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New Future of Dating & The Hottest Date

LOOK INTO THE FUTURE

This is the 350th episode of Dates & Mates!!! What better way to celebrate the past than to look to the future?

With a lot up in the air around us, the future of dating appears a little uncertain. Across the board, dating coaches are seeing mixed results and a lot of confusion around the new timelines in dating.

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So today we’re getting clear on what’s in store for love this year. Damona welcomes two of our very favorite love coaches – Jonathan Aslay and Francesca Hogi.

Francesca Hogi is a love and life coach for extraordinary people who happen to be single. She’s really big on teaching people to ditch the fairytale and to find unique opportunities to find love. She’s been on the Today Show, she was a 2 time contestant on Survivor and now she’s pretty much the Queen of the Clubhouse App

Jonathon Aslay is America’s Leading Mid-Life Dating and Relationship Coach. Jonathon has taught hundreds of his client’s “purposeful dating” using his proven coaching methods. He’s authored many books on love and self-love, he’s been on NBC, ABC, CBS, and more plus he’s slaying the game on Youtube.

And you KNOW we needed to hear their takes on the week’s headlines:

 

DATING DISH (5:31)

(6:30) The new ‘Minister of Loneliness’

Insider reports that Japan appoints a new ‘Minister of Loneliness’ after the country’s suicide rates increase – especially amongst women. While they don’t see the American government appointing an official like this any time in the near future, Damona, Francesca and Jonathon all agree that something needs to be done about the collective loneliness the world is seeing right now.

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(11:00) The hottest day for dating

Things are looking up in the UK! Boris Johnson has announced that he plans for every adult in the UK to receive the COVID vaccine by July 31st. Even more exciting, OkCupid predicts that August 1st will be the hottest day for dating. Damona, Jonathon, and Francesca discuss.

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THE NEW FUTURE OF DATING (15:15)

Damona, Jonathon, and Francesca have lots of thoughts on the current state of affairs plus the future of love:

(15:30) Can a real connection thrive right now? Jonathon’s tips to avoid ‘false familiarity’

(21:00) Why this has been a good year for relationships: Franny sees a shift toward more dating profile honesty and getting better at prioritising real relationships

(22:40) The emergence of the “New Dawn Dater”: Look out world, Bumble predicts an incoming wave of pandemic breakups which means more relationship-minded singles ready to mingle

(23:36) The power of intentional communication in dating

(25:00) How to make dating obstacles irrelevant

(28:45) Bumble prediction: people may be more inclined to date locally because we have all become more familiar with our local communities. Franny disagrees

(30:45) Lead with practicality in dating today

(38:07) Are men too visual and physical to fall in love online?

 

 

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DEAR DAMONA (*and Jonathon and Franny) (40:28)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Julie W: I’ve been in a relationship for 1.5 years. In January I had to report back into school but my classes were still online. I go to school daily, sit in a room by myself, and come back home. My Girlfriend moved out in January because she was worried about her health. I’m so hurt and sad about it because I feel like I supported her through multiple back injuries and surgeries, in “sickness and health” and she isn’t supporting me with my career knowing I can’t change the fact that I have to report in. I think this is a huge red flag for our relationship as she will only see me now outside and we live in Chicago, it’s freezing outside. Do you think I’m hurt for the right reasons? I know health is important but this to me is not ok. I don’t know any other teachers who are going through something like this.
  • Jessica: What are your thoughts on the chances of meeting someone not using any apps? But then I wonder how in the heck do I meet quality men in these weird Covid times? I’m a 35yr old female that would like a committed, healthy long term relationship. I was married previously and have been divorced for almost 9 yrs. I noticed with dating I am having trouble meeting men that truly know who they are and what they want. With online dating many guys just wanted a text buddy, or I was just not attracted to anyone. I did go on some dates with a few guys over that few months, but cant help feeling like dating apps just aren’t for me. I’d love to know your thoughts on this.

 

THANKS FRANNY AND JONATHON FOR JOINING US!

Find Francesca on Instagram @DearFranny, she also runs a podcast by the same name! Be sure to follow her on Clubhouse – she hosts some of the best rooms on dating and love today.

Find Jonathon’s podcast, “What Would Love Do?” at jonathonaslay.com. Make sure to subscribe to his rapidly growing YouTube channel where he gives tons of weekly advice!

 

THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY TEXTNOW 

The app solves many major challenges that Damona’s clients face in dating today:

  • You can keep your main number private
  • You can separate your personal and dating contacts
  • Plus, It’s easy to use and FREE.

We are proud to collaborate with an app that empowers modern daters to feel safe and secure. If you want more information, check out Damona’s video on when to give out your number to people you meet on dating apps. Click here!

 

DATES & MATES DEALS

Download OkCupid today!

OkCupid is FAMOUS for matching people on what MATTERS MOST to them, from food to the type of relationship they want…to politics. They ask you really thoughtful and provoking questions to get to the heart of who you are and what type of person you’re looking for.

Are you missing out? Download OkCupid today!

 

WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MATCHES?

Are you on the right dating app for your dating style? Find out with Damona’s quiz quiz.damonahoffman.com

 

 

The Phases of Dating During COVID

SAFE ONLINE DATING IN 2020 AND 2021

Since I began my practice, there have been only two major disruptors to the online dating process that have required me to modify my approach: Tinder and COVID. 

Online dating was always one of my favorite mediums for singles to meet but Tinder and the apps that followed made online dating accessible to all and forever impacted the dating landscape. 

COVID has changed everything about how to date online, use the apps, and filter for matches. Today, the number one question I hear is: “How does dating during COVID work?” Luckily for daters, the stages of dating in 2020 have stayed the same, but the way we navigate them could be a little different.

These are the phases in online dating in 2020 and 2021:

Phase 1: Online Matching and Introduction

The speed of swiping is still just as quick as before but I find that daters are slower to move on to in-person dating in the pandemic as they take time to assess someone’s dating risk.

Phase 2: Texting/Messaging

This stage, which used to drag on for weeks or months, is truncated now because a call or video date is less risky than a traditional date. Before, people had to weigh the value proposition of an in-person date based on the investment of time and money. Now that those factors are removed, there is less pressure on this decision and singles are speeding through this part of the process.

Phase 3: The Phone Call

I have been a long-time advocate of the phone call prior to the first date. It is impossible to tell compatibility over text, yet before now, many people were skipping the phone call in favor of speed and efficiency. Now phone calls have once again become an accepted phase in the dating process as a lead up to a video chat or social distance date. 

For my clients who are nervous about giving out their phone number, I recommend downloading the TextNow App which gives you a free alternative number that will ring to your primary phone. That way if you ever change your mind about a match, you can change your number safely and easily and keep it moving.

Phase 4: Social Distance Date

Once you have talked on the phone or video chatted, you will need to meet up in person to see if the connection is real within a month or less. Most catfish situations come up when the daters have never connected off the app so I encourage clients to move offline as soon as it feels safe and comfortable.

For months, singles have waited for things to return to normal. So if you ever wondered how to date online in the middle of a world-wide pandemic AND election year, my answer is: it’s a lot like the old model of online dating with more precaution.

Now, more than ever, those who are uncoupled have felt the weight of their decision to stay single or the frustration of being unable to find a suitable partner. However, we are in the new normal and dating will not return to the old model anytime in the foreseeable future.

The positive side of this shift is that it has slowed down the filtering phase. What had become a rapid-fire round of swiping directly to a date and the inevitable ghosting that followed has been replaced by more mindful conversations and meaningful phone calls and video chats.

Ultimately, you have to create your own safety plan for dating in the time of Coronavirus but if you move offline quickly, I recommend downloading the TextNow App to communicate safely then meet up in a COVID-safe environment, you can still find love in today’s world.

 


This blog is sponsored by TextNow. The app solves many major challenges that my clients face in dating today:

  • You can keep your main number private
  • You can separate your personal and dating contacts
  • Plus, It’s easy to use and FREE.

I’m proud to collaborate with an app that empowers modern daters to feel safe and secure. If you want more information, check out my video when to give out your number to people you meet on dating apps. Click here!