Dating Horrors & Avoiding Ghosting



Big Takeaways from this episode are: Don’t be weird on first dates and avoid ghosting!

For everyone who is new to the Dates & Mates community, every year we round up the funniest stories of the absolute WORST dates in history. Let’s laugh together about the most horrible, freaky, WILD dates 

Then I break them down and tell you how you can avoid getting yourself trapped in one of these situations!


Should you join a paternity union?

WARNING: Do not procreate with Future. His baby mamas are unionizing and Damona gives us the run down.


What’s up with the ghosts?

According to a  new study from Dating.Com, 45% of daters ghost after the first date because they feel that it’s just easier to drop all communication. Aren’t y’all tired of ghosts and ghosting? Damona has THOUGHTS on avoiding ghosting. 


What is a paperclipping and why won’t it leave you alone?

NEW fun dating term courtesy of AskMen: Paperclipping. Damona breaks it down, but this picture says it all:



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We’re TEAM NATASHA! Don’t forget to subscribe to her podcast, Kinda Dating, so you don’t miss Damona’s upcoming interviews! 

PROM NIGHT (22:00)

For more HILARIOUS stories, you can find Rob on instagram (@icecoldrob)


Rhumel of Girrrl Can I Ask You Something, is GREAT! Check out her podcast!


Lysz Flo is cracking us UP! Check out her podcast, Creatively Exposed!

Love & Loss



After a breakup, divorce, or a loss of a partner, we often ask ourselves this question.

In the description of this show we say you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll believe in love again. But have you ever had to learn how to love again after loss?

 Whether you’ve been through a breakup, divorce, or the passing of your partner this episode is for you. Healing your heart is a long process – A lot of us feel guilty moving on or feel like we’ll never find someone as great as what we once had.

We’ve all been there. 

But today we want to give you hope. That is why I’ve brought in Gladys Diaz – a love expert who helps people learn to love and trust again.

She is the co-founder of The Love Twins of Heart’s Desire International. 

After being widowed at a young age, Gladys believed that she would never love or be loved again. She and her sister developed  a program that women how to love after loss – a program that she followed to meet the second man of her dreams 19 years ago. Here’s the rundown:


How to find the perfect first date spot

According to GQ, you should find a few first date spots and stick to them. Damona and Gladys discuss.

Do you really need to find your intellectual match?

Damona and Gladys have thoughts on this article from Female First. 

Do you want to feel safer when dating?

Apparently there is a brand new chaperoning / matchmaking service that takes away the pressure of meeting a stranger in public for the first time. Is this really necessary?

Love & Loss

Learn to Love Again

Gladys lost the love of her life at age 27. After some time, she developed a program to heal her own heart and open herself up to love again. Gladys now helps women of all backgrounds heal from breakups, divorce, and the loss of a partner.

We cover:

  • Gladys’ Love Story
  • Breakups and divorces are in a lot of ways like the passing of a partner
  • Limiting Belief: I will never love again
  • Feeling guilty for moving on
  • The two steps you must do before moving on
  • Accepting new love in your life


Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What’s the deal with people who put someone else’s kids in their dating profile?
  • Is online dating a must if you’re 39 and divorced?

Body Language & Boundaries


There is a lot more to communication than just the words you say. Damona sits down with Kim Seltzer, certified style, confidence, and dating coach, who has helped thousands of people find lasting love and connection using her unique “confidence makeover” process returns this week to talk body language. Here’s the rundown:


The hidden secrets of Miranda Lambert’s new hot cop husband

Miranda’s new husband makes scandalous headlines this week when his ex-fiance’s mother makes a HUGE announcement. Damona and Kim break it down.

The new and extreme way couples are making sure all their needs are met

Couples are now writing and signing contracts that detail everything from sex goals to off-limits fighting strategies to non-negotiable personal quirks. Is this too much?

Is this the end of dating apps as we know it?

Dating app registrations have dropped 485% since last year? What does this mean? Damona explains.

Body Language & Boundaries

If 93% of communication is nonverbal, are you sending the right message? Damona and Kim are joined by Silvy Khoucasian, marriage and family therapist known for her work with attachment styles and cross cultural communication. We talked about A LOT:

  • Attachment Styles
  • Creating Boundaries
  • Boundaries are the lifeline for a thriving relationship
  • Only giving out information when it’s earned
  • Damona and Kim’s tips for the BEST first impression
  • How culture plays a part in relationship roles
  • How knowing your attachment style now can prepare you to meet your perfect match
  • And so much more!


Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should you keep dating someone if you don’t feel chemistry by the fourth date?
  • Should you just flat out ask someone out?



There are millions of people on dating apps worldwide. If you’re not finding love there, your profile may be the problem. Use Damona’s FREE guide to creating the ultimate MAGNETIC online dating profile. Get the Profile Starter Kit at

Dating Myths & The DM Deal


Did you know that women in the top 20% of attractiveness receive 5 times as many messages as women who are rated as “average attractiveness”? Today we welcomed Lindsey Pelas, social media influencer, model, activist, and entrepreneur to tell us the truth about your online image. Damona and Lindsey break down dating stereotypes and discuss how to be taken seriously on dating apps today no matter what your “Tinder ranking” is. Here’s the rundown:


Career or a sex life? Both?

You would think that the more you work, the less you have sex, right? Wrong. According to recent studies, people who work more actually have more sex. Damona and Lindsey discuss.

The $69 Billion Dollar Man

Just when you thought the Bezos’ divorce couldn’t get any wilder, it did. Damona and Lindsey break down the newest developments.

Hollywood’s Newest Engagement

Spotted: Katherine Schwarzenegger with a FABULOUS new engagement ring from Chris Pratt. But did Chris Pratt do enough to warn Anna Faris? Damona doesn’t think so.

Avoid these dating trends in 2017

Damona and Lindsey define Cookie Jarring, Pocketing, and Prowling.


In today’s increasingly visual online dating environment, it can be a struggle to create a profile that is going to attract the right kind of attention. Damona hears the same problem from a lot of women: How do we get taken seriously when we match based mostly on looks? The answer: It’s not easy, but not impossible.  

We invited Lindsey Pelas into the studio to help us break it down. In addition to her successful modeling and media career, Lindsey Pelas also has an IMPRESSIVE portfolio. She has a degree, she’s an activist, she is a Instagram business early adopter, public speaker, and entrepreneur. Damona and Lindsey talked about A LOT:

  • #WomeninBusiness and Investing
  • Is it really easier to date if you’re beautiful
  • What makes you more attractive? Is it different for men?
  • Confidence and Attractiveness
  • Pick Up Artist Theory
  • Why men are mean
  • How do slide in the DMs
  • Treating your partner well
  • Trash Talking your ex
  • Is it actually harder to date in LA?
  • And so much more!
Follow Lindsey on Instagram and Twitter and be sure to listen to her funny lifestyle podcast “Eyes Up Here with Lindsey Pelas.” Also look out for her upcoming restaurant, Sugar Taco.


Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should you focus on school or a relationship?
  • How to deal with a flaky Tinder match


BBC Released a video calling dating apps “pathalogical” and “narcissistic.” Damona responds. 


Ladies – If you feel exhausted, frustrated, and overwhelmed with dating today, it’s time for a change. You can go about dating the way you did in 2018 but let’s face it, doing the same thing will probably get you the same results. You need a plan. You need a plan to meet your man. It’s all inside The 30 Day Dating Playbook program which is available for you now at Get your copy today!  


Man School & The Guy Spy

What does #MeToo mean for your love life? 

Jonathan Aslay, The Guy Spy, returns to co-host this week’s episode of Dates and Mates. Jonathan is America’s leading Midlife dating and relationship coach and author of Unlocking the Male Mind, Finding Love Online and Why Men Pull Away. Damona and Jonathan interview Matthew Solomon, author of Man School: Relating to Women in the #MeToo Era, and breakdown how we can better relate to each other in today’s dating environment:


Kourtney Kardashian dates younger men. Why don’t you?

Spotted: Post-breakup Kourtney Kardashian out on not one, but TWO dates with men 20 years her junior. This month we’ve seen Kourtney rebounding from breakup with Younes Bendjima (26) with Grownish star Luka Sabbat (20) and a yet to be named Younes look alike. Do you date younger, too? 

What secrets is your sexual partner keeping from you?

HuffPost reports that Three in Four people with an STI haven’t told their sexual partners about it. Why are so many people keeping it a secret? We have some insight.

Is love making you fat?

According to Men’s Health, the average person gains 36 pounds in a relationship. 17 of those pounds are gained in the first year of the relationship. The reasons people gain this weight may surprise you!  

Man School (16:40)

Today we welcome Matthew Solomon, author and empowerment coach specializing in communication & relationships. Matthew has always had a passion for equality and understanding, which is evident in his work as an author, coach and filmmaker. Damona and Jonathan sit down with Matthew and take a closer look at Man School: Relating with Women in the #MeToo Era. They talk about:

  • How #MeToo changed the way we date
  • How to make a women feel comfortable when you approach her
  • Toxic Masculinity
  • The Friend zone
  • Porn
  • How to pick up chicks
  • Tantra
  • Chivalry

Whether you’re a man or a woman, this book is an excellent read and has a lot of great lessons on how we can better relate to each other in today’s dating environment.


Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to get your man to crave more sex with you
  • When is it time to have that “DTR” talk?

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Visit Jonathon’s Website or find him on Twitter and Facebook

You can also find Matthew on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or his Website

Damona Hoffman is on IG, Twitter, & Facebook @DamonaHoffman

Super Mamas & Relationship Standards

Super Mamas Podcast host Paulina Lopez and guest co-host psychotherapist Rhonda Richards-Smith join Damona to discuss how moms can still be sexy to their husbands. Rhonda takes on the headlines including: How dating apps have affected the rate of STDs, Aziz Ansari’s comedy in the #MeToo era, and how your relationship standards change once you’re couple up. Questions from listeners include: how to avoid strange requests on dating apps, should you see your ex again, and is it ok for your man to DM an instagram model?



Dating apps blamed for rise in STDs

STDs are on the rise, with five times as many cases seen in the past four months when compared with the same time period last year. Apps such as Tinder and Bumble are facing blame, with syphilis being the STD increasing the most rapidly. You can read more via NY Post here.

Aziz Ansari returns to standup with dating routine

Both Aziz Ansari and Louis C.K. returned to standup this week after being implicated in the #MeToo movement. Ansari avoided mention of the accusations against him, despite the fact the set was structured around dating. Is this tasteless? Can he make a comeback? You can read more via NME here.

How your relationship standards change

A new study proves that your relationship expectations change before and after you enter a relationship. It proved that those who took the survey while in a relationship ranked their current partner closer to their ideal than those who took the survey single and entered into a relationship a few months later. You can read more via Bustle here.


We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • How to avoid strange messages on dating apps
  • If it’s OK to see your ex again

And many more . . .

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Join the list to get invited to Damona’s private coaching calls at Register for your free dating or relationship e-course Relationship Bootcamp or The Texting 10 Commandments to subscribe.

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Check out the Super Mamas Podcast and follow Paulina on IG @iampaulinalopez

Bossip TV & The Tinder Trick

We TV’s Bossip TV hosts Danielle ‘Dani’ Canada & Alana Danielle Gatling hit the headlines with Damona including the Tinder social experiment that swept NYC, Bumble Bizz & Bumble BFF, and the engagement of Priyanka Chopra & Nick Jonas (which Dates & Mates predicted back in episode 220). Questions from listeners include how to Facebook sleuth on your man and how much makeup a woman should wear to a date.



Dozens of men tricked into a dating competition

Last week, a Tinder user named Natasha Aponte coordinated a massive meeting of those she matched with on Tinder in Union Square. Those men that stayed participated in a literal competition where the winner allegedly got to go on a date with her. Apparently done as a commentary on modern dating, do you think this went too far? You can read more via CBS News here.

You can now turn off dating mode on Bumble

Bumble Biz and Bumble BFF have been around for a minute now, but you can now elect to turn off the dating portion of the app entirely, making it clear you’re only there for professional or platonic connection. You can read more via PopSugar here.

Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra confirm engagement

We called it! Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra have officially announced their engagement, rumored to have sealed the deal sometime last month. You can read more via here.


We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • What to do if your fiance was messaging another woman
  • If you should wear makeup when meeting a guy for the first time

And many more . . .


We got Monique’s lightning fast love advice in another installment of Dating Dot Dot

  1. _________ is always sexy
  2. _________ is never sexy
  3. The biggest red flag on a dating profile is_________
  4. The most common first date mistake is _________
  5. The most important quality in a wife is_________
  6. The most important quality in a husband is _________

Try and get $10 off your first box with the code DatesandMates

Visit for your free dating or relationship e-course. Pick the one that fits your relationship status!

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Catch Bossip TV Thursdays on We TV at 10 p.m. ET.


Marriage Secrets & Out of Your League

On this episode, storyteller Shannon Cason (Homemade Stories & WBEZ Chicago’s The Trouble with Shannon Cason) joins with his wife Cindy to share the secrets that almost tore their marriage apart and how they’ve weathered the relationship storms. Plus, Relationship Scientist Ryeal Simms handles the headlines with Damona including how dating apps can score you a job, the impact of working from home on your relationship, and Iggy Azalea’s whiplash dating week. Questions from listeners include how long your engagement should last and how to get a guy who is out of your league.


Can dating apps help you land a job?

Many millennials are turning to dating apps to find a job these days, with it not being too uncommon for freelancers to get hired after two dates, or at least recommended. And honestly, why not! As long as you’re transparent that you’re looking for professional connections, it seems like an interesting way to boost your chances of finding work. You can read more via ABC News here.

Checking emails after work harms a relationship

We all have some anxiety, but even opening up an email to glance at after work can create the sense of “work without boundaries” and increase our stress tenfold. This can effect partners, children, and friends as they see the psychological effects of never “turning off.” You can read more via the Independent here.

Iggy Azalea’s whirlwind week

Last week Iggy Azalea confirmed she was dating Texans wide receive DeAndre Hopkins, only to Tweet out she was single again the next day. Both seemed a little affected, Azalea sharing Tweets about how she’ll always be single and Hopkins getting into a fight in his game the next day, but Azalea is already rumored to have been spotted with Tyga. You can read more via USA today here.


We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • The appropriate length of time to wait to get married
  • What to do if your child finds a sex toy in your room

And more . . .


Damona got a little serious on this week’s diatribe, but she’s been seeing a lot of people putting all of their emotional weight behind relationships lately, so much so that they saying they want to die when a relationship ends. She took to the mic to give some words of encouragement and offer resources for those who are truly depressed.

Follow Cindy Cason @JacindaCason

Follow Shannon Cason @ShannonCason and check out the podcasts Homemade Stories and The Trouble with Shannon Cason.

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Get on our mailing list and claim your free dating or relationship e-course at

Find more from Ryeal Simms at

If you or anyone you know is facing feelings of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

To get your question answered on a future show, download the Textpert App, email Damona or leave us a voicemail at 424-246-6255

Summer Date Ideas & FWB Feelings

We’re so excited to be back! On our return episode, International Matchmaker Jessica Fass joined Damona in studio along with Producer J to share great summer date ideas to heat things up in love while the weather is still warm. Headlines include: harsh criticism for The Bachelor and dating shows in the era of #MeToo, what your date’s texting habits mean, and Facebook’s new dating app. Plus questions from listeners like what do you do if you are catching feelings for a friend with benefits (FWB) and how you can get a $1000 loan back from someone you broke up with.



What can you tell about your date from their texting habits?

On average, millennials reach out to their date within two days after a date ends if they’re interested in pursuing things further. This checks out, as 89% of single women say they want to be contacted within that time frame. That age-old adage of the three-day rule has fallen by the wayside, with only six percent of single ladies still holding by it. You can read more via Elite Daily here.

Is it time to retire dating shows in the #MeToo era?

The Bachelor and Bachelorette have changed, with unceremonious dumping and accusations of contestants being sex offenders; that’s not even to mention the mess that is the recent show The Proposal. In the #MeToo era, are these examples of entertainment outdated? Perhaps the combination of alcohol, producer pressure, and exploitation should no longer be considered viable. You can read more via USA Today here.

Facebook has started internal testing of its dating app

Two months after announcing its launch, Facebook has begun testing its dating app among its employees. US Facebook employees currently have access to the beta, although the company has asked them to make fake profiles that will be deleted upon public launch. You can read more via The Verge here.


We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • How to handle a friends with benefits situation
  • How to deal with an ex who owes you a sizable sum of money

And more . . .


In this segment, we brainstorm as to who would best fit a celebrity looking for love. Up this week was Selena Gomez. Tune in to see who we think she should be looking out for!

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Leave us a voicemail with feedback or questions 424-246-6255

Game Dating & Hookup Culture

We had an extra jam-packed farewell show before we go on a one-month hiatus. Andrew Lee Miller of was first to join us, discussing the new dating app Crown. Then we got a chance to speak with Lea Rose Emery from Bustle, who shared her thoughts on dating, feminism, and hookup culture, in addition to answering listeners’ questions.



The differences between how men and women fall in love

A recent study looked at how men and women fall in love, and there were some surprising results. For example, men typically say “I love you first,” but women tend to say it more often. You can find out about all the rest of what the study found out via Bustle here.

Another new dating trend

We like to keep you up to speed here at Dates & Mates, and we’ve got another slice of dating lingo to add to your vocabulary: Gatsbying. Gatsbying occurs when you put on a show on social media, but with only one special someone in mind. You can read more about it via Elite Daily here.

What makes men more attractive to women

Recently, a huge study about what women find attractive in men was conducted. Among the most desirable traits were presenting yourself as high status, growing a light beard, and playing complex music. You can read more via Science Alert here.


We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • How to feel about your parents giving your boyfriend money
  • The best way to get busy at work

And many more . . .

We’ll see you in August! – 25% off with the promo code datesandmates– 40% off with the promo code datesandmates

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Single Moms & Summer Solstice

This week Damona got the chance to interview Rachel DeAlto, the relationship expert from the hit show Married at First Sight. She shared tips on flirting, dating after divorce, and more.



Chris Pratt is dating The Governator’s daughter

Chris Pratt was recently spotted picking up Katherine Schwarzenegger for a romantic picnic, snapping shots of them all the while. The oldest daughter of Arnold and Maria Shriver, Katherine is an author and lifestyle blogger. Pratt split from wife Anna Faris in 2017, but seems to be ready to give love another shot. You can read more via Insider here.

Another new dating term for the summer

You know we like to keep our readers up-to-speed on the hottest new lingo, and we’ve got another one to keep your ears out for: freckling. Describing when you get involved with someone over the long, lazy summer nights but cut them out when it’s time to bring out the jackets come fall, you can read more via Independent here.

ABC’s creepy new dating show

The internet is a-blazin’ over The Proposal, ABC’s new reality dating show. A strange mix between The Dating Game and The Bachelor, contestants compete in “challenges” to “win” a proposal from an eligible bachelor or bachelorette live on air. The catch? They don’t meet them until the very end . . . You can read more via The Outline here.


We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • The best way to go about long-distance love
  • If you can fall in love after a traumatic divorce

And many more . . .


It’s Mary J. Blige’s turn for the Hollywood Hookup, as her divorce was finalized just last week. With a seeming preference for those in showbiz, we think she needs someone respectful, established, and mature. Listen to find out who Damona and Producer Thomas picked.


Get free shipping and free gifts at using the offer code GIFT21 has a free ecourse for single and coupled Dates & Mates listeners

Dating While Disabled & Pride Month

Our guest co-host this week was Christy Goldstein. The author of the new book Dating While Disabled, Christy stopped by to share her tips for dating with a disability or mental illness.



Superstore and Survivor stars are dating

Superstore’s Nico Santos was recently confirmed to be dating Zeke Smith of Survivor! The cute couple posted a photo of them celebrating Pride just last week, and they’ve been photographed together at the GLAAD Awards and in Palm Springs earlier this year. You can read more via US Magazine.

Another roundup of dating terms

We like to keep you on the front-edge of new dating lingo, so we’ve got another collection of terms to report on, from “shaveducking” to “drafting” to “dationship.” You can read more via Mama Mia here.

The value of “sober dating”

Studies are in, and they confirm that nearly 37% of people drink before going on a date, with 50% enjoying two-to-three drinks while on the actual date itself. The long story short? This is a lot of booze, and you may be better off getting to know someone while in full control of your faculties. You can read more via Psychology Today here.

Women cheat to save their relationships

In a new study on women who cheat, it was determined that the vast majority do so in order to stay married, having certain needs met elsewhere while still acting as a wife and mother. You can read more via The Sun here.


We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • How to handle feeling stuck with a narcissist fiance
  • How to approach a timid person when wanting to take a friendship to the next level
  • How to feel when your significant other says they’ll watch porn if you don’t send them nudes

And many more . . .


In honor of Pride Month, we thought we’d use the Romance Rollback to explore the history of Pride and LGBTQIA rights in America.

Find more advice from Christy Goldstein at

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