Tag Archive for: divorce

Dear Damona: Vision of Love & Sue’s Story

If you joined the “F the Fairy Tale” Challenge last week, you might’ve heard a lot about mindset work while dating. But, we can only see a continuous shift in our mindset when we take action. 

So with that, the word of the week is ACTION.

We’re back with another round of questions for this all-Dear Damona episode, AND a special appearance. Damona will be joined by her client, Sue, to share how she learned to love again after losing her husband in 2021 – and why you should never give up on love.

DEAR DAMONA (4:00)

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on our next all-Dear Damona episode!

  • (4:00) Voicemail from Faith: Hi Damona! I know you speak a lot on visualization as a part of the dating journey. I was wondering if you have any suggestions for the small population of those that deal with aphantasia. Aphantasia is when your mind’s eye is essentially blind. So if somebody says “picture yourself on the beach”, I just go blank. Do you have any suggestions for how those of us with aphantasia could get clarity, maybe without visualization or with another tool.

**Vision boards can be a really great tool for visualization or for helping you see what you want more clearly. Check out this Vision Board minisode for Damona’s tips on how to make yours!

  • (8:50) Voice Message from C: Hey Damona, loving the new format of the podcast. It’s happened to me a couple of times where there’s a guy who I’m really interested in, we may have been on like a date or two. But then what basically happens is he’s just rubbish at confirming when the next date will happen. Generally for me, if I haven’t heard from someone like two days ahead of time, I forget about them. Am I potentially dismissing great guys because of this? And if that’s the case, because it’s really early stages, am I allowed to ask the person for clarity in advance? Or is this all just a symptom of dating in your 30s?
  • (21:30) Text from K: Hi Damona. I’m over 50, never married, no children, and sometimes think that that’s a red flag for men. I’m also enjoying a middle-aged body that seems comfortable with my apparently futile efforts to change it. I don’t want to release my hope of finding a long term lifetime partner, but I’m barely hanging onto that hope. At what point should a person just accept it’s probably not going to happen?

SUE’S STORY (28:40)

Damona’s client, Sue, talks about how she learned to love again after losing her husband in 2021 and why you should never give up on love.

Unorthodox Dating & Newly Single

We had so much fun bringing you all the “F the Fairy Tale Challenge” last week. We connected with so many of you on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook AND our brand new (well, technically reinvented) Youtube channel! (Check out the Dates & Mates Youtube channel here…)

And with that, today’s word of the week is REINVENTION.

There are certain pivotal moments in our lives. Little windows open up for us to peer inside our hearts and ask, what do we truly want? And are we living life in alignment with our goals and values?

In the face of these challenges, we find our true strength through reinvention. It’s a beacon of hope that says, “You are not defined by your past, but by the potential of your future.” To embrace reinvention is to become the authors of our own narratives. It’s the fuel for personal growth and transformation.

This week, let the word “reinvention” inspire you to chase dreams, break boundaries, and shatter limitations. Go for what you know in your heart is meant for you. If you’re listening today, on the precipice of a reinvention of your relationship future or any other aspect of your life, our guest is the perfect person for you to hear from.

JULIA HAART (2:25)

Julia Haart is a fashion designer, entrepreneur and the current CEO of Elite World Group, a fashion talent management group. However, Julia started out in a very different place in life. She was raised in an ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and was married off to a man she barely knew at a young age. That marriage ruled her life for 23 years before she gained the courage to leave.

Julia joins Dates & Mates today to talk about how she went from ultra orthodox long sleeves to designing lingerie, and how to find your voice and power in a relationship.

(6:41) Shifting into body confidence.

Julia goes into her orthodox background, including the three laws that defined her life for years. Her transition into body empowerment, and consequently starting her lingerie brand, was inspired when her 5-year old daughter asked why their religion wouldn’t allow her to play soccer with the other kids.

(18:12) Don’t take freedom for granted.

Julia details what it was like to start dating for the first time at 52-years old. “The first like nine months, it was more about self discovery than dating. I didn’t really date.” For Julia, one of the most important transitions was experiencing her own sexual freedom for the first time. 

Julia also explains what she’s learned since being on My Unorthodox Life in 2022.

(25:05) Gardeners & flowers…

Damona and Julia talk about what it takes to really create change in your life, and deprogram old beliefs that aren’t serving you anymore. Julia also offers a metaphor that says everyone is either a gardener or a flower. “Gardeners are the people who take care, they nurture, they feed, they support, they help. Flowers are the people that say give me, give me, give me everything… I would like someone who gardens some of the time, and doesn’t always say ‘give me.’”

 

You can follow Julia on Instagram @JuliaHaart AND you can learn more about her sexy shapewear by visiting BodyByJuliaHaart.com.

 

DEAR DAMONA

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on a future all-Dear Damona episode!

Manifest Love & Slay Monsters

 

From what we’ve been hearing lately, so many of you feel like you’re doing all the things to find your match, but not seeing the progress you want. So in today’s episode, we’re going to work a little magic – well, a specific kind of magic.

The word of the day is MANIFESTATION.

We believe that manifestation is magic and that we all have the power to manifest our destinies. When we dream it and believe it, we can achieve it, whether we’re talking financial success or love.

And before you say “that’s too woo woo for me,” we encourage you to have an open mind. Having an open mind is the first step to making manifestation work for you. When we manifest, we are actually programming our subconscious mind, helping our brains get to order our actions and make what we visualize real.

Or maybe it’s just straight up magic. Either way, our guest today – Morgana Rae – will show us how it’s done.

MORGANA RAE (3:00)

Morgana Rae is the #1 international best-selling author of “Financial Alchemy: 12 Months of Magic & Manifestation.” Morgana has been a 7-figure spiritual life and business coach for over 30 years (that’s over a million for those who are counting). She’s guided tens of thousands of entrepreneurs, artists, healers and humanitarians to heal the rift between heart, spirit, and money.

Morgana’s groundbreaking approach to “attracting money like a lover” has featured her on all the major television networks – United Press International, Yahoo Finance, The Wall Street Journal, and hundreds of others. As a thought leader on the topics of Wealth and Relationships, she’s also been a featured expert on stages with Deepak Chopra, Arianna Huffington, Bob Proctor, and many others. 

(3:00) Change happens at the speed of safety…

Although a lot of her work has been financially oriented, Morgana says manifesting love is a lot like manifesting wealth. She shares her story of how she slayed her “love monster” in 2012, when she met the man who would eventually become her husband. 

Morgana also believes that change happens at the speed of safety, and explains the 3 steps you can take to dissect and heal the ways you feel unsafe in love.

(22:15) Character versus characteristics.

After Damona describes her 3 C’s rule for profile photos – having Color, Context & Character – she notes that many people forget about implementing your character, because they get too caught up in impressing potential matches instead of leaning in authentically. 

Morgana revisits her own profile, and how she used her bio to paint a picture of what it would be like to date her. This is when the quality of her matches began to change. Morgana buttons her thought with, “if you feel like you need to impress that person, it’s not your person.”

(28:30) Find your Money Honey!

Morgana clarifies that your “money monster” can be anything that has ever made you feel unlovable, unworthy, unsafe, judged or powerless. And once you slay that money monster, you will open yourself up to finding your “money honey.” (Check out Morgana’s website for 6 steps on how to take action in finding your money honey.) 

Morgana adds that “you must create safety in your own relationship, with your existence, with your life on Earth. So that when somebody shows up with ill intent, you don’t take it personally. You just say no, and move on.”

 

Visit Morgana’s website MorganaRae.com and grab a copy of her bestselling book, “Financial Alchemy: 12 Months of Magic & Manifestation.”

 

 

DEAR DAMONA

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on a future all-Dear Damona episode!

Dear Damona: Great Expectations & The Talk

 

We’re coming at you this week with our very first all-Dear Damona episode of Dates & Mates Season 11! And the word of the week? HEALING.

We’ve been seeing a lot of misplaced anger, frustration, and disappointment on all the socials this week on well-intentioned posts – everything from raising money for charity to book recommendations. There’s a lot of pain circulating in the form of critical comments and insults being delivered behind the veil of a phone screen.

But instead of fighting anger with anger, think about shifting your instincts towards healing.

Every action that we take is motivated by one thing – to move toward love or away from pain. We do not heal our pain through complaining, through dragging someone on social media, or from ghosting. We heal our pain through listening and through extending compassion to others.

And when we are healed and whole, we can move towards love and away from pain at the same time. Hurt people hurt people and healed people help people. And boy, do we need more helpers and healers right now.

On that note, let’s get into the business of the week. You asked for it – our first Dear Damona episode of the season.

DEAR DAMONA (2:45)

 

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on our next all-Dear Damona episode!

 

  • (2:45) Voicemail from Chantel: Hello, I recently jumped back into using dating apps and I’ve met someone who I really like who is kind, thoughtful and cute. We’ve been dating for about three months. I’m wondering if I should initiate a serious relationship talk? He said he is open to long term relationships. But we haven’t really talked about what our relationship goals are yet. So I’m not sure whether he meets my needs for a long term relationship. I am attending grad school and working. So I’m pretty busy, and I don’t have a whole lot of time for dating apps. I’m kind of worried that if I continue to date him, I won’t explore other potential matches. So I’m just wondering if I should initiate the serious dating talk or if I should just continue to date him casually and learn more about each other.

 

  • (9:50) Voicemail from Bren: Hi Damona! I am a 60 year old woman, new to the dating scene after a recent divorce. I have a question about complete honesty on dating profiles. I am a physician and I am very hesitant to put it on a profile so as to avoid a lot of the predatory stuff that goes on and some of the dating sites. But of course, I like the fact that I’m a physician. I’m proud of what I do, but not really sure how to approach that on a dating website. What is your advice in regards to staying safe and being fully transparent about your profession online?

 

  • (15:37) IG Message from Shana: Hi Damona, I have a query about not getting too disappointed after first dates which appeared to have gone very well, but then you don’t hear back from the man. Would you be able to offer some sound advice on expectations and not having them deflated?

 

  • (24:35) Voice Memo from T: Hey Damona! I was in a relationship for about two and a half years. Two weeks before it ended, we were engaged. It has been three months of healing, grieving, therapy and journaling and processing the end of this relationship. I am getting curious and excited. So the question is, how do you internally know if you’re ready to get back into the dating world after processing a serious breakup?

 

  • (28:52) Text from S: Hi Damona! I absolutely love your podcast. My question is how boring is too boring? I have been dating online for the past year and have met a lot of guys who are nice and want to see me again, but the dates are very bland and low energy. Should I be doing more to spice things up, or should I just pass on the guys if we don’t click after a couple dates?

Love & Loss

AM I EVER GOING TO LOVE OR LOVE AGAIN?

 

After a breakup, divorce, or a loss of a partner, we often ask ourselves this question.

In the description of this show we say you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll believe in love again. But have you ever had to learn how to love again after loss?

 Whether you’ve been through a breakup, divorce, or the passing of your partner this episode is for you. Healing your heart is a long process – A lot of us feel guilty moving on or feel like we’ll never find someone as great as what we once had.

We’ve all been there. 

But today we want to give you hope. That is why I’ve brought in Gladys Diaz – a love expert who helps people learn to love and trust again.

She is the co-founder of The Love Twins of Heart’s Desire International. 

After being widowed at a young age, Gladys believed that she would never love or be loved again. She and her sister developed  a program that women how to love after loss – a program that she followed to meet the second man of her dreams 19 years ago. Here’s the rundown:

DATING DISH

How to find the perfect first date spot

According to GQ, you should find a few first date spots and stick to them. Damona and Gladys discuss.

Do you really need to find your intellectual match?

Damona and Gladys have thoughts on this article from Female First. 

Do you want to feel safer when dating?

Apparently there is a brand new chaperoning / matchmaking service that takes away the pressure of meeting a stranger in public for the first time. Is this really necessary?

Love & Loss

Learn to Love Again

Gladys lost the love of her life at age 27. After some time, she developed a program to heal her own heart and open herself up to love again. Gladys now helps women of all backgrounds heal from breakups, divorce, and the loss of a partner.

We cover:

  • Gladys’ Love Story
  • Breakups and divorces are in a lot of ways like the passing of a partner
  • Limiting Belief: I will never love again
  • Feeling guilty for moving on
  • The two steps you must do before moving on
  • Accepting new love in your life

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What’s the deal with people who put someone else’s kids in their dating profile?
  • Is online dating a must if you’re 39 and divorced?

Argument Addiction & Chemistry Lies

Chemistry is a LIAR

Today’s episode is all about Identifying past relationship patterns is crucial to restructuring your dating strategy to find success. 

DATING DISH (1:50)

Does your wedding budget predict your chances at divorce?

According to Novi Money, if you spend $1000 or less, you are more likely to get divorced within 10 years. Damona and Producer Leah discuss.

#NationalCourtshipDay 

Do you remember the Duggars? Apparently they’re trying to make #NationalCourtshipDay happen. What is the difference between courtship and dating?

Demi Moore spills the tea on her marriage with Ashton Kutcher

Should he respond? Damona and Producer Leah break it down.

Argument & Chemistry Addiction (15:00)

Silent but Deadly Relationship Killers

We’ve said it many times but will say it again: Identifying past relationship patterns is crucial to restructuring your dating strategy to find success.

In Damona’s own personal dating journey, she had to overcome an addiction. 

I had an addiction to “chemistry.” She LOVED that serotonin rush she got from a new connection and equated conflict with “passion.” But none of these relationships worked.

As it turns out, this is really common. Dr. Phillip Lee, notable marital therapist and co-head of the Cornell Medical Center, joins us today to break it down.

According to his new book, Argument Addiction, co-authored with his wife, our biological predisposition to chemistry addiction can make stable relationships difficult.

But there is a solution! Drs. Lee and Rudolph have unlocked the secrets to successful relationships through their extensive research. We cover:

  • What is Argument Addiction?
  • Chemistry is a LIAR
  • Chemistry hangovers (don’t blame the tequila!)
  • How to know when to call it quits
  • The difference between Happy Couples and Struggling Couples

Get your copy of Argument Addiction and be sure to follow Drs. Lee and Phillip on Twitter (@ArgumentBook) and Instragram (@ArgumentAddictionBook)

TECHNICALLY DATING (30:20)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What does it mean to be too picky in dating?
  • Is your man really your man if he’s still on dating apps?

Dr. Jenn’s Relationship Fix & The Communication Crisis

COMMUNICATE BETTER IN YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP

In all of Damona’s years as a dating coach, she has learned all the different ways people navigate modern love. One issue keeps coming up as challenging for all our listeners: Communication.

We are in a communication crisis right now, people! With an overload of information and an undervaluing of the person on the other end of the phone or computer, it is clear that we are having trouble forming real connections. This week we talk about how to form better relationships through communication and connection. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:25)

Is society done with Slut Shaming once and for all?

This week, some VERY personal pictures of Amanda Seyfried were leaked on the internet. We are happy to report that most fans supported Amanda instead of slut shaming. Damona and Dr. Jenn have thoughts.

Create Healthier Texting Habits

At the beginning of a relationship, it can be hard to establish healthy texting habits with your new boo. Damona and Dr. Jenn have your solution.

The Four Major Predictors of Divorce

According to the Gottman study, there are four major predictors of divorce within the first five years of marriage and three more relationship conflicts that will make you fall out of love ASAP. Damona and Dr. Jenn break it down.

DR. JENN’S RELATIONSHIP FIX (18:00)

Damona brought in the creme de la creme of experts to enlighten us about communication and connection in relationships –  VH1’s Dr. Jenn Mann. You may know her from the hit show Couple’s Therapy with Dr. Jenn or her many best selling books on improving relationships, but she is also a licensed LMFT who has been practicing for almost three decades.

Dr. Jenn and Damona talk about her newest book, The Relationship Fix. This interview isn’t just for couples who want to fix their relationships, Dr. Jenn says her communication advice is for singles who “want to do it right next time.”

We talked about A LOT:

  • Using conflicts to strengthen your relationship
  • Connection is the greatest vaccination against infidelity
  • Dealing with criticism
  • Recognizing and knowing when unresolved issues can ruin a relationship
  • How to make an effective apology
  • Will he actually change this time?
  • Concrete Action is key
  • Getting over infidelity
  • Living in fear hurts your relationship
  • Attachment styles
  • And so much more!

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:27)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • If a girl brings a friend to a first date, it’s over right?
  • I’m dating someone with an STD. How screwed am I?
  • Some tips on how to make my IG profile a dating profile?
  • I think I’m dating someone in another relationship. How can I investigate/ not be creepy.
  • At the start of a relationship, how much time do you give before you have the talk?

GETTING GLAMMED UP FOR A DATE?

Have a hot date this weekend or another event that you want to glam it up for? Let Glamsquad help you out with Damona’s code! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 off your first service with my special code Damona20.

Breakups & Quitting By Design

BABY DON’T HURT ME, NO MORE

To close out this #DivorceMonth2019 we talked all about breakups and quitting relationships. Breakups are a pretty heavy topic so Damona called in reinforcements. Enter Lynn Marie Morski, self professed “professional quitter” and Jonathon Aslay, Midlife dating and relationships coach. We talked about A LOT today. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:24)

Your New Matchmaker revealed: Your DNA

New dating app Pheramor matches you with your DNA. Is this the answer to finding love now? Damona and Jonathon discuss.

The TRUTH behind your romantic type

Meghan Markle seems to be pretty different from Prince Harry’s other girlfriends, right? Wrong. According to foot analysts, all of Prince Harry’s girlfriends have the exact same (very specific) foot feature. Damona and Jonathon tell us what this means for you with the help of science.

Channing on life as a single dad

This Divorce Month, Channing Tatum is being the best dad he can be and trying to find a good balance with ex-wife, Jenna Dewan nee Tatum. Is he doing a good job? Damona has thoughts.

Quitting By Design (14:00)

There are lots of steps to a breakup – even when you haven’t been in a relationship for very long. How do you sort through all the BS and make the best decision for you?

Lynn Marie Morski has quit several times in her life. She is a physician, attorney, speaker, author, and the Founder of Quitting By Design, Lynn Marie is on a mission to help people carve out a successful life through strategic quitting to inform your life’s true purpose and path which led her to write her new book, ‘Quitting by Design.’ We talked about A LOT:

  • Deciding to quit
  • The 5 step quitting process
  • Fears of quitting & quitting fears
  • Logistics of quitting
  • NO GHOSTING!
  • Sunk Cost Fallacy & “I’ve invested so much time!”
  • And so much more!

TECHNICALLY DATING (40:20)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should your boyfriend have to deal with your family drama?
  • What to say when you don’t want a second date

STAY SEXY IN 2019

Get back in shape after the holiday by beginning a program with Beach Body on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

Gender Identity & Astrology of Love

IS LOVE IN THE STARS FOR YOU THIS FALL?

Carol Allen, from Love Is In the Stars, co-hosts this week’s episode. Carol is an astrologer who steers the love lives of many women based on what is written in the stars. Today on the show, she gives us a fantastic fall love forecast and joins us to talk about gender and sexuality because she has a personal connection to this topic through a close transgender family member who she’s supported through his transition. Together with our guest panel, Damona and Carol unpack what your dating life can learn from the experiences of those who have a different sexual orientation or gender identity than you do.

D’S DATING DISH

Why are divorce rates going down?

Thanks millennials! According to Time, a recent study shows that divorce rates dropped 18% from 2008 to 2016 and this is due mostly to the lower divorce rates among millennials. Is it really all that surprising that millennials are divorcing less than generations before them? We don’t think so.

What can you learn from Gen Z daters

According to a study done by the dating app Zoosk, there are a number things that Gen Z does right when it comes to dating. Gen Zers are the least picky daters and swipe right on 33% of the matches they are presented with. How can this help you and what else can you learn from this study? We have answers.

Your childhood faves have a new relationship status!

It’s been a few weeks since former Sesame Street writer, Mark Saltzman, confirmed that Bert and Ernie are indeed a gay couple. The official Sesame Workshop says differently, however. Does it matter whether Bert and Ernie are gay? Does representation matter – even in kids programming? Or are we taking the puppet relationship dynamic too far? The discussion heats up this week.

IDENTITY, SEXUALITY, AND GENDER

Sexuality and Gender Identity: Are they fixed or fluid? How do you know if the way you’ve been living or dating might be limiting your possibility of finding true love and happiness? We sat down with Jasmine Luna and Harry Caldwell to learn more about their experience.

Jasmine Luna is your average queer, transgender, latinx witch. She is a strong advocate for her queer community, which includes work at the Trevor Project and the Los Angeles LGBT Center.

Harry Caldwell is a Jewelry Designer, Yoga Instructor, and Tantra Instructor. He has identified as Pansexual for the last 15+ years and feels compelled to share his knowledge of the energy of love with everyone he encounters in order to reduce the amount of suffering in the world.

We talked about A LOT:

  • Pansexuality, Omnisexuality, Bisexuality, Transexuality
  • Transitioning
  • What it’s like Transitioning within a relationship
  • Pronouns & Identity
  • Mixed Raced Identity & Sexuality
  • Tantra & Unifying the Masculine and Feminine Energies within us
  • Dating in Los Angeles versus other cities
  • How to maintain outgoing mentality towards dating apps
  • Hookup Culture and Pansexuality
  • Making Love & Deep Intimate Connection
  • The Trevor Project
  • Panty Hose
  • Chickens

TECHNICALLY DATING  

via GIPHY

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Is it normal to be dating multiple people online?
  • How can you tell if they’re busy or blowing you off?

FALL LOVE FORECAST

Carol Allen gives us the scoop on what the upcoming #VenusRetrograde means for your love life.

Get Carol’s compatibility report half off HERE using the offer code HALFOFF.

Join Damona’s community for free by taking your free e-course at DatesandMates.com

Follow Harry @CaldwellCrafted on IG

Follow Jasmine on IG @the_witchy_wonder and read her adventures jasmineseclipse.blogspot.com

Get your psychic reading from AskNow.com toll free at 877-626-1034