Blog Posts Archives - Damona Hoffman

5 Simple Steps to Date Again After a Breakup

Let’s be real: getting back into the dating game after a breakup, divorce, or just a long pause can feel like learning to walk in heels again: awkward, unsteady, and honestly, a little terrifying.

You might be thinking: What if I’m not ready? What if it’s different now?

Spoiler alert: It is different now. But that doesn’t mean you’re not built for it.

Whether you’re in your late 20s, 30s, or 40s, stepping back into dating isn’t about chasing some perfect outcome. It’s about reconnecting with yourself and creating space for something new. And I promise, it doesn’t have to drain your energy or your self-worth.

Here’s how to ease back in without burning out.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Start Slow

You don’t have to rush. You do not have to rush.

Sometimes we need a soft launch back into the dating world. That might look like updating your profile and then ignoring the apps for a week. Or just having a conversation with someone new, no pressure attached.

Check in with yourself. Are you feeling curious? Or does your gut still need a little healing time? That answer will guide your pace, and that pace is perfect.

2. Get Clear on Your Boundaries and Needs

This time, we’re not dating on autopilot. We’re dating with intention.

Ask yourself: What am I available for now? What do I no longer want to entertain? Whether you’re craving connection, companionship, or something more serious, clarity is everything.

Write down your non-negotiables. Keep them in your phone if you need a reminder. These aren’t walls, they’re your guardrails. They help you stay aligned with your values, even when the chemistry’s strong.

3. Try Just One New Way to Meet People

You don’t need to sign up for every app, agree to every setup, or spend your Saturday speed dating unless that lights you up. Choose one way to dip your toe back in.

Maybe it’s attending a local mixer, trying a single dating app, or saying yes to that invite from your social circle. The goal here is simple: show up. Not to impress. Just to connect.

No pressure. No performance. Just presence.

4. Watch Your Inner Dialogue—Before and After Dates

This one’s big. Because the way you talk to yourself shapes the entire experience.

If you catch yourself saying things like “I’m too old for this” or “No one decent is out there,” pause. Gently reframe. Try: “I’m showing up as my full self.” Or “Every interaction teaches me something new.”

Dating is a learning process. And you don’t need to ace every test; you just need to stay kind to yourself between attempts.

5. Celebrate the Small Wins

Not every date will lead to butterflies or a second meeting, and that’s okay. Progress isn’t always flashy. Sometimes, it looks like:

Updating your profile after months off.
Making it through a first date without overthinking everything.
Saying “no” to someone who didn’t meet your standards.

These are wins. Celebrate them. Progress in dating, like in anything else, is built one small courageous act at a time.

Final Thought: Start Where You Are

Dating again isn’t about being “ready” in some mythical, fully healed way. It’s about being willing. Willing to try, to learn, to stay curious.

You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to be you.

So take a deep breath. Set your pace. Keep your boundaries. Talk to yourself with kindness. And celebrate every single step you take back toward love.

Because you’re not starting over, you’re starting from experience.

Breadcrumbing Is the New Ghosting, and It Hurts More

breadcrumbing in relationships is the new ghosting in dating while single The way we connect with others can be both beautiful and complicated. But not every connection is as genuine as it seems.

Emotional breadcrumbing is a subtle but toxic behavior that can leave you confused, drained, and questioning your worth.

Recognizing it early can save you from unnecessary heartbreak and guide you toward healthier relationships. Let’s explore what emotional breadcrumbing is, how to spot it, and what you can do to protect yourself.

What is Emotional Breadcrumbing?

Emotional breadcrumbing happens when someone gives you just enough attention to keep you interested but never commits to a deeper connection.

It’s like giving you crumbs of affection without ever offering the whole loaf. While it can occur in romantic relationships, it’s also common in friendships or even family dynamics.

Picture this: They send sporadic texts saying, “I miss you” or “We should catch up soon,” but they never make concrete plans. Or, they compliment you just enough to keep you hopeful but always seem busy when you want to spend quality time.

Unlike healthy relationships, where intentions are clear and consistent, breadcrumbing thrives on vagueness and mixed signals. True connections involve effort, mutual respect, and emotional reciprocity. Breadcrumbing, on the other hand, is based on control and selfishness.

Recognizing the Breadcrumbs

How do you know if someone’s breadcrumbing you? Here are some telltale signs:

Inconsistent communication: They might reach out frequently for a week but then vanish for days or weeks without explanation.
Vague promises: Phrases like “Let’s hang out soon” or “I’d love to see you one day” rarely lead to actual meetups.
Minimal effort: They may “like” your social media posts or send you short replies but never engage in meaningful conversations.
Hot and cold behavior: One moment, they seem deeply interested; the next, they’re distant and unavailable.
Empty flattery: They shower you with compliments but fail to follow through with actions that match their words.

Pay attention to these patterns. Breadcrumbing doesn’t show up as one big red flag—it’s a trail of little clues that leave you frustrated and unfulfilled.

The Psychology Behind It

Why would someone breadcrumb you? The reasons often have more to do with them than with you.

Insecurity: Some people crave attention to feel validated but lack the confidence or emotional maturity to commit.
Fear of commitment: They want to keep you around as an option without fully investing in the relationship.
Control and convenience: Breadcrumbing gives them power: they decide when and how much attention to give while keeping their emotional barriers intact.

Understanding the motivations behind breadcrumbing doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it can help you see it for what it is: a reflection of their issues, not your worth.

Why Emotional Breadcrumbing Hurts

Breadcrumbing might seem harmless at first, but its long-term effects can take a serious toll on your mental and emotional well-being.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

rollercoaster of breadcrumbing in relationships and dating while being single When someone breadcrumbs you, they create an illusion of possibility. You might feel excited or hopeful when they give you attention, only to be crushed when they inevitably pull away.

This cycle of highs and lows can drain you emotionally, leaving you confused and questioning what you did wrong. It’s exhausting to invest energy into a connection that never fully materializes, and over time, it can feel like a never-ending ride you can’t escape.

Impact on Self-Worth and Relationships

One of the most damaging effects of breadcrumbing is how it chips away at your self-esteem. Being fed crumbs of attention can make you feel like you’re not deserving of more, but that’s far from the truth.

Breadcrumbing can also impact future relationships. The lingering trust issues, fear of being let down again, and emotional scars can make it harder to open up to someone new. That’s why recognizing it early is so critical.

How to Spot Emotional Breadcrumbing Early

The earlier you identify breadcrumbing, the sooner you can protect yourself. Knowing the signs and trusting your gut are key.

Red Flags to Watch For

Inconsistent effort: They don’t show up for you in meaningful ways or prioritize you in their life.
Avoidance of deep topics: Conversations stay surface-level, avoiding vulnerability or meaningful discussions.
Superficial flattery: Compliments without genuine connection or action, such as saying “You’re amazing” but never asking meaningful questions about your life.

These red flags often appear gradually, so it’s important to reflect on the dynamics of the relationship and be honest with yourself.

Questions to Ask Yourself

If you’re unsure whether someone is breadcrumbing you, ask yourself these questions:

Do their actions consistently match their words?
Do I feel valued and heard, or do I feel like an option?
Am I the one always making an effort to keep the relationship going?
Do I feel uplifted and fulfilled by this connection, or do I feel drained and second-guessed?

Your answers can reveal whether it’s time to set boundaries or walk away altogether.

The Role of Boundaries

Setting boundaries isn’t selfish, it’s essential. Let the other person know what you need from the relationship and what you won’t tolerate. For example, you might say, “I value consistent communication, and if that’s not possible for you, this won’t work for me.”

Boundaries not only protect your emotional health but also make it clear that you won’t settle for less than you deserve.

Breaking Free from Breadcrumbing

If you’ve discovered you’re in a breadcrumbing situation, it’s time to take back control of your emotional well-being.

Acknowledging the Problem

The first step is recognizing and accepting what’s happening. Don’t make excuses for the other person’s behavior. They’ve shown you who they are through their actions. Be honest with yourself, no matter how hard it feels.

Prioritizing Self-Care and Healing

Healing from breadcrumbing requires focusing on yourself. Spend time with supportive friends, journal your feelings, or consider talking to a therapist. Engage in hobbies or activities that bring you joy and self-fulfillment. The goal is to rebuild your sense of self-worth and remind yourself that you deserve meaningful, respectful connections.

Building Future Relationship Resilience

Use the experience as a lesson for the future. Learn to trust your intuition, recognize red flags, and establish boundaries early in relationships. The stronger your sense of self-worth, the harder it’ll be for anyone to breadcrumb you again.

Time to Reclaim Your Energy

Emotional breadcrumbing can feel like emotional quicksand, keeping you stuck in a cycle of hope and disappointment. But you don’t have to stay trapped. By recognizing the signs early, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your emotional health, you can protect yourself and move toward authentic, fulfilling connections.

You deserve more than crumbs. You deserve the whole loaf: someone who values, respects, and shows up for you. Trust yourself to walk away from anything less.

10 Hidden Benefits of Being Single!

Being single often gets lumped into an either/or narrative. You’re either looking for someone or just “enjoying the moment.”

What gets lost in all this noise are the hidden benefits of being single, advantages we rarely talk about, but ones that can truly reshape how we see ourselves and the world.

Here’s a closer look at why the single life may just be the secret source of happiness you didn’t know you had.

1. You’re in Full Control of Your Time

When you’re single, your schedule belongs to you. There’s no need to coordinate plans, check in with anyone, or compromise on how you spend your weekends.

Feel like binge-watching your favorite series for hours or saying yes to a last-minute trip? Go for it. Every decision about your time is completely yours to make, and that kind of autonomy is powerful.

Relationships often require emotional labor and shared schedules, leaving little room for personal spontaneity. Being single gives you the gift of time to pursue what genuinely makes you happy without guilt or hesitation.

2. You Rediscover Who You Really Are

Being single gives you space to turn inward and evaluate what matters most to you, without external influences.

You start to notice what you enjoy, not because a partner likes it, but because you do. From hobbies to values, you get to rediscover the corners of yourself that might’ve been overlooked.

This self-awareness isn’t just empowering; it lays the foundation for more fulfilling relationships if or when you decide to enter one again. Knowing yourself well ensures you bring your best, most authentic self to the table.

3. Financial Freedom is Yours

Splitting expenses or saving for joint goals can be rewarding, but being single allows you to focus solely on your personal financial priorities.

Want to splurge on a new gadget or invest in your dream course? The decision is entirely yours.

You’re not bound by anyone else’s financial habits or goals, which can sometimes be a source of tension in relationships. Singlehood is a time to build, save, and spend in ways that reflect your unique financial vision.

4. You Strengthen Other Relationships

Romantic relationships often demand a significant amount of time and energy, which can unintentionally sideline friendships and family bonds.

When you’re single, you have more space to nurture other connections in your life. This isn’t about filling a void but about truly appreciating the richness of diverse relationships.

Reach out to friends for a coffee date. Reconnect with siblings or parents you’ve missed catching up with. These relationships often deepen when you have more time to genuinely invest in them.

5. No Compromise on Career or Life Goals

Being single means your life decisions are centered around your goals alone. Want to move across the country for a dream job?

There’s no need to factor in anyone else’s preferences. Ambitious career choices, big moves, or starting a new business come with fewer hurdles when you’re making decisions solo.

This self-centered goal setting isn’t selfish—it’s purposeful. Focusing entirely on what drives you ensures you’re building the life you truly want.

6. Your Mental Health Gets Priority

Relationships, even the best ones, come with stress. Arguments, managing expectations, and maintaining emotional intimacy can sometimes weigh heavily.

Being single allows you the space to prioritize your mental health in ways that might not be possible otherwise.

You can develop self-care routines without interruptions, attend therapy sessions without judgment, and focus on healing past wounds. The space to grow emotionally, without the pressure of meeting someone else’s needs, is a rare and valuable gift.

7. You Can Embrace True Independence

Independence isn’t just about paying your own bills or living alone.

It’s about knowing you’re capable of meeting your needs, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Being single forces you to learn how to stand strong on your own.

The confidence that comes from knowing you don’t need someone else is unmatched. And when you eventually choose to share your life with someone, it’ll be from a place of strength, not necessity.

8. You’re Free to Explore Without Limits

Being single is the ultimate green light for exploration.

Whether it’s testing out new hobbies, pursuing different interests, or traveling solo to places you’ve always dreamed of, your options are wide open.

Without the constraints of someone else’s preferences or plans, you can try things you’ve never done before. This kind of freedom often leads to personal discoveries you might’ve never stumbled on in a relationship.

9. You Build a Stronger Relationship With Yourself

At the heart of all the benefits of being single is this: It’s the ultimate time to grow your relationship with yourself.

You learn to enjoy your own company, celebrate your wins, and sit with your thoughts without distraction.

This isn’t about self-love as a catchphrase; it’s about genuinely knowing that you are enough just as you are. Cultivating this level of self-acceptance carries into every future relationship, making them healthier and more balanced.

10. You Develop a Deeper Appreciation for Future Relationships

Ironically, being single can help you better understand what you want in a relationship.

Without the distraction of being in one, you can reflect on your past experiences, understand what worked, and identify what didn’t.

This clarity ensures you’re not settling for “good enough” down the line. You’ll enter any future relationships with a clearer understanding of your needs, boundaries, and desires.

Being Single has its Perks

Being single isn’t a stopgap or a temporary inconvenience, it’s a season with its own beauty and purpose.

The hidden upsides of single life can shape you into a stronger, happier person, ready to take on whatever comes next. So instead of looking at singlehood as something to escape, see it as a time to embrace and celebrate.

Your relationship status doesn’t define your worth. What defines you is how you choose to live, grow, and thrive…single or not.

9 Quick Ways to Spring Clean Your Dating Profile

Online dating is much like any other aspect of life—it benefits from regular maintenance. If you’ve been swiping with no success or your matches feel stale, it’s probably time to refresh your profile.

Think of it as spring cleaning for your online dating presence. With a few strategic updates based on proven methods, you can make your profile more engaging, approachable, and reflective of who you truly are.

Below, we’ll break down expert steps to give your dating profile the boost it needs.

1. Evaluate Your Current Profile

Before making changes, evaluate what’s already there. Is your profile still accurate? Are the photos and bio reflective of your current self?

Identify Your App Type: Did you know that there are four types of dating apps? Legacy (like Match or OkCupid), Swipe (Tinder, Bumble), Curated (Coffee Meets Bagel, eHarmony), and Niche ( JDate or Loosid). Different app types work better for different dating styles, so choose what fits your approach.
Analyze Engagement: Review how your profile has performed recently. Are you getting likes, matches, or meaningful messages? If those numbers are lower than you’d like, it might be time for a revamp.
Ask for Feedback: Friends, especially those who’ve had success with dating apps, can provide valuable insight. A fresh set of eyes will catch details you might overlook.

2. Refresh Your Photos Using “The Three Cs”

Your pictures are the first thing potential matches notice—don’t underestimate their power. The expert “Three Cs” approach can transform your photo lineup:

Color: Wear bold colors to stand out in a sea of profiles. Research shows that red particularly increases perceived attractiveness, especially for women. But any color will stand out from an endless swipe of Little Black Dresses. A vibrant background can also draw attention if you’re not into wearing bold clothing
Context: Show yourself in environments that tell a story about your life. If you love hiking, include a trail photo. If you’re a foodie, share a dining experience. These visual cues spark conversation better than words.
Character: Reveal your personality through your expressions and activities. Include at least one photo that shows your unique spirit or sense of humor.

Remember: “Your profile is only as good as your worst photo,” and the order matters. Lead with your strongest image, and absolutely avoid filters—they signal inauthenticity.

3. Rewrite Your Bio Through Storytelling

Your bio is your sales pitch. Storytelling beats listing traits every time.

Trade Lists for Stories: Instead of writing “I love hiking, movies, and cooking,” share a mini-story like “My dad taught me to say hello to strangers and clap at airplane landings. I blush when someone opens my door, cry at romantic movies, and make the best Thanksgiving pumpkin pie.”
Use Passion Words: Swap boring words (like, enjoy, nice, fun, great) for passion words (love, exciting, explore, fascinating, driven, thrilling, compelling). These evoke stronger emotional responses.
Include Elements That Connect: It’s recommended that you focus on three key bio elements:
- Nostalgia: Share positive memories that create an immediate connection
- Values: Demonstrate what matters to you through stories, not statements
- Humility: Show self-awareness and the ability to laugh at yourself
Include a Conversation Starter: Add something that makes it easy for matches to message you about.

4. Highlight Your Interests with Keywords

Your profile should paint a complete picture of who you are. Interests and hobbies are perfect connection points with like-minded matches.

Use Keyword Strategy: Searching profiles for keywords (like “motorcycle” or “travel”) often yields better matches than relying on the app’s algorithm. Include specific keywords related to your passions to make yourself findable.
Focus on What Makes You Feel Alive: Share activities that you would describe with passion words. Research shows mentions of travel, dogs, or music tend to get the most engagement because people speak passionately about these topics.
Create Vivid Images: Instead of simply stating “I love music,” write something like “Friday nights in my childhood home were filled with Aretha Franklin records and endless games of Spades” to paint a picture of your experience.
Be Authentic: Don’t list interests that don’t truly excite you. Authenticity attracts people who’ll connect with the real you.

5. Revisit Your Match Preferences

Sometimes, your dating preferences might be too narrow: ” death by dating deal breaker.”

Do the Dating Math: Each requirement dramatically reduces your pool of potential matches. For example, requiring someone over 6 feet tall immediately eliminates about 85% of men. Being too selective across multiple criteria can mathematically eliminate everyone!
Focus on Deal Breakers vs. Must-Haves: Have just ONE true deal breaker and only THREE must-haves. This keeps your options open while still honoring your core needs.
Evaluate Your Filtering: Are you filtering for traits that actually predict compatibility? Reconsider superficial criteria in favor of values alignment and shared goals.
Be Open to Surprises: Many successful matches come from expanding beyond rigid “types.”

6. Double-Check for Grammar and Clarity

A profile full of typos or unclear statements sends the wrong message. Your written content should be polished and easy to understand.

Proofread Thoroughly: Read your bio carefully to ensure there are no spelling errors, grammatical mistakes, or awkward phrasing.
Keep It Concise: Avoid lengthy paragraphs. Aim for short, impactful sentences that get your point across.
Consider AI Assistance: Use AI text generators to help craft profiles as long as the information remains authentic to you. If you struggle with writing, this tool can help you find the right words.
Read It Aloud: Hearing your profile read out loud helps you catch anything that sounds off or unnatural.

7. Protect Your Privacy

Sharing too much personal information can put you at risk. It’s important to balance openness with safety.

Get a Dating Burner Phone: Safety experts recommend using a secondary phone number for dating contacts. One easy way to do this is by utilizing Google Voice. Avoid giving out your personal phone number
Limit Personal Details: Avoid including your last name, address, or workplace in your profile. It’s enough to share your general city or profession.
Set Boundaries: Think about what you’re comfortable sharing with matches upfront versus what can wait until you’ve built trust.
Trust Your Gut: If a match behaves suspiciously, report their profile through the app’s safety features. Your well-being always comes first.

8. Revamp Your Messaging Approach

Even the best profile won’t lead to meaningful connections if you’re not engaging with your matches thoughtfully. Try these specific communication strategies:

Use the Callback Technique: Reference something previously discussed to reinvigorating text threads that have gone quiet. For example, if a match mentioned a restaurant they love, send a picture when you walk by it with “This made me think of you!”
Remember Texting is for Information, Not Conversation: Save deeper conversations for in-person meetings. Use texting primarily to coordinate and build light rapport.
Craft Better Openers: Ditch “Hey” or “What’s up?” Instead, reference something in their bio or photos that genuinely interests you.

9. Explore Features on Dating Apps

Most apps have tools that can increase your chances of finding matches—use them to your advantage.

Leverage Keyword Searches: On apps like OkCupid that allow searching profiles for keywords, use this feature to find matches with shared specific interests rather than relying solely on the algorithm.
Answer Prompts Thoughtfully: Choose prompts that highlight your personality, creativity, or humor. Make responses specific rather than generic.
Consider Paying for Premium: While not necessary, premium features can sometimes give you insights into who’s already liked you, saving time and energy.
Try Profile Boosts: Many platforms offer features to increase your visibility for a short window. Use these strategically when you know more people are active (Sunday evenings are often peak usage times).

Spring cleaning your dating profile goes beyond just updating photos or rewriting your bio—it’s about presenting an authentic version of yourself that attracts the right people. The best dating methods emphasize values-based connections, storytelling, and intentional communication.

Remember that dating is not about quantity but quality connections. When you represent yourself authentically and focus on your true relationship goals, you create opportunities for meaningful relationships.

Take the time to implement these steps and watch your matches improve. Whether you’re looking for casual conversations or a serious relationship, a refreshed profile opens the door to endless possibilities. Now, go make that profile sparkle!

Are you looking for more in-depth help with your dating app profile? Check out our Profile Starter Kit.

woman looking at her phone after has been scammed by an online catfish romance scammer

Love Bombing or True Love? 10 Ways to Spot Romance Scams

“He told me I am his soulmate but won’t video chat with me.”

Online dating can feel like a thrilling adventure, but not every match has good intentions. Romance scams, designed to prey on emotions and wallets, are on the rise. Scammers create fake profiles, build trust, and manipulate their targets into sending money or sharing personal information. Spotting the red flags early is crucial to protecting yourself.

Here’s how to recognize and avoid romance scams while keeping your heart and bank account safe:

They Move the Conversation Off the App Quickly

A common tactic scammers use is asking to switch to text, email, or another messaging platform. They might say the dating app “isn’t secure” or they rarely check the app so they prefer to text or use WhatsApp. While it might seem harmless, this allows them to avoid being flagged by the app’s security systems and it disrupts the chain of information making them harder to track

Stick to communicating through the app in the early stages, especially if something about their behavior feels off. Scammers often want to control the narrative away from platform monitoring.

Their Profile Seems Perfect—Maybe Too Perfect

Does their profile read like a dream? Gorgeous photos, a great job abroad, and a life you’ve only seen in movies? Be cautious. Scammers often paint an idealized version of themselves to hook victims.

Look for inconsistencies. Does their bio seem to conflict with what you see in pictures? Do the pictures include a lot of group shots, sunglasses, or elements that make it unclear what the person actually looks like? Reverse search their photos to see if they appear on unrelated accounts or websites. Authenticity isn’t flawless—real people have quirks, imperfection, and natural details.

They Profess Love Too Quickly

Genuine connections take time. Scammers, however, often will Love Bomb you. They might declare feelings of love after just a handful of conversations. Grand, romantic language like, “You’re my soulmate,” or, “I’ve never felt like this before,” is common bait.

Be wary if declarations of love happen before you’ve even met in person. Real relationships grow over time, not overnight

They’re Always ‘Unavailable’ to Meet in Person

Does your match always have a reason they can’t meet? Scammers often claim to live or work far away, making in-person interactions impossible. Favorites include being stationed overseas in the military, working on an oil rig, or completing a project in another country.

While long-distance relationships can be real, persistent excuses for avoiding face-to-face or video calls are a red flag. A genuine partner will want to connect beyond texts.

They Create Emotional Sob Stories

Scammers excel at storytelling. They’ll often share tragic tales to evoke your sympathy. They might talk about losing a loved one, battling an illness, or facing financial hardship. This is all part of building emotional trust.

Ask yourself: Is the story consistent, or does it conveniently shift to justify a new request? Emotional manipulation is a cornerstone of romance scams.

They Ask for Money or Financial Assistance

This is the biggest red flag. Whether it’s a loan for an unexpected emergency, travel costs to visit you, or help with “frozen” bank accounts, any request for money should raise immediate alarm bells, even if it’s an unbelievable crypto investment that they believe will surely pay off in the future. It won’t!

Scammers might also frame it in ways that seem temporary or unintrusive, like asking for gift cards. And of course gift cards can’t be tracked so that allows them a clean and easy getaway. Always remember: a genuine partner won’t ask for financial help, especially so early in a relationship.

Grammar and Communication Might Not Match Their Profile

Does their polished persona on the app mismatch their writing? Scammers often use fake profiles but struggle with grammar or phrasing that doesn’t align with the professional image they project.

Watch for inconsistencies in tone, frequent typos, or clunky responses. Poor communication skills can signal that you’re not speaking to who you think. Conversely if it seems over-written or unnaturally formal, they are mostly likely using A.I. to sound more believable.

They Avoid Answering Direct Questions

When you ask simple questions, do they deflect or change the subject? Scammers avoid revealing details that could expose their lies. They might give vague answers or tell you they’re too busy to respond thoughtfully.

This is a manipulative tactic to keep the focus on emotions rather than facts. If their stories feel shallow or evasive, your gut is probably right.

Their Sob Story Leads to a Crisis

After earning your trust, scammers often stage a sudden “crisis.” They’ll say their wallet got stolen, a relative needs emergency surgery, or their business deal fell through. These situations almost always result in a plea for financial help.

Stay firm—don’t send money, no matter how heartbreaking their tale might sound. Scammers will often disappear as soon as their demands are met.

They Pressure You to Act Fast

Scammers create urgency as part of their scheme. Whether it’s needing money “today” to resolve an issue or pushing you to commit emotionally, they thrive on making you act without thinking.

If someone you’ve never met is applying pressure, take a step back. Healthy, real relationships respect time and boundaries.

Protect Yourself: Stay Vigilant and Trust Your Instincts

Romance scams prey on the desire for love and connection. Awareness is your best defense. Stay cautious by keeping the conversation on verified platforms, looking for inconsistencies, and avoiding financial entanglements.

Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it’s okay to walk away. Real love isn’t built on secrecy, pressure, or manipulation—it’s grounded in trust, honesty, and mutual respect.

By staying alert, you can protect yourself while searching for a relationship that’s truly worth your time and energy.

Learn more about spotting a romance scam in this episode of the Dates & Mates podcast

Valentine's Day, galentine's day date ides for couples, situationship, friends and singles.

5 Valentine’s Day Ideas for Every Relationship Status

Valentine’s Day can feel overwhelming with its focus on couples and traditional celebrations, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Whether you’re happily single, navigating a situationship, or celebrating with a partner or friends, this day is about your definition of love.

Forget the clichés and discover creative, refreshing ways to make this Valentine’s Day memorable, no matter your relationship status. Keep reading for inspiring ideas tailored just for you

For Couples Who Want to Reconnect and Celebrate Love

Romantic relationships need moments of connection. These ideas help couples prioritize their bond thoughtfully:

1. Plan a Candlelit Dinner at Home

Instead of battling restaurant crowds, create a romantic dinner date at home. Cook together, choose a meaningful recipe, or even attempt making new dishes you’ve never tried before. Add elements like candles, DIY place cards, or a shared playlist to build intimacy and coordination as a team.

2. Adventure Together Outdoors

Try hiking at a scenic spot, signing up for tandem rock climbing, or visiting a nature reserve. Couples wanting extra adrenaline can try zip-lining or a hot air balloon ride. Adventures not only strengthen bonds, but also bring out fun, refreshing sides of your partner.

3. DIY Mini Spa Night

Transform your bedroom into a relaxation retreat with facials for two, soothing massages, aromatherapy, and herbal teas. Use any downtime to share thoughts, making this a great wind-down moment while strengthening intimacy.

4. Revisit Shared Memories

Create a photo album or journal of your favorite moments. Couples often forget how small, shared joys keep relationships vibrant, so discussing these can help you reconnect deeply.

5. Starry Stargazing Date

Head to an open-air space for stargazing. Add hot cocoa, a blanket, and maybe even download a constellation app to track celestial formations. It’s personal, meaningful, and a perfect end to your celebrations.

For Situationships: Keep It Fun, Light, and Pressure-Free

Situationships thrive on casual creativity. These ideas balance light-hearted fun with room to explore connections together:

1. Host a Themed Movie Night

Decide on a theme like nostalgic rom-coms or indie horror films. Build your setting with cozy cushions, blankets, snacks, and even quirky pre-movie word games like character prediction.

2. Pick Cooking as the Adventure

Sign up for interactive classes locally or virtually. Culinary collaboration, even with basic skills, can nurture bonds and lots of laughs equally. Try learning a purely fun pastry (or dessert) this Valentine’s.

3. Casual City Museum Day

Explore art gallery installations or local events that don’t scream intensity. Wander privately between galleries; focus shifts from “label pressure” into discovering shared conversation responses indirectly.

4. Attend a Comedy Show or Open Mic

Catch a comedy show, improv night, or open mic event. Laughter is a powerful way to bond, and the shared experience helps take the awkwardness out of figuring out what to do on Valentine’s night.

5. Outdoor Adventure Date

Take it casual yet exciting with an outdoor activity like mini-golf, paddle-boating, or visiting a food truck festival. The key is to keep the atmosphere fun and easygoing, giving you time to enjoy the day without the weight of traditional expectations.

For Singles: Love Yourself First and Celebrate Independence

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about romance. Use the day to celebrate you and prioritize self-care, growth, and joy:

1. Treat Yourself to a Self-Care Marathon

Start the day with a luxurious skincare routine, soak in a bubble bath with candles, and wear comfy pajamas. Follow up with your favorite movie and a meal you love—because you deserve it.

2. Explore New Adventures Solo

Visit a nearby town, take a nature walk, or explore a museum on your own. Use the day as a chance to connect with yourself and reflect on what makes you happy.

3. Dive Into a Creative Hobby

Rediscover your passions or pick up a new craft. Painting, writing, music, or adult coloring books are fantastic ways to tap into your inner creativity. End the day with a sense of accomplishment.

4. Go on a Bookstore & Coffee Date (with Yourself!)

Spend hours at a local bookstore, picking out books that excite or relax you. Pair this with a coffee shop moment to enjoy your new finds.

5. Splurge on a Gift for Yourself

Whether it’s a new gadget, a stylish outfit, or gourmet chocolate, buy yourself something you’ve been wanting. Valentine’s Day can be a reminder of how much you’re worth.

For Friends (Galentine’s Day): Celebrate Friendship with Joy & Connection

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples—it’s the perfect excuse to show your friends some love:

1. Host a Potluck Brunch

Invite your closest friends to bring their favorite dishes. Set the table with vibrant decorations and toast to shared laughs and memories. Bonus: Make themed heart-shaped foods.

2. DIY Craft Party

Gather supplies for candle-making, painting plant pots, or creating vision boards. Crafts work well for building light-hearted moments and cherished keepsakes.

3. Try a Cooking Contest

Divide into teams, assign a unique dish (appetizers, desserts, etc.), and compete in a friendly cook-off. Let the judging focus on fun and creativity, not perfection.

4. Plan a Movie Marathon

Watch irreverent comedies, nostalgic classics, or cheesy rom-coms. Prepare themed snacks (like popcorn with quirky toppings) to keep it festive.

5. Host an Outdoor Picnic

Fill a basket with charcuterie boards, desserts, sandwiches, or drinks. Bring yard games like frisbee or cards and enjoy a relaxing afternoon outdoors.

For Long-Distance Relationships: Thoughtful Ways to Show Love Across Miles

Long distance doesn’t mean the love isn’t felt. Try these creative ideas to make it meaningful, even from afar:

1. Plan a Virtual Movie Night

Use tools like Teleparty to sync a movie. Pair it with video chatting and your favorite snacks to make it feel like you’re experiencing the moment together.

2. Send a Personalized Care Package

Include their favorite snacks, small gifts, inside jokes, or even handwritten letters. Add something unique like a playlist or printed photos for a personal touch.

3. Cook the Same Meal Over a Call

Choose a new recipe to try and prepare it together while video chatting. Compare results and share laughs throughout the process.

4. Exchange Love Letters

Go old-school and mail handwritten letters. Letters offer deep personal connection, and the anticipation of receiving them is exciting.

5. Play Online Games Together

Choose fun trivia, puzzle games, or cooperative video games. Bonding over virtual play can help create laughter and shared experiences.

Make Valentine’s Day what YOU want it to be!

Valentine’s Day is a chance to celebrate love in all its forms—romantic, platonic, and most importantly, self-love. No matter your relationship status, the key is to make the day personal and meaningful. Whether you’re building connections, strengthening bonds, or focusing on yourself, these ideas provide inspiration to create moments worth cherishing.

This Valentine’s Day, focus less on expectations and more on celebrating love in the way that feels most authentic to you. After all, love isn’t one-size-fits-all—it’s about what brings you joy.

12 Unique Holiday Date Ideas That’ll Spark Connection

The holidays are a magical time to connect, share laughs, and create memories. Whether it’s a first date or rekindling old flames, finding unique date ideas can make all the difference. We’ve put together creative, meaningful, and fun holiday experiences to impress and build a genuine bond.

1. Holiday Lights Walk

Bundle up, grab some hot cocoa, and take a stroll through a holiday lights display. Many neighborhoods or city parks transform into winter wonderlands this time of year. Walking side-by-side gives you time to talk, while the festive lights create the perfect atmosphere.

2. Gingerbread House Building

Get hands-on with a little friendly competition. Buy a gingerbread house kit or make your own components if you’re feeling ambitious. Decorating together sparks creativity and allows for plenty of laughs when things don’t go as planned. Bonus: you can enjoy some sweet treats along the way.

3. Holiday Market Stroll

Wander through a local holiday market or craft fair. The cozy booths, festive music, and hot drinks create a cheerful vibe. You can shop for small gifts or trinkets while sharing stories about favorite holiday traditions.

4. Ice Skating Adventure

Whether you’re a seasoned skater or a total beginner, an ice-skating outing is charming and fun. Holding hands while gliding—or wobbling—across the ice naturally builds a connection. Follow it up with warm drinks at a nearby café.

5. Home Movie Night with Holiday Classics

Transform your living room into a holiday theater. Pick classic holiday movies, gather soft blankets, and enjoy popcorn or seasonal snacks. This cozy option lets you relax without the distractions of a crowded theater.

6. Charity Volunteering Together

Spread holiday cheer by giving back. Sign up to serve meals at a shelter, host a toy drive, or pack care packages together. You’ll connect on a deeper level through shared purpose and compassion. Plus, it feels great to help others during the season.

7. Holiday-Themed Escape Room

If you both enjoy puzzles, this is a fun way to test your teamwork. Many escape rooms offer holiday-themed challenges this time of year. Working side-by-side to “escape” gives you insight into how the other person communicates and thinks.

8. Wine Tasting with Seasonal Pairings

Visit a local winery or wine bar offering seasonal tasting menus. Savoring wines paired with holiday snacks or desserts sets the mood. You can chat about your preferences and learn something new together in a relaxed, cozy setting.

9. Christmas Tree Farm Outing

Head to a local Christmas tree farm to pick out a tree (if they need one) or just enjoy the atmosphere. Roam under the evergreens together, sip apple cider, and maybe even snap a photo or two. It’s an easy way to enjoy classic holiday charm.

10. Cooking a Festive Meal Together

Skip the crowded restaurants and plan a holiday cooking night at home. Choose fun, festive recipes—like roasted veggies, spiced cookies, or mulled wine. Cooking together is an intimate way to bond, share laughs over mishaps, and enjoy a homemade meal.

11. Winter Hike with Scenic Views

Not all holiday dates need to be indoors. If you both enjoy nature, bundle up for a winter hike. Many trails are quieter this time of year, and snow-dusted landscapes can feel almost magical. Pack a thermos with warm drinks to share at the summit.

12. Festive DIY Ornament Crafting

Bring out your creative sides by making holiday ornaments together. Whether simple or elaborate, it’s an activity that encourages laughter and teamwork. You’ll leave with mementos you can both cherish, no matter where the relationship leads.

Conclusion

Holiday dates don’t need to be complicated or expensive to be special. By focusing on shared activities, creativity, and the season’s warmth, you’ll leave a lasting impression. Whether skating under twinkling lights or crafting ornaments, these unique holiday ideas go beyond the ordinary and help build genuine connections. Get out there, have fun, and let the holiday magic work its charm.

The Great Dating Power Shift: Who Really Makes the Rules Now?

Dating today looks different than it did just a few decades ago. Gender roles, once rigid and predictable, are now more fluid and open to interpretation.

As traditional expectations shift, single women aged 20-45 are navigating these evolving dynamics in their search for love.

Let’s look at how gender roles play out in modern dating and what it means for women stepping into the dating world in an era that values balance and equality.

Are Traditional Gender Roles Still Relevant?

Some of us wonder if traditional gender roles still hold sway in a world that champions individuality. In past decades, men were typically expected to make the first move, pay for dates, and take on the role of the protector. Meanwhile, women were often seen as the nurturers, the ones to be “wooed.”

Fast forward to today, and we’re seeing more of a mixed approach. Many Gen Z daters are grappling with questions like, “Who should pay on the first date?” While some believe men should always foot the bill, others argue for the importance of sharing financial responsibility.

But here’s the truth, as noted in “F the Fairy Tale”: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, dating should feel like a dance, not a tug-of-war. Reevaluate outdated scripts and embrace authenticity in relationships.

The First Move: Who Makes It?

A growing number of women feel empowered to take the lead when it comes to asking someone out. For some, it’s a clear rejection of old-school norms. However, others still appreciate when men initiate—the key is understanding and respecting each person’s individual preferences.

We also see this reflected on dating apps. Bumble initially launched as the app where women make the first move and although they have recently rolled that back and allow anyone to initiate a chat after matching, it caused us to reevaluate antiquated rules about who makes the first move.

In fact, OkCupid data revealed that conversations lasted twice as long when women messaged first so there are tangible benefits behind shaking up gender rules. Ultimately, what we’re striving for is balance—a dynamic where both partners feel equally valued and invested.

Sharing or Splitting Responsibilities?

The topic of finances in dating often sparks debate. Should men continue paying for most dates, or should we share the cost? Surveys suggest opinions are divided. Some women prefer traditional chivalry and view it as a sign of effort, while others see shared expenses as reflective of an egalitarian partnership.

Cultural expectations influence these choices, too. For example, studies highlight how some Australian women still lean toward traditional dating scripts. Their preference often aligns with broader societal values they grew up with.

In contrast, many women today are financially independent and don’t feel comfortable allowing someone else to always pay. Splitting helps them maintain autonomy and signals respect for mutual effort.

We also hear confusion from LGBTQ daters around bill-splitting. Overall, for daters of all genders, it seems that the fairest thing is for the person who asked to offer to pay or to “go dutch.”

Shifting Expectations Around Masculinity

One of the most intriguing currentdating trends focuses on reimagining masculinity. Articles discuss “open-hearted masculinity,” which redefines male roles in relationships. The focus shifts from dominance to emotional vulnerability, recognizing that closeness and trust build lasting connections.

Women are seeking men who listen, communicate openly, and show emotional awareness. These modern “masculine traits” challenge outdated gender stereotypes, helping couples create healthier dynamics.

Are We Doing Things “Right”?

It’s easy to feel unsure about where we stand when navigating updated relationship dynamics. One partner might prefer traditional gestures, while the other sees them as outdated. This clash of expectations can lead to misunderstandings.

So, how do we navigate these issues? Simple—communication. Talk openly about what makes each of you comfortable. Are thoughtful actions, like opening doors, appreciated or unnecessary? Is it important that one person leads, or does balance feel better? When both partners listen, they’re more likely to find common ground.

The Bottom Line on Gender Roles in Dating

The days of strict gender roles in dating are fading, but that doesn’t mean they’re gone entirely. Instead, modern dating sees a fusion of old and new. Some people still hold on to classic ideas, while others embrace flexibility.

Ultimately, finding love requires authenticity. Be upfront about what feels natural to you. Whether you enjoy chivalry or prefer splitting the check, there’s no wrong way—just what works best in your relationship.

Stop striving for what’s ‘normal.’ Start building the love story that works for you.

Dating is less about conforming to rules and more about creating mutual happiness. Instead of worrying whether you’re doing it “right,” focus on what feels genuine. With communication, respect, and balance, modern relationships can surpass outdated molds—and lead us to meaningful connections.

single and sitting around the thanksgiving dinner table being asked if they are single.

Single for the Holidays? Here’s How to Handle Nosy Family Questions

Holidays can be heartwarming—gathered around the table, enjoying laughs, and sharing stories. But for singles, they can also bring relentless questioning.

“Why are you still single?” or “Are you dating anyone?” suddenly become the headliners of family conversations. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone in dreading that annual pressure.

Let’s unpack how to navigate these moments with grace, humor, and confidence.

Understanding Family Dynamics

Whether it’s your chatty aunt or a curious cousin, families love updates. Often, this stems from a genuine concern or love for you.

However, the constant focus on your relationship status can feel isolating if you’re single. Families tend to project their views about milestones—relationships, marriage, kids—onto younger generations.

It’s less about personal attacks and more about their expectations of “what’s next” for you. But that doesn’t make it any easier to sit through.

Common Questions You Might Hear

Here’s a sneak peek at the greatest hits you might hear this holiday season:

“Why are you still single?”: Often said as though your relationship status is a puzzle to solve.
“Have you tried dating apps?”: As if they’ve cracked modern romance.
“Don’t you want kids?”: A question that could not feel more personal.
“I know someone perfect for you!”: Cue the awkward blind-date matchmaking.

No matter the intent, these phrases can feel invasive.

The Pressure of Expectations

Family dynamics create moments where expectations rise like an invisible fog.

For singles, there’s often the unspoken assumption that the ultimate life goal is finding a partner. If you’re content in your singlehood, it might feel invalidated by repeated questioning.

The result? Stress, self-doubt, or frustration by the time dessert is served. Understanding this dynamic can help you take a compassionate approach—even as you find strategies to manage the discomfort.

Coping Strategies for Singles

Here are ways to shield your peace when conversations about your singlehood arise.

Prepare Your Responses

Having a response ready makes unexpected questions much less awkward. Use humor, honesty, or even deflection, depending on the mood:

Humor: “I figured I’d save room at the table for extra pie instead of a partner.”

Honest but firm: “I’m happy where I am right now—thanks for asking.”

Playful: “Still single! Any takers here know Prince Harry’s backup cousin?”

Practice these responses ahead of time to deliver them calmly and with a smile.

Shift the Focus

When conversations veer into uncomfortable territory, subtly change the topic. Ask about their hobbies, interests, or holiday plans. It’s easier to dodge questions when you steer the conversation elsewhere. For example:

“Enough about me! How’s your new project going?”

“Speaking of relationships, how did you and Uncle Bob first meet?”

Redirecting the spotlight can take the pressure off you.

Practice Self-Care

Family gatherings can be draining, so prioritize checking in with yourself.

Whether it’s stepping outside for fresh air or finding a quiet corner for a moment to breathe, don’t underestimate the power of small breaks.

If staying overnight, bring comforting items like a book or playlist to unwind.

Self-care also means knowing when to say no—don’t overextend yourself for anyone’s expectations.

Finding Joy in Being Single

The holidays are an excellent time to celebrate where you are in life—single, dating, or otherwise.

Celebrating Independence

Being single means ultimate flexibility. You control your decisions, your time, and how you enjoy the season.

Want to binge a feel-good movie marathon? Go for it. Interested in splurging on a gift for yourself? You deserve it.

Embrace your freedom during the holidays rather than feeling pressured by societal norms.

Creating Your Own Traditions

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, create traditions that celebrate you.

Cook your favorite festive meal, decorate your space exactly how you want, or host a “Friendsmas” with other singles.

These personalized traditions can make the holiday season feel refreshing and rewarding.

When to Seek Support

If holiday stress feels overwhelming, seeking support can help.

Building a Support Network

Friends and like-minded communities can offer a buffer. Some friends may also struggle with similar family conversations, so lean on each other.

Plan outings or virtual catch-ups between holiday gatherings to decompress and share laughs.

Professional Help

If the pressure and comments about your singlehood feel too heavy, consider speaking with a therapist. They can provide tools to manage stress, set boundaries, or respond to tough conversations.

Find Your Joy!

The holidays aren’t just about family traditions—they’re a reminder to find joy, regardless of your relationship status.

By preparing responses, shifting the focus, and embracing your independence, you can transform uncomfortable moments into opportunities for self-assurance.

Stay confident, surround yourself with supportive people, and enjoy the season exactly as you are: whole, complete, and thriving.

How to Decode Mixed Messages

We’ve all been there – on the other end of texts, DMs, or in-person interactions that seem to carry hidden meanings, leaving us teetering on the edge of confusion. The ability to decode mixed messages is a skill that transcends personal and professional realms alike. It’s about peeling back the layers of ambiguity and gaining insight into the genuine meaning beneath.

From examining the reasons behind mixed messages to strategies for clearer communication, this guide will empower you to become a more astute interpreter of human interaction.

Here are some tips on how to decode mixed messages:

Escape The Texting Trap: The allure of texting lies in its convenience, but it’s also a breeding ground for misunderstanding. A concise response could indicate your match’s communication style or potentially signal disinterest. But if you’re uncertain, remember that opting for a call or an in-person conversation might provide the clarity you seek.

Nix Early Exclusivity: In an age where opportunities abound, people like to keep their options open. You are not exclusive until proven otherwise so try to embrace the discovery in the first few weeks or months and don’t be in too much of a rush to demand a commitment.
Don’t Play It Cool: One common pitfall is pretending to be casual when you’re yearning for something more. Being authentic about your feelings prevents the heartache that often arises from misaligned intentions. Prioritize your emotional well-being and be truthful about your desires.

Teasing and Tension: Teasing, often misunderstood, can be an intriguing mixed signal. Embracing a lighthearted banter reveals layers of interest beneath the surface. In today’s dating landscape, showcasing a sense of humor and demonstrating your ability to engage playfully can be incredibly attractive. However, if a line is crossed, address your discomfort promptly before frustration festers.
Translating What’s Unspoken: Confused about something they said? Here are some translations for common miscommunications…
- Maybe we should hang out sometime. = I’m interested in more than friendship but I’m trying to play it cool.
- What’s up with your friend? = I’m not interested in you; I’m interested in your friend.
- What are you looking for? = Are you seeking a serious relationship or not, be honest.
- I’m going to that party. = I want to spend more time with you; please come to the party – and maybe even suggest we go together.
- I’ll see you around. = I see you as a friend, not a romantic interest.
- I’m single. = Could mean that they are still dating others but not in a committed relationship.
- I’m not looking for anything serious. = I’m not looking for anything serious (don’t waste your time if you are.)

Communication is a dynamic landscape influenced by culture, technology, and individuality. So when getting to know your match, keep in mind that navigating communication is a fusion of understanding timeless human behavior and adapting to the ever-changing ways we connect.

First Date Conversation Tips

Finding love and companionship has taken on a new dimension, with online dating becoming the norm rather than the exception. While dating apps offer exciting opportunities to connect with potential partners, one of the key aspects of a successful date, whether online or offline, is the ability to hold a captivating conversation. But don’t worry; this isn’t about being the funniest person in the room or having the perfect pick-up lines. It’s about being genuine, passionate, and creating a comfortable atmosphere for both you and your date.

Below are some first date conversation tips to keep your date from turning into another boring interview:

Pre-select topics with passion: Your authenticity will shine through in your conversation when you come to the date prepared to discuss things you genuinely care about. While starting with media and pop culture can be a good icebreaker, remember to transition into other meaningful topics as the conversation progresses.
Share stories that define you: Our personal experiences make us unique, and sharing these experiences is a great way to let your date see the real you. Think about defining moments in your life or childhood anecdotes that give insight into your character and values. Offering personal stories creates a deeper connection – and while you shouldn’t dominate the conversation, having a couple of compelling stories in your back pocket will help when the time is right.
Ask the right questions: Being a great conversationalist is actually more about being a good listener than being a good talker. Pay attention to what your date says and respond with specific questions about their interests or experiences. Most people love talking about themselves, and showing genuine interest in their lives will make them feel valued and appreciated. Also remember to strike a balance between sharing your own stories and asking about theirs to keep the conversation flowing naturally.
Read the room and adjust: Read your date’s cues during the conversation, be flexible and adapt to the flow of the discussion. If they seem enthusiastic about a topic, explore it further. If a subject doesn’t resonate with them, gracefully transition to something else. Remember, a successful date is not about impressing someone but making a meaningful connection.
Study their profile: Before your date, take the time to study the person’s dating app profile if you met online. Make a curiosity list of things you’d like to know more about before you leave for the date. This allows you to pick up on common interests and talking points, making it easier to steer the conversation in the right direction. Demonstrating that you’ve taken the time to read and remember their profile shows genuine care and consideration, and increases the chances of a successful date.

All in all, successful online dating is not just about making as many matches and going on as many dates as possible.; It’s about mastering the art of engaging conversation. By being authentic, passionate, and attentive, you can create a comfortable and enjoyable atmosphere for both you and your date.

How To Choose The Right Dating App For You

If your social circle is set and your leisure time is limited, as it is for most modern adults, dating apps are the best bang for your buck in love. Online dating presents an amazing opportunity to date in the little free time you have left and to connect with like-minded singles.

But with the introduction of swipe technology and an array of dating apps to choose from, where do you even start with online dating?

Here’s an outline of the 4 types of apps, the people that like them, and the most common traps of each one:

1. Traditional Apps – Match, Plenty of Fish, or OkCupid. Dating apps like Match, Plenty of Fish, or OkCupid provide a lot of opportunity and give you a chance to try out a bunch of different matches. However, they do require a clear process and strategy to filter out the desired matches out of thousands of possibilities.

- Type of Dater: You like options. You need a dating app that has tons of possibilities and different ways to search through your options.
- The 3 Traps:
  - Spending too many frustrating hours filtering to find the best people – hello maximizers, I see you.
  - The overwhelming feeling that comes with an inbox dominated by DMs from the wrong people.
  - Exhaustion after wasting so much time matching, chatting, and going on dead end dates.

2. Swipe Apps – Bumble and Tinder. These are excellent for busy singles who are newer to dating and want to get started fast with a wide range of options. The downside is it’s hard to find the right committed match since these profiles don’t give you a lot of information about the person on the other side. You can get stuck in the texting trap or in the messaging phase, and you need a clear strategy for navigating from the app into the real world before they ghost.

- Type of Dater: You are looking for a wide range of options and easy connection.
- The 3 Traps:
  - Feeling like you don’t know enough about your matches up front and then you waste time going on too many of the wrong dates.
  - Overwhelm in the match and message process – you may even think “I wish someone could do this part for me.”
  - The disappointment that comes with thinking you know someone, meeting in person and finding you’re not quite compatible.

3. Niche Apps – JDate and Christian Mingle. If you know that there is a particular quality, interest, or cultural element that is of the utmost importance to you, this kind of app provides you with the matches that meet your criteria. Unfortunately, apps like these have smaller dating pools. It can often feel like nothing is happening if you don’t know how to search your options and pick the right matches.

- Type of Dater: You are focused on finding a partner who shares your values and interests. Apps with too many unqualified options feel like a waste of time to you. If it’s a specific quality you’re looking for in a partner, there’s a high chance you can find an app for it.
- The 3 Traps:
  - Limiting your dating options a little too much.
  - Constantly wondering if you’re just “too picky” to find love.
  - The feeling that nothing is happening in your love life and the clock is ticking.

4. Curated – eHarmony and Coffee Meets Bagel. These apps are excellent for people who are discerning or choosy, but don’t have time to do the filtering themselves. While tedious filtering is taken off your plate, it can sometimes feel like you don’t have enough options or much control. These apps are slow paced and you need some clear direction if you’re going to get your match off the app and on to the next phase of dating.

- Type of Dater: You don’t want to waste your time searching and swiping, you like a curated dating app that will deliver the right matches directly to your inbox.
- The 3 Traps:
  - The feeling that you never meet any great dates – you keep thinking isn’t anyone else out there?
  - Getting stuck in their DMs but never moving into a real relationship.
  - Downloading and deleting app after app, but never finding what you want.

If you’re still a bit unsure about which app is the right app, the most important questions to ask yourself are:

Do I like using this app? Are the features easy to use and understand?
Am I attracted to the people here? Are there matches I could see myself going out with?

That’s it! It’s useless to be on the app that all your friends say is best if you hate using it or roll your eyes at every person in you match queue. It doesn’t matter if you have great matches if you hate using the app and never check your messages. Find an app that works for YOU and your lifestyle.

Signing up for any dating app can be an overwhelming experience at first. But at the end of the day, dating apps are just another resource to meet your people…or person, more specifically. And if you don’t like the matches you get from one dating app, just start fresh on another!