Tag Archive for: Renewing and Recovering

The Singles Tax & New LDR

The Singles Tax: Is Moving In Together About Love or Money?

Have you ever noticed that life just seems a little bit more expensive when you’re living solo? If you’ve felt the pinch of paying full rent, utilities, and groceries without someone to split the costs, you’re not imagining things.

This week we dive into a topic that hits daters right in the wallet: the singles tax. Whether it’s splitting the rent, closing costs, or that pesky electric bill, having someone to share the financial burdens of life can really take the load off.

But while moving in together often seems like a relationship milestone, is it always the right decision?

And then later in Dear Damona, we address this question of the week: New relationship. Yay! Long distance. Oh boy. Advice for making it work?

(2:23) Living Solo Is Costing You HOW Much?!

Meet Amanda Pendleton, an Emmy Award winning storyteller and television personality who serves as Zillow’s home trends expert. Her practical, data-driven advice on real estate and design has been featured on Today, Real Simple, Glamour, Forbes, NBC, ABC, CBS, and Fox around the country.

“This is the premium that you pay in order to live alone, to live single,” Amanda explains. “And it’s a lot.”

The difference between splitting costs with a partner versus paying solo is eye-opening, especially in major cities. But is saving money enough of a reason to give up your sacred thermostat control?

(8:22) Moving In Together? Ask These Questions First!

Before moving in together, every couple should consider the complete picture, not just the financial benefits.

Damona discusses her “Who, What, When, Where, Why” framework for cohabitation. 

Amanda emphasizes having a written cohabitation agreement: “It is so important to have some kind of written cohabitation agreement before you enter this situation.”

(15:10) Why Your Rent Keeps Skyrocketing (It’s Not Just You)

The pressure to cohabitate has increased dramatically due to the housing market. Rental rates for single-family homes have increased significantly from pre-pandemic numbers!

This supply-demand mismatch has created an affordability crisis that makes the “singles tax” even more painful for solo dwellers. We explore what factors are driving these changes and how they’re affecting dating decisions.

(21:08) When Your Credit Score Becomes a Dating Issue

We often talk about emotional compatibility, shared interests, and chemistry, but what about financial compatibility?

Damona explores with Amanda how money conversations can pressure-test your relationship in valuable ways. Does one partner have excellent credit while the other struggles with debt? How will that impact your future housing options together?

These financial compatibility factors might not be romantic, but they’re crucial to address before signing a lease or mortgage together.

(24:26) Buy a House, Find a Spouse?

Amanda shares some surprising Zillow research: “We did a study last year, and it found that more than 2 in 5 recent home buyers say that they fell in love after they bought a home.”

This challenges the traditional “love, marriage, homeownership” sequence many of us grew up expecting. Could buying property actually improve your dating prospects? The discussion reveals what this means for singles hesitant to make major life moves without a partner.

Connect with Amanda on Zillow.com

(32:09) Dear Damona: Long Distance Love Without the Stress

A listener asks: “Do you have any advice on newly dating someone long distance?”

Long distance relationships require intentionality and planning.  Our advice includes having “the future” conversation earlier than you might in a local relationship, since you need to know if relocation is even possible. 

Creating meaningful virtual dates keeps your connection strong, while making sure some of your time together includes normal, everyday experiences helps build a realistic foundation.

With the right approach and the four pillars of compatibility, distance doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker.

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

 

Dysregulated Dating & Beginning Again

Have you ever felt your heart race before a first date? Do you shut down during conflict, or find yourself in an anxious spiral waiting for a text back, you’re not alone. 

The truth is, love isn’t just in your head, it’s in your body too. The way we attach, react, and connect is deeply wired into our nervous system, shaped by past experiences and, for many of us, past wounds.

This week we are joined in our journey by master certified Somatic Life coach Beatriz Victoria Albina. She’ll be breaking down the ways that a dysregulated nervous system gets in our way romantically, how to tune in to the cues your body is sending you, and how to heal ourselves for healthier, happier relationships. 

Later we’ll answer this Dear Damona question of the week: How do I begin dating again now that my 15-year marriage has ended?

So take a deep breath, settle in, and get ready. Because today we’re going to give you a lot of advice, a lot of key takeaways, and a whole mind-body-spirit journey on love from the inside out.

(2:06) The Nervous System Whisperer

Meet Beatriz Victoria Albina, a master certified somatic life coach who helps us understand how our bodies affect our love lives!

“My work is all about helping humans who are socialized as women to overcome our codependent, perfectionist and people pleasing habits, which relates to every millisecond of how we relate,” Beatriz explains. “It’s really a relational issue, and the lens I use is both a feminist one and a nervous system lens.”

She’s a family nurse practitioner, somatic experience practitioner, and breathwork meditation guide with a master’s degree in public health from Boston University and hosts the Feminist Wellness podcast.

Your Inner Caveperson is Freaking Out (5:00)

Did you know your dating anxiety is actually a prehistoric survival mechanism?

When your nervous system detects a potential threat – whether it’s a predator in the wild or an unanswered text – it triggers the same biological response. Your body can’t tell the difference between facing a lion and facing rejection on a dating app!

Beatriz breaks down the three surprising nervous system states that control your dating life and explains why understanding them is the key to transforming your relationship patterns.

Swiping Into a Nervous Breakdown (14:04)

“We’re not designed to be swiping hundreds of faces or be scrolling doomscrolling Instagram after we get ghosted for like six hours of doomscrolling with the TV on while drinking wine,” Beatriz warns. These digital dating habits are literally rewiring our nervous systems.

The constant swiping and ghosting creates intense cycles of hope and disappointment – much like an addictive loop. 

We explore the hidden neurological cost of dating app burnout and what you might be missing when your nervous system is constantly frazzled by digital dating.

The 30-Second Date Calm-Down Trick (20:57)

Panicking before a date? There’s a science-backed trick that’s surprisingly simple.

When dating anxiety hits, your brain’s emotion center hijacks your thinking. But what if you could redirect that energy in less than a minute?

Beatriz shares a counterintuitive technique that sounds almost too basic to work – yet the neuroscience behind it is solid. 

This easy practice could be the difference between shutting down on a promising date and staying present enough to make a real connection.

Your Dating Superhero Has Your Back (32:38)

Everyone needs a secret weapon when dating anxiety strikes.

Beyond just positive self-talk, Beatriz introduces a powerful concept that creates an emotional anchor in turbulent dating waters. This technique helps you stay grounded when dating triggers your deepest insecurities.

The approach draws on both ancient wisdom and modern neuroscience, and it might completely change how you handle pre-date jitters, awkward silences, and post-date overthinking.

Connect with Beatriz:

(41:48) Dear Damona: Starting Over After Divorce

A listener shares:

“Dear Damona, after my 15-year marriage ended last year, I haven’t been able to start dating yet. I was raised in a conservative religious environment and never dated until meeting my ex and subsequently marrying him in a matter of months, so I actually have no idea how to even start dating.”

Dating after a long marriage isn’t just about meeting new people – it’s about meeting a new version of yourself.

We suggest a fresh approach that takes all the pressure off and reframes the entire dating process.

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

 

Dear Damona: Waiting for Love & Inner Work

Do dating apps have you feeling exhausted? Tired of matches who never read your profile? This week’s all-Dear-Damona episode tackles your biggest dating frustrations with straight-to-the-point advice.

From outdated “men should chase” myths to those frustrating matches who never read your profile, we tackled the dating dilemmas keeping you up at night.

Whether you’re dusting off your dating apps, stepping back into the social scene, or just trying to figure out if that celebrity DM is legit (spoiler: it’s probably not) we’ve got you covered.

(00:57) Hot Topics on the Dating Agenda

This week’s listener questions covered everything from making the first move to spotting sophisticated romance scams, proving once again that sharing our dating struggles helps everyone navigate this wild journey together.

  • Should women ever make the first move?
  • How to handle matches who never read your dating profile
  • Finding partners who’ve done their own personal growth work
  • Determining if that celebrity sliding into your DMs is legit or a scam

Spoiler alert: one of these situations could cost you more than just your heart!

(01:53) Is “Men Should Chase” Just an Outdated Myth?

“What year is it? It’s 2025, right? I was just checking because I wanted to remind you that we do not live in the olden times,” Damona quipped when Angela called wondering if women making the first move has “psychological consequences.”

Angela’s heard all about how “men are programmed to chase women,” but the men pursuing her aren’t the ones she’s interested in.

This outdated notion belongs in the history books alongside other dating myths that are holding you back from finding genuine connection.

(10:58) When Your Dating Profile Goes Unread

Spent hours crafting the perfect dating profile only to have matches immediately ask questions you’ve already answered? Brigid’s frustration might mirror your own!

We tackled why this happens so frequently and shared a refreshing perspective that might change how you respond. 

After all, dating apps are a numbers game – but that doesn’t mean you can’t play to win!

(20:41) Finding Partners Who’ve Done the Inner Work

After investing in therapy and personal development, Karina wonders if looking for men who’ve done similar work makes her “unicorn hunting.”

Turns out, the stats on men in therapy might surprise you! 

We crunched the numbers and discovered an eye-opening reality about the dating pool when it comes to emotional intelligence and personal growth.

(28:45) Is That Celebrity DMing You? Probably Not.

“Jane, you sound like a very logical person with a good heart who really just wants to be loved,” Damona shared with a listener caught in what had all the warning signs of a sophisticated romance scam.

When someone claiming to be a famous singer-songwriter contacts you through an “unverified fan account,” should you believe it? 

We unpacked the red flags that everyone should know about – especially when gift card requests enter the picture!

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Master Class: Beyond Dating Burnout

Bringing Back Empathy: The Key to Deeper Relationships

Is dating feeling disconnected? Are you experiencing dating burnout?, This week on Dates & Mates, we reveal why bringing back empathy is the key to deeper relationships.

Science actually  says that empathy makes you more attractive. In this special 550th masterclass episode, we explore how to cultivate empathy, share exercises to strengthen your empathy muscles, and reveal why having compassion for yourself is just as important as having it for others.

Get ready for a transformative episode that will help you feel empowered, whole, and full – because that’s ultimately the best place to date from.

(2:16) Dating Without Empathy? It’s Like Swimming Without Water!

Swipe, chat briefly, move on, repeat. Without empathy, dating has turned into a fast-food experience where no one leaves satisfied!

The speed of communication has changed everything. What happened to connection? In this segment, we dive into why ghosting and breadcrumbing have become the norm, and how this disconnect leaves us all feeling burnt out and hungry for something real.

(6:06) Turns Out Being a Good Listener Makes You Hotter (Science Says So!)

Your ears might be your most underrated dating asset! Research shows that empathetic people aren’t just nicer – they’re actually perceived as more charismatic and trustworthy.

Why is empathy declining worldwide? We break down the fascinating science linking screen time to emotional disconnection and reveal exactly how strengthening your empathy muscles can make you magnetically attractive to potential partners.

(14:04) The 80/20 Rule That Will Transform Your Dating Life

Ever feel like your dates are more like job interviews than genuine connection? There’s a simple rule that changes everything – and it’s not what you think!

Active listening creates “stickiness” between people. By validating emotions and asking thoughtful follow-up questions, you’ll stand out from the crowd of daters who are just waiting for their turn to talk. The best part? This technique works whether you’re 25 or 75!

(21:53) Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who’s The Most Dateable Of Them All?

Self-empathy – your dating superpower in disguise! Before you can truly understand others, you’ve got to understand yourself (and yes, it might feel awkward at first).

What do mirror work, letters to your younger self, and pre-date emotional check-ins have in common? They’re all tools to build self-compassion that naturally extends to others. In this segment, we break down simple exercises that feel good and make you better at connecting with potential partners.

(30:57) Rapid Fire Q&A: Dating Empathy To The Rescue!

“They say they want a relationship but act completely unavailable.” Sound familiar? You’re not alone! In this lightning round, we tackle your burning dating questions:

  • Why are so many people less emotionally available than they say? We explore how the pandemic has zapped our empathy reserves and what to do about it.
  • How can we utilize roster dating for less burnout and better turnout? Discover why putting all your eggs in one basket might be causing more stress than success.
  • I used to find joy in dating. Now it feels like a chore. How can I find the joy again? The surprising truth about who’s responsible for your good time on dates.
  • How can you get a nervous first date to open up and relax? Simple techniques to create trust and safety that will have them sharing in no time.

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Is Dating Harder Today & Coming On Strong

Is Finding Love Different in 2025? (The Answer Might Surprise You)

Between crafting the perfect text response, managing multiple dating app profiles, and dealing with unexpected ghosting, modern dating can feel like a full-time job. But is finding love actually harder today, or is it just a different game that needs new rules?

In this week’s episode of Dates & Mates, relationship expert Johnny Fernandez brings two decades of love-coaching wisdom to challenge everything you thought you knew about modern dating.

As the creator of Love Breakthrough Live, Johnny’s unconventional approach has helped thousands find lasting love – and his take on today’s dating landscape might just change your entire perspective.

(2:20) This Former Lawyer Cracked the Love Code

When Johnny Fernandez’s wife kept extending her chiropractic appointments to give dating advice, they discovered something revolutionary about modern love. 

Now, after 20 years of helping thousands find lasting relationships, their unconventional approach is challenging everything we thought we knew about dating. 

Johnny shares how their accidental start in love coaching unveiled patterns of success that anyone can follow.

(6:21) The Dating Pool Paradox

Could having more dating options actually be the solution rather than the problem? Johnny breaks down fascinating research about modern dating challenges while revealing why today’s expanded opportunities might be your greatest advantage.

Learn how successful couples are leveraging choice to create stronger connections, and why the “good old days” of dating might not have been as golden as we think.

(14:04) Why “Playing It Cool” Is Killing Your Love Life

Tired of trying to seem unbothered? Johnny introduces a refreshing framework for authenticity in dating that’s helping singles stand out for all the right reasons.

Is traditional dating advice about keeping your cards close to your chest sabotaging your chances at real connection? Learn Johnny’s proven strategies his clients use to attract partners who are ready for something real.

(21:53) The One Phrase That Changes Everything

Johnny shares the exact words that help his clients filter out casual daters and attract serious partners from the first interaction. 

Certain types of dates might be undermining your relationship potential! How can you communicate your standards without pushing quality partners away? Plus, discover the psychology behind why this approach works with today’s dating dynamics.

(27:15) The Career Success Dating Trap

Think your impressive resume is attracting the right partners?

Johnny presents compelling evidence about how modern achievement culture impacts our love lives.

Learn why leading with your professional success might be sending unintended signals, and discover how to showcase your accomplishments while creating genuine emotional connections.

Connect with Johnny:

(30:57) Dear Damona: When Distance Tests Your Heart

Damona addresses a 70-year-old listener contemplating a cross-country move for love, offering practical guidance on maintaining standards while navigating geographical challenges. 

Plus, she shares valuable insights for managing dating confidence while dealing with personal health situations that affect intimacy.

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Romances & Practicalities

Love, Dating, and the 250 Questions That Could Transform Your Love Life…

It’s 2025, and if there’s one thing many of us crave, it’s a roadmap to romance – a way to navigate the complex journey from that first spark to a lasting flame. While we can’t promise you a yellow brick road to love, this week’s episode offers something more valuable: a practical system for determining if your connection has true staying power.

Join us as we explore a revolutionary approach to modern dating that combines authentic communication with strategic timing. Plus, we’ll tackle a compelling “Dear Damona” segment that hits close to home, addressing the delicate balance of vulnerability and defining the relationship in our digital age.

(1:03) From Emmy-Nominated Producer to Love Story Architect

Meet Lindsay Jill Roth, the award-winning television producer behind Emmy-nominated shows and global events for NBC, ESPN, and the Grammys. 

Now she’s turned her storytelling expertise to decode the narrative of lasting love, bringing a fresh perspective to how we approach relationships. 

Fun fact: her college bestie and maid of honor is none other than the Duchess of Sussex!

When Google Becomes Your Dating Coach (2:06)

After one pivotal FaceTime call threatened to derail her budding romance, Lindsay took an unexpected deep dive into relationship research. 

Discover how her late-night Google search for “how to know someone better” evolved into a groundbreaking system that’s helping couples worldwide determine their compatibility. 

Through conversations with top relationship experts and real-world testing, she uncovered the power of asking the right questions at the right moment.

The Two-Sense Connection (15:38)

What happens when you strip away touch, taste, and smell from early dating? 

Lindsay’s transatlantic love story reveals how limiting yourself to just sight and sound might actually deepen your connection. Learn why traditional dating rules could be sabotaging your chance at authentic love, and how strategic communication can bridge any distance – even an ocean. 

Plus, uncover the unexpected advantage of being forced to truly talk before getting physical.

Beyond “What’s Your Favorite Movie?” (30:36)

Forget surface-level chit-chat – it’s time to dive deep into the questions that actually predict relationship success. 

From financial philosophies to family dynamics, Lindsay breaks down why discussing your future in-laws’ sleeping arrangements might matter more than your shared Netflix preferences. 

Learn the art of timing these conversations for maximum impact, and why some couples find these discussions so intimate they can’t help but put the book down mid-chapter.

The Truth About Vulnerability in Modern Dating (42:49)

Ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about playing it cool? 

Lindsay shares two controversial perspectives that might make you rethink your entire approach to relationships. 

Discover why being authentically yourself from the start could be your secret weapon in finding lasting love, and how dropping “The Rules” might actually lead you to the right person.

Connect with Lindsay:

(43:21)Dear Damona: When Your Match Is Still Swiping

When a listener spots their promising match still updating their dating app profile, Damona shares her own journey through this exact situation with her now-husband. 

Get candid advice about when to have that defining conversation, how to approach it with confidence, and why this seemingly uncomfortable moment might be the perfect opportunity to deepen your connection.

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Tinder Trivia and Getting Ghosted

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! Whether you’re feeling the love or dodging Cupid’s arrow, we’ve got something special for you.

In this episode, we’re celebrating all things love and dating with a fun twist – testing our knowledge with Tinder Trivia! Professional matchmaker and Tinder’s resident relationship expert Devyn Simone steps into the hot seat to challenge conventional dating wisdom and reveal surprising truths about finding love in the digital age.

Plus, we’ve got a special “Dear Damona & Dear Devyn” segment with two burning questions from our listeners about ghosting and dating app dynamics.

(41:04) Tinder’s Go-TO Guru Who Found Love on an App (Twice)

For anyone wondering whether dating apps actually work, Devyn Simone brings proof positive – complete with a ring! 

This powerhouse matchmaker and dating expert has gone from sharing wisdom on Good Morning America and The Today Show to co-hosting “Love at First Swipe” on TLC with Clinton Kelly.

Now, as Tinder’s resident relationship expert, she’s pulling back the curtain on what really works in modern dating. Her own success story was so compelling it earned a spotlight in Damona’s book “F the Fairy Tale”!

Game On: Tinder Trivia Reveals Surprising Dating Truths (9:08) 

The game kicks off with a challenge that catches everyone off guard: Which day sees the most activity on dating apps? 

As Devyn puts the question to the test, the conversation explores how timing can make all the difference in your dating app success. From peak usage hours to the psychology behind why certain days lead to more matches, this segment uncovers data-driven insights that most users never consider.

Myth-Busting: What Singles Really Want (15:38)

Think most people on dating apps are just looking for casual connections? Think again. 

The trivia continues with shocking statistics about what men and women are actually seeking on Tinder. The numbers tell a completely different story than what most people assume, leading to an eye-opening discussion about how these misconceptions affect dating behavior. 

Devyn shares real stories from her years of matchmaking experience that challenge everything singles think they know about dating app culture, while revealing how these insights can lead to more authentic connections.

The Profile Photo Strategy No One Talks About (30:36)

The next round of trivia dives into the science of profile photos, revealing exactly how long successful daters spend selecting their images. 

This sparks a fascinating conversation about the psychology behind profile photos and how Tinder’s new AI-powered tools are changing the game. The discussion explores common photo mistakes that might be sabotaging potential matches, along with practical strategies for showcasing authenticity in a digital world.

The Dating Feature That Can Expand Your Matches (42:49) 

The final trivia round unveils Tinder’s most powerful yet underutilized feature for expanding dating possibilities. 

This revelation leads to an in-depth exploration of how geography affects dating success and why thinking outside your zip code might be the key to finding meaningful connections. We challenge traditional assumptions about distance and dating, offering fresh perspectives on how to expand your dating pool without compromising on what matters most.

Connect with Devyn:

(41:04) Dear Damona & Dear Devyn

  • When “Let’s Meet Up” Comes Too Soon

Siggy asks: “How do you suggest handling men on apps who seem to just want to set up a date from the onset before even exchanging any texts? Video chat requests seem to make them disappear.” 

Our experts break down why this behavior is actually a gift in disguise and share strategies for maintaining your standards while efficiently screening potential matches.

  • Why Do the “Good Ones” Keep Disappearing?

B writes: “Why is it that when I feel like I meet a quality guy and we connect, they ghost me or it doesn’t lead anywhere? Could I be coming on too strong with my excitement?” 

Devyn and Damona explore the psychology behind this common pattern, offering insights on attachment styles, emotional availability, and how to maintain enthusiasm while protecting your energy.

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Dear Damona: Dating Groove & Twin Flame’s Twin

It’s February, and love is in the air! But before you start stress-scrolling past all those heart-shaped decorations and candy displays, take a deep breath. Around here, we celebrate love in all its beautiful forms, whether that’s self-love, family bonds, friendship, or yes, even romance.

This week’s Dear Damona episode covers everything from finding love after a 30-year marriage (hello, hot Tinder date in Vienna!) to navigating workplace crushes when there are two potential connections. 

We’re tackling real questions about handling singles mixer dynamics, balancing dating with single parenthood, and even exploring what happens when twin bonds impact romantic relationships. 

So grab your favorite chocolate (because let’s face it, it’s way better than those chalky candy hearts), and settle in for some authentic conversation about finding connection in today’s dating landscape.

(00:25) Dear Damona

Got dating dilemmas? Relationship riddles? You can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Finding Your Groove After Thirty Years of “I Do” (02:18) 

After three decades of marriage, one listener is rediscovering herself through dating apps – and finding unexpected joy in a Viennese romance. 

As she puts it, “I’m not sure who or what was on my side, but I met a smoking hot 40-year-old guy on Tinder and two days with him made up for everything.” But now she’s wondering: how can she date authentically when she’s not even sure what she’s looking for?

When Two Workplace Connections Make Your Heart Race (09:40)

One listener’s dating groove hit an unexpected twist with two potential connections at work: one her age, one ten years younger.

After a playful arcade date with the younger colleague, she’s questioning if she should explore either connection. As Damona notes, “Dating people at work can be messy. If this is not a career job for you, I say go for it.”

When “Hi” Gets You Goodbye (16:28)

After relocating to a new city, one singles mixer attendee discovers that real-life dating might be taking cues from dating apps – and not in a good way. 

“It’s like people are swiping in real life now,” he shares. “No one takes the time to get to know me before judging what they see.” Is there still hope for those seeking deeper connections in our snap-judgment world?

Making Space for Love While Juggling Life (23:55)

When well-meaning friends suggest putting dating on hold during a busy season of life, one listener pushes back: “That advice makes me cry. I don’t want to stop trying. I’m ready to not be alone.” 

Can you pursue partnership while balancing the demands of single parenthood and family caregiving?

When Twin Bonds Test Relationship Boundaries (34:08)

After investing four years in her relationship, one woman faces a difficult reality about her twin partner. 

Despite owning a house with his brother and living together for decades, he kept promising “if it was the right woman” things would change. “It was one of the most heartbreaking situations I’ve been in,” she shares, discovering that some bonds – especially between twins – might be unbreakable.

How To Be Dateable & Rarely Into Anyone

Dating can be tough these days, even for our regular Dates & Mates listeners who are putting in the work to date with intention. 

Many of us grew up in the Disney Prince and Princess era, absorbing these fairy tales about love at first sight and happily ever after. But as adults, we have had to unlearn those stories and redefine what love looks like in the real world. 

The good news? Today’s singles are stepping onto a new path, one of authenticity and intentionality in dating.

This week, we’re talking with Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu about their brand new book “How to Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love.” They share practical strategies that help us date smarter and connect deeper.

(2:03) From First Date Horror Stories to Dating’s Dynamic Duo

When Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu met in San Francisco, neither had figured dating out. 

Together, Yue, a former dating coach who specialized in helping clients “trick” people into liking them, and Julie, with her background in human-centered design, realized none of the old rules worked anymore.

Now, after a decade of hosting the Dateable podcast and launching their dating experiment show Exit Interview, they’ve interviewed thousands of daters and uncovered the truth about modern love. 

In their new book “How to Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love,” they share what really works (and what definitely doesn’t) in today’s dating landscape.

The Hidden Reason Modern Dating Feels Impossible (4:05) 

“Back in the day, people dated within their network. They formed organic connections. 

They didn’t have to win people over because they saw these people over and over again,” Yue revealed, highlighting why today’s expanded dating pools create unique challenges.

The conversation explored how dating has evolved from organic community connections to convincing strangers of our worth. While dating apps have expanded our options, they’ve also created new hurdles in our search for authentic connection – and understanding these dynamics is the first step to mastering them.

The Dating Personality Test That Changes Everything (15:38) 

Julie opened up about her own dating patterns as a Dreamer-Achiever type, sharing how it kept her in a two-year situationship: “I would give people the sixth chance… I would think something was more than it was because I was in a fantasy of what I wanted from someone.”

Their five archetypes – the Achiever, Dreamer, Energizer, Maverick, and Thinker – reveal the hidden patterns in our dating lives. 

Through personal stories and real examples, Julie and Yue demonstrate how understanding your type helps you leverage your strengths while spotting potential pitfalls.

The Sunday Dating Rule That Will Save Your Sanity (30:36) 

Though she is partnered now, Julie’s dating app strategy sparked an “aha” moment in the studio – she only logged in on Sundays, the highest traffic day, with notifications turned off. This simple shift transformed her experience from exhausting to energizing.

The conversation dove into why treating dating apps like a full-time job backfires and how setting clear boundaries around your dating energy creates space for genuine connection. 

The Million Dollar Dating Question No One’s Asking (42:49) 

When Julie and Yue introduced their Dating North Star concept, it completely shifted how we think about dating goals. 

Instead of generic aims like “finding a relationship” or “not being lonely,” they dig deeper into what actually drives our desire for partnership.

Through fascinating examples from their research and podcast interviews, they reveal how getting crystal clear on your true dating motivation changes everything about how you approach finding love.

Connect with Julie & Yue:

(41:04) Dear Damona: When the Spark Feels Lost

A listener struggles to find attraction after breaking free from emotionally unavailable partners. Damona shares insights on rewiring attraction patterns and why taking it slow might be the key to finding lasting chemistry.

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

When You Get Dumped & Matches on Mute

January may be known as “divorce month,” but let’s be honest – no matter how common breakups are, they never feel common. They’re confusing, painful, and can feel downright debilitating. 

This week’s guests, mother-daughter duo, Suzy Hopkins and Hallie Bateman, take on heartbreak in a refreshing and real way, sharing the insights within their newly published graphic novel “What to Do When You Get Dumped”. Together they share their raw and relatable guide to navigating one of life’s toughest transitions.

Join us for their journey from heartbreak to healing, exploring everything from giving yourself permission to feel your feelings to finally letting go of what’s holding you back. If you’re navigating the end of a relationship (or know someone who is), this episode is your roadmap and reminder that healing is possible – and happiness is waiting on the other side.

Plus, stay tuned for this week’s Dear Damona, where we tackle a common dating app frustration: why do matches like your profile but never write?

(1:06) “My Husband Left Me During Our Book Tour” 

Suzy Hopkins is a former newspaper reporter and magazine publisher and co-author of “What to Do When I’m Gone.” Her daughter, Hallie Bateman, is a writer and illustrator whose work has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times Magazine, The Owl, and many others. 

Together, they’ve created “What to Do When You Get Dumped,” a graphic novel guide to navigating one of life’s toughest transitions. The inspiration? Suzy’s own experience of having her husband of 30 years leave her for an old flame just as Suzy and Hallie were about to begin a book tour for their previous work.

When Your Ex Becomes a Stranger (34:07) 

The moment everything changes isn’t just about losing a partner; it’s about losing a language. 

After 30 years of marriage, Suzy found herself unable to speak to her husband as the person she’d known for three decades. “The minute he told me…I could no longer talk to him as my husband. There was a third person in the room at all times, even though she wasn’t physically there.” 

She reveals how this presence transformed their relationship overnight, and shares her unexpected method for maintaining sanity.

Skip the Forgiveness, Find Your Peace (21:03) 

Think you need to forgive to move forward? Think again. 

While wrestling with the end of her marriage, Suzy discovered that the common advice about forgiveness wasn’t serving her healing. Through tears and rewrites, mother and daughter unpack why the pressure to forgive can sometimes do more harm than good. 

They offer a revolutionary perspective on moving forward that doesn’t require you to make peace with what happened – just peace with yourself.

That Restaurant Doesn’t Belong to Your Ex (28:14) 

Your favorite places don’t have to be casualties of your breakup. When Hallie spotted her mom staring up at a meaningful Berkeley hotel, she sparked a conversation about reclaiming spaces from painful memories.

 “That old memory becomes a lot smaller,” Hallie explains, “and I think the story of that place…hopefully becomes the memory that’s in the foreground.” 

Together, they explore why avoiding these places only gives more power to the past and share their creative strategy for transforming old haunts into new havens.

The Two-Hour Healing Plan (38:50) 

Forget about “getting back out there” – sometimes victory is just making it through the next 120 minutes. Through counseling and small acts of survival, Suzy discovered that healing doesn’t happen on Instagram’s timeline. 

She shares how accepting the glacial pace of recovery actually helped her heal faster and why counting the days (all 1,582 of them) became an unexpected source of strength. 

The mother-daughter duo offers a refreshing take on moving forward that doesn’t require you to have it all figured out – just the next tiny step.

Connect with Suzy & Hallie:

(41:04) Dear Damona

“Hi Damona, my question is – how come guys on Hinge like my profile but never send a message? It’s happening more than usual lately and feels like it’s becoming the new Bumble.”

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Getting It Right This Time & Paying For Premium

We all want to believe in the magic of love. We’ve seen the romcoms and fairy tales, and we crave our own meet-cute. But beyond those fairytales and meet-cutes lies a deeper understanding of connection that could forever transform anyone’s love life.

Orna and Matthew Walters joined us this week to share the knowledge and insights from their new book “Getting it Right This Time: Break Free from Your Hidden Blocks to Find Lasting Love.”

You’ll learn about your love imprint, your pre-wired programming that might be standing in your way when it comes to love, and what you can do to gain back your power and get yourself back on track.

In our Dear Damona segment we tackle choosing the right dating app premium subscription – because let’s face it, dating apps are just tools, and you need to know how to use them effectively!

(3:13) From Dating Disasters to Love Experts: Meet Orna and Matthew Walters 

The founders of Creating Love on Purpose bring their transformative approach to dating to their new book “Getting It Right This Time.” 

Featured on Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker and celebrating their fifth appearance on Dates & Mates, they’ve helped thousands worldwide break free from toxic patterns and find lasting love.

Why Your Brain Keeps Choosing the Wrong Partners (14:32) 

Get ready for a mind-blowing revelation about attraction that will transform how you date forever. 

Learn why that familiar “spark” might actually be your biggest red flag, and discover how to rewire your love GPS for healthier connections.

Stop Eating Raw Relationship Turkey (19:50) 

Why rushing into commitment before really knowing someone is like serving undercooked poultry – and how to know when a relationship is actually ready for the next level.

This fresh perspective will save you from another half-baked situationship.

Childhood Stories That Shape Your Love Life (31:04) 

Think your “perfect” upbringing means you’re immune to relationship struggles? 

Matthew’s surprising journey from avoidant dater to conscious partner will make you rethink everything you believe about relationship readiness.

The Three-Part Path to Love (45:40)

A revealing look at why rushing to manifest your perfect partner without doing the inner work first is a recipe for disappointment. 

The Walters break down their proven three-step approach: awareness, transformation, and, only then, manifestation. This groundbreaking framework explains why some people stay stuck while others find lasting love.

Connect with Orna and Matthew:

(51:31) Dear Damona: Finding Love in Smaller Cities

A listener from Bozeman, Montana, struggles with limited dating options in her area. 

Damona breaks down which dating apps work best for different locations and shares strategies for expanding your dating pool without compromising on distance preferences.

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

2025 Love Astrology & Lovebombing Bombshell

In this week’s episode, we’re gazing upward and inward as we explore how the stars and planets can guide your love life through the ancient wisdom of Vedic astrology.

Astrology isn’t just about your daily horoscope – it’s about uncovering patterns, timing, and compatibility that can help you make sense of your love life and plan for the future.

Lucky for us, this week’s episode brings back Vedic astrologer Carol Allen, who returns, as she does every January, to share how this sacred practice can illuminate your path to love. This week, she brings her profound insights on relationship timing, compatibility, and the cosmic forecast for 2025.

Plus, stick around for our Dear Damona segment, where we tackle love bombing on dating apps.

(3:13) The Stargazer Who’s Read Over 30,000 Love Charts

Since she started practicing Vedic astrology 34 years ago, Carol Allen has become the go-to love forecast expert for celebrities and everyday romantics alike. 

Featured everywhere from E! to Doctor Drew’s Life Changers, she’s helped thousands understand their cosmic love blueprint through her bestselling book “Love is in the Stars: The Wise Woman’s Astrological Guide to Men.” Now she’s back with an exclusive peek at what the stars have in store for your love life in 2025.

The Golden Windows for Love in 2025 (11:23) 

Circle these dates in your calendar immediately! 

Venus, the planet of love and romance, is serving up some seriously magical moments in 2025. “During these times, Venus is really beautiful and happy,” Carol reveals. “For all of us, we’re going to feel the good mojo in some way.” 

From February’s cosmic love fest to November’s partnership potential, these are the periods when the stars are practically pushing you toward romance.

Why Your Ex Might Come Knocking (And Why That Could Be a Good Thing)  (21:20) 

Remember that almost-relationship that fizzled out? There might be a cosmic reason to give it another shot.

“Venus retrograde is amazing for revisiting unfinished connections or people from the past,” Carol shares. This rare planetary dance from March 3rd to April 13th could reignite old flames or deepen current bonds in ways you never expected.

The Hidden Opportunities in Mercury Retrograde (28:40) 

Think Mercury retrograde is just about communication chaos? Think again. 

Carol reveals how to transform these typically turbulent times into opportunities for deeper connection. With three retrogrades in 2025, her practical wisdom will help you navigate the cosmic weather with confidence.

The Celebrity Love-Match Secret You Need to Know (35:07)

Ever wonder why Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce clicked so quickly? Or how is it that Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s power couple status seems to be written in the stars? 

Using her genius technique for reading cosmic compatibility,  Carol shows how understanding your own celestial blueprint could be the key to finding your perfect match.

Connect with Carol:

(00:47:59) Dear Damona: When Love Bombing Strikes

A listener asks about handling love bombing on dating apps – when someone showers you with attention and affection, only to suddenly disappear. 

Damona breaks down this modern dating phenomenon and shares strategies for protecting yourself while staying open to genuine connection.

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!