Tag Archive for: happy relationship

12 Unique Holiday Date Ideas That’ll Spark Connection

The holidays are a magical time to connect, share laughs, and create memories. Whether it’s a first date or rekindling old flames, finding unique date ideas can make all the difference. We’ve put together creative, meaningful, and fun holiday experiences to impress and build a genuine bond.

1. Holiday Lights Walk

Bundle up, grab some hot cocoa, and take a stroll through a holiday lights display. Many neighborhoods or city parks transform into winter wonderlands this time of year. Walking side-by-side gives you time to talk, while the festive lights create the perfect atmosphere.

2. Gingerbread House Building

Get hands-on with a little friendly competition. Buy a gingerbread house kit or make your own components if you’re feeling ambitious. Decorating together sparks creativity and allows for plenty of laughs when things don’t go as planned. Bonus: you can enjoy some sweet treats along the way.

3. Holiday Market Stroll

Wander through a local holiday market or craft fair. The cozy booths, festive music, and hot drinks create a cheerful vibe. You can shop for small gifts or trinkets while sharing stories about favorite holiday traditions.

4. Ice Skating Adventure

Whether you’re a seasoned skater or a total beginner, an ice-skating outing is charming and fun. Holding hands while gliding—or wobbling—across the ice naturally builds a connection. Follow it up with warm drinks at a nearby café.

5. Home Movie Night with Holiday Classics

Transform your living room into a holiday theater. Pick classic holiday movies, gather soft blankets, and enjoy popcorn or seasonal snacks. This cozy option lets you relax without the distractions of a crowded theater.

6. Charity Volunteering Together

Spread holiday cheer by giving back. Sign up to serve meals at a shelter, host a toy drive, or pack care packages together. You’ll connect on a deeper level through shared purpose and compassion. Plus, it feels great to help others during the season.

7. Holiday-Themed Escape Room

If you both enjoy puzzles, this is a fun way to test your teamwork. Many escape rooms offer holiday-themed challenges this time of year. Working side-by-side to “escape” gives you insight into how the other person communicates and thinks.

8. Wine Tasting with Seasonal Pairings

Visit a local winery or wine bar offering seasonal tasting menus. Savoring wines paired with holiday snacks or desserts sets the mood. You can chat about your preferences and learn something new together in a relaxed, cozy setting.

9. Christmas Tree Farm Outing

Head to a local Christmas tree farm to pick out a tree (if they need one) or just enjoy the atmosphere. Roam under the evergreens together, sip apple cider, and maybe even snap a photo or two. It’s an easy way to enjoy classic holiday charm.

10. Cooking a Festive Meal Together

Skip the crowded restaurants and plan a holiday cooking night at home. Choose fun, festive recipes—like roasted veggies, spiced cookies, or mulled wine. Cooking together is an intimate way to bond, share laughs over mishaps, and enjoy a homemade meal.

11. Winter Hike with Scenic Views

Not all holiday dates need to be indoors. If you both enjoy nature, bundle up for a winter hike. Many trails are quieter this time of year, and snow-dusted landscapes can feel almost magical. Pack a thermos with warm drinks to share at the summit.

12. Festive DIY Ornament Crafting

Bring out your creative sides by making holiday ornaments together. Whether simple or elaborate, it’s an activity that encourages laughter and teamwork. You’ll leave with mementos you can both cherish, no matter where the relationship leads.

Conclusion

Holiday dates don’t need to be complicated or expensive to be special. By focusing on shared activities, creativity, and the season’s warmth, you’ll leave a lasting impression. Whether skating under twinkling lights or crafting ornaments, these unique holiday ideas go beyond the ordinary and help build genuine connections. Get out there, have fun, and let the holiday magic work its charm.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker & Signs of Interest

“When will I know they’re the one?” It’s the question that’s launched a thousand rom-coms and kept countless singles tossing and turning at night. Along with its equally anxiety-inducing cousins: “What if I’m missing the red flags?” and “Is it too soon to get physical?”

Lucky for us, this week’s episode brings back a true love expert who’s helped thousands find their perfect match. Celebrity matchmaker Aleeza Ben Shalom steps away from her starring role on Netflix’s Jewish Matchmaking to share some serious advice about modern dating – including some unconventional wisdom from her new book “Matchmaker, Matchmaker: Find Me a Love That Lasts.”

Ready to challenge everything you think you know about finding lasting love? Aleeza’s got some surprising insights that might just revolutionize your dating game. Plus, stick around for our Dear Damona segment where we decode the signs that someone’s truly interested in you and talk about dating a co-worker.

(2:14) Meet Aleeza Ben Shalom

Since her last appearance on Dates & Mates, Aleeza Ben Shalom has taken the matchmaking world by storm. 

As the star of Netflix’s Jewish Matchmaking and author of “Matchmaker, Matchmaker: Find Me a Love That Lasts,” she’s connected with over 20,000 people worldwide, from Australia to Argentina, sharing her unique approach to finding lasting love.

Why You Should Date Them Till You Hate Them  (4:02) 

Don’t let first impressions fool you! Aleeza’s famous dating philosophy challenges our quick-judgment culture. 

That little thing bothering you on date one might be meaningless compared to the amazing connection you could discover by date five. 

Aleeza explains when to keep going and when it’s truly time to say goodbye.

The Love-Building Power of Keeping Your Hands to Yourself  (14:42) 

Get ready for Aleeza’s most controversial rule: the “Five Date Challenge” of no physical contact. 

This isn’t just about restraint – it’s about building magnetic attraction and genuine connection. 

She reveals why breaking the touch barrier too soon might be sabotaging your chances at lasting love.

The Secret Mathematical Formula for Relationship Success (21:06) 

Love isn’t all mystery and magic – sometimes it’s about doing the math. 

Aleeza breaks down why shared Netflix preferences matter less than shared values, and explains her fascinating formula for calculating true compatibility. 

Spoiler alert: you need at least 70% alignment in the areas that really count.

 

Dating By Numbers: The 5-5-5 Rule That Changes Everything (31:04) 

Time to revolutionize your dating strategy with Aleeza’s game-changing framework: five dates, five hours max per date, and never more than five days between meetings. 

This isn’t about playing games – it’s about building unstoppable momentum toward real connection.

Connect with Aleeza:

(40:20)  Dear Damona: Dating at Work & Reading the Signs of True Interest

Instagram DM from Mor:

I work at a high tech company and there’s a colleague I’m interested in, but I’m not sure if he feels the same way. I’d like to explore how to approach this in a way that would help me understand if he’s interested, and possibly suggest meeting up if it feels right. 

Second, there’s a guy I see sometimes at the office gym. He seems much younger than me, around 27 or 28, and he used to glance my way quite often, but lately not as much. I’m wondering if I should do something to see if there’s potential there, or if I’m just imagining things. How could I better understand if someone is interested in me?

 I’d really appreciate your guidance on both situations.

Do you have questions? Damona has the answers! Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

The Great Dating Power Shift: Who Really Makes the Rules Now?

Dating today looks different than it did just a few decades ago. Gender roles, once rigid and predictable, are now more fluid and open to interpretation. 

As traditional expectations shift, single women aged 20-45 are navigating these evolving dynamics in their search for love. 

Let’s look at how gender roles play out in modern dating and what it means for women stepping into the dating world in an era that values balance and equality.

Are Traditional Gender Roles Still Relevant?

Some of us wonder if traditional gender roles still hold sway in a world that champions individuality. In past decades, men were typically expected to make the first move, pay for dates, and take on the role of the protector. Meanwhile, women were often seen as the nurturers, the ones to be “wooed.”

Fast forward to today, and we’re seeing more of a mixed approach. Many Gen Z daters are grappling with questions like, “Who should pay on the first date?” While some believe men should always foot the bill, others argue for the importance of sharing financial responsibility.

But here’s the truth, as noted in “F the Fairy Tale”: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, dating should feel like a dance, not a tug-of-war. Reevaluate outdated scripts and embrace authenticity in relationships.

The First Move: Who Makes It?

A growing number of women feel empowered to take the lead when it comes to asking someone out. For some, it’s a clear rejection of old-school norms. However, others still appreciate when men initiate—the key is understanding and respecting each person’s individual preferences.

We also see this reflected on dating apps. Bumble initially launched as the app where women make the first move and although they have recently rolled that back and allow anyone to initiate a chat after matching, it caused us to reevaluate antiquated rules about who makes the first move. 

In fact, OkCupid data revealed that conversations lasted twice as long when women messaged first so there are tangible benefits behind shaking up gender rules. Ultimately, what we’re striving for is balance—a dynamic where both partners feel equally valued and invested.

Sharing or Splitting Responsibilities?

The topic of finances in dating often sparks debate. Should men continue paying for most dates, or should we share the cost? Surveys suggest opinions are divided. Some women prefer traditional chivalry and view it as a sign of effort, while others see shared expenses as reflective of an egalitarian partnership.

Cultural expectations influence these choices, too. For example, studies highlight how some Australian women still lean toward traditional dating scripts. Their preference often aligns with broader societal values they grew up with.

In contrast, many women today are financially independent and don’t feel comfortable allowing someone else to always pay. Splitting helps them maintain autonomy and signals respect for mutual effort.

We also hear confusion from LGBTQ daters around bill-splitting. Overall, for daters of all genders, it seems that the fairest thing is for the person who asked to offer to pay or to “go dutch.”

Shifting Expectations Around Masculinity

One of the most intriguing currentdating trends focuses on reimagining masculinity. Articles discuss “open-hearted masculinity,” which redefines male roles in relationships. The focus shifts from dominance to emotional vulnerability, recognizing that closeness and trust build lasting connections.

Women are seeking men who listen, communicate openly, and show emotional awareness. These modern “masculine traits” challenge outdated gender stereotypes, helping couples create healthier dynamics.

Are We Doing Things “Right”?

It’s easy to feel unsure about where we stand when navigating updated relationship dynamics. One partner might prefer traditional gestures, while the other sees them as outdated. This clash of expectations can lead to misunderstandings.

So, how do we navigate these issues? Simple—communication. Talk openly about what makes each of you comfortable. Are thoughtful actions, like opening doors, appreciated or unnecessary? Is it important that one person leads, or does balance feel better? When both partners listen, they’re more likely to find common ground.

The Bottom Line on Gender Roles in Dating

The days of strict gender roles in dating are fading, but that doesn’t mean they’re gone entirely. Instead, modern dating sees a fusion of old and new. Some people still hold on to classic ideas, while others embrace flexibility.

Ultimately, finding love requires authenticity. Be upfront about what feels natural to you. Whether you enjoy chivalry or prefer splitting the check, there’s no wrong way—just what works best in your relationship.

Stop striving for what’s ‘normal.’ Start building the love story that works for you.

Dating is less about conforming to rules and more about creating mutual happiness. Instead of worrying whether you’re doing it “right,” focus on what feels genuine. With communication, respect, and balance, modern relationships can surpass outdated molds—and lead us to meaningful connections.

 

Dear Damona: Got Ghosted & Romance Reimbursement

The holidays are arriving, bringing cozy vibes, family gatherings, and those inevitable dating questions. 

Whether you’re bracing for Aunty Sally’s “Why are you still single?” or wondering if you should bring your new fling to the holiday party, this week’s Dear Damona episode is here to help make your season merry, bright, and drama-free.

(00:25) Dear Damona 

Do you have questions? Damona has the answers! Submit your dating and relationship questions on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers in a future episode!

When Chemistry Goes Cold (02:01)

After reading “F the Fairy Tale,” Annie challenged her usual dating patterns and found herself in an emotionally fulfilling relationship. But despite having what she calls “the best boyfriend she’s ever had,” something crucial is missing. 

“He is a very good man and probably the best boyfriend I’ve ever had…but after seven months, I should really be feeling something physical, and there is not. We barely ever even kiss.”

The Silent Treatment Strikes at Four Months (07:58) 

When carefully planned Monday meetups suddenly turn into radio silence, one NYC dater finds himself ghosted after building what seemed like a solid connection. 

“We’ve gotten close and we’ve taken a vacation together, spent multiple nights together…I’ve texted and called twice. No response. Clearly, there’s wrongdoing on both sides, but I can’t be wrong in thinking – Ghosting? You ghosted me after four months?”

Taking the Plunge in the Triathlon Club (16:24)

The endorphins are flowing, and the singles are plentiful, but one athlete wonders if mixing romance with her training group could lead to a winning combination or a workout gone wrong. 

“There are a lot of singles in this club, but no one seems to be asking people out…If there are guys in the group I’m interested in, how can I go about breaking the ice?”

When Gender Roles Crash the Perfect Date (23:55) 

Instant connection…flowing conversation…everything seemed perfect – until a dinner reservation revealed a clash of values that had one dater questioning the whole relationship.

 “She clarified that a man should pay for the dates in the early stages of dating because that’s a man’s job. This bugged me. I like balance in any relationship…That fundamental value difference never left my head.”

Lauren Francis and Damona Hoffman on Dates & Mates podcast to discuss first dates and love

First Date Debate & Commitment Phobe

That pivotal first date – it’s so much more than just a casual hang or nice dinner (actually, skip the dinner date – we’ll tell you why). 

This week, we explore those nerve-wracking moments that could be the portal to the next entire phase of your life. After all, you might be sitting across from someone who’ll one day share your future.

But even when first dates don’t end in sparks, they shape our dating journey and teach us about ourselves. And here’s the good news – with the right preparation, those first-date jitters can transform into pure magic.

Love and relationship expert Lauren Frances joins Damona to reveal when a first date really begins (hint: it’s not when you think) and how to gracefully wrap one up when it’s just not clicking.

Plus, in our Dear Damona segment, we tackle this week’s question: “Everything is going great with my match, but I am still struggling with the idea of commitment.”

(2:31) Meet Lauren Frances

Author of the internationally acclaimed bestseller “Dating, Mating and Manhandling: The Ornithological Guide to Men,” Lauren’s expert advice has graced the screens of Bravo, Extra, VH1, Oxygen, NBC, KTLA, and Fox. 

Through her signature “Romance Camps” and Love Magnet Makeovers, she’s helped countless clients transform their dating lives.

lauren frances and damona hoffman talk first dates and love on the Dates & Mates Podcast

Your First Date Starts Before You Meet (5:53) 

Think your first date begins when you meet for drinks? Think again! 

Lauren reveals why your initial text exchange might be more crucial than you realize, and the surprising reason she insists all her clients make one specific move before meeting in person.

The Enthusiasm Gap: Why You’re Not Getting Second Dates (20:37) 

“A man that’s trying to impress you is impressed with you. A man that’s not trying to impress you is not very impressed with you.” 

Lauren reveals why playing it too cool might be freezing your dating prospects. 

Plus, learn the simple adjustment that helped one of her clients find her future husband on her very next date.

Hotel Lobbies vs. Starbucks: Location Matters (12:18) 

Choosing the right venue could make or break your first impression on a date.

Lauren and Damona break down which date spots send the right signals and which ones might be sabotaging your romance before it begins

Ghost-Proofing Your Love Life (28:59) 

“You are a romantic lifestyle brand, whether you know it or not.” 

Lauren explains why modern dating is like going viral on TikTok – it’s all about creating that “stickiness” factor that makes people want to stay connected. 

Her strategies for standing out in the endless options of today’s dating scene will change how you think about making meaningful connections.

Connect with Lauren:

(40:20) Dear Damona, Help Me!

Email from Anonymous:

Hi Damona, I love your podcast and your book. I’ve used your book, F the Fairy Tale, as a framework for my dating process. Thank you so much. 

All right, so here’s a question. While the early stages of dating go really well for me when something starts to become a real potential relationship, it gets kind of scary, and I have a mini freak-out. I noticed a lot of the advice you provide centers around the early stages and first dates. Could you please offer some advice for those in the later stages of the process? What if someone meets all of our criteria and we get along well, but we’re feeling overwhelmed with fear and anxiety?

After applying Damona’s framework for a couple of months, I ended up with someone who fits all three of my criteria and does not have my one deal breaker. We get along great, and things are going well. We’ve been seeing each other about twice a week for a couple of months now, but I’m still having trouble with the idea of committing and entering a serious relationship, though that is what I want. Funnily enough, I now feel much more lost without a roadmap now that I’m getting the thing I wanted.

Do you have questions? Damona has the answers! Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

single and sitting around the thanksgiving dinner table being asked if they are single.

Single for the Holidays? Here’s How to Handle Nosy Family Questions

Holidays can be heartwarming—gathered around the table, enjoying laughs, and sharing stories. But for singles, they can also bring relentless questioning.

“Why are you still single?” or “Are you dating anyone?” suddenly become the headliners of family conversations. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone in dreading that annual pressure.

Let’s unpack how to navigate these moments with grace, humor, and confidence.

Understanding Family Dynamics

Whether it’s your chatty aunt or a curious cousin, families love updates. Often, this stems from a genuine concern or love for you.

However, the constant focus on your relationship status can feel isolating if you’re single. Families tend to project their views about milestones—relationships, marriage, kids—onto younger generations.

It’s less about personal attacks and more about their expectations of “what’s next” for you. But that doesn’t make it any easier to sit through.

Common Questions You Might Hear

Here’s a sneak peek at the greatest hits you might hear this holiday season:

  • “Why are you still single?”: Often said as though your relationship status is a puzzle to solve.
  • “Have you tried dating apps?”: As if they’ve cracked modern romance.
  • “Don’t you want kids?”: A question that could not feel more personal.
  • “I know someone perfect for you!”: Cue the awkward blind-date matchmaking.

No matter the intent, these phrases can feel invasive.

The Pressure of Expectations

Family dynamics create moments where expectations rise like an invisible fog.

For singles, there’s often the unspoken assumption that the ultimate life goal is finding a partner. If you’re content in your singlehood, it might feel invalidated by repeated questioning.

The result? Stress, self-doubt, or frustration by the time dessert is served. Understanding this dynamic can help you take a compassionate approach—even as you find strategies to manage the discomfort.

Coping Strategies for Singles

Here are ways to shield your peace when conversations about your singlehood arise.

Prepare Your Responses

Having a response ready makes unexpected questions much less awkward. Use humor, honesty, or even deflection, depending on the mood:

Humor: “I figured I’d save room at the table for extra pie instead of a partner.”

Honest but firm: “I’m happy where I am right now—thanks for asking.”

Playful: “Still single! Any takers here know Prince Harry’s backup cousin?”

Practice these responses ahead of time to deliver them calmly and with a smile.

Shift the Focus

When conversations veer into uncomfortable territory, subtly change the topic. Ask about their hobbies, interests, or holiday plans. It’s easier to dodge questions when you steer the conversation elsewhere. For example:

“Enough about me! How’s your new project going?”

“Speaking of relationships, how did you and Uncle Bob first meet?”

Redirecting the spotlight can take the pressure off you.

Practice Self-Care

Family gatherings can be draining, so prioritize checking in with yourself.

Whether it’s stepping outside for fresh air or finding a quiet corner for a moment to breathe, don’t underestimate the power of small breaks.

If staying overnight, bring comforting items like a book or playlist to unwind.

Self-care also means knowing when to say no—don’t overextend yourself for anyone’s expectations.

Finding Joy in Being Single

The holidays are an excellent time to celebrate where you are in life—single, dating, or otherwise.

Celebrating Independence

Being single means ultimate flexibility. You control your decisions, your time, and how you enjoy the season.

Want to binge a feel-good movie marathon? Go for it. Interested in splurging on a gift for yourself? You deserve it.

Embrace your freedom during the holidays rather than feeling pressured by societal norms.

Creating Your Own Traditions

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, create traditions that celebrate you.

Cook your favorite festive meal, decorate your space exactly how you want, or host a “Friendsmas” with other singles.

These personalized traditions can make the holiday season feel refreshing and rewarding.

When to Seek Support

If holiday stress feels overwhelming, seeking support can help.

Building a Support Network

Friends and like-minded communities can offer a buffer. Some friends may also struggle with similar family conversations, so lean on each other.

Plan outings or virtual catch-ups between holiday gatherings to decompress and share laughs.

Professional Help

If the pressure and comments about your singlehood feel too heavy, consider speaking with a therapist. They can provide tools to manage stress, set boundaries, or respond to tough conversations.

Find Your Joy!

The holidays aren’t just about family traditions—they’re a reminder to find joy, regardless of your relationship status.

By preparing responses, shifting the focus, and embracing your independence, you can transform uncomfortable moments into opportunities for self-assurance.

Stay confident, surround yourself with supportive people, and enjoy the season exactly as you are: whole, complete, and thriving.

Attachment Styles Revisited & Married Too Young

Feeling like your emotional baggage is weighing down your love life? 

We’ve all got some baggage weighing us down when it comes to dating – from stylish little clutches to oversized trunks stuffed with past experiences. While some of us try to sneak our baggage through security unnoticed, the truth is: at some point in every relationship, we’ll need to open those bags and sort through what’s inside.

Join us for an eye-opening conversation with renowned psychologist Dr. Alfiee as we unpack the complexities of modern dating and mental health. Dr. Alfiee shares game-changing perspectives that will transform how you think about emotional wellness in dating. (She even had Damona tearing up – but don’t worry, the mascara stayed intact!)

Then, stay tuned for this week’s Dear Damona, where we help a listener navigate the dating scene after a marriage that started too young and lasted too long. Is it ever too late for a fresh start? (Spoiler alert: absolutely not!)

(2:10) Meet Dr. Alfiee

Meet this week’s guest: Dr. Alfiee Breland-Noble, a brilliant psychologist and scientist whose work is transforming mental health care through her nonprofit, the AAKOMA Project.

You might know her voice from The Washington Post, CNN, The New York Times, or her insightful podcast “Couched in Color.”

But what makes her perfect for our conversation? She brings a genuine, clear-eyed perspective to mental health, culture, and relationships that will change how you think about your own emotional wellness journey.

Stop Looking for Your Other Half (5:13)

Dr. Alfiee challenges a common misconception in dating: the idea that two halves make a whole. 

“You don’t want half a partner,” she explains. “You want two whole partners coming together to make a whole relationship.” 

This means showing up as your complete self rather than expecting someone else to complete you.

Are You Really “Avoidant” – or Just Adapting? (17:52)

While attachment styles are trending in dating advice, Dr. Alfiee offers a fresh perspective: our patterns aren’t just shaped by our parents but by our entire community – including extended family, cultural background, and early experiences.

What might look like “avoidant” behavior could actually be a healthy adaptation to specific cultural or family dynamics.

The Mental Health Conversation: When and How? (21:20)

When it comes to dating someone managing their mental health, Dr. Alfiee emphasizes looking at the whole picture.

If someone trusts you enough to share their mental health journey, that’s often a sign of a strong foundation. 

The key isn’t the diagnosis – it’s how they manage it.

Moving Your Trauma to the Top Shelf (34:48)

Dr. Alfiee shares a powerful metaphor for healing: imagine your trauma as a book on a shelf. 

At first, it’s on the bottom shelf, easily within reach. As you heal, that book moves higher and higher. 

While the book never disappears, it becomes less accessible – you’re in control of when you take it down.

Dr. Alfiee’s Real Talk

  • Dating isn’t easy, no matter what social media tells you.
  • You can’t skip the self-work and expect relationship success.
  • Trust your gut – but make sure you’ve done the work to understand what your gut is really telling you.

Connect with Dr. Alfiee:

(41:04) Dear Damona, Help Me!

 An email from a listener named Rebecca:

Dear Damona, 2024 has been the year of me. I want to make a purposeful decision about finding a relationship. I’m about to finish your newest book, so I’m off to a great start.

I want to include dating apps and organic meetings in my plan. However, I really have no idea where a 60-ish guy hangs out. Suggestions? I married too young and stayed too long, so I’m really out of the loop. Bars, cooking classes, the local YMCA? Thanks. Can’t wait to hear back from you.

Do you have questions? Damona has the answers! Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Dear Damona: Have Match, Won’t Travel & Disappearing Profiles

Fall is in full swing, cuffing season is here, and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Whether you’re navigating long-distance connections, staying safe while online dating, or figuring out how to take your dating game to the next level, this week’s Dear Damona episode has you covered.

We’re dedicating the whole show to your most pressing dating dilemmas and relationship questions as we head into the holiday season. From timing intimacy to challenging gender roles, we’re diving deep into the questions that matter most to you.

(00:25) Dear Damona 

Do you have questions? Damona has the answers! Submit your dating and relationship questions on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers in a future episode!

Love Beyond Borders (1:43)

Adrian’s dating app experience has been surprisingly wonderful – except for one geographic challenge that keeps getting in the way. 

“Dating sites in the last two years have been wonderful – I’ve made friends, had exciting dates, and even a relationship for a couple of years. The dilemma for me has been my location and the willingness of men to travel. I’m willing to travel to meet them, but of course, that can be tricky. Is there a specific dating site that I should use for this situation?”

When Digital Footprints Fade (10:55)

Sue’s dating detective work uncovered something fishy – between mysteriously disappearing profiles and stories that don’t quite add up, she’s stumbled into a digital dating mystery that’ll make you think twice about your next match. 

She asks: “Dear Damona, recently it seems that a few of the men I’ve met online dating on Bumble have removed their online profiles as soon as we share phone numbers. Do you have any data or insights about this behavior?” Sue shares concerning details about mismatched accents and overlapping life stories between matches that raised red flags.

The Perfect Moment (18:47)

When it comes to intimacy, timing is everything. But who decides when the clock strikes “right”?

This listener’s bedroom boundaries bring up the age-old question of when to take things to the next level.

Our anonymous listener asked, “Do you have a recommendation for when two people who have started dating can sleep together? Or what to say if my date proposes we sleep together and I feel it’s too soon?”

Rewriting the Dating Rulebook (24:39)

Ladies first? More like ladies waiting! 

Why are women still sitting around waiting for men to make the first move? Time to shake up those dusty dating rulebooks! 

Erin writes: “Do you know of any couples or of any relationships in which the woman asked the man out, or the woman was the initiator? It’s a follow-up to the point where you have encouraged women to ask men out. Some people like to think that the world is slowly changing; however, at the same time, a part of me doubts it, as in I just see it as men always being stuck with that gender role.”

 

The Knot’s News & Gift Glitch

What Singles REALLY Want in 2024!

Ever wonder what your potential dates are really looking for? Or if your relationship expectations match up with everyone else’s?

The Knot just released their 2024 Relationship and Intimacy study, revealing fascinating insights about how singles find love, what they’re actually looking for, and those persistent deal breakers that shape our dating decisions.

Get ready to decode modern romance with Esther Lee, deputy editor of The Knot. She’s breaking down the numbers on everything from meet-cutes to marriage, and some of these findings might surprise you!

Plus, don’t miss our Dear Damona segment, where we tackle an awkward gift-giving situation. When is it too soon for intimate presents? 

(1:34) Meet Esther Lee

Esther Lee is the deputy editor of The Knot, leading content on The Knot Wellness with a focus on financial, relationship, and mental well-being. 

She oversees The Knot’s travel vertical, including honeymoons, destination weddings, and bachelorette parties, along with overarching features and trends.

The Knot Esther Lee 2024 Relationship study with Damona Hoffman on Date & Mates podcast discussing relationship and dating trends

The Comfort Connection (05:13)

The Knot’s 2024 study challenges everything you thought you knew about attraction and chemistry. What tops the list of desirable qualities might surprise you – and it’s not what most dating coaches are teaching!

As Esther notes, “There has to be this openness and this lightness, almost like you’re showing up as yourself and being comfortable with who you are.” Find out why authenticity might be your best dating strategy.

Love Offline (17:52)

Dating apps aren’t the only path to partnership. 

The study reveals unexpected ways couples are meeting in 2024, including some surprising new trends in the gaming world.

Plus, discover why traditional meet-cutes might be making a comeback and how Gen Z is revolutionizing the dating scene.

Married Life Myths & Reality (21:20)

Think you know how marriage changes relationships? The study’s findings about intimacy patterns before and after marriage might change your mind.

Esther shares insights from a recently married team member who discovered unexpected shifts in their relationship dynamics post-wedding. 

Learn why “putting a ring on it” might transform more than just your legal status.

The Distance Dance (34:48)

When it comes to deal breakers, distance tops many singles’ lists. 

But what exactly counts as “long-distance”? For some New Yorkers, it’s crossing boroughs; for others, it’s crossing oceans.

Plus, discover the other relationship red flags that made the list and why they might matter more than you think.

Connect with Esther and The Knot:

(39:19) Dear Damona, Help Me!

Email from a listener named Cathy:

This is a little off the beaten path, but my 17-year-old grandson is dating a lovely young woman, and she recently had a birthday for a birthday gift. 

He bought her a Victoria’s Secret bra. She interpreted this as him wanting much more out of the relationship, and she promptly slapped him in his face and stormed off.

I gotta say, I love the gal’s chutzpah since there was certainly no ambiguity in her reaction. Any ideas on how he might navigate this precarious situation? 

Do you have questions? Damona has the answers! Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

 

Dating Horror Stories & The Flirt Coach

This Halloween, we’re embracing the ghosting, the ghouls, and the downright ridiculous tales of love gone wrong.

On Dates & Mates this week, we’re diving into our annual Halloween tradition with a collection of dating horror stories that will make you laugh, gasp, and hopefully help you to avoid your own awkward dates.

We’ve got five cringy  listener stories that prove sometimes the scariest part of dating isn’t the ghosting – it’s what happens when you actually meet! Plus, my guest  and I share our expert tips on how to avoid becoming the star of your own dating horror story! 

To help dissect these strange and unusual encounters and offer some love advice, we have Benjamin Camras, The Flirt Coach, joining us. 

So dim the lights (but skip the candy corn – we’ll die on this hill), and get ready for some haunting tales of dating gone wrong.

(1:54) Benjamin Camras, The Flirt Coach 

From self-described introvert to social media sensation, Benjamin Camras (who introduces himself proudly as “the gay Libra”) is spreading “BFE” (Big Flirt Energy) across the digital world. 

He hosts the Flirtations Flirtcast podcast and specializes in helping fellow introverts and the socially anxious find their flirting groove with more confidence, clarity, and fun.

Your Dating Horror Stories  (05:13) 

Join Damona and Benjamin as they dissect these strange tales:

  • Blindsided by a Blind Date (7:08) 

When Amanda finally decided to dive back into dating, she thought a simple movie date with Steve – an ex-military geek – would be a safe bet. 

  • The Vegetarian Variation (15:28)

When a late-night Tim Hortons run in Canada revealed an unexpected plot twist about dietary preferences, our listener learned that sometimes what you see isn’t exactly what you get. 

  • The Creepy Car Concert (19:48)

 What happens when you take a chance on an older, handsome suitor? Our listener found out the hard way that age doesn’t always equal maturity.

  • The Deskside Date (30:10) 

When Covid forced dating to go virtual, our listener dolled up with wine in hand for what she hoped would be a romantic Zoom connection. Instead, she found herself starring in an impromptu episode of “The Office.” 

  • The Freudian Movie Man (40:07) 

When a second date to see “Inside Out” turned inside-out, our listener found herself beside a man who came prepared with everything. 

Connect with Benjamin:

Dear Damona, Help Me!

Do you have questions? Damona has the answers! Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

 

Dating Anxiety & Financial Therapy

Money matters can make or break relationships, but they don’t have to be a source of stress.

Financial issues often top the list of relationship stressors, creating tension and misunderstandings between couples. But what if money could actually strengthen your bond instead of straining it?

This week on Dates & Mates, we’re flipping the script on financial conversations and exploring how they can build trust and improve communication with your partner.

Joining us is Erika Wasserman, known as “Your Financial Therapist” and one of only 70 certified financial therapists in the US. She’s here to help destigmatize money talk in relationships and offer insights for both couples and singles navigating the financial aspects of dating.

Plus, don’t miss our Dear Damona segment, where we tackle this tricky question: “I have social anxiety. Do I need to focus on making more friends before pursuing a romantic relationship?” Stick around for some surprising advice on balancing social and romantic pursuits.

(1:54) Erika Wasserman 

Erica Wasserman is the CEO of Your Financial Therapist. She’s the creator of the Let’s Talk Finances Financial Wellness Conversation Cards, which allows people to explore the topic of money with thought-provoking questions. 

She earned a Bachelor of Business Administration degree from the University of Florida and a graduate certificate in financial therapy from Kansas State University, making her one of only 70 certified financial therapists here in the country.

Show Me the Money Talk (05:13)

Cha-ching! Is that the sound of love or your piggy bank breaking? Financial counselor Erika Wasserman says it could be both – in a good way!

She flips the script on money talks, turning budget battles into bonding sessions. Plus, she’s got the lowdown on navigating those awkward “who pays?” moments in the dating game.

Bling or Bank: The Dating Dilemma (17:52)

Think your date’s designer watch spells ‘jackpot’? Not so fast! Erika reveals there’s more to wealth than meets the eye, and it’s not about flash and cash.

“Wealth is done in secret,” she shares. It’s the behind-the-scenes stuff – property, stocks, and personal growth. So, next time you swipe, ask yourself: Are you after arm candy or someone who’s rich in life’s real treasures?

Family Ties and Money Lies (21:20)

Your money habits didn’t appear out of thin air! Erika breaks down our financial DNA: background, religion, and experiences. It’s a wild mix that shapes our cash attitudes.

Picture this: sneaking shopping bags past Dad as a kid. Sound familiar? These money memories stick around, influencing our adult spending sprees and savings struggles.

But here’s the kicker – we’re often clueless about cash chat, leading to relationship drama. 

Playing Your Cards Right (34:48)

Who knew money talk could be a party game? 

Erika’s “Let’s Talk Finances” cards turn budget chats into a blast. Forget boring spreadsheets – we’re talking juicy questions like “Splurge on stuff or adventures?” and “What’s your guilty pleasure purchase?”

It’s not just fun and games, though. Erika calls it “financial intimacy” – fancy talk for getting cozy with your partner’s money mindset. 

She also has a Divorce Edition for those navigating the financial waters of divorce. As Erika quips, “If you don’t do the couples edition, you’re going to need the divorce edition.” 

 

Connect with Erika:

(42:00) Dear Damona: Help Me!!

Instagram voice memo from Hayden:

So, a question –  I’ve got really bad social anxiety. 

I’m way better than I used to be, but I still don’t have many friends, and I’m bad with relationships just in general. Plantonic or romantic. 

So should I work on friendships and whatnot first, or try something out with romantic relationships?

Do you have questions? Damona has the answers! Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

 

Coaching Session: Light Bulb Moment

Are you ready to transform your love life? 

As we approach the end of the year, we naturally reflect on what we want for our future. For many of you, that’s a relationship. 

But you might be wondering: how does Damona get people like YOU from where you’re at into a committed partnership? How is coaching DIFFERENT from listening to this podcast or following her on social media?

Today’s episode is special because you get a front-row seat inside a real coaching session with Michelle, a prior client who was pregnant and becoming a solo mom by choice when she took Damona’s course two years ago. 

You’ll witness firsthand how we go from confusion to clarity, from frustration to dating success. Sit back and get ready for some real, raw, and actionable advice that could change your love life.

Single Mom to Dating Pro (05:13)

Talk about a plot twist! Michelle dove into dating coaching while navigating early pregnancy. Who knew impending motherhood could spark such a dating revolution?

There’s no “perfect” time to seek love – sometimes, the most unexpected moments lead to the greatest growth.

As she balances the excitement of a new chapter with the search for a partner, we see how self-discovery and dating can go hand in hand.

Navigating the Dating Pool (14:11)

“I’m getting more matches because I’m more curious about people, but I’d say the people who I’m swiping on, who I’m both curious and excited about, that number is much less,” Michelle reflects on her dating experiences.

It’s all about casting a wider net and trusting your instincts! Sometimes, the perfect match might come from an unexpected place. 

There is a delicate balance between quantity and quality in the digital dating world

The Unavailable vs. The Nice Guy (21:20)

In her coaching session, Michelle found herself caught between two types of men: those who weren’t fully available and those who were almost too available. Is there a happy medium?

Damona breaks it down: “You can’t judge yourself into attraction… The attraction should build. And if it’s not building or if it’s actually decreasing, then that is your answer.” This dilemma sheds light on a common dating struggle – the quest for that elusive spark. 

Michelle’s experience prompts us to question: Are we sometimes drawn to unavailability? Do we overlook potential partners who are ready and willing?

Trusting Your Instincts (37:46)

As the session wraps up, Michelle realizes she needs to trust herself more in the dating process. But how do you silence that inner critic that says you’re doing it all wrong?

Damona encourages a mindset shift: “You have all the answers already, trust in yourself that you do. You do know what you’re doing in dating.” 

We often know more than we give ourselves credit for. The challenge lies in quieting the doubts and tuning into our inner wisdom. 

Dear Damona: Help Me!!

Do you have questions? Damona has the answers! Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!