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Open Relationships & Fear Of Dating Again



NOT GETTING YOUR NEEDS MET? CONSIDER OPEN RELATIONSHIPS. 

As a dating coach, Damona sees a big trend toward curiosity about open relationships. If you’ve spent years in unhappy monogamous relationships, this episode is for you.

Today’s guest, Kelsey Darragh from E!’s Dating #NoFilter and Buzzfeed, shares her personal experience of being in an open relationship and how her mental health journey impacts her relationships day today. 

Kelsey’s Bottom line: Happiness begins with honesty.

But Damona covers headlines:

DATING DISH (2:28)

(2:28) Are couples who don’t share their relationship online happier?

A recent survey by ShotKit, couples are 120% happier if they don’t post photos of their relationship online. Could it be related to the pressure related to going public on social media? Damona knows the answer from personal experience.

via GIPHY

(5:53) Fear of Dating Again (FODA)

HelloGiggles asks the question: is it safe to date again? Universally, singles across the world have a lot of anxiety as they contemplate re-entering the dating scene. Damona covers the article and also gives her own advice.

If you’re struggling with FODA here are a few additional tips from Damona:

💕 Address your anxiety head on and pinpoint exactly what scares you about re-entering the dating scene. What are things you can do to mitigate those fears?⁠

💕 Assess what you’re ready to commit to – if you need to take a break in dating that’s okay! It’s hard to date for a long-term relationship when you don’t know what your next 6 months are going to be like.⁠

💕 If you’re taking a break from dating, set a timeframe and a goal for when you’re going to return.⁠

 

MARRIED TO YOUR JOB (13:00)

Kelsey Darragh is an author and comedian you know from E!’s Dating: #NoFilter and Buzzfeed. She has just released her new book, Don’t F*cking Panic: The Shit They Don’t Tell You in Therapy about Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, & Depression, that address the struggles and triumphs of her mental health journey and how you can win, too.

Damona and Kelsey cover:

(14:27) After watching more than her fair share of dates on Dating: #NoFilter, Kelsey gives some great advice on how to make first dates work. Plus, her approach to dating gives more emphasis on not judging a book by its cover and making a true connection.

(15:30) How honest should you be on a first date? Kelsey says put all your crazy out there, but Damona disagrees.

(18:16) Kelsey talks about identifying as bisexual and why labels don’t matter anymore. Evolving as a society has allowed for much more fluidity when it comes to a person’s sexual orientation. 

(20:45) Kelsey and her boyfriend are currently in an open relationship which has completely changed her views on mynongmy. Everyone has their own definition of what an open relationship truly is and what each couples’ boundaries are. 

(22:00) Writing the rules for your own relationship: Being honest with your partner about your needs

(24:30) Rewriting the narrative: Marriage doesn’t always equal success

(25:45) Why Kelsey recommends starting as friends with benefits and growing from there

(27:12) Kelsey is a huge fan of using therapy for your own personal mental health as well as relationships. Her new book focuses on owning your mental health. Due to Covid, Kelsey believes people are assessing and prioritizing what is most important to them in regards to their mental health and how it can affect every aspect of your life. Kelsey herself has experienced depression, anxiety, and has amazing advice on staying positive and seeking help. 

(31:00) Being honest with yourself about your mental health and how it affects your day to day

(34:30) Damona gets honest about why dating is so unpredictable right now

Learn more about Kelsey’s Book at damonahoffman.com/contentclub!

DEAR DAMONA (42:50)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • (Sierra): Hi, Damona.  I’m a mid 20 something black woman living in the Bay Area. And my question is that I’m coming to two points of frustration right now, with dating apps. The first one is that I have dated race open in the past, and I’m currently dating race open now. So it’s never been something where it’s been an issue for me. But no matter how much, no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, every time I close my eyes and think about what the most ideal long term relationship looks like, for me, it is always with somebody who is of my same race. And that brings me to my second point of frustration is that the apps that I’m currently on tend to lack some diversity. And when they do find people who are diverse candidates to swipe on, it tends to feel like I’m just grabbing at crumbs. So I’m not really sure if there’s anything I can do to solve the issue of a lack of diversity on dating apps or just wanting to date people of my same culture and of my same race, but I’m just more looking for some guidance and some advice on kind of how to get over this hump. 
  • (L):  Hello Damona. Is it normal for a man to admit you stress him out a lil ? I asked my guy during a disagreement if he was happy . He says yes should I take that for face value or should I take that as he is afraid to tell me the truth ?

 

THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY TEXTNOW 

The app solves many major challenges that Damona’s clients face in dating today:

  • You can keep your main number private
  • You can separate your personal and dating contacts
  • Plus, It’s easy to use and FREE.

We are proud to collaborate with an app that empowers modern daters to feel safe and secure. If you want more information, check out Damona’s video on when to give out your number to people you meet on dating apps. Click here!