Gender Identity & Astrology of Love

IS LOVE IN THE STARS FOR YOU THIS FALL?

Carol Allen, from Love Is In the Stars, co-hosts this week’s episode. Carol is an astrologer who steers the love lives of many women based on what is written in the stars. Today on the show, she gives us a fantastic fall love forecast and joins us to talk about gender and sexuality because she has a personal connection to this topic through a close transgender family member who she’s supported through his transition. Together with our guest panel, Damona and Carol unpack what your dating life can learn from the experiences of those who have a different sexual orientation or gender identity than you do.

D’S DATING DISH

Why are divorce rates going down?

Thanks millennials! According to Time, a recent study shows that divorce rates dropped 18% from 2008 to 2016 and this is due mostly to the lower divorce rates among millennials. Is it really all that surprising that millennials are divorcing less than generations before them? We don’t think so.

What can you learn from Gen Z daters

According to a study done by the dating app Zoosk, there are a number things that Gen Z does right when it comes to dating. Gen Zers are the least picky daters and swipe right on 33% of the matches they are presented with. How can this help you and what else can you learn from this study? We have answers.

Your childhood faves have a new relationship status!

It’s been a few weeks since former Sesame Street writer, Mark Saltzman, confirmed that Bert and Ernie are indeed a gay couple. The official Sesame Workshop says differently, however. Does it matter whether Bert and Ernie are gay? Does representation matter – even in kids programming? Or are we taking the puppet relationship dynamic too far? The discussion heats up this week.

IDENTITY, SEXUALITY, AND GENDER

Sexuality and Gender Identity: Are they fixed or fluid? How do you know if the way you’ve been living or dating might be limiting your possibility of finding true love and happiness? We sat down with Jasmine Luna and Harry Caldwell to learn more about their experience.

Jasmine Luna is your average queer, transgender, latinx witch. She is a strong advocate for her queer community, which includes work at the Trevor Project and the Los Angeles LGBT Center.

Harry Caldwell is a Jewelry Designer, Yoga Instructor, and Tantra Instructor. He has identified as Pansexual for the last 15+ years and feels compelled to share his knowledge of the energy of love with everyone he encounters in order to reduce the amount of suffering in the world.

We talked about A LOT:

  • Pansexuality, Omnisexuality, Bisexuality, Transexuality
  • Transitioning
  • What it’s like Transitioning within a relationship
  • Pronouns & Identity
  • Mixed Raced Identity & Sexuality
  • Tantra & Unifying the Masculine and Feminine Energies within us
  • Dating in Los Angeles versus other cities
  • How to maintain outgoing mentality towards dating apps
  • Hookup Culture and Pansexuality
  • Making Love & Deep Intimate Connection
  • The Trevor Project
  • Panty Hose
  • Chickens

TECHNICALLY DATING  

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Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Is it normal to be dating multiple people online?
  • How can you tell if they’re busy or blowing you off?

FALL LOVE FORECAST

Carol Allen gives us the scoop on what the upcoming #VenusRetrograde means for your love life.

Get Carol’s compatibility report half off HERE using the offer code HALFOFF.

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Follow Jasmine on IG @the_witchy_wonder and read her adventures jasmineseclipse.blogspot.com

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Man School & The Guy Spy

What does #MeToo mean for your love life? 

Jonathan Aslay, The Guy Spy, returns to co-host this week’s episode of Dates and Mates. Jonathan is America’s leading Midlife dating and relationship coach and author of Unlocking the Male Mind, Finding Love Online and Why Men Pull Away. Damona and Jonathan interview Matthew Solomon, author of Man School: Relating to Women in the #MeToo Era, and breakdown how we can better relate to each other in today’s dating environment:

D’S DATING DISH (2:20)

Kourtney Kardashian dates younger men. Why don’t you?

Spotted: Post-breakup Kourtney Kardashian out on not one, but TWO dates with men 20 years her junior. This month we’ve seen Kourtney rebounding from breakup with Younes Bendjima (26) with Grownish star Luka Sabbat (20) and a yet to be named Younes look alike. Do you date younger, too? 

What secrets is your sexual partner keeping from you?

HuffPost reports that Three in Four people with an STI haven’t told their sexual partners about it. Why are so many people keeping it a secret? We have some insight.

Is love making you fat?

According to Men’s Health, the average person gains 36 pounds in a relationship. 17 of those pounds are gained in the first year of the relationship. The reasons people gain this weight may surprise you!  

Man School (16:40)

Today we welcome Matthew Solomon, author and empowerment coach specializing in communication & relationships. Matthew has always had a passion for equality and understanding, which is evident in his work as an author, coach and filmmaker. Damona and Jonathan sit down with Matthew and take a closer look at Man School: Relating with Women in the #MeToo Era. They talk about:

  • How #MeToo changed the way we date
  • How to make a women feel comfortable when you approach her
  • Toxic Masculinity
  • The Friend zone
  • Porn
  • How to pick up chicks
  • Tantra
  • Chivalry

Whether you’re a man or a woman, this book is an excellent read and has a lot of great lessons on how we can better relate to each other in today’s dating environment.

TECHNICALLY DATING (41:56)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to get your man to crave more sex with you
  • When is it time to have that “DTR” talk?

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Visit Jonathon’s Website or find him on Twitter and Facebook

You can also find Matthew on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or his Website

Damona Hoffman is on IG, Twitter, & Facebook @DamonaHoffman

Yoga For Love & Textationships

Hello Lovers, Happy #NationalYogaAwarenessMonth!

This week Rebecca Benenati joins us to co-host a special episode dedicated to Yoga Awareness Month. Rebecca is a certified doula and yoga instructor who is Damona’s teacher and was also her doula in childbirth. Rebecca’s created a large community through Wellborn Lifestyles which offers birth support and soon also yoga classes in Los Angeles. Today Damona and Rebecca discuss how yoga can shift the way you date and improve your relationship:

D’S DATING DISH (2:21)

Does your partner have the seven qualities relationship experts say you need for a lasting relationship?

This week relationship experts told us the 7 Qualities Your Partner Should Have By The Time They’re 30. Do you really need to have these qualities by 30? How does your partner measure up? Damona and Rebecca have thoughts. 

Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose give great co-parenting advice

Have you seen this video of Wiz brushing Sebastian’s hair? Great Parenting! Amber and Wiz’s relationship goes to show that you can co-parent after an ugly breakup. Damona and Rebecca discuss Amber Rose’s surprisingly simple co-parenting tip.

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Could your job be hurting your chances at finding love on Tinder?

Tinder has released the most right swiped professions in the US and the UK! Does Tinder think your job is sexy? Find out on today’s show.

YOGA FOR LOVE (17:46)

Damona and Rebecca give us an in depth look at the benefits of yoga for your love life:

  • How yoga can benefit your relationship
  • Getting started with couple yoga
  • Having Grace in a challenging situation
  • How to navigate finding love after divorce
  • How yoga helps women communicate with their partners

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:26)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here are the topics we answered this week:

  • How to stop going for unavailable men and long-distance relationships?
  • How to meet someone special if you’re always working?
  • How to tell if someone likes you in a romantic way?

 

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (41:50)

Are you stuck in a “textationship”? A textationship is a relationship that is essentially text only. Here’s the bad news: Textationships rarely move forward and actually hurt your chances of finding a real relationship. Damona gives us us some much needed tough love and honesty about how to move past your textationship.

Join Damona’s Community of Love by choosing your free e-course at DatesandMates.com and you’ll get access to the exclusive group coaching calls for Dates & Mates listeners.

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Rebecca Benenati on Instagram

Take your time back! Yoga misses you. Go to greenchef.us/datesandmates for $50 OFF your first box!

 

Super Mamas & Relationship Standards

Super Mamas Podcast host Paulina Lopez and guest co-host psychotherapist Rhonda Richards-Smith join Damona to discuss how moms can still be sexy to their husbands. Rhonda takes on the headlines including: How dating apps have affected the rate of STDs, Aziz Ansari’s comedy in the #MeToo era, and how your relationship standards change once you’re couple up. Questions from listeners include: how to avoid strange requests on dating apps, should you see your ex again, and is it ok for your man to DM an instagram model?

 

D’S DATING DISH (4:21)

Dating apps blamed for rise in STDs

STDs are on the rise, with five times as many cases seen in the past four months when compared with the same time period last year. Apps such as Tinder and Bumble are facing blame, with syphilis being the STD increasing the most rapidly. You can read more via NY Post here.

Aziz Ansari returns to standup with dating routine

Both Aziz Ansari and Louis C.K. returned to standup this week after being implicated in the #MeToo movement. Ansari avoided mention of the accusations against him, despite the fact the set was structured around dating. Is this tasteless? Can he make a comeback? You can read more via NME here.

How your relationship standards change

A new study proves that your relationship expectations change before and after you enter a relationship. It proved that those who took the survey while in a relationship ranked their current partner closer to their ideal than those who took the survey single and entered into a relationship a few months later. You can read more via Bustle here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (38:35)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • How to avoid strange messages on dating apps
  • If it’s OK to see your ex again

And many more . . .

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Marriage Secrets & Out of Your League

On this episode, storyteller Shannon Cason (Homemade Stories & WBEZ Chicago’s The Trouble with Shannon Cason) joins with his wife Cindy to share the secrets that almost tore their marriage apart and how they’ve weathered the relationship storms. Plus, Relationship Scientist Ryeal Simms handles the headlines with Damona including how dating apps can score you a job, the impact of working from home on your relationship, and Iggy Azalea’s whiplash dating week. Questions from listeners include how long your engagement should last and how to get a guy who is out of your league.

D’S DATING DISH (3:36)

Can dating apps help you land a job?

Many millennials are turning to dating apps to find a job these days, with it not being too uncommon for freelancers to get hired after two dates, or at least recommended. And honestly, why not! As long as you’re transparent that you’re looking for professional connections, it seems like an interesting way to boost your chances of finding work. You can read more via ABC News here.

Checking emails after work harms a relationship

We all have some anxiety, but even opening up an email to glance at after work can create the sense of “work without boundaries” and increase our stress tenfold. This can effect partners, children, and friends as they see the psychological effects of never “turning off.” You can read more via the Independent here.

Iggy Azalea’s whirlwind week

Last week Iggy Azalea confirmed she was dating Texans wide receive DeAndre Hopkins, only to Tweet out she was single again the next day. Both seemed a little affected, Azalea sharing Tweets about how she’ll always be single and Hopkins getting into a fight in his game the next day, but Azalea is already rumored to have been spotted with Tyga. You can read more via USA today here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (32:19)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • The appropriate length of time to wait to get married
  • What to do if your child finds a sex toy in your room

And more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:28)

Damona got a little serious on this week’s diatribe, but she’s been seeing a lot of people putting all of their emotional weight behind relationships lately, so much so that they saying they want to die when a relationship ends. She took to the mic to give some words of encouragement and offer resources for those who are truly depressed.

Follow Cindy Cason @JacindaCason

Follow Shannon Cason @ShannonCason and check out the podcasts Homemade Stories and The Trouble with Shannon Cason.

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Find more from Ryeal Simms at RelationshipScientistRyeal.com

If you or anyone you know is facing feelings of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

To get your question answered on a future show, download the Textpert App, email Damona or leave us a voicemail at 424-246-6255

Dating While Disabled & Pride Month

Our guest co-host this week was Christy Goldstein. The author of the new book Dating While Disabled, Christy stopped by to share her tips for dating with a disability or mental illness.

 

D’S DATING DISH (6:32)

Superstore and Survivor stars are dating

Superstore’s Nico Santos was recently confirmed to be dating Zeke Smith of Survivor! The cute couple posted a photo of them celebrating Pride just last week, and they’ve been photographed together at the GLAAD Awards and in Palm Springs earlier this year. You can read more via US Magazine.

Another roundup of dating terms

We like to keep you on the front-edge of new dating lingo, so we’ve got another collection of terms to report on, from “shaveducking” to “drafting” to “dationship.” You can read more via Mama Mia here.

The value of “sober dating”

Studies are in, and they confirm that nearly 37% of people drink before going on a date, with 50% enjoying two-to-three drinks while on the actual date itself. The long story short? This is a lot of booze, and you may be better off getting to know someone while in full control of your faculties. You can read more via Psychology Today here.

Women cheat to save their relationships

In a new study on women who cheat, it was determined that the vast majority do so in order to stay married, having certain needs met elsewhere while still acting as a wife and mother. You can read more via The Sun here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:45)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • How to handle feeling stuck with a narcissist fiance
  • How to approach a timid person when wanting to take a friendship to the next level
  • How to feel when your significant other says they’ll watch porn if you don’t send them nudes

And many more . . .

ROMANCE ROLLBACK (45:12)

In honor of Pride Month, we thought we’d use the Romance Rollback to explore the history of Pride and LGBTQIA rights in America.

Find more advice from Christy Goldstein at ChristyGoldsteintheSexpert.com

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The Power of Being Single & Level Up in Love

Our guest co-host this week was Cheyenne Bostock, a life coach, relationship expert, motivational speaker, and author of four best-selling books. A writer for the Huffington Post and a regular contributing expert on The Bill Cunningham Show, Cheyenne has been featured everywhere from ABC to FOX to Fusion TV. Cheyenne sat with us to talk about the Power of Being Single and help give advice to listeners in Technically Dating.

D’S DATING DISH (2:48)

How “Me Too” is Affecting Dating Lives

MTV conducted extensive research last month about how the #MeToo movement is affecting dating. 85% of users said it’s starting an important conversation, with one in four women saying they’ve noticed a change in behavior among men. However, 68% admitted that the lines are getting blurry about what does and does not constitute sexual harassment. What do you think? You can read more via Bustle here.

How Much Time are Millennials Spending on Dating Apps?

Over 5,000 18-30 year olds were studied. Men spend a whopping 85 minutes a day on dating apps, roughly 10 minutes per session, with women logging in for a total of 10 times a day. Especially with January seeing a 23% increase in users, is this only limited to millennials? How long do you spend on dating apps a day? You can read more via Independent UK here.

Ciara Tells Women to Level Up

Singer Ciara recently came under fire for reposting a clip from a sermon directed towards women. In it, a pastor tells women that they have to “level up” and start carrying themselves as a wife and not a girlfriend. Considering Ciara’s tumultuous relationship past, was she out of line for telling others how to live their lives? You can read more via Yahoo here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (23:28)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to overcome your nerves and ask out your crush
  • How to stop stalking your ex’s social media
  • What to do if a guy tells you he’s single but his social media says otherwise

And many more . . .

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUP (43:27)

It’s been awhile since we’ve done the Hollywood Hookup, but when we heard Michael B. Jordan recently confirmed that he’s single, we had to jump in! Damona and Producer Thomas think Rihanna, Janelle Monae, and Priyanka Chopra would all look good with the star of the upcoming Marvel film Black Panther. What do you think?

 

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