Have you ever logged on to Instagram and it seems like everyone and their mom is getting engaged? Is Instagram-related relationship FOMO impacting your dating life?
On this week’s episode of Dates & Mates, I talk with Hannah Orenstein, Senior Dating Editor at Elite Daily and author of the new novel, Playing With Matches.
DATING DISH (1:58)
What is sexy-poor?
Do poor men actually have an advantage in dating? D’Marge thinks so.
What you can learn from polyamory?
A recent study on polyamorous couples reveals interesting insights for sexuality. Damona and Hannah break it down.
Everything that is wrong with your dating profile
Damona’s dating profile tips were featured in Shondaland! Damona and Hannah discuss.
Are #relationshipgoals ruining dating? (14:00)
How social comparison affects your relationships
Hannah writes a lot about how the pressures of social media impact dating today. Are you really living your best life if it’s not on Instagram?
Yes you can! Hannah and I had a great discussion about social comparison and how it affects dating today.
We go in-depth on:
What to do if you and your partner have different social media habits
What modern fairytales look like
What is “sexy-poor” and why should it matter?
What to do if your date never asks you questions about yourself?
TECHNICALLY DATING (26:00)
Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:
What should you do if your date doesn’t ask you questions about yourself?
If the don’t bother to fill out a bio, swipe left?
Should you wait for someone who’s working on the 12 step program?
Damona is featured here in Shondaland for a profile makeover piece, in which she discloses how the 3 C’s can spark more engagement with your dating profile. Here’s a sneak peek:
“THE DATER: Colleen, 25, a wholesale manager for a beauty brand based in the South
For five-plus years, Colleen has had an on-again, off-again relationship with the standard trio of dating apps: Hinge, Bumble, Tinder. So far, she says most of her matches have felt like “a waste of time.” Her inbox is stacked with “Hey” after “Hey” from bland guys with whom she has zero chemistry, and who rarely engage her in conversations about her own interests. Among her lengthy list of duds is the Atlanta Falcons player who commented on her photo with a tired pick-up line (that, at least, resulted in an entertaining screenshot for her friends) and the creepy guy who claimed to coincidentally “run into her” one night while she was out with friends and proceeded to follow her around for the evening.
Hoffman jokes that she’s been coaching online daters “since they used to do profiles on stone tablets.” In addition to one on one coaching, Hoffman frequently does public speaking engagements on the subject, offers an online course, and hosts a weekly podcast calledDates & Mates. She thinks of dating profiles as a form of storytelling, and helps clients craft “narratives” designed to engage exactly the people they’re hoping to meet, as opposed to profiles that could appeal to anyone. “You could get a lot of messages, but if they’re a lot of the wrong messages, or you’re not going on dates with the right kind of people, then it feels exhausting, frustrating and overwhelming,” Hoffman says.
We asked Hoffman to review Colleen’s profile and come up with actionable tips that will help this “meh” dater find an authentic connection.”
https://damonahoffman.com/wp-content/uploads/3c.png9001200Leah Schell/wp-content/uploads/damona-hoffman-logo-209-1-1.pngLeah Schell2019-09-06 01:20:142022-04-15 21:01:19Shondaland: Tired of an inbox full of “hey”?
As a dating coach of 15 years, Damona’s made it her mission to show you how to date for a long-term commitment. But this week we got to thinking – what can daters learn from people who aren’t looking for “a last first kiss”?
Enter Clint Coley, comedian behind the podcast, “Advice From A Fuckboy.” (shocking, I know.)
DATING DISH (2:30)
Have you been dogfished?
Have you ever swiped right on someone because they had a cute god in their pictures? You have been dogfished! Damona and Clint break it down.
Jamie Foxx teaches us all about relationship rebounds
Can men and women really have platonic relationships?
The Atlantic covers a new study that suggests that men and women may not be able to have platonic relationships. Clint has strong opinions about this one.
Advice from a F***Boy
Dating advice from a man with no relationship goals
Damona and Clint have some VERY different opinions about dating but it makes for great conversation.
They talk:
Hot Take: The only dating app that’s not a hookup app is Bumble
What is a “nice guy”?
Do nice guys finish last?
What does it mean to be a good woman?
What do YOU bring to the table in dating?
I’m a good woman, but I’m still single. Why?
Make sure to check out Clint’s Podcast, Advice from A Fuckboy!
TECHNICALLY DATING
Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:
How to handle being ghosted by someone you were really vibing with
https://damonahoffman.com/wp-content/uploads/272-blog.png200300Leah Schell/wp-content/uploads/damona-hoffman-logo-209-1-1.pngLeah Schell2019-08-26 21:45:202021-05-14 22:23:58Nice Guys & F Boys
WOULD DATING BE EASIER IF WE WERE MORE BODY CONFIDENT?
Is it time you got your mojo back?
We get REAL on Dates & Mates this week. Damona says, “Some days I don’t feel great about my body. Maybe you can relate? But I figured that if I opened up and faced my true feelings about my body image, it might help you and I become more body positive together.”
We sat down with Dana B Meyers, the Queen of Mojo Makeovers, and Laurie DiBiasio, CEO of Babe You Lingerie, to talk about body confidence and self love.
This episode is all about:
Finding body confidence at every life stage or size
Building sensuality with another person
Spicing up your Love Life (don’t worry, it doesn’t get graphic and uncomfortable)
Here’s the rundown:
Damona’s Story (1:30)
Body Positivity is hard at any age
Your partner wants you to love your body as much as they do (7:30)
Stop deflecting compliments! (8:30)
Dana’s method to transforming NEGATIVE BODY BANTER into a SEXY SELF LOVE AFFIRMATION (9:45)
“If I just lost 10 pounds, I will find love” (16:00)
Building sensuality with another person (19:00)
Especially if you’ve been out of the game for a while or if you and your partner need to spice it up
Choose Babe You! With Laurie DiBiasio (33:00)
Why Lingerie should be visible (34:00)
The hourglass shape has historically been the most desirable shape (36:00)
Do things change when you see someone in a more intimate situation for the first time? (38:00)
We like feeling beautiful – not just for other people! (43:00)
DATES & MATES DEALS: #GETPAID
Get PAID to listen to podcasts through PODCOIN! Get 300 podcoin now by using the code DatesAndMates
Right now, women have all the power online – at least that’s how EZ Dating Coach, Mike Goldstein sees it.
Here’s the rundown:
DATING DISH (2:30)
How to tell if you’re dating a cheater
According to Dr. Lurve (LOL), cheaters have 3 very specific personality traits. Damona and Mike break it down.\
What The Weeknd’s breakup with Bella Hadid tell us about love today
Is modern love dead? Damona and Mike have thoughts.
The latest dating trend among Ivy League students
The newest study on love amongst these Ivy League undergrads is raising some eyebrows – mainly Damona’s and Mike’s.
YOU have all the power (19:00)
Is dating a quantity over quality game?
Mike Goldstein, tells us that the tides have turned and explains why women are in control in today’s online dating climate.
As dating coaches, we often see two typical behavior patterns in our clients:
1) Men go for quantity. They don’t do much research upfront about their matches and wait later on in the process to weed out potential partners.
2) Women look for quality. We like to make sure that each match is going to be worth our time.
Mike and I had a GREAT debate on his special formula to get women in a masculine dating mindset. This episode might actually BLOW YOUR MIND.
We talk:
How men fall in love
Mike’s special formula to get women dating in a masculine mindset
How women control the pace of a relationship
Don’t discard the guys who fall in love too fast, keep them around
And so much more!
Find Mike at EZdatingcoach.com and on YouTube! Make sure to get his FREE GIFT – A guide on how to text men during the day here!
TECHNICALLY DATING (40:16)
Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:
How can you find love if you’ve never had ANY contact with the opposite sex?
Is it impossible to find love over 50?
Is it too soon to date after a breakup?
DATES & MATES DEALS: #GETPAID
Get PAID to listen to podcasts through PODCOIN! Get 300 podcoin now by using the code DatesAndMates
https://damonahoffman.com/wp-content/uploads/Copy-of-270-IG.png200300Leah Schell/wp-content/uploads/damona-hoffman-logo-209-1-1.pngLeah Schell2019-08-13 07:25:302021-05-14 22:23:58EZ Dating & How Men Fall In Love
9 Experts Share Their Very Best Piece of Online Dating Advice
Online dating is so ingrained in our cultural dating roadmap that it isn’t so much a question of whether you want to start online dating as when you’re going to give it a try. Maybe you’re just dipping your toe in the waters, maybe you’re back on apps after a breakup, or maybe you’ve been doing it forever and suspect you could be having a better time of it.
If you aren’t sure where to begin, what “rules” you’re supposed to follow, or are looking to get more matches, check out these nine experts’ number-one piece of advice for online dating. We could use all the help we can get, right?
Put yourself into a dating mindset
“When building your profile and looking for potential dates, your mindset should follow what you’d like the outcome to be. Whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship, a hookup, or something in between, let your mind consider the result you wish to achieve so that your profile vocabulary and tone match.” —Sunny Rodgers, ACS, clinical sexologist and certified sexual health educator
Don’t be timid
“Be entirely yourself rather than projecting a more muted version of yourself. The more that you show your personality, the more the other person gets an idea of what a relationship with you would be like. You might as well jump in immediately!” —Gabrielle Alexa, sex and dating writer
Be and put yourself first
“We all want a flattering photo that peaks the maximum number of people’s interest. Go ahead and choose that picture, but recognize that it’s a slippery slope. There is a temptation to create or communicate a [version of] you that, like an Instagram post, will garner the most likes. Do not contort yourself to fit what you presume others desire. In your mind, put your wants first. Use Tinder to communicate what you actually desire, so you can find someone you truly like.” —Wednesday Martin, Ph.D., author of “Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free”
Stop looking for your perfect match
“We know it sounds counterintuitive, but you read this right. Online dating makes it easy to filter people based on what’s worked for you before (or what hasn’t) and create an impossible mold of what you think is your perfect match. The problem is that eventually your matches all either seem to blend together and you lost interest, or you run out of options. Keep an open mind, and try [Liking] someone who isn’t your usual type. You might find that your ‘type’ isn’t as important as you thought.” —B+L, co-hosts of “Not Your Girlfriend’s Podcast”
https://damonahoffman.com/wp-content/uploads/swipelife-blog.png200300Leah Schell/wp-content/uploads/damona-hoffman-logo-209-1-1.pngLeah Schell2019-07-17 02:33:592021-05-14 22:23:58Take Charge in Dating: Read my advice on the Tinder Blog!
Today on my third episode in the Summer Love Series, we are making fireworks in honor of 4th of July.
Gina Gutierrez, CEO of Dipsea, an app providing sexy audio storytelling for women by women, joins me to talk about passion and building chemistry!
Buckle up, folks! This is our steamiest episode yet!
D’S DATING DISH
Studies show your partner may not be as smart as you think
According to the latest research, it turns out we consistently overestimate our loved one’s IQs and our own. OUCH.
Chelsea Handler has had a change of heart!
Chelsea Handler recently decided that it isn’t weak to want a relationship. Why this sudden change of heart? Damona and Producer Leah have thoughts.
Signs your date doesn’t want to see you again
In case you have some trouble reading the signs, Damona breaks it down.
How To Build Chemistry
A guide to learning what turns you on!
As an entrepreneur focused on the need for content tailored to women’s specific needs, Gina finds a lot of women need help to figure out what turns them on.
“Inspiration is a really important paradigm or experience,” Gina says. If you need some extra inspiration to get you feeling in the mood, approachable, accessible, sexy content is Gina’s solution to building great chemistry with your special someone.
On today’s episode, we also talk:
Finding your sexuality at your own pace
What to do if your “on ramp” is different from your partner’s
Why erotica and porn don’t always meet women’s needs
How we are stimulated by audio content
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, Gina gives some GREAT tips on how to spice up the chemistry this holiday week!
TECHNICALLY DATING
Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:
How to move offline into a date IRL
Should you worry about your boyfriend’s drinking habits?
What is the acceptable amount of time to wait before you text someone?
Have you ever heard the phrase, “You have to love yourself before you can love someone else”?
If you remember a few episodes ago titled “Marriage Boot Camp & Bad Advice,” Dr. V’s opinion was that you can’t love yourself in the same way that your partner would love you. Which is true.
BUT it got us thinking: there is some value in being able to understand yourself and take care of yourself in order to be more prepared for a healthier relationship. We dedicated this episode to understanding self love as it relates to dating with Jonathon Aslay. Here’s the rundown:
CNN reports that South Korea is teaching university students how to date through a “Gender and Culture” class. Is this the most effective way to teach dating? Damona breaks it down.
Match announces a new service, a one-on-one phone call with an expert dating coach
Match is personalizing the world of online dating! What does this mean for you?
GO LOVE YOURSELF
Jonathon is America’s leading Midlife relationships expert and he has just published a fantastic guide to self love as it relates to dating called, “What the Heck is Self Love Anyway?”
“Self love is an antidote to potential chaos,” Jonathon explains.
Chaos in your life is going to come in a variety of forms – whether it’s a relationship transition, job stress, family stress, etc.
“You have to learn to take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else,” Jonathon explains. A good self love and personal development practice will help you be ready for your next relationship.
In this episode, Jonathon explains:
How to allow yourself to feel your feelings
How to begin a daily personal development practice
How to “Shift away from the mundane and fill your own cup with love.”
Get Jonathon’s book today!
TECHNICALLY DATING
Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:
How to be vulnerable again in a relationship?
Why not talk about politics, religion, and money on a first date?
How do you get motivated to date again?
GETTING GLAMMED UP FOR A DATE?
Have a hot date this weekend or another event that you want to glam it up for? Let Glamsquad help you out with Damona’s code! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 off your first service with my special code Damona20.
https://damonahoffman.com/wp-content/uploads/258-Blog.png200300Leah Schell/wp-content/uploads/damona-hoffman-logo-209-1-1.pngLeah Schell2019-05-20 21:28:132021-05-14 22:23:58Self Love & Vulnerability
This week on Dates & Mates, we go deeper into communicating what you need in a partner during tough transitions in your life. Many of us have been in a situation where there’s something you want to communicate but it’s a scary conversation. We dedicated this to making these scary conversations a little less daunting with married dating and relationship coaches Laurie Davis Edwards and Thomas Edwards. Here’s the rundown:
D’S DATING DISH (3:11)
Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx’s red carpet relationship debut (Finally!!)
The two have been rumored to be dating since 2013. Why did they wait until now to debut their relationship publically? Laurie, Thomas, and Damona have thoughts.
What do you do if you see a co-worker on a dating app?
Business Insider explains what to do if you find a co-worker on a dating app. Damona breaks it down.
Do you believe in soulmates?
According to a 2013 poll by Marist college, 73% of Americans believe soul mates exist. Are you one of them? Interestingly enough, Laurie and Thomas have conflicting viewpoints on this.
TOUGH TRANSITIONS (14:00)
Have you ever had to have a tough conversation with a partner, but didn’t know how? Enter Thomas Edwards and Laurie Davis Edwards, who have recently had this same problem. Last year, they underwent a tough transition in their marriage. You may know them individually as successful dating, relationship, and lifestyle coaches.
Thomas helps professional men find the life they are meant to live in four key areas – Love, Lifestyle, Leadership and Legacy. His wife, Laurie Davis Edwards is the founder of The Worthy One, a coaching company that empowers women to fall in love with themselves and their soulmate.
Right after the birth of their daughter, Thomas and Laurie experienced intense personal transitions. From experience, I can tell you that a newborn baby is a HUGE transition. On top of this, Thomas and Laurie were already going through personal and professional transitions that put strains on their relationship.
“I was going through an identity crisis,” he explains. “I suffered a lot of trauma from the realization that I’m going to be a father. What I experienced was actually grief around the death of my identity.”
At the same time, Laurie was dealing with trauma of her own. “My transition was more about being the one who has to hold it all together,” she says. As she dealt with the pressures of being a new mom, she also tried to keep her relationship from falling apart.
Laurie opens up about reaching a breaking point and gathering up the courage to be honest with Thomas about how their relationship wasn’t working.
They open up about things like:
Meeting through Twitter
Long Distance Relationships
Moving across country together
How a baby changes your relationship
Where did problems arrive
How to have tough conversations with your partner
And so much more!
Be prepared because this conversation gets DEEP!
TECHNICALLY DATING (44:15)
Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:
how to be confident while dating outside your race
How relevant do you think astrology is to compatibility?
What do modern women want?
GETTING GLAMMED UP FOR A DATE?
Have a hot date this weekend or another event that you want to glam it up for? Let Glamsquad help you out with Damona’s code! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 off your first service with my special code Damona20.
We talk a lot about how much dating has changed since Damona began her career as a dating coach. Who remembers when online dating was brand new?
Even we couldn’t have predicted the changes that the dating technology ecosystem has seen even in the last year. We want you to be as prepared as possible for upcoming trends so you can stay ahead of the dating game.
This week, Damona talks about the future of modern love with the people who make decisions in the dating app landscape. This short format episode features an in-depth interview with Geoff Cook, CEO and co-founder of The Meet Group, and Evin Rose, Millennial Love Life & Dating Coach, on dating app trends to look out for. Here’s the rundown:
D’S DATING DISH (0:58)
Your Next Dating App: Instagram
Honey Australia reports that singles who use the hashtags #strongandsingle and #happilysingle might get a few extra DMs from potential dates. Should you mix Instagram and dating? Damona and Evin Rose have thoughts.
YOUR DATING FUTURE (5:58)
If you aren’t familiar with the Meet Group, they are responsible for a lot of cutting edge dating apps that are popular worldwide, like MeetMe, Lovoo, Skout, and so many others. As an expert entrepreneur, business strategist, Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award Winner for the Philadelphia Region, Geoff Cook is the man to give us the facts on the business and trends involved with the dating app tech landscape.
Lately, we have noticed that there is a trend to mix dating with other aspects of your online persona. Listeners often ask: Should you integrate your social media into your dating profile?
For Evin Rose this seems like a no brainer. “When we get someone’s last name, we immediately go look them up anyway on social media to try and get a sense of who they are,” she says. “I think there really is something to finding other ways to connect with people virtually.”
It does seem like a complete no brainer. But why are some having such a hard time blurring these lines?
Geoff has a really good explanation. “People like to express different aspects of their identities via the brands they use.” he says. You might share your workplace version of yourself on Linkedin, and your family friendly version of yourself on Facebook, but your dating persona – the most extroverted and fun version of yourself- is reserved for your dating apps usually.
“That’s partially why it’s strange to be hit up on Facebook or a network where most of your interactions are not for that,” he says. “I think it’s tough to walk that privacy line.”
There is absolutely something to be said for protecting your social media from your dating life. HOWEVER, if we just shut down these new possibilities entirely, we might miss a good opportunity to find love.
So maybe next time someone slides into those DMs, see where it goes and let us know!
We talk about sooo much more on this episode about future trends in dating including:
Is live streaming the key to finding your next match?
Integrating human connection back into online dating
Is this match a real human?: Sorting through multiple realities on dating apps
Podcasts: The new predictors for compatibility?
And so much more!
ARE YOU MISSING ALL THE GOOD MATCHES ONLINE?
There are millions of people on dating apps worldwide. If you’re not finding love there, your profile may be the problem. Use Damona’s FREE guide to creating the ultimate MAGNETIC online dating profile. Get the Profile Starter Kit at profilestarterkit.com
https://damonahoffman.com/wp-content/uploads/255-Blog.png200300Leah Schell/wp-content/uploads/damona-hoffman-logo-209-1-1.pngLeah Schell2019-04-22 04:05:202021-05-14 22:23:58Meet Cute & Instagram for Dating
This week, Damona sits down with legendary matchmaker and dating coach, Julie Ferman to explain how to apply marketing principles to find the love of your life. Here’s the rundown:
A new article from AskMen details exactly what it’s like to date a social media addict. Damona and Julie discuss.
Should you live together before marriage?
A new study explores if living together before marriage is good for your relationship. Damona and Julie have thoughts.
ROMANCE MARKETING
Romance Marketing? Those are two words you probably didn’t think go together. Romance Marketing – or marketing yourself to find the love of your life – is something that is at the very center of Damona’s coaching practice. As many of you may know, Damona’s dating advice draws from her experience in marketing as a TV Executive at NBC. She noticed that a lot of personal marketing principles apply to dating and thus began her career as a dating coach.
Romance Marketing is also at the center of Julie’s business! Julie has A LOT of knowledge to offer lovers looking for their forever match. We talked about A LOT:
What is romance marketing?
Romance marketing first steps
Marketing yourself, your product
Intro to matchmaking
And so much more!
Become the Don Draper of your love life today!
TECHNICALLY DATING
Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:
How quickly can you tell if it’s love?
Should you ask a girl out over text?
If you made a “If we’re still single at 40” pact with someone, should you take them up on it?
HATE GYMS?
Damona always says that working out has greatly improved her relationship with her body. Begin a program with BeachBody on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.
https://damonahoffman.com/wp-content/uploads/Copy-of-252-Twitter.png200300Leah Schell/wp-content/uploads/damona-hoffman-logo-209-1-1.pngLeah Schell2019-04-01 06:30:272021-05-14 22:23:58Wendy Williams Woes & Romance Marketing Plan
As a dating coach for 13 years, Damona has seen shifts in dating trends and watched as women become more empowered in their dating lives. How do these things impact women’s dating destiny? Internationally renowned matchmaker and TV personality Carmelia Ray returns to co-host this episode with lots of insight on how women and men relate to each other in 2019. Here’s the rundown:
D’S DATING DISH (2:45)
The surprising reason ARod’s relationship with JLO is a lot of pressure
HUGE Congrats to JLO and AROD who announced this month that they are engaged! Shortly after the engagement, ARod revealed why a relationship with JLo is a lot of pressure for him. Damona and Carmelia break it down.
New Trend Alert: Honeymoon Edition
This just in! Ditch your new spouse and go on the honeymoon of your dreams BY YOURSELF! Damona and Carmelia are not here for this new trend and they explain why.
Meet Your New Matchmaker: Your Fridge
Predicted right here on Dates & Mates! Refridgerdating has just launched allowing you to see into your match’s fridge before you decide to make a move. Damona and Carmelia have thoughts.
NOW IS THE BEST TIME IN HISTORY FOR WOMEN TO DATE (11:30)
In honor of Women’s History Month, Damona sits down with Robert Kandell, interpersonal communication expert who helps women and men relate to each other better in the #MeToo Era. We talked about A LOT:
Shifts in acceptable dating behavior for women & men
Dating Patterns
Dating in big cities vs dating elsewhere
Do women need men anymore?
FOMO and Investing in relationships
Women have a higher earning potential and don’t have to settle!
“Men are acting more like boys, and women are acting more like men.” – Robert Kandell
Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:
Why are women choosing to stay single for longer?
What is the best way to date if you have decided to ditch dating apps?
HATE GYMS?
Damona always says that working out has greatly improved her relationship with her body. Begin a program with Beach Body on demand! Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.
https://damonahoffman.com/wp-content/uploads/251-Blog.png200300Leah Schell/wp-content/uploads/damona-hoffman-logo-209-1-1.pngLeah Schell2019-03-25 21:28:412021-05-14 22:23:58Women’s History Month & Refridgerdating
