Intimacy is the foundation of any great relationship, but here’s the thing: true intimacy doesn’t start with someone else, it begins with you. That’s right, we’re talking “intimacy:  into me, see?”

Our guest, Brenden Durell, the intimacy expert  from Netflix’s Too Hot to Handle, is here to guide us on this spiritual dating journey. He’s bringing exercises straight from the show and his retreats, promising a live transformation on our podcast. Don’t worry; we’re keeping it PG while still hitting those deep notes.

And because we love to keep you on your toes, we’ve got a juicy Dear Damona question coming up: “I’m stuck in a cycle of falling for guys who are either all in or MIA. How do I break free?” Stick around for some real talk on changing those pesky patterns.

Brenden Durell (2:05)

Brenden is a former professional athlete and the CEO of Unknown Intimacy.

His work spans various disciplines, including sacred sexuality, intimacy coaching, breathwork, and plant medicine.

You probably recognize him as the intimacy expert on Netflix’s Too Hot to Handle, but today, you will get to know him as a mentor who specializes in mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

(8:07) Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Mirror work isn’t just for checking your hair—it’s a powerful tool for self-love and personal growth.

Brenden suggests starting your day with a little reflection magic while doing your usual morning routine. It’s about looking beyond the surface and giving yourself some genuine love, no pom-poms required!

This practice isn’t just for the “Too Hot to Handle” crowd with their picture-perfect looks. Even those seemingly flawless folks have their insecurities, and Brenden’s mirror work helps peel back those layers.

(11:08) Healing Through Self-Apology

Brenden drops a mind-bending concept: apologizing to yourself for societal expectations you never asked for. 

It’s not about blame, but acknowledging the weight we carry. This isn’t a one-and-done deal—it’s a lifelong practice of shedding those “keep up with the Joneses” pressures.

Brenden challenges us to dial back vanity and reconnect with our deeper selves. It’s about moving past those voices that do not affirm our enoughness and finding a new way to see ourselves.

(16:27) Intimacy in the Jungle

Brenden’s “Intimacy in the Jungle” program takes place in the Amazon rainforest. This city boy turned jungle guide believes Mother Earth is the ultimate relationship counselor.

“For people to make deeper connections with others, with themselves, they have to first make a connection with mother, which is our first parent, Mother Earth,” he explains. It’s not about roughing it Survivor-style but embracing nature’s stillness to reset our connection compass.

This jungle journey isn’t for the faint of heart, but that’s the point. Confronting the raw, untamed wilderness mirrors our own internal landscapes.

(24:42) We Don’t Need Time Until We Do

Ever feel like you’re in a never-ending race against the clock? 

Brenden’s got a mind-bending take on that: “We don’t need time until we do.” It’s a wild concept—we’ve built our entire society around something that doesn’t really exist. But step into nature, and suddenly, that ticking clock loses its power. 

Brenden’s retreats tap into this time warp, resetting everything from your circadian rhythm to your perspective on life.

(38:36) Brenden’s Most Unpopular Opinion about Relationships

Brenden’s on a mission to bust the taboo that equates intimacy with getting down and dirty. For Brenden, sex is more like a spiritual ceremony than a shameful secret.

He suggests you try reframing sex as something beautiful. After all, without it, none of us would be here! He’s not asking you to go from prude to nude overnight. It’s all about baby steps, people. 

Connect with Brenden:

• Instagram @BrendenDurell
• Website – BrendenDurell.com

Dear Damona (44:02)

Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

An anonymous email sent from a listener: 

I’m recently divorced after a 13-year marriage. I’ll be 38 in May. I’m successful in my career and have an almost 13-year-old son, but I have been on the backburner for years, and I have finally begun to prioritize myself. What I miss most is sharing my life with someone, though.

Unfortunately, some of the men I have come across range from falling hard and fast for me or not giving me the time of day. These are the ones I find myself attracted to. Sick I know. Is it some weird validation I need? I guess help? I’ve never really dated and feel lost.