Tag Archive for: familiarity principle

Team Dating App: With Excuse My Grandma

We are wrapping our Summer Series up with a big bang this week and bringing you a special crossover episode with the Excuse My Grandma podcast where the hosts, Kim and Grandma Gail, talk about the generational differences of dating, sex and relationships. 

Damona sat down with them on their pod to take on the task of convincing Grandma Gail to come on over to Team Dating Apps. Damona, Kim and GG also discuss how to PROPERLY screen your dating app matches, why you SHOULDN’T text too much before a first date, and how a simple phone call could SAVE YOU HOURS in your dating life.

Whether you’re on Team Dating Apps or Team Traditional Dating Methods, this crossover summer series episode with the Excuse My Grandma Podcast is for YOU!


Kim Murstein is a content creator and host of the Excuse My Grandma podcast with her grandmother Gail. Together they cover dating, relationships, and sex advice from two very different generational perspectives.

(11:05) Getting Grandma Gail on Team Dating App…

There are a lot of common concerns around using dating apps – like, how do I know my match is being honest about who they are? Is online dating really safe? What if I end up swiping so much that it affects my mental health? 

Damona addresses all of Grandma Gail’s dating app concerns and goes over the 5 Dating Loops that may be keeping you from finding your match.

(17:20) Texting etiquette & the 3-Date Rule.

Damona goes over some common traps in texting, most prominently something called the “Online Disinhibition Effect.” This is the process in which texting too often with someone can create a false sense of intimacy, which can cause you to overshare with someone. So if you think you may be sharing too much too quickly, ask yourself – would I say this to this person if we were face to face at a bar or on a coffee date?

Grandma Gail also shares her 2-Date Rule, while Damona goes over her 3-Date Rule.

(37:30) Dating in your 60s vs your 30s…

One of the biggest differences between dating culture for people in their 60s vs 20s and 30s? Women over 60 are the biggest targets for romance scams, which is why Damona has her clients be extra diligent about screening. One tip Damona gives is to read someone’s messages as if they were written to someone else – how personalized or specific to you are the messages? 

Damona also goes into the key phrases someone might use if they’re trying to scam you.

(42:55) OkCupid’s Dating Trend Predictions!

Throwback Tuesday! Since this episode aired last Fall, Damona goes over OkCupid’s Fall 2022 dating trend predictions. Some of the main trends include emphasis on IRL dates and being forward about mental health with matches. 

Damona also defines “cuffing season” and “peak dating season” for those who aren’t aware…


Check out Excuse My Grandma on your favorite podcast app and be sure to follow Kim and Grandma Gail on Instagram @ExcuseMyGrandma.



There is no Dear Damona this week, but please submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear your answers during a future episode of Date & Mates!

Unsure if your question is right for Dates & Mates? Check out our recent all-Dear Damona episode to get a taste of what our listeners are thinking. 📝



Up Your Dating Skills: feat. The Mark Groves Podcast

We’ve got another amazing crossover episode for y’all this week. Damona joins forces with the The Mark Groves Podcast, where the two break down the ways in which dating is a learned skill, not a natural born talent – and more.


This episode originally aired in November of 2020, so the conversation will take you back to that time when covid and racial justice were at the forefront of our minds. And if you’ve been listening to the rest of the Summer Series, you’ll recognize some familiar details about Damona’s origin story.

So if you are ready to maximize your relationship potential, then this crossover Summer Series episode with The Mark Groves Podcast is for YOU!


On his podcast, Mark explores the juiciest parts of the human experience and what it’s like to live authentically in the modern world. The Mark Groves Podcast is also one of the top 10 podcasts on relationships in the world.

(8:00) How to use dating apps “properly.”

One of the biggest hurdles Damona has encountered with her clients is that they don’t know how to use dating apps to their fullest potential. A big part of this is knowing how to couple clarity with action. In her sessions, she often prompts her clients to reflect on how they have programmed the app to deliver matches of a certain caliber – AKA we teach the app to give us more of what we’re swiping on. Mark also mentions that we tend to put people into predefined boxes when dating. And although this can be a shortcut to getting closer to our match, it often limits the potential for the matches we COULD have.

Damona continues to dish on the best way to tell your story in your profile photos, including what pics NOT to use.

(25:25) Breaking down our biases through self-work…

Damona shares a bit more about her upbringing, being the daughter of a black woman from Detroit and a Jewish man from Chicago. She explains that it took a lot of self-reflection in order for her to question and break down her own biases about herself and “ideal” beauty standards. Only then was Damona ready to meet her life partner, Seth. Mark and Damona pose the question to listeners – what beliefs are you holding that are keeping you stuck in a place of familiarity?

Damona also breaks down some OkCupid stats surrounding biases on dating apps, and how attraction bias can change based on your upbringing.

**If you want to know more, listen to this episode of The Daily Show Podcast where Damona goes further into the idea of “sexual racism.”

(44:55) No one is born knowing how to date!

With all that we absorb culturally from Rom-Coms and happy endings, we tend to see finding love as something that should come easy. But surprise – dating is a learned skill! A common worry from Damona’s clients is that they “don’t want to waste time” on the wrong people. But you will never waste your time if you learn something from the dating experiences you do have. Mark asserts that “one of the best things you can learn in dating is how to say no faster.”

Mark and Damona continue discussing how people can get trapped in a dating rut by focusing on the quantity of matches vs. the quality of their matches and conversations.

Check out The Mark Groves Podcast on your favorite podcast app and be sure to follow Mark on Instagram @ItsMarkGroves AND @createthelove.



There is no Dear Damona this week, but please submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear your answers during a future episode of Date & Mates!

Unsure if your question is right for Dates & Mates? Check out our recent all-Dear Damona episode to get a taste of what our listeners are thinking. 📝 

Master Class: Do you have a “Type”?

Reality dating shows are all the rage. From Love Is Blind to 30 Day Fiance, we are constantly watching love as a social experiment on our TVs and it has left the Dates & Mates team wondering, are singles willing to experiment in their own dating lives? 

They should be! Having a growth mindset around improving your dating skills could be the key to finding your match.

In this mini masterclass, Damona shares why having a “Type” is a myth, why it may be holding you back in dating, and how you can expand your dating pool beyond seeing the same type of person again and again.


  • (5:00) Be open to finding love anywhere and everywhere.
  • (6:05) The Familiarity Principle.
  • (11:15) Focus on how your values intersect.
  • (15:45) What if what you believed about your “type” wasn’t true?


Have you ever been curious about 1-on-1 coaching? Enrollment is currently open for Damona’s Diamond VIP Coaching Program! Go to damonahoffman.com/vipprogram to book an assessment call with Damona’s hand-selected coach Yogi Marquis, and get on the road to getting unstuck in love.