Millennial Dating & First Date Sex

Our guest co-host this week was Jamie Faye. An internationally certified dating and relationship coach, Jamie currently lives in Tel Aviv with her husband and helps coach individual and couples in their personal, romantic, and professional relationships, with a special emphasis on millennials.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:04)

What is a mixed-weight relationship and why does it matter?

There’s recently been some discussion revolving around mixed-weight relationships, a relationship where there’s a notable difference in size between partners. Some find it a descriptor that can help you find power in labels, while others find it problematic and unnecessary. You can read more via Refinery29 here.

Device use can seriously impact relationships

A recent Kaspersky Lab study showed that 55% of couples argue about devices and their use. Though there’s a wide variety of specific reasons, the most common issue of contention is couples using a device while face-to-face with their partner. You can read more via Deccan Chronicle here.

Can you have sex on the first date in the age of #MeToo?

The conversation around sex and dating has seen some radical shifts: how about for as something as time-honored as the “three date rule”? Opinions vary, but there could be some benefit to getting hot and heavy early on in the relationship. You can read more via the Sydney Morning Herald.

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:07)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • What to do if you don’t feel like a priority after six months of dating
  • How to handle an ex that’s using Snapchat to keep tabs on you
  • How to know whether you should give up on a guy or not

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:53)

Damona got something under her skin this week, so it was time for another Diatribe. Up on the chopping block this time around: those who don’t read beyond the headlines.

Mixed Race Relationships & Swiping Risks

Our guest co-host this week was Monique DeBose. Monique is an award-winning, multi-talented playwright, singer, and star of the critically acclaimed show Mulatto Math: Summing Up the Race Equation in America. She joined us to talk about interracial relationships.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:28)

Do swiping rewards outweigh the risk?

According to a new study published by the Pew Research Center, 45% of those who met via online dating apps believe it’s a more dangerous way of meeting people than traditional methods. But then again, 79% of those polled also admit it’s the most effective way of finding a partner. You can read more via Deseret News here.

Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan split after nine years of marriage

The internet had its heart broken last week when Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan announced their split. Though they publicly stated it was a tender separation, there may be more to the story . . . You can read more via People here.

Dishes are the chore killing your relationship

Women in heterosexual relationships reported that if they do the dishes the majority of the time, they’re less satisfied in their relationship. Couple who trade off dish duties or strike a “You cook, I clean” rule were much happier. You can read more via Esquire here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (34:01)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • What to do if you don’t feel like a priority after six months of dating
  • What to do if you’re in love with your childhood best friend
  • How to handle a mom who doesn’t want you sleeping over at your boyfriend’s house

And many more . . .

DATING DOT DOT DOT (48:23)

We got Monique’s lightning fast love advice in another installment of Dating Dot Dot

  1. _________ is always sexy
  2. _________ is never sexy
  3. The biggest red flag on a dating profile is_________
  4. The most common first date mistake is _________
  5. The most important quality in a wife is_________.
  6. The most important quality in a husband is _________

Happy Anniversary & Obligaswiping

Our guest co-host this week was Jared Stern. Jared’s the writer, producer, and director of the Netflix Original romantic comedy, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, which is available for streaming now. He’s currently in production on an adaptation of GREEN EGGS AND HAM and has written on WRECK-IT RALPH, THE INTERNSHIP, and THE LEGO MOVIE.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:28)

Can you swipe right on a coworker?

40% of office workers have had a workplace romance, and 72% of those don’t feel like they need to hide it. While it seems like it would make sense, work culture expert Alison Green gives a hard no to swiping right on those you work with. She says there’s too much potential for miscommunication and unequal expectations. You can read more via Quartz here.

New dating app trend: obligaswiping

There’s a new epidemic taking root where people blindly swipe on apps with no intention of actually meeting up. Many people these days go hard on dating apps for a day or two, grow bored, and abandon ship. Being on a dating app is now just a defense mechanism so you can say you’re trying. Read more about what we need to do to fix this via Cosmopolitan here.

Donald Trump Jr. was having an affair with Aubrey O’Day

It’s come about that while Vanessa was pregnant, Donald Trump Jr. was out trying for a baby with singer Aubrey O’Day. Aubrey released songs after the affair called “Somebody That I Used to Know” and “DJT.” Read more about what Vanessa did when she found this out via US Magazine here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (29:30)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • What to do if they guy you’ve been talking to suddenly turns cold
  • How to ask your boyfriend to post a picture of the two of you on social media so nobody else comes looking
  • Whether or not to keep your socks on during sex

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:47)

Damona had something that got under her skin that she needed to bring out into the world: women who sit on the sidelines waiting for romance to happen. It’s 2018! Get out there and find yourself the partner of your dreams.

Sexperts & Date Expectations

Our guest co-hosts this week were Tyomi Morgan-Najieb and Naim Najieb. Tyomi and Naim are life partners that work together to help couples with sex and love. Tyomi is an International Pleasure Coach and sexpert that aims to represent people of color in mainstream sexuality. Meanwhile, Naim is a love educator, entrepreneur, and author of the book Love Is Not a Game: A Manual for Loving Relationships.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:19)

Dating app uses a team of moms to help its users with love

The dating app Inner Circle allows its users to get advice from a customer support team consisting of six moms, all of whom are married with children and believe that they’ve “conquered the dating game.” Users must be vetted by the team after analyzing social media profiles, but once you’re in, the moms will console you after breakups, give personalized tips on how to get more responses, and much more. You can read more via Mashable here.

Can you pick a partner based on voice?

A new app, Waving, has you swipe left and right based on a voice message. Men with lower voices and women with higher voices are typically found more attractive, but experts say that varying the tone of your voice is the most important. Nevertheless, some are skeptical that you can find love without an initial visual element. You can read more via Independent here.

Posture affects your results on dating apps

According to a Princeton study, expansive posture increases your success on dating apps. These kinds of stances suggest dominance and openness, which are seen as attractive. So for an easy boost in results, unfold those arms! You can read more via Independent here.

Vanessa Trump’s dating past

Vanessa Trump, soon to be Vanessa Hayden once the ink is dry on her divorce from Donald Trump Jr., was once attached to a Hollywood heartthrob. Sleuths have uncovered the fact that Vanessa was Leonardo DiCaprio’s beau in 1998 during the time Titanic came out. Though the publicist officially denied it at the time, several photos show them getting very cozy. You can read more via Elite Daily here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (34:42)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • What to do if the guy you just had sex with got back together with his girlfriend
  • How to feel about pets in the room while you’re having sex
  • What to do if you’re in it for love but he’s in it for sex

And many more . . .

DATING DOT DOT DOT (45:45)

We asked Tyomi and Naim for their lightning fast love advice in an installment of Dating Dot Dot Dot:

  • Who pays on a date?
  • Is it acceptable for a woman to be the breadwinner in a relationship?
  • Is it OK for a woman to propose?

Dating Style & Boyfriends of Instagram

Our guest co-host this week was Rayne Parvis. Rayne is a certified personal stylist and style coach working with clients all over the world. She’s the author of the book Ultimate Guide to Style: From Drab to Fab.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:13)

Women want a body type only 14% of men have

Though men are notorious for being difficult when it comes to ideal body types, it turns out that 86% of women are going around disappointed with how their partner looks! A new study show that the overwhelming majority of women want a man six feet or taller, with only 4% of women saying they’d date a partner shorter than them. You can read more via Revelist here.

We’ve already made “Tillerson-ing” a dating term

Last Tuesday, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson learned he was out of a job by reading President Trump’s Twitter. People immediately took to social media to share their own stories of “Tillerson-ing” in a relationship. Have you ever been “Tillerson-ed”? Read more via Mashable here.

Iggy Azalea says she’s done dating rapper

Rapper Iggy Azalea recently said there’s room for only one rapper in a relationship and she’s already filling that role loud and proud. That being said, she shared some of her concerns about “being 35 and single.” You can read more via Billboard here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (31:23)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • What to do if your boyfriend tries to hack your Instagram
  • How to handle the fact you only attract men who are interested in sex
  • How to handle the fact your lesbian friend invited you to Pride even though you don’t want to go

And many more . . .

ROMANCE ROLLBACK (48:20)

If you’re having trouble finding luck in love, you could always give this ancient Irish love spell a try. The Irish have long been notorious for their magick and spellcasting due to their Celtic heritage, and have a high percentage of Wiccans. Here’s what you’ll need:

  • 5 cups of clovers
  • 4 cups of salt
  • 2 green candles
  • 2 white candles
  • 2 red candles
  • 1 carving utensil
  • 1 lighter or match
  • 1 piece of paper
  • 1 sealable container
  • 1 picture of the target lover
  • 1 picture of yourself
  • 1 piece of string

Draw a circle around you with the salt, laying the clovers on top. Then, carve a heart into all six candles. Carve your initials and a Celtic knot into the GREEN candles. Carve your lover’s initials and date of birth into ONE of the red candles. Then carve YOUR initials and dates of birth into the other red candle.

Light the white candles and chant “The Irish survive and thrive and I call them to thy circle” both times you light a candle.

Light the green candles and chant “The power of the Irish is alive to strive. Bless Thy Circle with the Powers of the Irish Eyes” both times you light a candle

Fold the two photos evenly together

Light the red candles

Wrap the two photos together while chanting “Spin thy heart to thou soul and thy soul to thou heart. With the Irish Eyes Blessed It Be”

Place the wrapped photos into the container, pour the clovers over them, and say “I infuse our bond with the power of the Irish forever!” three times

Meditate for three minutes

Pour the wax of all the candles into the container

Seal the container and keep it until the spell has manifested

For style consultations and tips visit Rayne Parvis at StylebyRayne.com

Get one week of online dating free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

 


Feminism & Dating

Our guest co-host this week was Clarissa Silva. Clarissa Silva is a behavioral scientist, researcher, and relationship coach with 17 years of experience in mental health, behavioral science, and public health. She’s the creator of the Your Happiness Hypothesis method, which provides science-based solutions to the woes of modern dating.

 

D’S DATING DISH (3:40)

Why going on too many dates can prevent you from finding love

The symptoms of over-dating are sweeping through the dating world, with anything more than two dates a week considered an example. Over-dating can lead to desensitization, a pursuit of something you’ll never realistically be able to get, and can prevent a real connection from occurring. But controversially, mathematician Hannah Fry says you should reject the first 37% people you date if you want to find the perfect one. What’s one to do? You can read more via Independent UK here.

Blac Chyna confirms she’s dating someone much younger

Blac Chyna was recently spotted with 18-year-old rapper YBN Almighty Jay. They were recently spotted hopping into a Ferrari, with Blac Chyna confirming they’re an item. However, he’s a decade younger than her and can’t even legally drink. Is it doomed to fail? You can read more via BET here.

Women are all about making the first move, and it’s leading to love

Invite-only dating app The League analyzed 100 couples who have been dating for more than one year, and one out of every three straight couples started with the woman messaging first. The stats don’t lie, and when a woman contacts a man first, 30 percent of those messages turn into a conversation. You can read more via Bravo here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (30:05)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • What to do if you love a man’s personality but aren’t attracted to him
  • How to handle a girlfriend sending nudes to another guy
  • What to do with an ex that won’t leave you alone on social media

And many more . . .

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP (46:02)

Brad Pitt has been in the headlines as of late thanks to the Oscars, so the Dates and Mates team thought that we’d do him a favor and offer our expertly curated picks of potential bachelorettes.

Find Clarissa’s relationship coaching at ClarissaSilva.com

Get one week of online dating free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

 


Better Sex & Interracial Emojis

Our guest co-host this week was Kongit Farrell. Kongit Farrell is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of the Inspired Journey Counseling Center in Los Angeles. She worked as a coach and therapist for nine years and she also worked in the First Lady’s Office of Communication in the White House. 

 

D’S DATING DISH (14:50)

Red flags to watch out for when dating someone younger

Damona was recently featured in Elite Daily with a whole bunch of tips for those in this potentially sticky situation. Most importantly, take note of if your younger partner seems preoccupied with your career or connections, if your sex drives aren’t in sync, or if they haven’t integrated you into their life. Read the full article via Elite Daily here.

Jennifer Aniston has had enough of sex and dating

Aniston just recently split from her beau Justin Theroux, and claims that all she’s interested in is “Me Time.” Although a Hollywood heartthrob, she’s not even interested in anything in terms of the bedroom. Any eligible sutiors out there? You can read more via Hollywood Life here.

Tinder users are more open to interracial dating

Of more than 4,000 people surveyed, 72% said that Tinder was the most diverse dating app and 80% said that they’ve been on an interracial date before. What do you think? Do you think online dating is diversifying the dating pool? You can read more via BuzzFeed here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (28:52)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to deal with your significant other’s conservative parents
  • What to do when you’re not sure if it’s cool to invite someone to a wedding
  • How to turn away a persistent guy who is making you uncomfortable

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:25)

Every once in awhile Damona has something to get off her chest, and this week was no exception. Up this time on the chopping block: the lack of effort in guys’ dating profiles today. Tune in to see what she had to say.

Married at First Sight & Relationship Rituals

Our guest co-host this week was Rhonda Richards-Smith. Rhonda is an award-winning psychotherapist and relationship expert whose advice has been featured everywhere from the Huffington Post to Teen Vogue to US Weekly. But that’s not all! We also had a very special appearance from Pastor Calvin of the reality show Married at First Sight.

D’S DATING DISH (2:55)

Duke looks to change its dating policy

Up until now, Duke University has given its blessing to relationship between students and teachers as long as the student is not currently enrolled in the professor’s class, working on a research project with them, or being mentored by them. However, it’s a sign of the times that the Academic Council is now looking to shake things up. You can read more via Herald Sun here.

Which Olympic athletes are hooking up the most?

Bumble is proving popular at this year’s Olympic games, and the details are in regarding who is taking advantage of the event for a different kind of physical activity. Which sport has the athletes that are getting it on the most? You can find out via TMZ here.

Amy Schumer ties the knot

Schumer’s only been dating chef Chris Fischer for a few months, but they recently made things official in a small ceremony in Malibu this past weekend. It was a low-key event with only around 80 in attendance, but the couple seem happy and we wish them all the best. You can read more via Huffington Post here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (37:59)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to handle a husband liking some old flame’s posts on social media
  • What to do when your best friend is dating your ex
  • What to do if you’re depressed over a breakup

And many more . . .

Micro-Cheating & PTSAD

Our guest co-host this week was Carmelia Ray. Carmelia is an internationally acclaimed matchmaker for high achieving men and the quality women they’re searching for. She’s helped over 7,000 clients and is a renowned TV personality on shows such as Mom vs. Matchmaker and The Real Housewives of Toronto. Appearing in such publications as AskMen, Variety, and The Hollywood Reporter, clients can’t get enough of her “never settle” attitude and we were happy to welcome her on.

D’S DATING DISH (17:14)

New roundup of dating terms

We like to check in on dating slang every once in awhile, and we’ve got some new terms for you to keep an ear out for, including micro-cheating, catch and release, and the slow fade, in addition to some terms we’ve covered before such as breadcrumbing, ghosting, and love bombing. You can read more via FOX News here.

Drew Barrymore gives online dating a try

Barrymore has dreamed of a blind date since she was a little girl, but only recently drummed up the courage to give elite dating app Raya a try. Unfortunately, she didn’t meet with much success, and to make things worse, her ex-husband mentioned he was surprised to see her on the app even though she tried to delete her profile. You can read more via E! here.

A woman’s surprising way of celebrating a divorce

While many say that time heals all wounds, Briana Barksdale would beg to disagree. Barksdale recently held a garage sale where she sold all of the items she owns that remind her of her ex-husband, ending with her burning her wedding dress in front of the onlookers. You can read more via USA Today here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:11)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How you should feel if your boyfriend went out with his friends on Valentine’s Day
  • What to do if you need to hack your boyfriend’s cellphone to prove he’s cheating
  • What to do if you’re in the military and learn your wife’s found another man

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (46:23)

It’s been awhile since Damona’s needed to blow off some steam, but this week we were treated to another diatribe. The topic? Love starting with you.

Get one week free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

Claim your free gift and get more dating advice at DatesandMates.com

Dates & Mates

Date for a Soulmate & Valentine’s Day

Our guest co-hosts this week were Orna and Matthew Walters, soulmate coaches for spiritual, successful, and single women who have everything . . . except the man of their dreams. Their breakthrough coaching program, Bring In Your Beloved, helps its practitioners remove blocks to love so you can love yourself and others more deeply. Love coaches who are actually in love, we were lucky enough to have them stick around to give our listeners some advice in Technically Dating after our interview.

D’S DATING DISH (3:10)

A guide to having “the talk” with the person you’re dating

We’ve all been in the position of dreading “the talk,” but luckily, the Washington Post has published a guide to hold your hand through the process. The key points are to remember to never force things and to make your intentions clear from the start, but you can read more via the link above.

The new rules for workplace romance

Facebook recently revealed their workplace dating policies, and thankfully, everyone was in agreement that they’re pretty fair! The big kicker? You only have one shot to ask a coworker out. If they reject you, it’s harassment if you ask them again. You can read more via Gizmodo here.

A surprising celebrity breakup

Alas, another Hollywood couple has bitten the dust. Sarah Silverman and boyfriend Michael Sheen called it quits over Christmas break and are just now making the news official. However, Sarah is keeping her trademark sense of humor about it, and we’re rooting for her as always. You can read more via ET here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (32:58)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • Good ideas for Valentine’s Day if you’re single
  • How to handle a younger wife who’s getting attention from other men
  • How to tell someone you need space

And many more . . .

Get 1 week free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

Long-Term Love & Super Bowl Swiping

Our guest co-hosts this week were Lee and Mimi Hoffman, Damona’s beloved in-laws. They joined us to share their love story and give dating advice to the next generation.

D’S DATING DISH (2:46)

The Stats on Super Bowl Swiping

During the Big Game, dating apps see an increase in use, whether you’re in the town where the Super Bowl’s occurring or just scrolling through your phone while the game is on. In the days leading up to the Super Bowl, some apps report increases as high as 50%, with a 60% increase in message responses. Spruce up your profile, maybe get a sports-themed bio in there, and read more about it via Elite Daily here.

Lady Gaga’s Secret Lover

The recent Grammy’s had us wondering just who, exactly, Lady Gaga is shacked up with. Turns out she got engaged to boyfriend Christian Carino last November. Her manager over at CAA who’s so into her he got a tattoo of her face, we wish her all the best in love. You can read more via Romper here.

Dane Cook’s Dating a 19-Year-Old

We generally think age is just a number, but comedian Dane Cook is dating a 19-year-old despite the fact he’s a whopping 26 years older than her. What do you think, is over a quarter of a century a little too much of an age gap? You can read more via People here.

Match.com’s Singles in America Survey

We got the exclusive scoop on Match.com’s annual Singles in America survey just hours after it dropped. Each year, Match.com publishes an extensive study on dating trends they’ve analyzed, and we highly recommend everyone checks it out. You can find it right here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (34:44)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to be more confident with your body image
  • What to do if the person you’re interested in just wants to be friends
  • How to tell a partner you’re not ready to move across the country with them

And many more . . .

 

Get 1 week free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

Download your free dating or relationship course at damonahoffman.com

The Power of Being Single & Level Up in Love

Our guest co-host this week was Cheyenne Bostock, a life coach, relationship expert, motivational speaker, and author of four best-selling books. A writer for the Huffington Post and a regular contributing expert on The Bill Cunningham Show, Cheyenne has been featured everywhere from ABC to FOX to Fusion TV. Cheyenne sat with us to talk about the Power of Being Single and help give advice to listeners in Technically Dating.

D’S DATING DISH (2:48)

How “Me Too” is Affecting Dating Lives

MTV conducted extensive research last month about how the #MeToo movement is affecting dating. 85% of users said it’s starting an important conversation, with one in four women saying they’ve noticed a change in behavior among men. However, 68% admitted that the lines are getting blurry about what does and does not constitute sexual harassment. What do you think? You can read more via Bustle here.

How Much Time are Millennials Spending on Dating Apps?

Over 5,000 18-30 year olds were studied. Men spend a whopping 85 minutes a day on dating apps, roughly 10 minutes per session, with women logging in for a total of 10 times a day. Especially with January seeing a 23% increase in users, is this only limited to millennials? How long do you spend on dating apps a day? You can read more via Independent UK here.

Ciara Tells Women to Level Up

Singer Ciara recently came under fire for reposting a clip from a sermon directed towards women. In it, a pastor tells women that they have to “level up” and start carrying themselves as a wife and not a girlfriend. Considering Ciara’s tumultuous relationship past, was she out of line for telling others how to live their lives? You can read more via Yahoo here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (23:28)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to overcome your nerves and ask out your crush
  • How to stop stalking your ex’s social media
  • What to do if a guy tells you he’s single but his social media says otherwise

And many more . . .

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP (43:27)

It’s been awhile since we’ve done the Hollywood Hookup, but when we heard Michael B. Jordan recently confirmed that he’s single, we had to jump in! Damona and Producer Thomas think Rihanna, Janelle Monae, and Priyanka Chopra would all look good with the star of the upcoming Marvel film Black Panther. What do you think?

 

Get 1 week free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

Download your free dating or relationship course at damonahoffman.com