What if chemistry is just a myth? Damona is here to challenge everything you thought you knew about those initial sparks.

In this solo minisode, we dive into The Chemistry Myth. We start with an excerpt from Damona’s book, F the Fairy Tale, and follow up with top tips and takeaways on understanding chemistry in relationships. 

Plus she answers this sizzling Dear Damona question: “How fast is too fast to have sex with a new person?” 

So, grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and join us for an episode filled with insights and revelations.

The Chemistry Myth (0:58) 

The Chemistry Myth is the belief that you need to feel immediate, romantic sparks for a long-term relationship to develop. 

True relationship success starts with slow love. When we try to shortcut the road to a relationship by steering around red flags, we miss the true markers of relationship success and then we second guess our dating and relationship choices. 

(1:33)  When are the Flutters Not Butterflies?

The Chemistry Myth touches a lot of lives! RomComs and romance novels spread the myth of chasing butterflies! But what if you don’t really understand what they mean? 

Damona shares an excerpt from the book about how the Chemistry Myth has affected her own dating life.

(3:51) Butterflies May Be a Window to the Past

You may think that the “chemistry” you feel points to the future, but it often reflects our past. 

True connection and compatibility develop over time, which is why Damona advocates for slow love in her book F the Fairy Tale, and pretty much everywhere!

By ditching the List Myth and the Rules Myth, you can truly see who someone is and how they align with your deeper goals and values. 

Dear Damona (6:02)

Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Question from Miss. M:

Dear Damona, if slow love’s the only way to go, which for me, I definitely don’t want first, second, or even third date sex, then what’s considered too fast or too slow? I’m happy to report I’m dating a guy who has aligned values, is a good open communicator, and makes me feel amazing and heard. Here’s our timeline. Met for a 1.5-hour coffee a week after app chatting. After the second-date dinner, he asked for consent to kiss me good night. Third date dinner, kissed a little more good night in the car.

Fourth date hung out at his place, and he politely asked how far I would like to go making out, we kept it PG. Date number five: dinner again, invited him to my place, and had sex. I realized this morning it’s only been three weeks since we matched, both feeling excited about each other and have date six planned for tomorrow. Do you think sex within three weeks is considered slow love?