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Body Image & The Sussex Situation



BODY POSITIVITY & FINDING LOVE

Story time: Damona had a little conversation with her client the other day who just got the COVID vaccine (yayy!!). They were talking about next steps in the dating process now that things maybe opening back up soon.

This client was so excited to finally get the vaccine but she was panicking because she’d gained a little weight during the pandemic and wasn’t sure how that would affect her dating life.

There seems to be a lot of anxiety in the air righ now since many up us are kind of freaking out at the prospect of seeing people and looking our best and actually having to fit into pants again.

So today, Damona talks to body image expert, Veronica Grant with some really great tips on how to find love when you don’t feel so good about the way you look. We’ve all been there so it’s a really important topic.

But first, there’s some controversy we need to address:

DATING DISH (2:30)

(2:30) We stand with Meghan Markle & Prince Harry

Meghan’s Oprah tell-all is causing quite a stir around the world. Damona explains what this means for you and your dating life. Also, you can check out Damona’s video on the subject if you want to join in on the conversation!

 

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A post shared by Damona Hoffman (@damonahoffman)

(6:50) The latest controversial feature on Coffee Meets Bagel

Are you selecting your dates based on their vaccine status? Do you trust that people are being honest in dating right now? Damona gives us the skinny on why the app chose to include a vaccine option in their “About Me” section and how to decide whether to respond or not.

via GIPHY

 

BODY IMAGE & LOVE (12:00)

Veronica Grant is a body image expert and host of the Love Life Connection Podcast. As we’ve pretty much established, this is a HUGE topic and brings up a lot of feelings for every body (See what we did there???). Damona and Veronica cover:

Here’s the biggest truth that might make you examine the way you are approaching dating right now (13:00): 

You relate to men the way you relate to your body.

(15:00) People looking to date you aren’t seeing your body insecurities and often can’t even tell when your weight fluctuates. 

(16:00) If your potential partner hyper fixates on THIS, it’s definitely not someone you want to date

(17:30) Why compliments from other people can hurt your self-esteem

(19:00) If you’re only attracting people who want to be friends with benefits listen here

(22:00) If you believe something about yourself, you’re going to attract the kinds of people who reflect those beliefs back

(25:00) The Deep Work Framework: finding real love begins with healing your inner child

(26:00) How to get better at dating: will you benefit more from healing your self esteem and dealing with the past or developing a dating strategy?

(31:00) The surprising things that are creating overwhelm and anxiety in your dating life

(36:00) What timeline should you expect when you’re looking for love?

A Few Ways to find Veronica

5 Steps To Ending Overwhelm and Anxiety in Your Love Life: veronicagrant.com/workshop

Love Life Connection Podcast: veronicagrant.com/podcast

 

YOU’RE LIVIN’ NOW! (38:30)

Damona brings in another perspective from past guest, Erica Faye Watson. Here’s the video if you’re interested:

We are sad to say that Erica passed away two weeks ago due to complications from COVID 19. Erica truly was such an amazing person with an amazing perspective and she will be missed. Today’s episode is dedicated to her memory.

 

DEAR DAMONA (40:28)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Dillon (Email): I am a 26 year old Tech Guy living in a small ,East Coast city. Being my age, I am relatively open to anything. However, I definitely prefer something a little more serious. However, a problem has arose. I have struggled to find dates and have had a couple of people tell me that I would be someone women will want to settle down with and not necessarily date right now. How do I find where I’m going wrong? I workout, have my own place and am not some resentful guy. I want a relationship but feel myself getting upset with my myself because I am losing to men who just want casual sex.
  • Jodi (Voicemail): Hi, my name is Jodi, I’m 42 years old, I’m divorced. And I’m having a little bit of trouble navigating the dating world. And so I have so many questions for you. But I’ll start with this. So I am on to online dating platforms and one like swipe app. So opportunity, where I can see who has made my profile, I become increasingly frustrated with men who visit my profile on a regular basis, but refuse to send the message. And so I’m trying to understand what their motivation is for returning to my profile time and time again, without reaching out. And I’ve just gotten exhausted from being the first one to reach out just because that’s what Bumble makes me do. And I just, it’s not really working out for me, I’m taking a little bit of a break of being the one to reach out. But if that make sense, I’m just really curious about how I can maybe send a message back that kind of calls them out in a flirty way. Or maybe do I just send the message and leave it at that? I don’t know. I’m just curious as to how to approach that because it would really hurt my self esteem to send a message to somebody who has visited my profile numerous times and then for them to just ignore my message that might mess me up. I’m not sure. Anyway, I look forward to hearing your I’m sure one of your shows. Thank you for the work that you do. Bye bye.

 

THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY TEXTNOW 

The app solves many major challenges that Damona’s clients face in dating today:

  • You can keep your main number private
  • You can separate your personal and dating contacts
  • Plus, It’s easy to use and FREE.

We are proud to collaborate with an app that empowers modern daters to feel safe and secure. If you want more information, check out Damona’s video on when to give out your number to people you meet on dating apps. Click here!

 

DATES & MATES DEALS

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Breakups & Quitting By Design

BABY DON’T HURT ME, NO MORE

To close out this #DivorceMonth2019 we talked all about breakups and quitting relationships. Breakups are a pretty heavy topic so Damona called in reinforcements. Enter Lynn Marie Morski, self professed “professional quitter” and Jonathon Aslay, Midlife dating and relationships coach. We talked about A LOT today. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:24)

Your New Matchmaker revealed: Your DNA

New dating app Pheramor matches you with your DNA. Is this the answer to finding love now? Damona and Jonathon discuss.

The TRUTH behind your romantic type

Meghan Markle seems to be pretty different from Prince Harry’s other girlfriends, right? Wrong. According to foot analysts, all of Prince Harry’s girlfriends have the exact same (very specific) foot feature. Damona and Jonathon tell us what this means for you with the help of science.

Channing on life as a single dad

This Divorce Month, Channing Tatum is being the best dad he can be and trying to find a good balance with ex-wife, Jenna Dewan nee Tatum. Is he doing a good job? Damona has thoughts.

Quitting By Design (14:00)

There are lots of steps to a breakup – even when you haven’t been in a relationship for very long. How do you sort through all the BS and make the best decision for you?

Lynn Marie Morski has quit several times in her life. She is a physician, attorney, speaker, author, and the Founder of Quitting By Design, Lynn Marie is on a mission to help people carve out a successful life through strategic quitting to inform your life’s true purpose and path which led her to write her new book, ‘Quitting by Design.’ We talked about A LOT:

  • Deciding to quit
  • The 5 step quitting process
  • Fears of quitting & quitting fears
  • Logistics of quitting
  • NO GHOSTING!
  • Sunk Cost Fallacy & “I’ve invested so much time!”
  • And so much more!

TECHNICALLY DATING (40:20)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should your boyfriend have to deal with your family drama?
  • What to say when you don’t want a second date

STAY SEXY IN 2019

Get back in shape after the holiday by beginning a program with Beach Body on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

Election Day & Dating

CAN YOU DATE ACROSS PARTY LINES?

Since the 2016 election, we’ve noticed that politics are increasingly important to daters. In honor of Election Day, Damona sits down with Cyberdating Expert Julie Spira to talk dating across party lines. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:32)

Why are fertility rates declining?

The National Center for Health Statistics reports that fertility rates in the United States are down. Damona breaks down what this means and why it’s happening.

Meghan Markle’s “Pre-Pup” Pregnancy Contract

You’ve heard of a prenup but have you ever heard of a “pre-pup”? According to Daily Mail, Meghan Markle made her ex-husband sign a pre-pregnancy contract. Damona discusses the exact stipulations of Markle’s pre-pregnancy contract. Would you use a pre-pregnancy contract?

Ghosters: the end is nigh

Bumble thinks they have found the solution to ghosting! The Telegraph reports that Bumble will be prompting users to respond sooner and to take a “No Ghosting Vow”. Will this actually solve the problem? Damona has thoughts.

POLITICS & DATING (14:35)

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert, Digital Matchmaker, and the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. She has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years and has a great deal of personal experience when it comes to dating across party lines. We talked about a lot:

  • Julie’s research on couples with different political opinions
  • Politics on dating sites and in dating profiles
  • Do single women date across party lines?
  • Who talks about politics more on dates: men or women
  • What political issues split up relationships the most?
  • What this means for your online dating experience

Look out for her forthcoming book, “Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships.” For more info about the book you can visit Loveintheageoftrump.com.

TECHNICALLY DATING (28:45)

via GIPHY

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What do you do when your spouse has gained a lot of weight and you’re no longer attracted to them?
  • When do you consider yourself to have been ghosted?
  • Tips to keep the conversation going on the first date
  • How to ask your boyfriend to move with you to another country
  • If you find out your boyfriend has a wife, should you tell her?

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP (42:40)

Damona closes the show with a Hollywood Hookup for Ariana Grande. Who do you think would be a good match for Ariana? We have some suggestions.

STOP STRESSING ABOUT FIRST DATE OUTFITS

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