Friendship drift is real, but it does not have to be the end of the story.

Have you ever felt your best friend slowly drifting away, not in a big, dramatic blowup, but in small, almost imperceptible ways?

You still talk regularly, but the conversations that used to go late into the night are now quick updates about work, weekend plans, or the latest Netflix binge. And when you try to open up about something deeper, the subject changes.

This week on Dates & Mates, we unpack a listener’s question:

“We’ve been best friends for years, but lately it feels like we’re only talking about surface-level stuff. Is this just what happens as we grow up?”

We explore why friendships shift over time, the mistakes we make when trying to “fix” them, and simple, low-pressure strategies to bring back connection without guilt trips or awkward energy. 

We also share how to build a wider support system and offer tips that can strengthen all your relationships, from friendships to family ties to even your dating life.

(1:52) It’s Only Weird If We Make It Weird

When something feels “off” in a friendship, our first instinct is often to avoid it. 

But awkwardness usually comes from resisting change, resisting the unknown, resisting showing up fully as ourselves.

As Damona says, “A lot of that weirdness actually comes from resistance… and I encourage you to lean into it…  mindfully.” 

We break down how small shifts in your own approach can ease tension and open the door for more authentic conversations.

(6:10) The Third Character in Every Friendship

There’s you, there’s your friend, and there’s the friendship itself… a “third character” with its own needs. 

Life changes like marriage, kids, new jobs, or caregiving can pull focus and naturally shift priorities.

When we see the friendship as something we both actively nurture, it’s easier to adapt instead of falling into resentment. This perspective also helps you spot whether the friendship simply needs a different kind of attention right now, rather than a total overhaul.

(18:33) Reopening the Door to Connection

Sometimes when a friend doesn’t respond to our deeper shares, it’s not about us; it could be timing, emotional bandwidth, or comfort level. That’s why how you try to reconnect matters.

We share ways to re-engage without forcing it, like using shared memories or parallel experiences as conversation starters. 

As Damona explains, “Storytelling can remind someone of your safety and security, without it feeling like a vulnerability test.” These small, low-stakes moments can be powerful in reestablishing trust.

(36:20) Diversify Your Emotional Support

Not every friend can meet every need and that’s okay. Building a broad emotional support network ensures you’re not relying on one person for everything.

When you have different friends for different roles, the confidant, the workout buddy, the travel partner, you can appreciate each relationship for what it brings instead of trying to make it be everything. 

That mindset shift alone can reduce pressure and keep connections feeling light, natural, and mutually fulfilling.

💌Have a communication conundrum? Damona’s got you.

Whether it’s love, conflict, or just figuring out what to text back, no question is too big or too small.

Submit your dating, relationship, or communication questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

And don’t forget — Dates & Mates is now about all your significant relationships, not just romantic ones.

📝 Want a better way to track what’s working (and what’s not) in your love life?

Get your free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker