Dating Horrors & Avoiding Ghosting

WELCOME TO THE DATES & MATES HOUSE OF HORRORS!

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Big Takeaways from this episode are: Don’t be weird on first dates and avoid ghosting!

For everyone who is new to the Dates & Mates community, every year we round up the funniest stories of the absolute WORST dates in history. Let’s laugh together about the most horrible, freaky, WILD dates 

Then I break them down and tell you how you can avoid getting yourself trapped in one of these situations!

SPOOKY DATING DISH (1:30)

Should you join a paternity union?

WARNING: Do not procreate with Future. His baby mamas are unionizing and Damona gives us the run down.

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What’s up with the ghosts?

According to a  new study from Dating.Com, 45% of daters ghost after the first date because they feel that it’s just easier to drop all communication. Aren’t y’all tired of ghosts and ghosting? Damona has THOUGHTS on avoiding ghosting. 

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What is a paperclipping and why won’t it leave you alone?

NEW fun dating term courtesy of AskMen: Paperclipping. Damona breaks it down, but this picture says it all:

 

 

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LET’S LAUGH TOGETHER (12:00)

DATING A RICH GUY ISN’T ALL THAT GREAT (13:00)

We’re TEAM NATASHA! Don’t forget to subscribe to her podcast, Kinda Dating, so you don’t miss Damona’s upcoming interviews! 

PROM NIGHT (22:00)

For more HILARIOUS stories, you can find Rob on instagram (@icecoldrob)

CREEPY STALKERS (25:00)

Rhumel of Girrrl Can I Ask You Something, is GREAT! Check out her podcast!

DON’T STICK YOUR HANDS IN PEOPLE’S MOUTHS! (32:00)

Lysz Flo is cracking us UP! Check out her podcast, Creatively Exposed!

Gold Digger & The Sexuality Secret

I AIN’T SAYING SHE’S A GOLD DIGGER… BUT SHE MIGHT BE A UNICORN

Do you ever wish you could be a little sexier? More free with your sexuality – the way you see people in media?

What could you learn if you could go behind the scenes a Playboy? Well today we have Wendy Miller with us to give us the inside scoop on all those dirty little secrets.

Wendy Miller, Host of Sex Ed The Musical, Former Playboy TV Head of Programming, and self-proclaimed “Sex Sherpa”, gives secrets on how to get comfortable with your sexuality and achieve fulfillment in all types of relationships

DATING DISH (5:50)

Is Kanye Wrong?

Kanye has requested that Kim stop dressing so sexy because it is “hurting his soul.” Wendy and Damona have THOUGHTS. 

Everything you need to know before you start your sugar career

Have you ever wondered if a sugar mama or sugar daddy situation is right for you? Damona and Wendy break it down.

How to find a unicorn on dating apps

Actually, “unicorn hunting” is a term for finding a third party to join your threesome. This article brought up a lot of extra questions. Damona asks and Wendy answers.

Sexy Secrets (19:30)

Everything Wendy learned at Playboy

Wendy worked at Playboy so you don’t have to. She gives us the GREATEST insights on everything about sexuality and self love.

We go in-depth on:

  • Why most women don’t really know what they want out of their sex life
  • How to figure out what turns you on
  • Does the G-spot really exist? (Asking for a friend)
  • And so much more!

Wendy’s podcast, Sex Ed The Musical, gives us LIFE. Don’t miss it. 

TECHNICALLY DATING (40:20)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What do you do if you can’t be intimate with your wife, but you still have needs?
  • How to navigate dating as a young professional who doesn’t want kids?

 

DO YOU HAVE A DATING HORROR STORY?

Don’t forget to send us your Halloween Dating Horror Story! You can submit any of these ways:
  • DM Damona a voice memo on Social Media (@DamonaHoffman)
  • Send Damona an email (damona@damonahoffman.com)
  • Leave us a message! (424-246-6255)

Done with Dating & The Cheerleader Effect

BE THE HOST WITH THE MOST

Okay so we talked about breakups last week, what do you do when you are ready to take on dating?

Party!

Samantha Burns, AKA the millennial love expert, tells us her exact steps to ditching dating forever in her new book: Done with Dating: 7 Steps to Finding Your Person

DATING DISH (2:00)

Is it weird that Kayley Cuoco isn’t living with her new husband?

You may remember that in her last divorce – asked for a HUGE alimony. Maybe she’s still healing from that and needs to take it slow? We have thoughts. 

Find your soulmate before the end of the world! 

Tinder’s new content-forward programming will find help you love while you play a “choose your own adventure” game on their platform. Damona breaks it down. 

Did you know there are apps to fix your relationships?

There are dating apps and now there are relationship apps backed by the Gottman researchers. Are these worth it? Damona breaks it down. 

DATING IS A PARTY (14:00)

Be the host with the most

Samantha’s new book Done with Dating: 7 Steps to Finding Your Person is a great follow up to her first book Breaking Up and Bouncing Back: Moving On to Create the Love Life You Deserve. She gives us her seven steps to get back on the horse and find your person. 

We go in-depth on:

  • Do you want to take charge with your dating life? Or would you rather be pursued?
  • Tips, Tool, and Tricks to switch into a more empowered mindset in dating
  • What “stinkin’ thinkin'” is coming into your mind?
  • Love happens when you intentionally create a thriving fun dating experience.
  • Ways to shift your luck in love
  • If you wait for love to find you, will it?
  • Are you waiting for someone to make you happy?
  • Go out in groups AKA The Cheerleader Effect
  • Be The Hostess With The Mostest
  • Be casually confident but not aggressive
  • Dating & Attachment Styles

TECHNICALLY DATING (35:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should you tell your friend if her boyfriend is raising some red flags for you?
  • What should you do if you don’t want to be with someone but don’t want them to date anyone else?

 

DO YOU HAVE A DATING HORROR STORY?

Don’t forget to send us your Halloween Dating Horror Story! You can submit any of these ways:
  • DM Damona a voice memo on Social Media (@DamonaHoffman)
  • Send Damona an email (damona@damonahoffman.com)
  • Leave us a message! (424-246-6255)

Argument Addiction & Chemistry Lies

Chemistry is a LIAR

Today’s episode is all about Identifying past relationship patterns is crucial to restructuring your dating strategy to find success. 

DATING DISH (1:50)

Does your wedding budget predict your chances at divorce?

According to Novi Money, if you spend $1000 or less, you are more likely to get divorced within 10 years. Damona and Producer Leah discuss.

#NationalCourtshipDay 

Do you remember the Duggars? Apparently they’re trying to make #NationalCourtshipDay happen. What is the difference between courtship and dating?

Demi Moore spills the tea on her marriage with Ashton Kutcher

Should he respond? Damona and Producer Leah break it down.

Argument & Chemistry Addiction (15:00)

Silent but Deadly Relationship Killers

We’ve said it many times but will say it again: Identifying past relationship patterns is crucial to restructuring your dating strategy to find success.

In Damona’s own personal dating journey, she had to overcome an addiction. 

I had an addiction to “chemistry.” She LOVED that serotonin rush she got from a new connection and equated conflict with “passion.” But none of these relationships worked.

As it turns out, this is really common. Dr. Phillip Lee, notable marital therapist and co-head of the Cornell Medical Center, joins us today to break it down.

According to his new book, Argument Addiction, co-authored with his wife, our biological predisposition to chemistry addiction can make stable relationships difficult.

But there is a solution! Drs. Lee and Rudolph have unlocked the secrets to successful relationships through their extensive research. We cover:

  • What is Argument Addiction?
  • Chemistry is a LIAR
  • Chemistry hangovers (don’t blame the tequila!)
  • How to know when to call it quits
  • The difference between Happy Couples and Struggling Couples

Get your copy of Argument Addiction and be sure to follow Drs. Lee and Phillip on Twitter (@ArgumentBook) and Instragram (@ArgumentAddictionBook)

TECHNICALLY DATING (30:20)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What does it mean to be too picky in dating?
  • Is your man really your man if he’s still on dating apps?

Modern Fairytales & FOMO

DATING IN THE DIGITAL AGE

Have you ever logged on to Instagram and it seems like everyone and their mom is getting engaged? Is Instagram-related relationship FOMO impacting your dating life?

On this week’s episode of Dates & Mates, I talk with Hannah Orenstein, Senior Dating Editor at Elite Daily and author of the new novel, Playing With Matches. 

DATING DISH (1:58)

What is sexy-poor?

Do poor men actually have an advantage in dating? D’Marge thinks so.

What you can learn from polyamory?

A recent study on polyamorous couples reveals interesting insights for sexuality. Damona and Hannah break it down. 

Everything that is wrong with your dating profile

Damona’s dating profile tips were featured in Shondaland! Damona and Hannah discuss.

Are #relationshipgoals ruining dating? (14:00)

How social comparison affects your relationships

Hannah writes a lot about how the pressures of social media impact dating today. Are you really living your best life if it’s not on Instagram?

Yes you can! Hannah and I had a great discussion about social comparison and how it affects dating today.

We go in-depth on:

  • What to do if you and your partner have different social media habits
  • What modern fairytales look like
  • What is “sexy-poor” and why should it matter?
  • What to do if your date never asks you questions about yourself?

TECHNICALLY DATING (26:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What should you do if your date doesn’t ask you questions about yourself?
  • If the don’t bother to fill out a bio, swipe left?
  • Should you wait for someone who’s working on the 12 step program?

The Game of Desire & Dating With Dominance

HOW TO WIN THE GAME OF DESIRE

Shan Boodram - The Game of Desire

Season 7 is HERE!

Modern love has changed DRASTICALLY since I first started the Dates & Mates Podcast 7 years ago but I’m committed to continuing to keep you up to speed on the latest news, tip, and techniques in the dating game.

Speaking of dating, do you ever feel like finding love is just game of cat & mouse between men and women? 

Then you’ll want to hear from, SHAN BOODY, sexologist and intimacy expert behind The Game of Desire. She performed a study on how to come out on top in the game of love. Can you actually learn to be more attractive?

Apparently you can! Her book, The Game of Desire is revolutionary in so many ways and I’m thrilled to finally have her on the show after watching her business grow the last couple of years.

We give you the skinny on:

  • High Interest Playmates vs Low Interest Playmates
  • Tips to becoming your most desireable self
  • Dating Studies & Stats you NEED to know
  • Shan’s 5 Step Program for becoming your most desireable self
  • Should you ask your ex for a “Relationship Yelp Review”?

 

If you haven’t already shared Dates & Mates with a friend, now is the time! I have a goal of doubling our reach this season so we can help more people and heal more hearts.

Make sure you and a friend are both subscribed to Dates & Mates this season on your favorite podcast platform so you don’t miss any of the info-rich, entertaining episodes that I have lined up for you this season. 

 

DATES & MATES DEALS: START DATING NOW!

Damona will announce details about her 30 Day Dating Playbook Program re-release on the show later this month. If you want to get into this premium online-led dating course, The 30 Day Dating Playbook Program, CLICK HERE to get on the early interest list for a special deal.

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Nice Guys & F Boys

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THE ADVICE YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR BUT NEED TO HEAR

As a dating coach of 15 years, Damona’s made it her mission to show you how to date for a long-term commitment. But this week we got to thinking – what can daters learn from people who aren’t looking for “a last first kiss”?

Enter Clint Coley, comedian behind the podcast, “Advice From A Fuckboy.” (shocking, I know.)

DATING DISH (2:30)

Have you been dogfished?

Have you ever swiped right on someone because they had a cute god in their pictures? You have been dogfished! Damona and Clint break it down.

Jamie Foxx teaches us all about relationship rebounds

Jamie and Katie call it quits and he’s already on to the next. Was Kate getting the 7 year itch? Damona has thoughts.

Can men and women really have platonic relationships?

The Atlantic covers a new study that suggests that men and women may not be able to have platonic relationships. Clint has strong opinions about this one.

Advice from a F***Boy

Dating advice from a man with no relationship goals

Damona and Clint have some VERY different opinions about dating but it makes for great conversation.

They talk:

  • Hot Take: The only dating app that’s not a hookup app is Bumble
  • What is a “nice guy”?
  • Do nice guys finish last?
  • What does it mean to be a good woman?
  • What do YOU bring to the table in dating?
  • I’m a good woman, but I’m still single. Why?

Make sure to check out Clint’s Podcast, Advice from A Fuckboy!

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to handle being ghosted by someone you were really vibing with
  • What to do when your  ex reaches out to 

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Body Confidence & Mojo Makeover

WOULD DATING BE EASIER IF WE WERE MORE BODY CONFIDENT?

Is it time you got your mojo back?

We get REAL on Dates & Mates this week. Damona says, “Some days I don’t feel great about my body. Maybe you can relate? But I figured that if I opened up and faced my true feelings about my body image, it might help you and I become more body positive together.”

We sat down with Dana B Meyers, the Queen of Mojo Makeovers, and Laurie DiBiasio, CEO of Babe You Lingerie, to talk about body confidence and self love.

This episode is all about:

  • Finding body confidence at every life stage or size
  • Building sensuality with another person
  • Spicing up your Love Life (don’t worry, it doesn’t get graphic and uncomfortable)

Here’s the rundown:

Damona’s Story (1:30)

Body Positivity is hard at any age

Your partner wants you to love your body as much as they do (7:30)

Stop deflecting compliments! (8:30)

Dana’s method to transforming NEGATIVE BODY BANTER into a SEXY SELF LOVE AFFIRMATION (9:45)

“If I just lost 10 pounds, I will find love” (16:00)

Building sensuality with another person (19:00)

Especially if you’ve been out of the game for a while or if you and your partner need to spice it up

Choose Babe You! With Laurie DiBiasio (33:00)

Why Lingerie should be visible (34:00)

The hourglass shape has historically been the most desirable shape (36:00)

Do things change when you see someone in a more intimate situation for the first time? (38:00)

We like feeling beautiful – not just for other people! (43:00)

DATES & MATES DEALS: #GETPAID

Get PAID to listen to podcasts through PODCOIN! Get 300 podcoin now by using the code DatesAndMates

EZ Dating & How Men Fall In Love

LADIES: IT’S TIME TO START DATING LIKE A MAN

Right now, women have all the power online – at least that’s how EZ Dating Coach, Mike Goldstein sees it. 

Here’s the rundown:

DATING DISH (2:30)

How to tell if you’re dating a cheater

According to Dr. Lurve (LOL), cheaters have 3 very specific personality traits. Damona and Mike break it down.\

What The Weeknd’s breakup with Bella Hadid tell us about love today

Is modern love dead? Damona and Mike have thoughts.

The latest dating trend among Ivy League students

The newest study on love amongst these Ivy League undergrads is raising some eyebrows – mainly Damona’s and Mike’s.

YOU have all the power (19:00)

Is dating a quantity over quality game?

Mike Goldstein, tells us that the tides have turned and explains why women are in control in today’s online dating climate.

As dating coaches, we often see two typical behavior patterns in our clients:

1) Men go for quantity. They don’t do much research upfront about their matches and wait later on in the process to weed out potential partners.

2) Women look for quality. We like to make sure that each match is going to be worth our time.

Mike and I had a GREAT debate on his special formula to get women in a masculine dating mindset. This episode might actually BLOW YOUR MIND.

We talk:

  • How men fall in love
  • Mike’s special formula to get women dating in a masculine mindset
  • How women control the pace of a relationship
  • Don’t discard the guys who fall in love too fast, keep them around
  • And so much more!

Find Mike at EZdatingcoach.com and on YouTube! Make sure to get his FREE GIFT – A guide on how to text men during the day here!

TECHNICALLY DATING (40:16)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How can you find love if you’ve never had ANY contact with the opposite sex?
  • Is it impossible to find love over 50?
  • Is it too soon to date after a breakup?

DATES & MATES DEALS: #GETPAID

Get PAID to listen to podcasts through PODCOIN! Get 300 podcoin now by using the code DatesAndMates

Slow Love & Relationship Future

DOES YOUR RELATIONSHIP HAVE A FUTURE?

Today on the 5th episode of the in the Summer Love Series, we talk about relationship pacing and slow love. How long do you really need to know someone before you know they’re the one?

Tina Wilson, CEO of the Wingman matchmaking app, joins us to get down to the bottom of this. 

PLUS Francesca Hogi, a love and life coach for people who happen to be single, dishes on this week’s headlines and give BOMB advice for our listener questions.

 

DATING DISH (3:00)

Emojis in your dating profile: To Use or Not To Use?

According to a recent survey, emojis may not be such a good idea in your dating profile. Damona and Francesca have thoughts.

Can board games make you fall in love?

The latest research indicates that playing board games on a date is an effective way to create chemistry with your partner. Damona and Francesca break it down.  

Ariana Grande opens up about her love life

Was her relationship with Pete Davidson a mistake? Ariana tells all. 

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS YOU’RE WITH THE ONE? (25:00)

Everything you need to know about relationship pacing

Especially if you’re at an age where you feel the pressure of a ticking time clock, how long should you wait before getting serious?

Tina and I have THOUGHTS – and our answers may surprise you!  We also talk: 

  • Healthy relationship timelines
  • Comparing yourself to other relationships
  • The signs they’re ready for commitment
  • And so much more!

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you don’t want to miss this episode!

TECHNICALLY DATING (44:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Where do you meet people offline IRL?
  • I’ve been single for 5 years and I really want to be in a relationship but I’m struggling to believe I’m ready.
  • Am I chasing him if I initiate text conversations?

 

YOU’RE A BABE, TOO

intimacy can be intimidating. Especially since we’re constantly comparing ourselves to the unrealistic bodies we see everyday on tv, magazines, and on social media.

Are you missing out on intimate moments in your relationship because you’re worried about the way you look in the bedroom? 

Do you feel uncomfortable disrobing for intimacy, or are you stuck wearing a loose fitting granny gown or one of those tiny garter ensembles that push and pinch you in all the wrong places? 

You are beautiful and you deserve to wear something that is going to Instantly make you look and feel sexy. 

That is why we are partnering with BABE YOU Instant Body-Transforming Lingerie.

They have spent years designing and crafting a full line of glamorous, seductive, PATENTED body-transforming lingerie that gives us an INSTANT hourglass figure for romance. 

At BabeYou.com, you can customize your own lingerie outfits to express your individual style and hide your specific problem areas.

It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3! 

 Step 1) Select your body-transforming base garment…vivacious pink, sexy red, or sultry black!

Step 2) Choose from their matching patented add-on system.  

They have dozens sexy teddies, bras, negligees, and wraps to wear on your base garment that help you hide problem areas and accentuate your sleek new hourglass shape!

Step 3) Accessorize with their full line of Hollywood style jewelry, shoes, and accessories.

When things heat up, BABE YOU is uniquely designed to remain on during your more intimate moments… if you know what I mean…ensuring that you feel confident and sexy in the bedroom.

 BABE YOU: “‘Cuz Just like the Celebrities, You’re a Babe, too!” 

Visit BabeYou.com and use the offer code DATESANDMATES to get 10% off your first order!

Fireworks & Creating Chemistry

SUBSCRIBE NOW ON YOUR FAVE PODCAST PLATFORM!

MAKE FIREWORKS WITH YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE

Today on my third episode in the Summer Love Series, we are making fireworks in honor of 4th of July.

Gina Gutierrez, CEO of Dipsea, an app providing sexy audio storytelling for women by women, joins me to talk about passion and building chemistry! 

Buckle up, folks! This is our steamiest episode yet! 

D’S DATING DISH 

Studies show your partner may not be as smart as you think

According to the latest research, it turns out we consistently overestimate our loved one’s IQs and our own. OUCH.

 

Chelsea Handler has had a change of heart!

Chelsea Handler recently decided that it isn’t weak to want a relationship. Why this sudden change of heart? Damona and Producer Leah have thoughts. 

Signs your date doesn’t want to see you again

In case you have some trouble reading the signs, Damona breaks it down. 

How To Build Chemistry

A guide to learning what turns you on!

As an entrepreneur focused on the need for content tailored to women’s specific needs, Gina finds a lot of women need help to figure out what turns them on. 

“Inspiration is a really important paradigm or experience,” Gina says. If you need some extra inspiration to get you feeling in the mood, approachable, accessible, sexy content is Gina’s solution to building great chemistry with your special someone. 

On today’s episode, we also talk: 

  • Finding your sexuality at your own pace
  • What to do if your “on ramp” is different from your partner’s
  • Why erotica and porn don’t always meet women’s needs
  • How we are stimulated by audio content

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, Gina gives some GREAT tips on how to spice up the chemistry this holiday week!

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to move offline into a date IRL
  • Should you worry about your boyfriend’s drinking habits? 
  • What is the acceptable amount of time to wait before you text someone?

Race & Dating

MAKE THE FIRST MOVE TODAY!

Many men and women feel invisible in today’s dating climate. Studies show that dating app algorithms can sometimes inadvertently limit dating pools by only showing matches of the same race.

This causes a huge problem for daters who are being left out of these dating pools – primarily Black women and Asian men.

So how do you find the love of your life when you feel constantly rejected?

To break it down, I’m joined this week by ABCs of Attraction founder and the US #1 Asian Dating Coach, JT Tran. Known for his confidence-inspiring methods, JT focuses on helping men overcome stereotypes and internalized racism that may be preventing them from finding love.

JT has taught his approach at many prestigious universities such as Harvard, Yale, and Wharton and now, he drops some SERIOUS knowledge on Dates & Mates!

D’S DATING DISH

Is marriage obsolete?

It’s no secret that marriage is changing. But is marriage even relevant by today’s standards? Damona and JT add their two cents to The Cut’s series on exploring marriage. 

Have you broken the girl code?

Plenty of Fish gives us these Unspoken Dating Rules. Damona and JT have thoughts.

Who is Leo DiCaprio dating and why should you care?

This picture shows us that Leo has a very limited age range in which he dates. Why should you care? Damona and JT discuss.

Race & Dating

First, if you feel like you are the last person picked in your dating pool, you need to understand your worth is not tied to what others think of you.

“It’s important to have and be able to generate your own value and self-worth intrinsically inside of you as opposed to finding your worth in other people,” JT says.

Secondly, take it upon yourself to challenge the dating norms around you. JT teaches his clients to get rid of their fear of rejection and make the first move.

Get in the game and make conversations today!

We tell you how to make that first move and talk about so much more on today’s episode:

  • Starting a conversation: Is it different for men vs women?
  • Getting over your anxiety of rejection
  • How does one cross over to dating other races?
  • Dating for immigrants: everything your mom told you was wrong
  • Overcoming blatant racism in dating

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How does one cross over to dating other races?
  • What’s with getting ghosted?
  • How do you stand out at a single mixer?