You might be surprised to learn that Damona does NOT believe in soulmates. In fact, neither does Mr. Hoffman. They believe that there are many possible matches out there for you, but you choose to make someone your soulmate every day. You choose to keep learning and growing into your relationship.

As we continue our F The Fairy Tale Summer Series, this week’s Dates & Mates minisode will focus on the Soulmate Myth.You’ll hear an excerpt from the book, get answers to a listener question, dive into some dating dish-esque stats, and receive the best relationship advice you’ll hear all week. 

The Soulmate Myth (1:40) 

What’s the soulmate myth? It’s the idea that there’s one perfect person out there for you, and finding them will make you happy forever. If there were a soulmate finder app, it would make millions! 

But here’s the thing—it’s just a myth. Chasing the idea of one perfect match prevents you from committing to a fulfilling relationship and sticking with someone when times get tough.

(2:14) Straight from F the Fairy Tale

Damona shares an excerpt from her book, F the Fairy Tale, on the myth of soulmates: “Pursuing that ideal keeps you constantly in a scarcity mindset.”.

She explains that believing there’s only one perfect match limits your choices and can make you question a great relationship. Instead she urges daters to embrace a growth mindset which will allow them to overcome issues and build strong relationships.

(7:03) It Takes a Mindset Shift 

Damona shares some surprising data about the soulmate myth. Former NASA engineer Randall Munroe found that the probability of meeting your perfect soulmate is once in 10,000 lifetimes. 

“So, if the odds aren’t in our favor, it’s imperative that singles shift from the soulmate myth mindset.” Instead, focus on long-term compatibility. 

Based on years of coaching, Damona emphasizes that common goals and shared values are the true markers of a successful relationship.

Listener Questions

Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

(4:24) I feel like my ex was my soulmate. I’ve been dating on the app since we broke up, and I’m starting to worry that I’ll never feel that way again.

(8:28 ) Do soulmates exist? I used to believe in Twin Flames, but now, 20 years in with a family, mine is no longer interested in me and I’m trying to separate.