Tag Archive for: vulnerability

Relationship Science & Dating Cancellations

Y’all know that we LOVE statistics and science here at Dates & Mates, so why not squeeze in some more data before the end of the year?

Today Damona is dishing with award-winning international dating and relationship expert (and the same person who gave Damona her certification in coaching!!) – Hunt Ethridge. He’ll be breaking down some new science in the relationship and dating space, so you can hack the dating game once and for all.


Canceling plans because you’re not feeling body confident? Let’s talk about it.

A new survey from a company called Wild Dose (who make products for belly & gut health) revealed that men are more likely than women to back out of a date when they aren’t feeling body confident. 

More specifically, the research showed that 25% of men will avoid sex when feeling self conscious, compared to 22% of women. And 1 in 10 men admitted they’ve canceled on a date last minute when not feeling body confident due to stomach issues such as bloating.

Damona makes two arguments based on this data. Firstly, that we should all be trusting our gut a lot more when it comes to dating. (Yeah, butterflies are a thing. But maybe what you’re feeling has to do more with intuition than nerves.) And secondly, that we all need to practice being more respectful of our date’s time when canceling plans. Damona also shares her sure-fire formula to avoid being canceled on.


Hunt Ethridge is an award-winning international dating and relationship expert with over 15 years experience.

Hunt is the co-founder of The Matchmaking Business Academy, which will educate and mentor matchmakers and dating coaches at all levels of their career. He has also been featured in CNN, The New York Times, Playboy and GQ.

(12:08) Where we are now…

There have been several milestone shifts with dating culture in the last 15 years. But most all of them fall under how we communicate – Tinder and swipe app technology increased the speed of communication, and texting became the primary mode of communication in dating. So how can we continue to use these tools as a means of connection, rather than letting them become obstacles to connection? Hunt gives his hot take.

(19:30) Authenticity pays off!

We talk about authenticity a lot on Dates & Mates and learning to show up as your authentic self. But Hunt clarifies. He says that it’s about being your *best* authentic self. “Sometimes people think oversharing or being unedited is authenticity, and that’s not necessarily what it means… I could sit here with greasy hair and a ripped t-shirt and that would be authentic because I look like that sometimes. But it’s not going to be the authentic that will work the best for you in a dating situation.”

So can we redefine what it means to be authentic? Hunt shares his thoughts…

(26:38) The science of self-disclosure

Hunt dives into a study he read recently about the science of over-sharing, which some may see as self-disclosure or being vulnerable. According to the research, your date’s response to self-disclosure works out more favorably and creates more connection when the other party values openness and vulnerability themselves.

Hunt also explains the ways in which we are wired to mirror each other (and the varied ways that mirroring shows up).

(36:04) What if Stranger Danger was wrong?

Another study? Heck yes! Hunt shares some research he found that describes how positive interactions with strangers, however minor, predict a greater subjective well being. “It boils down to if I smile at you, you’re gonna smile back. And if I see your smile, hopefully it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. And so I kind of created a feedback loop.”

Plus, Damona and Hunt dive deeper into this concept of “reciprocal altruism”.

(36:04) What does it take to date offline?

Online dating has its obstacles, no doubt. And I know many of us are itching to ditch the apps altogether and solely date offline. But keep in mind – dating offline will require us to do more of the work to see results.

A tip from Hunt to ease your transition into offline dating… Instead of asking each other logical questions like “how was your day,” try asking more emotional questions that will access their more positive emotions. What was your favorite thing about this weekend? What was the best thing about where you grew up? When was the last time you had a win at work? What was the best prank you saw in college? 


Be sure to follow Hunt on Instagram @QuestforAdvice and check out HuntforAdvice.com for more information.




Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:


  • IG Message from Emily – Dear Damona, I was wondering if you could provide me with some insight. I have it stated on my dating profile that I am looking for something more serious. I’ll match with someone, they say they are looking for something more serious as well, but then by the third or fourth date they say that I am further along in wanting a commitment and they aren’t quite ready for a relationship and want to keep things casual. And when that happens, I end it. This has happened to me four times now. What are some signs I can look out for to avoid this happening again and is there anything I can do to find someone more serious about wanting a relationship?

Self Love & Vulnerability

Love Yourself First

Have you ever heard the phrase, “You have to love yourself before you can love someone else”?

If you remember a few episodes ago titled “Marriage Boot Camp & Bad Advice,” Dr. V’s opinion was that you can’t love yourself in the same way that your partner would love you. Which is true.

BUT it got us thinking: there is some value in being able to understand yourself and take care of yourself in order to be more prepared for a healthier relationship. We dedicated this episode to understanding self love as it relates to dating with Jonathon Aslay. Here’s the rundown:



Wendy Williams is dating after filing for divorce

The divorce has finally happened! Should Wendy be dating already after her divorce? Damona and Jonathon have thoughts.

A new way to teach millennials how to date

CNN reports that South Korea is teaching university students how to date through a “Gender and Culture” class. Is this the most effective way to teach dating? Damona breaks it down.

Match announces a new service, a one-on-one phone call with an expert dating coach

Match is personalizing the world of online dating! What does this mean for you?


Jonathon is America’s leading Midlife relationships expert and he has just published a fantastic guide to self love as it relates to dating called, “What the Heck is Self Love Anyway?”

Self love is an antidote to potential chaos,” Jonathon explains.

Chaos in your life is going to come in a variety of forms – whether it’s a relationship transition, job stress, family stress, etc.

“You have to learn to take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else,” Jonathon explains. A good self love and personal development practice will help you be ready for your next relationship.

In this episode, Jonathon explains:

  • How to allow yourself to feel your feelings
  • How to begin a daily personal development practice
  • How to “Shift away from the mundane and fill your own cup with love.”

Get Jonathon’s book today!


Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to be vulnerable again in a relationship?
  • Why not talk about politics, religion, and money on a first date?
  • How do you get motivated to date again?


Have a hot date this weekend or another event that you want to glam it up for? Let Glamsquad help you out with Damona’s code! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 off your first service with my special code Damona20.