Tag Archive for: Shan Boodram

Dear Damona: Great Expectations & The Talk

 

We’re coming at you this week with our very first all-Dear Damona episode of Dates & Mates Season 11! And the word of the week? HEALING.

We’ve been seeing a lot of misplaced anger, frustration, and disappointment on all the socials this week on well-intentioned posts – everything from raising money for charity to book recommendations. There’s a lot of pain circulating in the form of critical comments and insults being delivered behind the veil of a phone screen.

But instead of fighting anger with anger, think about shifting your instincts towards healing.

Every action that we take is motivated by one thing – to move toward love or away from pain. We do not heal our pain through complaining, through dragging someone on social media, or from ghosting. We heal our pain through listening and through extending compassion to others.

And when we are healed and whole, we can move towards love and away from pain at the same time. Hurt people hurt people and healed people help people. And boy, do we need more helpers and healers right now.

On that note, let’s get into the business of the week. You asked for it – our first Dear Damona episode of the season.

DEAR DAMONA (2:45)

 

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on our next all-Dear Damona episode!

 

  • (2:45) Voicemail from Chantel: Hello, I recently jumped back into using dating apps and I’ve met someone who I really like who is kind, thoughtful and cute. We’ve been dating for about three months. I’m wondering if I should initiate a serious relationship talk? He said he is open to long term relationships. But we haven’t really talked about what our relationship goals are yet. So I’m not sure whether he meets my needs for a long term relationship. I am attending grad school and working. So I’m pretty busy, and I don’t have a whole lot of time for dating apps. I’m kind of worried that if I continue to date him, I won’t explore other potential matches. So I’m just wondering if I should initiate the serious dating talk or if I should just continue to date him casually and learn more about each other.

 

  • (9:50) Voicemail from Bren: Hi Damona! I am a 60 year old woman, new to the dating scene after a recent divorce. I have a question about complete honesty on dating profiles. I am a physician and I am very hesitant to put it on a profile so as to avoid a lot of the predatory stuff that goes on and some of the dating sites. But of course, I like the fact that I’m a physician. I’m proud of what I do, but not really sure how to approach that on a dating website. What is your advice in regards to staying safe and being fully transparent about your profession online?

 

  • (15:37) IG Message from Shana: Hi Damona, I have a query about not getting too disappointed after first dates which appeared to have gone very well, but then you don’t hear back from the man. Would you be able to offer some sound advice on expectations and not having them deflated?

 

  • (24:35) Voice Memo from T: Hey Damona! I was in a relationship for about two and a half years. Two weeks before it ended, we were engaged. It has been three months of healing, grieving, therapy and journaling and processing the end of this relationship. I am getting curious and excited. So the question is, how do you internally know if you’re ready to get back into the dating world after processing a serious breakup?

 

  • (28:52) Text from S: Hi Damona! I absolutely love your podcast. My question is how boring is too boring? I have been dating online for the past year and have met a lot of guys who are nice and want to see me again, but the dates are very bland and low energy. Should I be doing more to spice things up, or should I just pass on the guys if we don’t click after a couple dates?

Matchmaking the Stars & Eggs In One Basket

 

Welcome to the second episode of Dates & Mates Season 11!

As part of the new season, each episode we will have a Word of the Week to set the tone. And the word this week is EXPANSION. The Dates & Mates team just got back from the Podcast Movement Conference in Denver, where we met so many new people, reconnected with the community, and discussed ways to expand the bounds of Dates & Mates. So this week’s mission is to expand your thinking around your dating pool and take some time to look at what you’re attracting in.

To help in expanding your dating pool, our guest today is Amber-Kelleher Andrews. She’s known in the biz as the matchmaker to the stars, but the name on her business card is CEO of Kelleher International, one of the largest matchmaking firms in the U.S.

Amber will share what her clients are really looking for in a match and how she finds it. Plus, she’ll reveal why she rarely pairs two celebs together. (So if you’ve always dreamed of matching with your favorite movie star, you might have a better shot than you realize. 🫢)

DATING DISH

Damona will still be dishing on all the hottest dating news, BUT the Dating Dish segment will now live on TikTok and Instagram (so we can see YOUR hot takes in the comments).

AMBER KELLEHER-ANDREWS (2:20)

In 2014 Amber starred in NBC’s prime time reality show “Ready For Love” which followed her radio talk show for CBS. Since then, she has appeared on The Today Show, GMA, 20/20, Nightline, BBC, and NBC news. Now, she is the CEO of Kelleher International, one of the largest matchmaking firms in the U.S.

(4:05) What makes two people a good match?

A matchmaker’s sole purpose is to have an eye for a good match – but how does Amber know when this is the case? She shares that people tend to look outside themselves for what a good partner possesses, and suggests turning more towards self-discovery. “If we were to walk around like a magnet, drawing in everything we need, we’d have to do some self-inventory first. You don’t want to draw in unhealthy patterns, drama, etc.”

Stereotypically, celebrities aren’t usually known for being introspective. So how do you find a match for someone who isn’t in the healthiest place? Amber gives her thoughts.

(9:10) Unlinking your social media & dating profile…

One of Damona’s top recommendations when dating online is to avoid including your social media information on your dating profile, because there is a big difference in how we may present ourselves in public versus when we’re trying to find a partner. 

Amber says she tries to match her clients on who they are, versus how they’re perceived in the celebrity world.

Amber also mentions it’s important to manage your expectations when dating, and challenge yourself on your type. One way you can do this is for every must-have, simply ask yourself “why.”

 

(18:40) How to make a great first impression!

 From a matchmaker’s perspective, Amber details why it’s important for her to keep her client’s expectations low when sending them out on a date – “you want the client to set their own expectations for their date.” 

That being said, Amber goes over some of the ways you can make a great first impression. For example, don’t do a lot of texting or have a lot of phone calls beforehand. Know what questions you’re going to ask on the date, so you don’t freeze up.

Amber and Damona also go over some crucial first date red flags, plus signs that your date is DEFINITELY interested in you.

 

 

Be sure to follow Amber on Instagram @Amber_Kelleher. And if you’d like to become a client of Kelleher International, just visit DamonaHoffman.com/matchmaker.



DEAR DAMONA

Our first ALL Dear Damona episode of the season will air next week on September 5th. SO, if you have a question, the DMs are open @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook



Shan Boodram & The Marriage Pact

Believe it or not, we have been making episodes of Dates & Mates for over a DECADE – and now we’re excited to welcome in both loyal and brand new listeners for Season 11!

As mentioned last week, we have developed a new and improved, shorter format of the show. You’ll still hear all of the info-packed interviews that you love every week with all-Dear Damona episodes sprinkled in here and there (so keep those questions coming – scroll to the bottom to find out how).

But we’ve got a hot topic to kick off the new season: marriage pacts. This topic has been moving back into the limelight these days as Roku’s new show The Marriage Pact sets out to analyze the friendship-to-relationship pathway. And, we HAD to know more!!

The show is hosted by friend and former Dates & Mates guest, two time best-selling author, certified sexologist and host of the Lovers & Friends podcast, Shan Boodram. 

And that’s why we HAD to have Shan join us for the Dates & Mates Season 11 Premiere to talk about why YOU might want to consider a marriage pact.

 

DATING DISH

Damona will still be dishing on all the hottest dating news, BUT the Dating Dish segment will now live on TikTok and Instagram (so we can see YOUR hot takes in the comments).

 

SHAN BOODRAM (2:00)

Shan is a two time best-selling author, certified sexologist and host of the Lovers & Friends podcast. She can be seen hosting Roku’s new show The Marriage Pact, streaming for free!

(2:50) Define “marriage pact.”

In case you forgot, a marriage pact is an agreement between two people (usually friends) that agree to pursue a marriage or partnership if neither of them is married by a certain age. So as the host of The Marriage Pact, Shan assists these pairs in navigating whether or not to pursue a friends-to-lovers relationship. Damona asks Shan for her thoughts on the most difficult marriage pact scenarios, and the two discuss the differences between settling vs. settling down vs. securing.

(9:55) The pillars of LTC…

You may have heard Damona mention her pillars of long-term compatibility – shared goals, shared values, trust, and conflict resolution. Although Shan offers that in her book, attraction often comes into play in those pillars. Shan also offers her thoughts on the power of marriage pacts – one perk being that if you’re a self-sabotager, having a specific timeline can push you to make a definitive decision about your future.

(20:05) The pandemic-dating ripple effect.

Damona and Shan debrief on the most prominent dating trends that came out as a result of the pandemic, and how they have evolved in the last two years. These trends include being more “consciously single,” prioritizing mental health, and how some singles prefer to find pen pals over dating apps rather than meet IRL. Ghosting also appears to be a RAMPANT behavioral trend nowadays, and Damona and Shan break down why this is.

Be sure to follow Shan Boodram on Instagram @ShanBoodram and check out The Marriage Pact on Roku for free!

 

DEAR DAMONA

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on a future Dear Damona episode!

The Game of Desire & Dating With Dominance

HOW TO WIN THE GAME OF DESIRE

Shan Boodram - The Game of Desire

Season 7 is HERE!

Modern love has changed DRASTICALLY since I first started the Dates & Mates Podcast 7 years ago but I’m committed to continuing to keep you up to speed on the latest news, tip, and techniques in the dating game.

Speaking of dating, do you ever feel like finding love is just game of cat & mouse between men and women? 

Then you’ll want to hear from, SHAN BOODY, sexologist and intimacy expert behind The Game of Desire. She performed a study on how to come out on top in the game of love. Can you actually learn to be more attractive?

Apparently you can! Her book, The Game of Desire is revolutionary in so many ways and I’m thrilled to finally have her on the show after watching her business grow the last couple of years.

We give you the skinny on:

  • High Interest Playmates vs Low Interest Playmates
  • Tips to becoming your most desireable self
  • Dating Studies & Stats you NEED to know
  • Shan’s 5 Step Program for becoming your most desireable self
  • Should you ask your ex for a “Relationship Yelp Review”?

 

If you haven’t already shared Dates & Mates with a friend, now is the time! I have a goal of doubling our reach this season so we can help more people and heal more hearts.

Make sure you and a friend are both subscribed to Dates & Mates this season on your favorite podcast platform so you don’t miss any of the info-rich, entertaining episodes that I have lined up for you this season. 

 

DATES & MATES DEALS: START DATING NOW!

Damona will announce details about her 30 Day Dating Playbook Program re-release on the show later this month. If you want to get into this premium online-led dating course, The 30 Day Dating Playbook Program, CLICK HERE to get on the early interest list for a special deal.

via GIPHY