttal.

HATE GYMS?

Damona always says that working out has greatly improved her relationship with her body. Begin a program with Beach Body on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

 

Follow Ray on Instagram. Producers J and Natasha don’t have social media but you can show them love in the Dates & Mates reviews!