Tag Archive for: tinder

Done with Dating & The Cheerleader Effect

BE THE HOST WITH THE MOST

Okay so we talked about breakups last week, what do you do when you are ready to take on dating?

Party!

Samantha Burns, AKA the millennial love expert, tells us her exact steps to ditching dating forever in her new book: Done with Dating: 7 Steps to Finding Your Person

DATING DISH (2:00)

Is it weird that Kayley Cuoco isn’t living with her new husband?

You may remember that in her last divorce – asked for a HUGE alimony. Maybe she’s still healing from that and needs to take it slow? We have thoughts. 

Find your soulmate before the end of the world! 

Tinder’s new content-forward programming will find help you love while you play a “choose your own adventure” game on their platform. Damona breaks it down. 

Did you know there are apps to fix your relationships?

There are dating apps and now there are relationship apps backed by the Gottman researchers. Are these worth it? Damona breaks it down. 

DATING IS A PARTY (14:00)

Be the host with the most

Samantha’s new book Done with Dating: 7 Steps to Finding Your Person is a great follow up to her first book Breaking Up and Bouncing Back: Moving On to Create the Love Life You Deserve. She gives us her seven steps to get back on the horse and find your person. 

We go in-depth on:

  • Do you want to take charge with your dating life? Or would you rather be pursued?
  • Tips, Tool, and Tricks to switch into a more empowered mindset in dating
  • What “stinkin’ thinkin'” is coming into your mind?
  • Love happens when you intentionally create a thriving fun dating experience.
  • Ways to shift your luck in love
  • If you wait for love to find you, will it?
  • Are you waiting for someone to make you happy?
  • Go out in groups AKA The Cheerleader Effect
  • Be The Hostess With The Mostest
  • Be casually confident but not aggressive
  • Dating & Attachment Styles

TECHNICALLY DATING (35:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should you tell your friend if her boyfriend is raising some red flags for you?
  • What should you do if you don’t want to be with someone but don’t want them to date anyone else?

 

DO YOU HAVE A DATING HORROR STORY?

Don’t forget to send us your Halloween Dating Horror Story! You can submit any of these ways:
  • DM Damona a voice memo on Social Media (@DamonaHoffman)
  • Send Damona an email (damona@damonahoffman.com)
  • Leave us a message! (424-246-6255)

Take Charge in Dating: Read my advice on the Tinder Blog!

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9 Experts Share Their Very Best Piece of Online Dating Advice

 

Online dating is so ingrained in our cultural dating roadmap that it isn’t so much a question of whether you want to start online dating as when you’re going to give it a try. Maybe you’re just dipping your toe in the waters, maybe you’re back on apps after a breakup, or maybe you’ve been doing it forever and suspect you could be having a better time of it. 

If you aren’t sure where to begin, what “rules” you’re supposed to follow, or are looking to get more matches, check out these nine experts’ number-one piece of advice for online dating. We could use all the help we can get, right?

Put yourself into a dating mindset

“When building your profile and looking for potential dates, your mindset should follow what you’d like the outcome to be. Whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship, a hookup, or something in between, let your mind consider the result you wish to achieve so that your profile vocabulary and tone match.” —Sunny Rodgers, ACS, clinical sexologist and certified sexual health educator

Don’t be timid

“Be entirely yourself rather than projecting a more muted version of yourself. The more that you show your personality, the more the other person gets an idea of what a relationship with you would be like. You might as well jump in immediately!” —Gabrielle Alexa, sex and dating writer

Be and put yourself first

“We all want a flattering photo that peaks the maximum number of people’s interest. Go ahead and choose that picture, but recognize that it’s a slippery slope. There is a temptation to create or communicate a [version of] you that, like an Instagram post, will garner the most likes. Do not contort yourself to fit what you presume others desire. In your mind, put your wants first. Use Tinder to communicate what you actually desire, so you can find someone you truly like.” —Wednesday Martin, Ph.D., author of “Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free”

Stop looking for your perfect match

“We know it sounds counterintuitive, but you read this right. Online dating makes it easy to filter people based on what’s worked for you before (or what hasn’t) and create an impossible mold of what you think is your perfect match. The problem is that eventually your matches all either seem to blend together and you lost interest, or you run out of options. Keep an open mind, and try [Liking] someone who isn’t your usual type. You might find that your ‘type’ isn’t as important as you thought.” —B+L, co-hosts of “Not Your Girlfriend’s Podcast”

Click here to read my advice!

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How To Flirt & Improv Games

DIDYA KNOW YOU CAN LEARN TO FLIRT?

Today, on my second episode in the Summer Love Series, I share 5 fun exercises that can improve your flirting game instantly.

If you followed my first TV series, #BlackLove, you might remember that I used improv techniques to teach the women how to flirt. Here’s a peek:

Flirting Coaching with Damona from Damona on Vimeo.

The show just showed the highlights, but on Dates & Mates today, you get the full experience of what a flirting coaching session with me is like.

For today’s demo I’m joined by two experienced improvisers Marquis Olison & Nicky Urban (whose improv group was just on America’s Got Talent last week.) With me, they demonstrate how improv can make flirting fun. I know it sounds CRAZY but I promise if you listen and try out some of the exercises, you flirt game will never be the same.

Here’s the rundown:

Why improv? (2:30)

How men can impress women in today’s world (5:30)

Yes, And (9:00)

What you can learn from Yes, And & How to replicate (12:00)

How to build energy on a date (13:30)

Accepting someone’s reality (17:00)

Mirroring & How to tell if someone is intelligent (18:30)

Embrace The Weird (23:00)

 

Missing this week’s headlines?  

Damona’s got you! Watch for Damona’s IGTV today for this week’s headlines on: All of the Hollywood Heartbreak this week (spoiler alert: lots of Hollywood exes made headlines), learning your dating app score, and how to stand out on dates in big cities. 

 

Bedroom Confidence & Pleasure Positivity

WE’RE BRINGING SEXY BACK

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It’s been a tense couple of weeks for America, so we’re bringing sexy back with sex and relationship coach, Caitlin V. Caitlin joines us the week to get real about bedroom confidence, good sex, and being pleasure positive. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (2:39)

Dating advice from JLO

According to JLO, men are useless until they’re 33. According to Dr. Jane Greer, men like to be established before they settle down and they take time to mature in their 20s. So JLO might be right but Damona has thoughts.

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What dating app is most popular in your area?

New data from SimpleTexting shows that the most popular dating app varies state by state. It was no surprise that Match is most popular across the board and Tinder is second most popular. However there were some surprises! Texas, we see you.

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How parents can improve their relationships

The secret to a new happy family: paternity leave. Studies show that long periods of paternity directly correlate with mothers’ reports of relationship satisfaction and lower relationship conflict. Have you had this experience? Tweet Damona and let her know.

BEDROOM CONFIDENCE & PLEASURE POSITIVITY (15:34)

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 This week we took a cue from Samantha, the OG pleasure positive Guru, and sat down with Caitlin V – a sex and relationship coach who helps men become amazing lovers and incredible partners. Caitlin is a former sexual health researcher and policy analyst, turned overnight YouTube sensation. She works with clients all over the world on developing unshakable confidence, sex skills, and intimacy. Combining personal experience with evidence-based science in her coaching, Caitlin’s mission is to create a pleasure-positive world. We talked about A LOT:

  • What does Pleasure Positive mean?
  • How is Pleasure positive difference from sex positive
  • The Sixth Sense
  • What is good sex?
  • How to spice up your sex life
  • Allowing yourself to be sexual
  • How the overuse of Porn is affecting men & women in the bedroom
  • Premature Ejaculations & Performance Anxiety
  • Practice how you play
  • What is a sex coach and who should work with one?

Visit Caitlin’s YouTube or follow her on Instagram for more helpful content on bedroom confidence.

TECHNICALLY DATING (36:02)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What does casually dating mean on Tinder?
  • What to do when your boyfriend sends you mixed signals.. in bed.
  • Should you warn your dates if you weigh more than the pictures they see in your profile?

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (46:45)

You want a guy who looks like he can chop wood? But do you actually need any wood chopped? Damona closes the show with a diatribe about seeking qualities in a mate that you don’t need.

STAY SEXY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

On average people gain 2-5 lbs over the holidays. You can fight to get it off in January or you can stop the holiday heaviness before it starts by beginning a program with BeachBody on demand. Just go to DatesandMates.com and click the Beach Body Banner to get started.

 

Dating Safety & You’ve Got Mail

IT’S NATIONAL CYBERSECURITY AWARENESS MONTH!

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In honor of #CybersecurityAwarenessMonth, we’ve got important tips on how to date safely in today’s online dating climate. Evin Rose, dating and love life transformation coach for millennial women, returns to co-host this week’s episode. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (3:07)

Ariana gave back the ring, but kept the pig

Ariana and Pete Davidson have called it quits, TMZ reports. Even though this isn’t surprising, we are sad for them. Ariana has been going through a lot, but Pete’s comedy may have something to do with the split. Do you think that his jokes go too far?

Hillary Clinton defends Bill Clinton’s affair

Hillary Clinton is in hot water this week after defending Bill’s affair with Monica Lewinsky. According to Hillary, Bill’s affair was not an abuse of power because Monica was an adult. We have thoughts.

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Has anyone ever told you that you look like your BF? 

You’re not the only one. According to the HuffPost, there is an actual scientific reason why. Damona and Evin look into the Theory of Assortative Mating and explain why Brad Pitt looks like every one of his girlfriends. 

Dating App algorithms are limiting your options

Some apps are filtering out your matches based on race, according to the Chicago Tribune. In this episode, Damona and Evin tell you why this happens and what you can do to broaden your options.

DATING SAFETY (17:28)

For dating safety tips we welcomed Elise Oberliesen, LA times contributor and author of the Times’ article 7 safety tips to remember for online dating. Damona, Evin, and Elise talked about:

  • Dating Scams and Dangerous Online Dates
  • Dating Safety Tips
  • When to be cautious
  • Red Flags to look out for
  • Listening to your intuition
  • How to tell your if match is a catfish
  • What to do before you meet in person
  • When to give out your contact info?
  • If you met online, should you go home with them on the first date?
  • How online etiquette has changed since #MeToo

This is one segment you don’t want to miss. While catfish situations and dating scams aren’t the norm, it’s important to always be in the know about what you need to look out for. Like Elise says, remember to always listen to your intuition and if a date seems too good to be true, then it’s time to be cautious.

TECHNICALLY DATING  (37:30)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should you ask your college professor out?
  • What does it mean when your boyfriend tells you he’s asexual?
  • What do you do when you want your husband to be more spontaneous?

ROMANCE ROLLBACK (46:03)

Did you know that online dating had it’s origins in the 60s? Even before Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan made online dating popular in You’ve Got Mail, people started the online dating trend with something called “computer dating”. Damona gives us a dating history lesson.

To get Beachbody on demand free for 14 days, click the banner at DatesandMates.com. There you can also join the Dates & Mates listening community.

Read more of Elise Oberliesen’s work on Twitter @eliseannette or check out her Instagram @eliseoberliesen

You can join Evin’s Empowered Dating Community on Facebook @empowereddatingwithevinrose. She’s @evinrose on Instagram and online at EvinRoseCoaching.com

Gender Identity & Astrology of Love

IS LOVE IN THE STARS FOR YOU THIS FALL?

Carol Allen, from Love Is In the Stars, co-hosts this week’s episode. Carol is an astrologer who steers the love lives of many women based on what is written in the stars. Today on the show, she gives us a fantastic fall love forecast and joins us to talk about gender and sexuality because she has a personal connection to this topic through a close transgender family member who she’s supported through his transition. Together with our guest panel, Damona and Carol unpack what your dating life can learn from the experiences of those who have a different sexual orientation or gender identity than you do.

D’S DATING DISH

Why are divorce rates going down?

Thanks millennials! According to Time, a recent study shows that divorce rates dropped 18% from 2008 to 2016 and this is due mostly to the lower divorce rates among millennials. Is it really all that surprising that millennials are divorcing less than generations before them? We don’t think so.

What can you learn from Gen Z daters

According to a study done by the dating app Zoosk, there are a number things that Gen Z does right when it comes to dating. Gen Zers are the least picky daters and swipe right on 33% of the matches they are presented with. How can this help you and what else can you learn from this study? We have answers.

Your childhood faves have a new relationship status!

It’s been a few weeks since former Sesame Street writer, Mark Saltzman, confirmed that Bert and Ernie are indeed a gay couple. The official Sesame Workshop says differently, however. Does it matter whether Bert and Ernie are gay? Does representation matter – even in kids programming? Or are we taking the puppet relationship dynamic too far? The discussion heats up this week.

IDENTITY, SEXUALITY, AND GENDER

Sexuality and Gender Identity: Are they fixed or fluid? How do you know if the way you’ve been living or dating might be limiting your possibility of finding true love and happiness? We sat down with Jasmine Luna and Harry Caldwell to learn more about their experience.

Jasmine Luna is your average queer, transgender, latinx witch. She is a strong advocate for her queer community, which includes work at the Trevor Project and the Los Angeles LGBT Center.

Harry Caldwell is a Jewelry Designer, Yoga Instructor, and Tantra Instructor. He has identified as Pansexual for the last 15+ years and feels compelled to share his knowledge of the energy of love with everyone he encounters in order to reduce the amount of suffering in the world.

We talked about A LOT:

  • Pansexuality, Omnisexuality, Bisexuality, Transexuality
  • Transitioning
  • What it’s like Transitioning within a relationship
  • Pronouns & Identity
  • Mixed Raced Identity & Sexuality
  • Tantra & Unifying the Masculine and Feminine Energies within us
  • Dating in Los Angeles versus other cities
  • How to maintain outgoing mentality towards dating apps
  • Hookup Culture and Pansexuality
  • Making Love & Deep Intimate Connection
  • The Trevor Project
  • Panty Hose
  • Chickens

TECHNICALLY DATING  

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Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Is it normal to be dating multiple people online?
  • How can you tell if they’re busy or blowing you off?

FALL LOVE FORECAST

Carol Allen gives us the scoop on what the upcoming #VenusRetrograde means for your love life.

Get Carol’s compatibility report half off HERE using the offer code HALFOFF.

Join Damona’s community for free by taking your free e-course at DatesandMates.com

Follow Harry @CaldwellCrafted on IG

Follow Jasmine on IG @the_witchy_wonder and read her adventures jasmineseclipse.blogspot.com

Get your psychic reading from AskNow.com toll free at 877-626-1034

What Women Want & Seeking Arrangement

Are you confused about what women want?

Evin Rose, dating and love life transformation coach for millennial women, co-hosts this week’s episode of Dates & Mates. Last week, we dove deep into the mind of men and figured out what the guys are really thinking. Now it’s the ladies’ turn! Today Damona and Evin sit down with a panel of single women to figure out what women really want. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH

Why is it so hard to turn a Tinder date into a relationship?

Research from Michigan State University indicates that couples who meet online are 28% more likely to split up within a year. What makes these relationships different? What expectations should we have for Tinder dates? Damona and Evin discuss.

Put your best foot forward

Picking a first date outfit can be a lot of pressure. This week, MamaM!a published a few suggestions for your first date outfit. Damona and Evin give you some suggestions on how to show off your personality.

Are sugar babies bad for feminism?

SeekingArrangement now has over 3 million users worldwide and the numbers are growing. The average Sugar Baby is 25 and makes about 2800 a month from her Daddies. What are the biggest misconceptions about Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddy/Mommy relationships? Are these relationships actually empowering for Sugar Babies? Damona and Evin have thoughts.

 

WHAT A GIRL WANTS

Last week, the men told us what really goes on in their head. This week, the ladies got a turn. Today we sat down with Rebecca Bernard and Nelly Dennis to get some answers on what women really want. Here’s what we covered:

  • Men on dating apps & the riffraffery
  • The worst DMs
  • Do you right swipe when you see someone you know?
  • What do you do when married men proposition you?
  • Pick Up Lines
  • Courtship & Chivalry
  • Should women make the first move?
  • Who pays on the first date?

You know the drill, fellas. They’re single, ready to mingle, and open for DMs. (Please, no dick pics, thanks.)

 

TECHNICALLY DATING  

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here are the topics we answered this week:

  • Should you tell your dates that you’re seeing other people?
  • How do you ask your partner for a threesome?
  • How to get over anxiety over asking women out.

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE

This week we remember Mac Miller and send condolences to his family, friends, and Ariana Grande. Today on Damona’s diatribe, Damona has a message for those who are in relationships with a person struggling with addiction.

Try FabFitFun.com and get $10 off your first box with the code DatesandMates

Join Damona’s Community of Love by choosing your free e-course at DatesandMates.com and you’ll get access to the exclusive group coaching calls for Dates & Mates listeners.

Follow Damona on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook

Follow Evin Rose on Instagram @EvinRose, join her FREE Empowered Dating Community on @EmpoweredDatingwithEvinRos or visit her site evinrosecoaching.com

Find Rebecca and Nelly on Instagram – DMs from smart, serious guys only – haha!

 

Bossip TV & The Tinder Trick

We TV’s Bossip TV hosts Danielle ‘Dani’ Canada & Alana Danielle Gatling hit the headlines with Damona including the Tinder social experiment that swept NYC, Bumble Bizz & Bumble BFF, and the engagement of Priyanka Chopra & Nick Jonas (which Dates & Mates predicted back in episode 220). Questions from listeners include how to Facebook sleuth on your man and how much makeup a woman should wear to a date.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:30)

Dozens of men tricked into a dating competition

Last week, a Tinder user named Natasha Aponte coordinated a massive meeting of those she matched with on Tinder in Union Square. Those men that stayed participated in a literal competition where the winner allegedly got to go on a date with her. Apparently done as a commentary on modern dating, do you think this went too far? You can read more via CBS News here.

You can now turn off dating mode on Bumble

Bumble Biz and Bumble BFF have been around for a minute now, but you can now elect to turn off the dating portion of the app entirely, making it clear you’re only there for professional or platonic connection. You can read more via PopSugar here.

Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra confirm engagement

We called it! Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra have officially announced their engagement, rumored to have sealed the deal sometime last month. You can read more via NJ.com here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (31:35)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • What to do if your fiance was messaging another woman
  • If you should wear makeup when meeting a guy for the first time

And many more . . .

DATING DOT DOT DOT (47:36)

We got Monique’s lightning fast love advice in another installment of Dating Dot Dot

  1. _________ is always sexy
  2. _________ is never sexy
  3. The biggest red flag on a dating profile is_________
  4. The most common first date mistake is _________
  5. The most important quality in a wife is_________
  6. The most important quality in a husband is _________

Try FabFitFun.com and get $10 off your first box with the code DatesandMates

Visit DatesandMates.com for your free dating or relationship e-course. Pick the one that fits your relationship status!

Follow Dani on IG

Follow Alana on IG

Follow Damona on IG

Catch Bossip TV Thursdays on We TV at 10 p.m. ET.

 

Better Sex & Interracial Emojis

Our guest co-host this week was Kongit Farrell. Kongit Farrell is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of the Inspired Journey Counseling Center in Los Angeles. She worked as a coach and therapist for nine years and she also worked in the First Lady’s Office of Communication in the White House. 

 

D’S DATING DISH (14:50)

Red flags to watch out for when dating someone younger

Damona was recently featured in Elite Daily with a whole bunch of tips for those in this potentially sticky situation. Most importantly, take note of if your younger partner seems preoccupied with your career or connections, if your sex drives aren’t in sync, or if they haven’t integrated you into their life. Read the full article via Elite Daily here.

Jennifer Aniston has had enough of sex and dating

Aniston just recently split from her beau Justin Theroux, and claims that all she’s interested in is “Me Time.” Although a Hollywood heartthrob, she’s not even interested in anything in terms of the bedroom. Any eligible sutiors out there? You can read more via Hollywood Life here.

Tinder users are more open to interracial dating

Of more than 4,000 people surveyed, 72% said that Tinder was the most diverse dating app and 80% said that they’ve been on an interracial date before. What do you think? Do you think online dating is diversifying the dating pool? You can read more via BuzzFeed here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (28:52)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to deal with your significant other’s conservative parents
  • What to do when you’re not sure if it’s cool to invite someone to a wedding
  • How to turn away a persistent guy who is making you uncomfortable

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:25)

Every once in awhile Damona has something to get off her chest, and this week was no exception. Up this time on the chopping block: the lack of effort in guys’ dating profiles today. Tune in to see what she had to say.

Micro-Cheating & PTSAD

Our guest co-host this week was Carmelia Ray. Carmelia is an internationally acclaimed matchmaker for high achieving men and the quality women they’re searching for. She’s helped over 7,000 clients and is a renowned TV personality on shows such as Mom vs. Matchmaker and The Real Housewives of Toronto. Appearing in such publications as AskMen, Variety, and The Hollywood Reporter, clients can’t get enough of her “never settle” attitude and we were happy to welcome her on.

D’S DATING DISH (17:14)

New roundup of dating terms

We like to check in on dating slang every once in awhile, and we’ve got some new terms for you to keep an ear out for, including micro-cheating, catch and release, and the slow fade, in addition to some terms we’ve covered before such as breadcrumbing, ghosting, and love bombing. You can read more via FOX News here.

Drew Barrymore gives online dating a try

Barrymore has dreamed of a blind date since she was a little girl, but only recently drummed up the courage to give elite dating app Raya a try. Unfortunately, she didn’t meet with much success, and to make things worse, her ex-husband mentioned he was surprised to see her on the app even though she tried to delete her profile. You can read more via E! here.

A woman’s surprising way of celebrating a divorce

While many say that time heals all wounds, Briana Barksdale would beg to disagree. Barksdale recently held a garage sale where she sold all of the items she owns that remind her of her ex-husband, ending with her burning her wedding dress in front of the onlookers. You can read more via USA Today here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:11)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How you should feel if your boyfriend went out with his friends on Valentine’s Day
  • What to do if you need to hack your boyfriend’s cellphone to prove he’s cheating
  • What to do if you’re in the military and learn your wife’s found another man

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (46:23)

It’s been awhile since Damona’s needed to blow off some steam, but this week we were treated to another diatribe. The topic? Love starting with you.

Get one week free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

Claim your free gift and get more dating advice at DatesandMates.com