This week’s all Dear Damona special is tackling your SOS dating situations.

How do you juggle family importance while prioritizing relationships? What’s the best way to find a more laid-back match in a buzzing drinking culture? And the classic problem: you’ve done the work but can’t seem to attract someone who’s done the same. From family dynamics to social scene struggles, we’re answering it all.

Get ready for some real talk on breaking dating patterns and attracting the right energy. This isn’t just an advice column come to life; it’s your roadmap through the wild world of modern love. 

Let’s turn those dating distress signals into smooth sailing!

Dear Damona (2:56)

Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona answer YOUR question live in a future episode!

 

(3:01) Email from a listener named Briana:

Hi Damona,I love your podcast and book and appreciate your dating advice! 

I wanted to write in since I recently have been going out on good first dates where the men seem interested (I am, too), we have a connection, talk about seeing each other again, and then I get ghosted. Is this a new trend, or just plain bad luck? 

It has me anxious going on first dates where I worry even if it’s great I’ll never hear from them again. I feel stuck in a rut with endless first dates and want to break this unfortunate trend. 

Should I text them the next day? Any advice is appreciated! 

(9:14) Text message from a listener named Michelle

Damona, help me! My name is Michelle, and I’m in my late fifties. I have two grown daughters and children of their own. However, I’m also hoping to find someone who can make a relationship a priority. 

Here’s my question: How and when do I communicate that while I am very pro-family, I am also looking to find someone who can prioritize a romantic relationship and whose life does not revolve entirely around children and family? Is there language I can use in my profile, or how do I bring this up delicately in the early stages of dating?

(14:28) Email from a listener named L.K.

Hi Damona! I’ve been listening to your show for a year or two now, and I don’t recall hearing you address substance use. I’m in my mid to late 30s and not as interested in dating men who use a lot of recreational substances or who get drunk intentionally/frequently. I love a drink or two with great food or out with friends, but I am well past where I find heavy intoxication fun. 

I’ve found it hard to talk about this, though, as the cities I’ve lived in have big drinking cultures, and I’ve been teased about my preferences before. I’m just not really interested in that lifestyle and am not sure how to communicate about it. 

Do you have any tips on how to kindly communicate this preference or find more people with similar lifestyles? Thanks!

 

(20:40) Instagram DM from a listener named Colleen:

After my divorce, I worked on myself until I became the type of person I would swipe right on before dating.  I find myself really disappointed in the people who “like” me on apps for many reasons besides not being physically attracted to them.  

I’m 44 and I don’t want to date someone who isn’t at an equal point in their emotional maturity/availability, finances, career, etc. I’m beginning to think there’s no one available that’s up to par.  

Should I lower my standards?  Work through my expectations in (more) therapy?  I’d love to hear your advice!

Check out the past podcast episodes Damona mentioned in this episode:

Addiction & Love with Dr. Cali Estes

Minisode: A Dates & Mates Love Story