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Master Class: First Dates

SUMMER LOVE

Lovers, it’s the first official week of summer! Welcome to the first official episode of the Dates & Mates Summer Love Series.

The topic this week? First Dates.

First dates are the foundation of every great relationship. The tone and the rules you set at the beginning will follow you into the relationship or squash the potential for one to develop. In this master class, Damona tells you how to plan the perfect first date. Here’s the rundown:

Why are first dates so important? (1:30)

Should I google my date before I go? (2:00)

The Phone Call (4:00)

What should wear on a first date? (8:00)

What’s a good thing to do on a first date? (13:00)

How long should a first date be? (16:00)

7 Date Ideas BETTER THAN A DINNER DATE (21:00)

STILL HAVE QUESTIONS?

Get Damona’s First Date Starter Kit. You get advice on:

  • The one thing you should ALWAYS always ALWAYS  do before a first date.
  • How to ensure a second date if you like the person you’re on a first date with
  • And conversation tips to make sure it never falls flat or feels boring – crucial first date advice
  • It also has an audio program that shows you 7 different ways to make a match and how to maximize their effectiveness
  • This is perfect for anyone who feels like they’re burnt out on dating apps and need new ways to meet people
  • Or if you feel like you’re doing everything you can to make a match but it’s simply not working
  • This concise program is packed with actionable advice and in it I will teach you all the steps that I’ve used with my clients over the last 13 years to bring them more dates, and better quality dates
  • And all the crucial steps you need to take before, during, and after to set yourself up for dating success.
  • Do all the people you like on a first date never seem to call again?
  • Do you find yourself getting tongue-tied or overwhelmed on a first date?
  • Are you bored with your first dates and feeling like you’re running out of options?

Get your First Date Starter Kit at FirstDateStarterKit.Com

 

Dear Damona: Beyoncé & The 35 Year Old Virgin

Giving you a little extra LOVE this week!

Today we’re back with another BONUS Dear Damona episode! Last week, I received a few questions from people who are feeling a little extra unlucky in dating, so I dedicated an entire episode to giving the Dates & Mates community a little extra love. 

If you’re a 35 Year Old Virgin, will men think there’s something wrong with you? (1:00)

If you’re openly dating a girl and she sees you on another date, is it awkward? (6:30)

If your man doesn’t like Beyoncé, should you drop him or educate him? (9:50)

How do I start dating when people don’t even give me a chance? (13:15)

Let me know if you like this “Dear Damona” Q & A style episode in the reviews!

 

Self Love & Vulnerability

Love Yourself First

Have you ever heard the phrase, “You have to love yourself before you can love someone else”?

If you remember a few episodes ago titled “Marriage Boot Camp & Bad Advice,” Dr. V’s opinion was that you can’t love yourself in the same way that your partner would love you. Which is true.

BUT it got us thinking: there is some value in being able to understand yourself and take care of yourself in order to be more prepared for a healthier relationship. We dedicated this episode to understanding self love as it relates to dating with Jonathon Aslay. Here’s the rundown:

 

D’S DATING DISH

Wendy Williams is dating after filing for divorce

The divorce has finally happened! Should Wendy be dating already after her divorce? Damona and Jonathon have thoughts.

A new way to teach millennials how to date

CNN reports that South Korea is teaching university students how to date through a “Gender and Culture” class. Is this the most effective way to teach dating? Damona breaks it down.

Match announces a new service, a one-on-one phone call with an expert dating coach

Match is personalizing the world of online dating! What does this mean for you?

GO LOVE YOURSELF

Jonathon is America’s leading Midlife relationships expert and he has just published a fantastic guide to self love as it relates to dating called, “What the Heck is Self Love Anyway?”

Self love is an antidote to potential chaos,” Jonathon explains.

Chaos in your life is going to come in a variety of forms – whether it’s a relationship transition, job stress, family stress, etc.

“You have to learn to take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else,” Jonathon explains. A good self love and personal development practice will help you be ready for your next relationship.

In this episode, Jonathon explains:

  • How to allow yourself to feel your feelings
  • How to begin a daily personal development practice
  • How to “Shift away from the mundane and fill your own cup with love.”

Get Jonathon’s book today!

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to be vulnerable again in a relationship?
  • Why not talk about politics, religion, and money on a first date?
  • How do you get motivated to date again?

GETTING GLAMMED UP FOR A DATE?

Have a hot date this weekend or another event that you want to glam it up for? Let Glamsquad help you out with Damona’s code! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 off your first service with my special code Damona20.

Dear Damona: DTR & Juggling Dates

DEAR DAMONA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lately, we have been flooded with questions from the Dates & Mates community looking for all kinds of love and dating advice so we dedicated this week’s episode entirely to answering all of your questions! Evin Rose, Millennial Love Life & Dating Coach, returns this episode to help Damona really deep dive into your questions and give you their best advice. We talked about A LOT. Here’s the rundown:

(1:50) Should you tell your friend if his fiance is being manipulative?

Kayleigh from Facebook asks: Dear Damona – I have a friend who is madly in love with a girl from Spain. She is very obviously in not as into him and is definitely manipulative. Recently, she has been panicking about having to move back to Spain and not being able to work here without citizenship. My friend proposed to her because he loves her “so much” and is positive that he wants to marry her. Just from previous conversations I’ve had with her, I KNOW that she is not as into him and is using him to stay in the US. Should I say something to him?  

(4:27) Should you sleep with someone on a third date?

Dear Damona: So I was going on a 3rd date with a guy and the date was ok but since we had physical chemistry I didn’t mind just making out. Then he asked to do it to which I replied no. Then he says he’s not asking for a proposal and he feels rejected and how does he think it makes him feel to be rejected if I say no in the future. I said sleeping with someone too early usually makes them disappear and sure enough, he disappeared. Am I wrong to feel that his explanation is manipulative?

(8:30) If you have a good first date, should you stop talking to the other matches on your dating profile?

Lisa asks: I listen to your podcast and it is so helpful! I just recently started dating again and I’m just wondering what the proper protocol is regarding online dating. I went on a first date yesterday with a guy that I like and could have potential for a LTR. At the same time, I have several messages from other guys in my app that I want to explore. If I feel the person I had the date with had potential, should I stop communicating with other guys on the app? Thank you.

(10:42) When do you have that “Define the Relationship” talk?

(16:50) What is the deal with ghosting?

Jessica emails:What is going on with ghosting. In the last year I’ve been stood up for first dates, dropped after great 3rd dates, and generally treated like trash by the men in LA. I blame dating apps but I’m open to your interpretation. WTF please help!

LOOKING FOR THIS WEEK’S HEADLINES?

Don’t worry! We’ve got you. Damona keeps everyone up to date on this week’s dating headlines on Instagram. This week was a JUICY week for celebrity news. Follow Damona on Instagram (@DamonaHoffman) for the headlines including: did Prince William cheat on Kate? What’s up with Selena Gomez’s love life and Bumbles important new eggplant blocking feature.

 

 

ARE YOU MISSING ALL THE GOOD MATCHES ONLINE?

There are millions of people on dating apps worldwide. If you’re not finding love there, your profile may be the problem. Use Damona’s FREE guide to creating the ultimate MAGNETIC online dating profile. Get the Profile Starter Kit at profilestarterkit.com

Dr. Jenn’s Relationship Fix & The Communication Crisis

COMMUNICATE BETTER IN YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP

In all of Damona’s years as a dating coach, she has learned all the different ways people navigate modern love. One issue keeps coming up as challenging for all our listeners: Communication.

We are in a communication crisis right now, people! With an overload of information and an undervaluing of the person on the other end of the phone or computer, it is clear that we are having trouble forming real connections. This week we talk about how to form better relationships through communication and connection. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:25)

Is society done with Slut Shaming once and for all?

This week, some VERY personal pictures of Amanda Seyfried were leaked on the internet. We are happy to report that most fans supported Amanda instead of slut shaming. Damona and Dr. Jenn have thoughts.

Create Healthier Texting Habits

At the beginning of a relationship, it can be hard to establish healthy texting habits with your new boo. Damona and Dr. Jenn have your solution.

The Four Major Predictors of Divorce

According to the Gottman study, there are four major predictors of divorce within the first five years of marriage and three more relationship conflicts that will make you fall out of love ASAP. Damona and Dr. Jenn break it down.

DR. JENN’S RELATIONSHIP FIX (18:00)

Damona brought in the creme de la creme of experts to enlighten us about communication and connection in relationships –  VH1’s Dr. Jenn Mann. You may know her from the hit show Couple’s Therapy with Dr. Jenn or her many best selling books on improving relationships, but she is also a licensed LMFT who has been practicing for almost three decades.

Dr. Jenn and Damona talk about her newest book, The Relationship Fix. This interview isn’t just for couples who want to fix their relationships, Dr. Jenn says her communication advice is for singles who “want to do it right next time.”

We talked about A LOT:

  • Using conflicts to strengthen your relationship
  • Connection is the greatest vaccination against infidelity
  • Dealing with criticism
  • Recognizing and knowing when unresolved issues can ruin a relationship
  • How to make an effective apology
  • Will he actually change this time?
  • Concrete Action is key
  • Getting over infidelity
  • Living in fear hurts your relationship
  • Attachment styles
  • And so much more!

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:27)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • If a girl brings a friend to a first date, it’s over right?
  • I’m dating someone with an STD. How screwed am I?
  • Some tips on how to make my IG profile a dating profile?
  • I think I’m dating someone in another relationship. How can I investigate/ not be creepy.
  • At the start of a relationship, how much time do you give before you have the talk?

GETTING GLAMMED UP FOR A DATE?

Have a hot date this weekend or another event that you want to glam it up for? Let Glamsquad help you out with Damona’s code! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 off your first service with my special code Damona20.

Women’s History Month & Refridgerdating

IT’S #WOMENSHISTORYMONTH!

As a dating coach for 13 years, Damona has seen shifts in dating trends and watched as women become more empowered in their dating lives. How do these things impact women’s dating destiny? Internationally renowned matchmaker and TV personality Carmelia Ray returns to co-host this episode with lots of insight on how women and men relate to each other in 2019. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:45)

The surprising reason ARod’s relationship with JLO is a lot of pressure

HUGE Congrats to JLO and AROD who announced this month that they are engaged! Shortly after the engagement, ARod revealed why a relationship with JLo is a lot of pressure for him. Damona and Carmelia break it down.

New Trend Alert: Honeymoon Edition

This just in! Ditch your new spouse and go on the honeymoon of your dreams BY YOURSELF! Damona and Carmelia are not here for this new trend and they explain why.

Meet Your New Matchmaker: Your Fridge

Predicted right here on Dates & Mates! Refridgerdating has just launched allowing you to see into your match’s fridge before you decide to make a move. Damona and Carmelia have thoughts.

NOW IS THE BEST TIME IN HISTORY FOR WOMEN TO DATE (11:30)

In honor of Women’s History Month, Damona sits down with Robert Kandell, interpersonal communication expert who helps women and men relate to each other better in the #MeToo Era. We talked about A LOT:

  • Shifts in acceptable dating behavior for women & men
  • Dating Patterns
  • Dating in big cities vs dating elsewhere
  • Do women need men anymore?
  • FOMO and Investing in relationships
  • Women have a higher earning potential and don’t have to settle!
  • “Men are acting more like boys, and women are acting more like men.” – Robert Kandell
  • And so much more!

If you liked this interview Damona has some supplemental material for you! Don’t miss Damona’s Communication Master Class and her interview with The Angry Therapist on Male EQ

TECHNICALLY DATING (46:03)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Why are women choosing to stay single for longer?
  • What is the best way to date if you have decided to ditch dating apps?

HATE GYMS?

Damona always says that working out has greatly improved her relationship with her body. Begin a program with Beach Body on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

Body Positivity & BDE

HOW MUCH WEIGHT SHOULD YOU LOSE BEFORE DATING? NONE!

Absolutely none. You are perfect the way you are! If you have ever felt insecure about your body, you are not alone. This week, Damona invited Marquis Olison to co-host and welcomed a guest panel of singles to talk about their experiences with body image and dating. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH

How is Pete Davidson pulling all the hot chicks?

This week, Kate Beckinsale and Pete Davidson were immortalized via meme for their EXTREME PDA at a hockey game over the weekend. So how is Pete pulling the hot chicks? Damona and Marquis have THOUGHTS.

Should you actually trust a dating coach?

The dating experts on Married at First Sight Australia are in hot water after after some VERY disastrous matches. Do dating coaches actually know what they’re doing? Damona breaks it down.

Financial red flags in a new relationship

Damona and Marquis discuss a few financial red flags you should watch out for.

BODY POSITIVITY & DATING AT ANY SIZE

Body image has a huge impact on the way we present ourselves in dating and relationships. Damona is joined by a panel of singles who talk about their experiences dating at any size. Erica Faye Washington, Chicago comedian and body positivity activist, talks dating confidence for plus size women. CeCe Chic, yoga coach and actress, encourages daters to find self acceptance. The multitalented Marquis Olison returns to co-host this episode and talk about his experience with dating before and after weight loss. We talked about A LOT:

  • Relationships with health, mind, and body
  • Dating before and after weight loss
  • Dealing with shallow friends and dates
  • Transforming your mentality
  • How our relationships with ourselves affect the younger generation
  • And so much more!

TECHNICALLY DATING (36:02)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How do you find dates with similar values and interests?

HATE GYMS?

Damona always says that working out has greatly improved her relationship with her body. Begin a program with Beach Body on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

Valentines & Love in 90 Days

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T STRESS ABOUT VALENTINES DAY

Are you facing another Valentine’s Day single? It’s not too late to change your luck in love. Damona specializes in helping people get unstuck in love fast and so does our co-host for this week, Dr. Diana Kirschner. In this very special Valentine’s Day episode we get you answers on how to change your dating destiny! Here’s the rundown:

LOVE IN 90 DAYS (1:41)

You may know Dr. Diana Kirschner from her PBS show or her best selling book, Love in 90 Days. Love in 90 Days has changed so many lives over the past 10 years that Dr. Diana has updated, re-released, packed it with even more advice on how to find love fast.

  • Dr. Diana’s three steps to finding love in 90 Days
  • Where most people go wrong in dating
  • Identifying self-sabotaging patterns that prevent you from finding love
  • Finding Self Confidence & Self Worth
  • Diamond Self Identity & The Radiant Beacon of Loving Guidance
  • Dating three people at once
  • How to make sure you don’t miss “The One”
  • And so much more!

Get the book and $1000 worth of BONUS content at LoveIn90Days.com

TECHNICALLY DATING (18:41)

This week we coach singles LIVE on air! We gave so much good advice so TAKE NOTES:

  • Why do we put so much pressure on our dates?
  • Where do you find people who won’t ghost you?
  • What do you do when someone wants to commit too fast?

Thank you to Marquis, Deb, and Lauren for coming into the studio and allowing us to give them guidance! Marquis, Deb, and Lauren are SINGLE and READY TO MINGLE, Ladies and Gents. Slide in those DMs!!

(But def use a better opening line than this^)

And don’t forget to submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show!

SPREAD THE LOVE THIS VALENTINE’S WEEK

A HUGE THANK YOU to Apple Podcasts for featuring us on the front page this week! We are one of a handful of podcasts included in their Valentine’s Week “In the Mood for Love” playlist! Do you love the Dates & Mates Podcast? If you do, please take a moment to  REVIEW & SUBSCRIBE! The more subscribers and reviews we get, the longer we can continue to give all of this great dating content for free!

SUBSCRIBE HERE!

ARE YOU MISSING ALL THE GOOD MATCHES ONLINE?

There are millions of people on dating apps worldwide. If you’re not finding love there, your profile may be the problem. Use Damona’s FREE guide to creating the ultimate MAGNETIC online dating profile. Get the Profile Starter Kit at profilestarterkit.com

Religion & Relationships

HOW DO YOU CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS WITH YOUR BOO?

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With the holidays in full swing, cross-cultural romances can get a little sticky. How do you incorporate your SO in your family’s traditions? There’s no right or wrong answer here, but we invited Evan Marc Katz, one of the foremost dating experts for women in the world, in studio with us to talk it out. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:39)

Cardi B & Offset Break Up: Y’all Won

In case you missed it, Cardi B announced her split with Offset via instagram. While this is not surprising, Evan and Damona have some solid advice for Offset, who seems to be taking this hard.

Do you have the “skin hunger”?

No, the Zombie Apocalypse is not impending. We’re talking about the simple, human desire for physical contact called “skin hunger”. Did you know that cuddle parties exist just for the sole purpose of giving people non-sexual physical contact?

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Are you dating a psychopath?

According to the latest research, it is estimated that about 1 in 100 people are psychopaths. Odds are, you’re not going to run into Norman Bates, but there are a few red flags you need to know. Damona and Evan break it down.

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CROSS-CULTURAL ROMANCE (37:47)

Obviously, Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra won best wedding of the year. At Dates & Mates, we LOVE how they incorporated each other in their family traditions and made their own rules for their wedding. Priyanka’s instagram coverage of the wedding was absolutely STUNNING, honey.

This week we celebrated cross-cultural romance with Evan Marc Katz to talk about our experiences in interfaith relationships and lead a panel on navigating cross-cultural romance. We were joined by Tiffany Renee, who shares her experiences dating in LA as a Muslim woman and Katy & Matt Snyder, celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary by sharing insights on how they’ve managed a PerJewvian relationship and raised their two children. We talked about A LOT:

  • Cross Cultural Dating
  • JDate and other faith based dating apps
  • When do you have the religion conversation?
  • Converting to your SO’s religion
  • Negotiating beliefs and raising kids with religion
  • First Holiday season with your SO

TECHNICALLY DATING (36:02)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should you marry your SO to keep them in the country?

STAY SEXY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

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On average people gain 2-5 lbs over the holidays. You can fight to get it off in January or you can stop the holiday heaviness before it starts by beginning a program with Beach Body on demand. Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

Summer Date Ideas & FWB Feelings

We’re so excited to be back! On our return episode, International Matchmaker Jessica Fass joined Damona in studio along with Producer J to share great summer date ideas to heat things up in love while the weather is still warm. Headlines include: harsh criticism for The Bachelor and dating shows in the era of #MeToo, what your date’s texting habits mean, and Facebook’s new dating app. Plus questions from listeners like what do you do if you are catching feelings for a friend with benefits (FWB) and how you can get a $1000 loan back from someone you broke up with.

 

D’S DATING DISH (3:36)

What can you tell about your date from their texting habits?

On average, millennials reach out to their date within two days after a date ends if they’re interested in pursuing things further. This checks out, as 89% of single women say they want to be contacted within that time frame. That age-old adage of the three-day rule has fallen by the wayside, with only six percent of single ladies still holding by it. You can read more via Elite Daily here.

Is it time to retire dating shows in the #MeToo era?

The Bachelor and Bachelorette have changed, with unceremonious dumping and accusations of contestants being sex offenders; that’s not even to mention the mess that is the recent show The Proposal. In the #MeToo era, are these examples of entertainment outdated? Perhaps the combination of alcohol, producer pressure, and exploitation should no longer be considered viable. You can read more via USA Today here.

Facebook has started internal testing of its dating app

Two months after announcing its launch, Facebook has begun testing its dating app among its employees. US Facebook employees currently have access to the beta, although the company has asked them to make fake profiles that will be deleted upon public launch. You can read more via The Verge here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:46)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • How to handle a friends with benefits situation
  • How to deal with an ex who owes you a sizable sum of money

And more . . .

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP (46:51)

In this segment, we brainstorm as to who would best fit a celebrity looking for love. Up this week was Selena Gomez. Tune in to see who we think she should be looking out for!

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Join Damona’s newsletter at DatesandMates.comand claim your free dating course.

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