Tag Archive for: advice for singles

12 Unique Holiday Date Ideas That’ll Spark Connection

The holidays are a magical time to connect, share laughs, and create memories. Whether it’s a first date or rekindling old flames, finding unique date ideas can make all the difference. We’ve put together creative, meaningful, and fun holiday experiences to impress and build a genuine bond.

1. Holiday Lights Walk

Bundle up, grab some hot cocoa, and take a stroll through a holiday lights display. Many neighborhoods or city parks transform into winter wonderlands this time of year. Walking side-by-side gives you time to talk, while the festive lights create the perfect atmosphere.

2. Gingerbread House Building

Get hands-on with a little friendly competition. Buy a gingerbread house kit or make your own components if you’re feeling ambitious. Decorating together sparks creativity and allows for plenty of laughs when things don’t go as planned. Bonus: you can enjoy some sweet treats along the way.

3. Holiday Market Stroll

Wander through a local holiday market or craft fair. The cozy booths, festive music, and hot drinks create a cheerful vibe. You can shop for small gifts or trinkets while sharing stories about favorite holiday traditions.

4. Ice Skating Adventure

Whether you’re a seasoned skater or a total beginner, an ice-skating outing is charming and fun. Holding hands while gliding—or wobbling—across the ice naturally builds a connection. Follow it up with warm drinks at a nearby café.

5. Home Movie Night with Holiday Classics

Transform your living room into a holiday theater. Pick classic holiday movies, gather soft blankets, and enjoy popcorn or seasonal snacks. This cozy option lets you relax without the distractions of a crowded theater.

6. Charity Volunteering Together

Spread holiday cheer by giving back. Sign up to serve meals at a shelter, host a toy drive, or pack care packages together. You’ll connect on a deeper level through shared purpose and compassion. Plus, it feels great to help others during the season.

7. Holiday-Themed Escape Room

If you both enjoy puzzles, this is a fun way to test your teamwork. Many escape rooms offer holiday-themed challenges this time of year. Working side-by-side to “escape” gives you insight into how the other person communicates and thinks.

8. Wine Tasting with Seasonal Pairings

Visit a local winery or wine bar offering seasonal tasting menus. Savoring wines paired with holiday snacks or desserts sets the mood. You can chat about your preferences and learn something new together in a relaxed, cozy setting.

9. Christmas Tree Farm Outing

Head to a local Christmas tree farm to pick out a tree (if they need one) or just enjoy the atmosphere. Roam under the evergreens together, sip apple cider, and maybe even snap a photo or two. It’s an easy way to enjoy classic holiday charm.

10. Cooking a Festive Meal Together

Skip the crowded restaurants and plan a holiday cooking night at home. Choose fun, festive recipes—like roasted veggies, spiced cookies, or mulled wine. Cooking together is an intimate way to bond, share laughs over mishaps, and enjoy a homemade meal.

11. Winter Hike with Scenic Views

Not all holiday dates need to be indoors. If you both enjoy nature, bundle up for a winter hike. Many trails are quieter this time of year, and snow-dusted landscapes can feel almost magical. Pack a thermos with warm drinks to share at the summit.

12. Festive DIY Ornament Crafting

Bring out your creative sides by making holiday ornaments together. Whether simple or elaborate, it’s an activity that encourages laughter and teamwork. You’ll leave with mementos you can both cherish, no matter where the relationship leads.

Conclusion

Holiday dates don’t need to be complicated or expensive to be special. By focusing on shared activities, creativity, and the season’s warmth, you’ll leave a lasting impression. Whether skating under twinkling lights or crafting ornaments, these unique holiday ideas go beyond the ordinary and help build genuine connections. Get out there, have fun, and let the holiday magic work its charm.

The Great Dating Power Shift: Who Really Makes the Rules Now?

Dating today looks different than it did just a few decades ago. Gender roles, once rigid and predictable, are now more fluid and open to interpretation. 

As traditional expectations shift, single women aged 20-45 are navigating these evolving dynamics in their search for love. 

Let’s look at how gender roles play out in modern dating and what it means for women stepping into the dating world in an era that values balance and equality.

Are Traditional Gender Roles Still Relevant?

Some of us wonder if traditional gender roles still hold sway in a world that champions individuality. In past decades, men were typically expected to make the first move, pay for dates, and take on the role of the protector. Meanwhile, women were often seen as the nurturers, the ones to be “wooed.”

Fast forward to today, and we’re seeing more of a mixed approach. Many Gen Z daters are grappling with questions like, “Who should pay on the first date?” While some believe men should always foot the bill, others argue for the importance of sharing financial responsibility.

But here’s the truth, as noted in “F the Fairy Tale”: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, dating should feel like a dance, not a tug-of-war. Reevaluate outdated scripts and embrace authenticity in relationships.

The First Move: Who Makes It?

A growing number of women feel empowered to take the lead when it comes to asking someone out. For some, it’s a clear rejection of old-school norms. However, others still appreciate when men initiate—the key is understanding and respecting each person’s individual preferences.

We also see this reflected on dating apps. Bumble initially launched as the app where women make the first move and although they have recently rolled that back and allow anyone to initiate a chat after matching, it caused us to reevaluate antiquated rules about who makes the first move. 

In fact, OkCupid data revealed that conversations lasted twice as long when women messaged first so there are tangible benefits behind shaking up gender rules. Ultimately, what we’re striving for is balance—a dynamic where both partners feel equally valued and invested.

Sharing or Splitting Responsibilities?

The topic of finances in dating often sparks debate. Should men continue paying for most dates, or should we share the cost? Surveys suggest opinions are divided. Some women prefer traditional chivalry and view it as a sign of effort, while others see shared expenses as reflective of an egalitarian partnership.

Cultural expectations influence these choices, too. For example, studies highlight how some Australian women still lean toward traditional dating scripts. Their preference often aligns with broader societal values they grew up with.

In contrast, many women today are financially independent and don’t feel comfortable allowing someone else to always pay. Splitting helps them maintain autonomy and signals respect for mutual effort.

We also hear confusion from LGBTQ daters around bill-splitting. Overall, for daters of all genders, it seems that the fairest thing is for the person who asked to offer to pay or to “go dutch.”

Shifting Expectations Around Masculinity

One of the most intriguing currentdating trends focuses on reimagining masculinity. Articles discuss “open-hearted masculinity,” which redefines male roles in relationships. The focus shifts from dominance to emotional vulnerability, recognizing that closeness and trust build lasting connections.

Women are seeking men who listen, communicate openly, and show emotional awareness. These modern “masculine traits” challenge outdated gender stereotypes, helping couples create healthier dynamics.

Are We Doing Things “Right”?

It’s easy to feel unsure about where we stand when navigating updated relationship dynamics. One partner might prefer traditional gestures, while the other sees them as outdated. This clash of expectations can lead to misunderstandings.

So, how do we navigate these issues? Simple—communication. Talk openly about what makes each of you comfortable. Are thoughtful actions, like opening doors, appreciated or unnecessary? Is it important that one person leads, or does balance feel better? When both partners listen, they’re more likely to find common ground.

The Bottom Line on Gender Roles in Dating

The days of strict gender roles in dating are fading, but that doesn’t mean they’re gone entirely. Instead, modern dating sees a fusion of old and new. Some people still hold on to classic ideas, while others embrace flexibility.

Ultimately, finding love requires authenticity. Be upfront about what feels natural to you. Whether you enjoy chivalry or prefer splitting the check, there’s no wrong way—just what works best in your relationship.

Stop striving for what’s ‘normal.’ Start building the love story that works for you.

Dating is less about conforming to rules and more about creating mutual happiness. Instead of worrying whether you’re doing it “right,” focus on what feels genuine. With communication, respect, and balance, modern relationships can surpass outdated molds—and lead us to meaningful connections.

 

single and sitting around the thanksgiving dinner table being asked if they are single.

Single for the Holidays? Here’s How to Handle Nosy Family Questions

Holidays can be heartwarming—gathered around the table, enjoying laughs, and sharing stories. But for singles, they can also bring relentless questioning.

“Why are you still single?” or “Are you dating anyone?” suddenly become the headliners of family conversations. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone in dreading that annual pressure.

Let’s unpack how to navigate these moments with grace, humor, and confidence.

Understanding Family Dynamics

Whether it’s your chatty aunt or a curious cousin, families love updates. Often, this stems from a genuine concern or love for you.

However, the constant focus on your relationship status can feel isolating if you’re single. Families tend to project their views about milestones—relationships, marriage, kids—onto younger generations.

It’s less about personal attacks and more about their expectations of “what’s next” for you. But that doesn’t make it any easier to sit through.

Common Questions You Might Hear

Here’s a sneak peek at the greatest hits you might hear this holiday season:

  • “Why are you still single?”: Often said as though your relationship status is a puzzle to solve.
  • “Have you tried dating apps?”: As if they’ve cracked modern romance.
  • “Don’t you want kids?”: A question that could not feel more personal.
  • “I know someone perfect for you!”: Cue the awkward blind-date matchmaking.

No matter the intent, these phrases can feel invasive.

The Pressure of Expectations

Family dynamics create moments where expectations rise like an invisible fog.

For singles, there’s often the unspoken assumption that the ultimate life goal is finding a partner. If you’re content in your singlehood, it might feel invalidated by repeated questioning.

The result? Stress, self-doubt, or frustration by the time dessert is served. Understanding this dynamic can help you take a compassionate approach—even as you find strategies to manage the discomfort.

Coping Strategies for Singles

Here are ways to shield your peace when conversations about your singlehood arise.

Prepare Your Responses

Having a response ready makes unexpected questions much less awkward. Use humor, honesty, or even deflection, depending on the mood:

Humor: “I figured I’d save room at the table for extra pie instead of a partner.”

Honest but firm: “I’m happy where I am right now—thanks for asking.”

Playful: “Still single! Any takers here know Prince Harry’s backup cousin?”

Practice these responses ahead of time to deliver them calmly and with a smile.

Shift the Focus

When conversations veer into uncomfortable territory, subtly change the topic. Ask about their hobbies, interests, or holiday plans. It’s easier to dodge questions when you steer the conversation elsewhere. For example:

“Enough about me! How’s your new project going?”

“Speaking of relationships, how did you and Uncle Bob first meet?”

Redirecting the spotlight can take the pressure off you.

Practice Self-Care

Family gatherings can be draining, so prioritize checking in with yourself.

Whether it’s stepping outside for fresh air or finding a quiet corner for a moment to breathe, don’t underestimate the power of small breaks.

If staying overnight, bring comforting items like a book or playlist to unwind.

Self-care also means knowing when to say no—don’t overextend yourself for anyone’s expectations.

Finding Joy in Being Single

The holidays are an excellent time to celebrate where you are in life—single, dating, or otherwise.

Celebrating Independence

Being single means ultimate flexibility. You control your decisions, your time, and how you enjoy the season.

Want to binge a feel-good movie marathon? Go for it. Interested in splurging on a gift for yourself? You deserve it.

Embrace your freedom during the holidays rather than feeling pressured by societal norms.

Creating Your Own Traditions

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, create traditions that celebrate you.

Cook your favorite festive meal, decorate your space exactly how you want, or host a “Friendsmas” with other singles.

These personalized traditions can make the holiday season feel refreshing and rewarding.

When to Seek Support

If holiday stress feels overwhelming, seeking support can help.

Building a Support Network

Friends and like-minded communities can offer a buffer. Some friends may also struggle with similar family conversations, so lean on each other.

Plan outings or virtual catch-ups between holiday gatherings to decompress and share laughs.

Professional Help

If the pressure and comments about your singlehood feel too heavy, consider speaking with a therapist. They can provide tools to manage stress, set boundaries, or respond to tough conversations.

Find Your Joy!

The holidays aren’t just about family traditions—they’re a reminder to find joy, regardless of your relationship status.

By preparing responses, shifting the focus, and embracing your independence, you can transform uncomfortable moments into opportunities for self-assurance.

Stay confident, surround yourself with supportive people, and enjoy the season exactly as you are: whole, complete, and thriving.

Finding Soulmates When Dating Over 30

The Right Time To Find Your Soulmate

This week at Dates & Mates, we’re talking a lot about dating over 30 and the right time to find your soulmate. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: Dating over 30 is no joke. But especially for women dating over 30, there’s a lot of pressure to find a soulmate by a certain age.

I am here to debunk the myth that there is an ideal age for meeting your lifelong partner. In fact, I’m not even sure that soulmates exist… but more on that later.

There is absolutely no specific age to meet your partner, HOWEVER

with my clients I get very specific with life goals (career, kids, etc.) and we work backward from those deadlines. 

If you are dating over 30 and you want to have kids, biologically speaking, you’re ideally going to want to be married by 33 so you can have a few blissful married years before kids. 

You see stories of celebrities having kids into their mid 40s and even 50s but the reality is that it becomes more challenging between 35-40 and downright expensive and frustrating from 40-50.

So unless you have the money to freeze your eggs and stop the ticking hands of reproductive time, your choices need to align with a target of being married before 35. 

Does this differ based on gender? Would you say that the male/female ideal age range sink up? 

But I do like to acknowledge that dating over 30 looks a little different for men than it does for women.

I find that the age range for men to settle down is usually a couple of years older than women yet proportional to the men in his area. 

In major metropolitan cities like LA, NY, and SF, both men and women tend to settle down a little later than in other parts of the country but it’s usually in a similar range to their female counterparts in that location. 

I will actually go into this A LOT more in-depth on next week’s episode of Dates & Mates. There are a bunch of new stats that break down what to expect from dating over 30 in your area. So don’t miss out!

If you leave this blog with one takeaway, I want you to remember that at any age and in any area, you’re going to have to put in the work to connect. 

One of my taglines is “Date Like It’s Your Job.” 

You can date by chance and hope you connect with your dream partner or you can date strategically and find someone who is an ideal match for you. I would rather do a little work to get a better result. I also find that the single women over 30 I coach are very successful in their careers – in part because they have given it all of their attention. 

I teach women how to use the skills that have made them professionally successful (analytics, strategy, networking, training, mentorship, determination) to be just as successful in love.

Now, I know I’ve been talking a lot about soulmates, but I’m just going to give it to you straight. 

Soulmates don’t exist.

Don’t panic! I’m just telling you what I’ve observed in my 15 years as a dating coach. Many times, a single woman over 30’s quest for the perfect soulmate causes her to leave a lot of amazing men on the sidelines. 

There are many possible compatible partners out there. 

For my clients, I find that it’s far less daunting to consider that you’re not looking for a needle in a haystack.

It’s more like you’re looking for a cute outfit on the clothing rack. You have to try on a few options but if you want to take something home, you will find a good fit if you just spend a little time figuring out what works. 

I say this having been happily and passionately married to a compatible partner for 10 years. So I do believe this philosophy can lead to deep love.

Do you think there is such a thing as a “forever person” or do you think it’s more realistic to approach relationships as more of an uncertain thing that can change as the people involved change?

I believe that relationships should always be changing and evolving – just as people change and evolve throughout your lifetime. You might find that as you grow, your relationship either grows with you or away from you. I hope for all of my clients that they find a forever person. 

However, I think every relationship has its merits in helping you learn and grow as a person and if you come to a place where the relationship becomes more work than it brings you joy, that might have been the right relationship for a phase in your life but not forever.

If you’re dating over 30 and you’re feeling the pressure to find love fast, hopefully this was helpful. Remember, you can always DM me your dating questions on all the socials (@DamonaHoffman) or if you just need some dating confidence I’m always here for you.

xoxo Happy Dating!

Here are a few other resources from this week you might want to check out:

WHOREible Decisions : Dating apps can be brutal. Check out this HILARIOUS interview I did with Mandii if you need a little refresher on how to make the apps work for you!!

The Dating Advice Girl : Does your mom give the worst dating advice? She might. The Dating Advice Girl and I analyze dating advice from the 50s and tell you exactly what is wrong!

PepsiCo Jobs’ Podcast, UNEXPECTED PROFESSOR : Just like I said above – Date like it’s your job. And actually you can use dating tips to level up your professional networking game. Trust me, this absolutely works. 

The Marriage Minded Man & Fatherly Advice

What can a MARRIED MAN teach you about DATING?

In honor of her 12th wedding anniversary, Damona sits down with a panel of married guys to understand how marriage-minded men find the one and which factors could be keeping people from finding a dream partnership. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (5:09)

Congrats Issa Rae!

Issa Rae’s co-stars have confirmed that she is engaged! She has kept this relationship super under wraps for several reasons. As a celebrity, should she get to pick and choose what aspects of her life she keeps private? Damona has thoughts.

What makes a good match in 2019

Data shows that women have much different expectations of their future husbands than they did in the 1930s. Damona and her father break it down.

How Your High School Friendships Affect Your Relationship

A new study shows that having close, platonic friendships in your teenage years actually impacts how your love life will play out in your late twenties. Damona breaks it down.

THE MIND OF MARRIAGE-MINDED MEN (13:22)

If you’ve been listening to the show for a while, you already know that Damona’s husband Seth’s goal was marriage from the beginning (it only took him 3.5 years to convince her.)

Many of Damona’s single female clients seem to have the impression that most men would play the field forever if they could yet her single male clients have shown that there are a lot of men like Seth whose ultimate goal is to marry, have a family, and be monogamous. Damona’s anniversary got her thinking:

What can single men and women learn from marriage-minded men?

Damona is joined by a very special guest, HER DAD! Dr. Resnick dishes some great fatherly advice about marriage and relationships. Also joining Damona on this panel are two happily married men: content creator Simeon Weinraub and internationally-known comedian Raj Sharma, who share what they learned in singlehood, partnerships, and now marriage.

We talked about A LOT:

  • What marriage-minded men keep on their list
  • The elements of a successful relationship
  • Why are we still divorcing at a 50% rate?
  • Does love at first sight exist?
  • Putting in the work in a relationship to make it work
  • Why you shouldn’t keep a safety net
  • Are relationships work?
  • Anticipating your spouse’s needs and building together
  • STOP going for the Bad Boy
  • And so much more!

TECHNICALLY DATING (39:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What happens when you lose a loving relationship because of a dating app addiction?
  • How to sort matches when you’re dating with a disability

HATE GYMS?

Damona always says that working out has greatly improved her relationship with her body. Begin a program with BeachBody on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.