Should you bring your partner to Friendsgiving?
SIGNS THEY ARE COMFORTABLE AROUND YOUR FRIENDSGIVING FRIENDS
I love the idea of Friendsgiving. If your friend group is anything like mine, we love a good sit down meal. Now, I’m usually out of town for Friendsgiving Day, but I’m always there in spirit.
Even after the kids, the spirit of Friendsgiving still lives on!
One of my favorite things about Friendsgiving is the unique safe space it affords newly serious relationships to tip-toe into the deeper waters of intermingled family holidays.
It’s basically THE stress test for all relationships that get serious right around this time of year.
You want to know that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cool with your chosen family of friends before you bring them home to a potentially much more stressful full-blown family Thanksgiving.
How is this new person going to react to the environment around them? Are they going to get along with your friends? If some drama happens, will they have your back? Hopefully, no drama happens. Let’s keep Friendsgiving fun.
But how do you know that your partner is cool with your friends? Here are three super sure signs that your partner has passed the stress test:
Your partner asks questions about your friends
This might seem like not such a big deal, but the best partner is one that is interested in all aspects of your life. Even the lightest of polite questions is a good sign.
Your partner is positive about your friends and they give compliments where they are due.
Something that insecure or manipulative people do in relationships is to attempt to separate their partner from their friends – either intentionally blocking you from spending time with friends or otherwise discrediting or undermining friendships so that you become reliant on your relationship for all of your emotional needs.
Okay.. maybe not this compliment. But I like the spirit.
You can go to an event with your friends without you partner attached at your hip.
If your partner can have independent conversations with the people close to you, that’s a great sign. If your partner isn’t comfortable yet, perhaps don’t start on a full-blown Friendsgiving.
For situations like this, perhaps begin with small dinners or group events with only 1 or 2 other friends at a time. It can be very overwhelming for a partner – especially someone who is shy – to be introduced to all your friends and to be expected to feel as comfortable with them as you are.
Prep your partner on the people they are going to be meeting so they have easy jumping off points for conversation. You don’t have to make them flashcards and stand behind them with conversation prompts á la Devil Meets Prada –
But it’s nice and it might ease the pressure of walking into a room full of new people.
Good luck on your Friendsgivings Lovers! Tell me how it goes!