Argument Addiction & Chemistry Lies

Chemistry is a LIAR

Today’s episode is all about Identifying past relationship patterns is crucial to restructuring your dating strategy to find success. 

DATING DISH (1:50)

Does your wedding budget predict your chances at divorce?

According to Novi Money, if you spend $1000 or less, you are more likely to get divorced within 10 years. Damona and Producer Leah discuss.

#NationalCourtshipDay 

Do you remember the Duggars? Apparently they’re trying to make #NationalCourtshipDay happen. What is the difference between courtship and dating?

Demi Moore spills the tea on her marriage with Ashton Kutcher

Should he respond? Damona and Producer Leah break it down.

Argument & Chemistry Addiction (15:00)

Silent but Deadly Relationship Killers

We’ve said it many times but will say it again: Identifying past relationship patterns is crucial to restructuring your dating strategy to find success.

In Damona’s own personal dating journey, she had to overcome an addiction

I had an addiction to “chemistry.” She LOVED that serotonin rush she got from a new connection and equated conflict with “passion.” But none of these relationships worked.

As it turns out, this is really common. Dr. Phillip Lee, notable marital therapist and co-head of the Cornell Medical Center, joins us today to break it down.

According to his new book, Argument Addiction, co-authored with his wife, our biological predisposition to chemistry addiction can make stable relationships difficult.

But there is a solution! Drs. Lee and Rudolph have unlocked the secrets to successful relationships through their extensive research. We cover:

  • What is Argument Addiction?
  • Chemistry is a LIAR
  • Chemistry hangovers (don’t blame the tequila!)
  • How to know when to call it quits
  • The difference between Happy Couples and Struggling Couples

Get your copy of Argument Addiction and be sure to follow Drs. Lee and Phillip on Twitter (@ArgumentBook) and Instragram (@ArgumentAddictionBook)

TECHNICALLY DATING (30:20)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What does it mean to be too picky in dating?
  • Is your man really your man if he’s still on dating apps?

Dating Fatigue & Dumbing it Down

Have you ever wanted to give up on dating?

Today’s episode is all about dating fatigue and finding purpose in dating with author, Kacie Main!

DATING DISH (2:30)

Do ladies dumb themselves down to date?

According to Mirror UK new study shows that 37% of women feel that men are intimidated by their intellect. Damona and Kacie have thoughts.

One trick to get a second date

Daily Mail reports that saying your dates name multiple times may be the key to getting a second date.

Plenty of Fish has banned filtered photos! 

What exactly does this mean? Damona and Kacie break it down.

A Drastic Solution to Dating Fatigue

Giving Up Men for Lent & Finding Purpose in Dating

We’ve talked about dating fatigue on Dates & Mates in the past, but have you ever been so burnt out on it that you decided to quit the dating game entirely?

Kacie Main did. In 2017, she got so burnt out on searching for love after a string of questionable decisions, that she decided to hit the reset button and give up men for lent (about 40 days.)

A little drastic, maybe?

Maybe not, it turns out! I loved hearing about Kacie’s journey from what she calls “dating desperation” to really understanding and finding her purpose in dating.

We go in-depth on dating fatigue and also cover:

  • Does dating occupy too much of your mental space?
  • Are you the victim or the villain of your dating life?
  • Should men be threatened by this? 
  • Also consider taking a break from alcohol, baby showers, and friends of the opposite sex. (wait, baby showers???)

You can find Kacie at kaciemain.com! Make sure to get a copy of her book “I Gave Up Men For Lent: The story of a jaded, hopelessly romantic, health-conscious party girl’s search for meaning” on Amazon!

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to know if they’re telling you the truth on dating apps?
  • What to do when you get really aggressive comments about your body on dating apps?
  • How to pick up a dating app convo if it’s gone cold?

Master Class: Dating App Dos And Don’ts

A Comprehensive Guide To Dating Apps

Everything you need to know about dating’s latest developments

There have been so many changes in the dating landscape even just this month! Are you up to speed?

On this week’s episode of Dates & Mates, Damona gives a masterclass on dating app dos and don’ts, especially for Facebook’s NEW dating app.

We know what you’re thinking! ANOTHER DATING APP?!

But today, Damona gives you a step by step assessment of what might be wrong in your dating plan so you don’t feel the frustration of keeping up with all the new developments in dating.

TOP 5 Dating App Problems (2:39)

  • The Profile Problem
  • The Pickiness Problem (7:20)
  • The Sit Back & Wait Problem (10:00)
  • The Dating Pool Problem (12:30)
  • The Dating Strategy Problem (15:25)

 

PLUS, did you know that the latest studies on the marriage market show that there is a shortage of men with marriageable qualities? (21:00)

Damona covers this study published in the Journal of Marriage & Family  and gives you the rundown and goes in-depth on:

  • Are you pricing yourself out of the marriage market? (22:00)
  • What men and women can learn from this data (25:00)
  • How to solve your marriage market problems (26:00)

 

Facebook Dating is Here! (30:00)

  • Step By Step Tutorial (31:00)
  • Why This is a Game Changer (40:00)

 

If you or anyone you know is overwhelmed by dating today, don’t miss this episode! 

DATES & MATES DEALS: THE PROFILE STARTER KIT

Get your FREE Profile Starter Kit TODAY! Profilestarterkit.com

Bonus reading materials: Damona in Essence and Shondaland 

Want to get on the VIP list for the 30 Day Dating Playbook? Click here!

If you want a more in-depth step-by-step tutorial on Facebook Dating, find @alittlenudge on Instagram here!

Modern Fairytales & FOMO

DATING IN THE DIGITAL AGE

Have you ever logged on to Instagram and it seems like everyone and their mom is getting engaged? Is Instagram-related relationship FOMO impacting your dating life?

On this week’s episode of Dates & Mates, I talk with Hannah Orenstein, Senior Dating Editor at Elite Daily and author of the new novel, Playing With Matches. 

DATING DISH (1:58)

What is sexy-poor?

Do poor men actually have an advantage in dating? D’Marge thinks so.

What you can learn from polyamory?

A recent study on polyamorous couples reveals interesting insights for sexuality. Damona and Hannah break it down. 

Everything that is wrong with your dating profile

Damona’s dating profile tips were featured in Shondaland! Damona and Hannah discuss.

Are #relationshipgoals ruining dating? (14:00)

How social comparison affects your relationships

Hannah writes a lot about how the pressures of social media impact dating today. Are you really living your best life if it’s not on Instagram?

Yes you can! Hannah and I had a great discussion about social comparison and how it affects dating today.

We go in-depth on:

  • What to do if you and your partner have different social media habits
  • What modern fairytales look like
  • What is “sexy-poor” and why should it matter?
  • What to do if your date never asks you questions about yourself?

TECHNICALLY DATING (26:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What should you do if your date doesn’t ask you questions about yourself?
  • If the don’t bother to fill out a bio, swipe left?
  • Should you wait for someone who’s working on the 12 step program?

The Game of Desire & Dating With Dominance

HOW TO WIN THE GAME OF DESIRE

Shan Boodram - The Game of Desire

Season 7 is HERE!

Modern love has changed DRASTICALLY since I first started the Dates & Mates Podcast 7 years ago but I’m committed to continuing to keep you up to speed on the latest news, tip, and techniques in the dating game.

Speaking of dating, do you ever feel like finding love is just game of cat & mouse between men and women? 

Then you’ll want to hear from, SHAN BOODY, sexologist and intimacy expert behind The Game of Desire. She performed a study on how to come out on top in the game of love. Can you actually learn to be more attractive?

Apparently you can! Her book, The Game of Desire is revolutionary in so many ways and I’m thrilled to finally have her on the show after watching her business grow the last couple of years.

We give you the skinny on:

  • High Interest Playmates vs Low Interest Playmates
  • Tips to becoming your most desireable self
  • Dating Studies & Stats you NEED to know
  • Shan’s 5 Step Program for becoming your most desireable self
  • Should you ask your ex for a “Relationship Yelp Review”?

 

If you haven’t already shared Dates & Mates with a friend, now is the time! I have a goal of doubling our reach this season so we can help more people and heal more hearts.

Make sure you and a friend are both subscribed to Dates & Mates this season on your favorite podcast platform so you don’t miss any of the info-rich, entertaining episodes that I have lined up for you this season. 

 

DATES & MATES DEALS: START DATING NOW!

Damona will announce details about her 30 Day Dating Playbook Program re-release on the show later this month. If you want to get into this premium online-led dating course, The 30 Day Dating Playbook Program, CLICK HERE to get on the early interest list for a special deal.

via GIPHY

Nice Guys & F Boys

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THE ADVICE YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR BUT NEED TO HEAR

As a dating coach of 15 years, Damona’s made it her mission to show you how to date for a long-term commitment. But this week we got to thinking – what can daters learn from people who aren’t looking for “a last first kiss”?

Enter Clint Coley, comedian behind the podcast, “Advice From A Fuckboy.” (shocking, I know.)

DATING DISH (2:30)

Have you been dogfished?

Have you ever swiped right on someone because they had a cute god in their pictures? You have been dogfished! Damona and Clint break it down.

Jamie Foxx teaches us all about relationship rebounds

Jamie and Katie call it quits and he’s already on to the next. Was Kate getting the 7 year itch? Damona has thoughts.

Can men and women really have platonic relationships?

The Atlantic covers a new study that suggests that men and women may not be able to have platonic relationships. Clint has strong opinions about this one.

Advice from a F***Boy

Dating advice from a man with no relationship goals

Damona and Clint have some VERY different opinions about dating but it makes for great conversation.

They talk:

  • Hot Take: The only dating app that’s not a hookup app is Bumble
  • What is a “nice guy”?
  • Do nice guys finish last?
  • What does it mean to be a good woman?
  • What do YOU bring to the table in dating?
  • I’m a good woman, but I’m still single. Why?

Make sure to check out Clint’s Podcast, Advice from A Fuckboy!

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to handle being ghosted by someone you were really vibing with
  • What to do when your  ex reaches out to 

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Good News You Can Use!

Can I share some good news with you?

The Dates & Mates Community is finding TRUE LOVE
It’s been a great month

I don’t like to brag, but I’m giving myself a pat on the back this month. TWO Dates & Mates couples are on their journey to happily ever after!If you watched my tv show, A Question of Love on A+E Networks, you know that we put 3 relationships to the test and helped them explore the insecurities that might be hurting their relationship.

During this time, Nicky was really open and honest about the trust issues she had with men. For her entire life, she watched men leave her grandmother, mother, and aunts.

She was convinced that she would not break the pattern. All of these past disappointments almost led her to lose Jamie, the man that genuinely wanted to prove that he was going to be around forever.

Her trust issues almost killed their relationship! Here’s a short peek at their relationship journey!

Nicky & Jamie’s Relationship Journey on FYI’s A Question of Love from Damona on Vimeo.

I’m so happy for Nicky and Jamie! They were wonderful to work with on the show and I wish them a lifetime of love and happiness!

Also CONGRATS TO ALICE AND HER BAE!

Broadening your horizons really works!

Alice is a long-time listener of Dates & Mates and she’s applied some advice that I gave on the show to make a match:

Are you ready for your love story to begin?

In a few weeks I’ll be launching a new and improved version of my 30 Day Dating Playbook and since you’re part of my VIP community, I’d like to give you access to get EARLY ACCESS the to join the program before registration opens up to the general public. I’ll also through in a special VIP discount for you too.

In a nutshell, The 30 Day Dating Playbook is 30 days of video, audio, tutorials and quick start tips that you can start using right away! You’ll discover things like:

  • The #1 most important quality that attracts the opposite sex
  • What’s gone wrong in your past relationships and how to fix that in the future
  • How to actually enjoy dating and make meaningful connections

If you want into the VIP Early Access list, all you have to do is click this link and look out for an email from me with registration details in a couple weeks!

CLICK HERE!

Body Confidence & Mojo Makeover

WOULD DATING BE EASIER IF WE WERE MORE BODY CONFIDENT?

Is it time you got your mojo back?

We get REAL on Dates & Mates this week. Damona says, “Some days I don’t feel great about my body. Maybe you can relate? But I figured that if I opened up and faced my true feelings about my body image, it might help you and I become more body positive together.”

We sat down with Dana B Meyers, the Queen of Mojo Makeovers, and Laurie DiBiasio, CEO of Babe You Lingerie, to talk about body confidence and self love.

This episode is all about:

  • Finding body confidence at every life stage or size
  • Building sensuality with another person
  • Spicing up your Love Life (don’t worry, it doesn’t get graphic and uncomfortable)

Here’s the rundown:

Damona’s Story (1:30)

Body Positivity is hard at any age

Your partner wants you to love your body as much as they do (7:30)

Stop deflecting compliments! (8:30)

Dana’s method to transforming NEGATIVE BODY BANTER into a SEXY SELF LOVE AFFIRMATION (9:45)

“If I just lost 10 pounds, I will find love” (16:00)

Building sensuality with another person (19:00)

Especially if you’ve been out of the game for a while or if you and your partner need to spice it up

Choose Babe You! With Laurie DiBiasio (33:00)

Why Lingerie should be visible (34:00)

The hourglass shape has historically been the most desirable shape (36:00)

Do things change when you see someone in a more intimate situation for the first time? (38:00)

We like feeling beautiful – not just for other people! (43:00)

DATES & MATES DEALS: #GETPAID

Get PAID to listen to podcasts through PODCOIN! Get 300 podcoin now by using the code DatesAndMates

EZ Dating & How Men Fall In Love

LADIES: IT’S TIME TO START DATING LIKE A MAN

Right now, women have all the power online – at least that’s how EZ Dating Coach, Mike Goldstein sees it. 

Here’s the rundown:

DATING DISH (2:30)

How to tell if you’re dating a cheater

According to Dr. Lurve (LOL), cheaters have 3 very specific personality traits. Damona and Mike break it down.\

What The Weeknd’s breakup with Bella Hadid tell us about love today

Is modern love dead? Damona and Mike have thoughts.

The latest dating trend among Ivy League students

The newest study on love amongst these Ivy League undergrads is raising some eyebrows – mainly Damona’s and Mike’s.

YOU have all the power (19:00)

Is dating a quantity over quality game?

Mike Goldstein, tells us that the tides have turned and explains why women are in control in today’s online dating climate.

As dating coaches, we often see two typical behavior patterns in our clients:

1) Men go for quantity. They don’t do much research upfront about their matches and wait later on in the process to weed out potential partners.

2) Women look for quality. We like to make sure that each match is going to be worth our time.

Mike and I had a GREAT debate on his special formula to get women in a masculine dating mindset. This episode might actually BLOW YOUR MIND.

We talk:

  • How men fall in love
  • Mike’s special formula to get women dating in a masculine mindset
  • How women control the pace of a relationship
  • Don’t discard the guys who fall in love too fast, keep them around
  • And so much more!

Find Mike at EZdatingcoach.com and on YouTube! Make sure to get his FREE GIFT – A guide on how to text men during the day here!

TECHNICALLY DATING (40:16)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How can you find love if you’ve never had ANY contact with the opposite sex?
  • Is it impossible to find love over 50?
  • Is it too soon to date after a breakup?

DATES & MATES DEALS: #GETPAID

Get PAID to listen to podcasts through PODCOIN! Get 300 podcoin now by using the code DatesAndMates

Peacocking & Awkward Consent

ARE THE NEW RULES OF CONSENT ACTUALLY MAKING DATING DIFFICULT?

Continuing with the theme of the week on Dates & Mates, we’re talking about how consent has evolved immensely in the last year.

Joining us to break it down is Erin Tillman, AKA The Dating Advice Girl!

DATING DISH (2:30)

Your mindset is preventing you from finding love

New research on the science of relationships shows that people who are looking for their “predestined match” have a harder time finding love. Damona and Erin have some conflicting feelings about this one.

The ONLY way to get over a breakup

According to Cosmo, the No Contact Rule is the only way to get over a breakup. Damona and Erin explain.

Is he a peacocking pick up artist?

Erin educates us on one of the biggest tricks in a pickup artist’s book.

CONSENT: THE NEW NORM (22:00)

Do you have to ask consent to kiss someone?

How do you ask consent without making it awkward?

WHAT EVEN IS CONSENT???

These awkward conversations are now more necessary than ever. We also talk:

  • Healthy relationship timelines
  • Comparing yourself to other relationships
  • The signs they’re ready for commitment
  • And so much more!

Don’t miss Erin’s book, The Consent Guidebook! Packed with tons of GREAT info.

 

TECHNICALLY DATING (37:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How can I have an easier time in an interracial relationship in the future?
  • Have you found that cheating is just a commonplace thing now? 
  • What is the secret to dating in Atlanta as a successful woman? Dating apps haven’t been fruitful.

 

DATES & MATES DEALS: #KEEPITCUTE

For your next date or special event, Glamsquad will get you all glammed up! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 OFF your first service with my special code Damona20!

BONUS: Singles in America

The Feminist Dating Revolution is HERE

Surprise! We dropped a new bonus episode to break down Match’s 2019 Singles In America Study.

Here are some important takeaways:

This is the best time in history for a woman in love (3:00)

Did Me Too make dating more challenging? (4:00)

The stats say: men want women need to initiate more (5:45)

What women HAVE to do to prove they are an equal partner (6:30)

Take Charge in Dating: Read my advice on the Tinder Blog!

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9 Experts Share Their Very Best Piece of Online Dating Advice

 

Online dating is so ingrained in our cultural dating roadmap that it isn’t so much a question of whether you want to start online dating as when you’re going to give it a try. Maybe you’re just dipping your toe in the waters, maybe you’re back on apps after a breakup, or maybe you’ve been doing it forever and suspect you could be having a better time of it. 

If you aren’t sure where to begin, what “rules” you’re supposed to follow, or are looking to get more matches, check out these nine experts’ number-one piece of advice for online dating. We could use all the help we can get, right?

Put yourself into a dating mindset

“When building your profile and looking for potential dates, your mindset should follow what you’d like the outcome to be. Whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship, a hookup, or something in between, let your mind consider the result you wish to achieve so that your profile vocabulary and tone match.” —Sunny Rodgers, ACS, clinical sexologist and certified sexual health educator

Don’t be timid

“Be entirely yourself rather than projecting a more muted version of yourself. The more that you show your personality, the more the other person gets an idea of what a relationship with you would be like. You might as well jump in immediately!” —Gabrielle Alexa, sex and dating writer

Be and put yourself first

“We all want a flattering photo that peaks the maximum number of people’s interest. Go ahead and choose that picture, but recognize that it’s a slippery slope. There is a temptation to create or communicate a [version of] you that, like an Instagram post, will garner the most likes. Do not contort yourself to fit what you presume others desire. In your mind, put your wants first. Use Tinder to communicate what you actually desire, so you can find someone you truly like.” —Wednesday Martin, Ph.D., author of “Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free

Stop looking for your perfect match

“We know it sounds counterintuitive, but you read this right. Online dating makes it easy to filter people based on what’s worked for you before (or what hasn’t) and create an impossible mold of what you think is your perfect match. The problem is that eventually your matches all either seem to blend together and you lost interest, or you run out of options. Keep an open mind, and try [Liking] someone who isn’t your usual type. You might find that your ‘type’ isn’t as important as you thought.” —B+L, co-hosts of “Not Your Girlfriend’s Podcast

Click here to read my advice!

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