Posts

Self Love & Vulnerability

Love Yourself First

Have you ever heard the phrase, “You have to love yourself before you can love someone else”?

If you remember a few episodes ago titled “Marriage Boot Camp & Bad Advice,” Dr. V’s opinion was that you can’t love yourself in the same way that your partner would love you. Which is true.

BUT it got us thinking: there is some value in being able to understand yourself and take care of yourself in order to be more prepared for a healthier relationship. We dedicated this episode to understanding self love as it relates to dating with Jonathon Aslay. Here’s the rundown:

 

D’S DATING DISH

Wendy Williams is dating after filing for divorce

The divorce has finally happened! Should Wendy be dating already after her divorce? Damona and Jonathon have thoughts.

A new way to teach millennials how to date

CNN reports that South Korea is teaching university students how to date through a “Gender and Culture” class. Is this the most effective way to teach dating? Damona breaks it down.

Match announces a new service, a one-on-one phone call with an expert dating coach

Match is personalizing the world of online dating! What does this mean for you?

GO LOVE YOURSELF

Jonathon is America’s leading Midlife relationships expert and he has just published a fantastic guide to self love as it relates to dating called, “What the Heck is Self Love Anyway?”

Self love is an antidote to potential chaos,” Jonathon explains.

Chaos in your life is going to come in a variety of forms – whether it’s a relationship transition, job stress, family stress, etc.

“You have to learn to take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else,” Jonathon explains. A good self love and personal development practice will help you be ready for your next relationship.

In this episode, Jonathon explains:

  • How to allow yourself to feel your feelings
  • How to begin a daily personal development practice
  • How to “Shift away from the mundane and fill your own cup with love.”

Get Jonathon’s book today!

TECHNICALLY DATING

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • How to be vulnerable again in a relationship?
  • Why not talk about politics, religion, and money on a first date?
  • How do you get motivated to date again?

GETTING GLAMMED UP FOR A DATE?

Have a hot date this weekend or another event that you want to glam it up for? Let Glamsquad help you out with Damona’s code! If you’re new to Glamsquad you can get $20 off your first service with my special code Damona20.

Meet Cute & Instagram for Dating

THE FUTURE IS HERE!

We talk a lot about how much dating has changed since Damona began her career as a dating coach. Who remembers when online dating was brand new?

Even we couldn’t have predicted the changes that the dating technology ecosystem has seen even in the last year. We want you to be as prepared as possible for upcoming trends so you can stay ahead of the dating game.

This week, Damona talks about the future of modern love with the people who make decisions in the dating app landscape. This short format episode features an in-depth interview with Geoff Cook, CEO and co-founder of The Meet Group, and Evin Rose, Millennial Love Life & Dating Coach, on dating app trends to look out for. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (0:58)

Your Next Dating App: Instagram

Honey Australia reports that singles who use the hashtags  #strongandsingle and #happilysingle might get a few extra DMs from potential dates. Should you mix Instagram and dating? Damona and Evin Rose have thoughts.

YOUR DATING FUTURE (5:58)

If you aren’t familiar with the Meet Group, they are responsible for a lot of cutting edge dating apps that are popular worldwide, like MeetMe, Lovoo, Skout, and so many others. As an expert entrepreneur, business strategist, Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award Winner for the Philadelphia Region, Geoff Cook is the man to give us the facts on the business and trends involved with the dating app tech landscape.

Lately, we have noticed that there is a trend to mix dating with other aspects of your online persona. Listeners often ask: Should you integrate your social media into your dating profile?

For Evin Rose this seems like a no brainer. “When we get someone’s last name, we immediately go look them up anyway on social media to try and get a sense of who they are,” she says. “I think there really is something to finding other ways to connect with people virtually.”

It does seem like a complete no brainer. But why are some having such a hard time blurring these lines?

Geoff has a really good explanation. “People like to express different aspects of their identities via the brands they use.” he says. You might share your workplace version of yourself on Linkedin, and your family friendly version of yourself on Facebook, but your dating persona – the most extroverted and fun version of yourself- is reserved for your dating apps usually.

“That’s partially why it’s strange to be hit up on Facebook or a network where most of your interactions are not for that,” he says. “I think it’s tough to walk that privacy line.”

There is absolutely something to be said for protecting your social media from your dating life. HOWEVER, if we just shut down these new possibilities entirely, we might miss a good opportunity to find love.

So maybe next time someone slides into those DMs, see where it goes and let us know!

We talk about sooo much more on this episode about future trends in dating including:

  • Is live streaming the key to finding your next match?
  • Integrating human connection back into online dating
  • Is this match a real human?: Sorting through multiple realities on dating apps
  • Podcasts: The new predictors for compatibility?
  • And so much more!

ARE YOU MISSING ALL THE GOOD MATCHES ONLINE?

There are millions of people on dating apps worldwide. If you’re not finding love there, your profile may be the problem. Use Damona’s FREE guide to creating the ultimate MAGNETIC online dating profile. Get the Profile Starter Kit at profilestarterkit.com

 

Dating Safety & You’ve Got Mail

IT’S NATIONAL CYBERSECURITY AWARENESS MONTH!

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In honor of #CybersecurityAwarenessMonth, we’ve got important tips on how to date safely in today’s online dating climate. Evin Rose, dating and love life transformation coach for millennial women, returns to co-host this week’s episode. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH (3:07)

Ariana gave back the ring, but kept the pig

Ariana and Pete Davidson have called it quits, TMZ reports. Even though this isn’t surprising, we are sad for them. Ariana has been going through a lot, but Pete’s comedy may have something to do with the split. Do you think that his jokes go too far?

Hillary Clinton defends Bill Clinton’s affair

Hillary Clinton is in hot water this week after defending Bill’s affair with Monica Lewinsky. According to Hillary, Bill’s affair was not an abuse of power because Monica was an adult. We have thoughts.

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Has anyone ever told you that you look like your BF? 

You’re not the only one. According to the HuffPost, there is an actual scientific reason why. Damona and Evin look into the Theory of Assortative Mating and explain why Brad Pitt looks like every one of his girlfriends. 

Dating App algorithms are limiting your options

Some apps are filtering out your matches based on race, according to the Chicago Tribune. In this episode, Damona and Evin tell you why this happens and what you can do to broaden your options.

DATING SAFETY (17:28)

For dating safety tips we welcomed Elise Oberliesen, LA times contributor and author of the Times’ article 7 safety tips to remember for online dating. Damona, Evin, and Elise talked about:

  • Dating Scams and Dangerous Online Dates
  • Dating Safety Tips
  • When to be cautious
  • Red Flags to look out for
  • Listening to your intuition
  • How to tell your if match is a catfish
  • What to do before you meet in person
  • When to give out your contact info?
  • If you met online, should you go home with them on the first date?
  • How online etiquette has changed since #MeToo

This is one segment you don’t want to miss. While catfish situations and dating scams aren’t the norm, it’s important to always be in the know about what you need to look out for. Like Elise says, remember to always listen to your intuition and if a date seems too good to be true, then it’s time to be cautious.

TECHNICALLY DATING  (37:30)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Should you ask your college professor out?
  • What does it mean when your boyfriend tells you he’s asexual?
  • What do you do when you want your husband to be more spontaneous?

ROMANCE ROLLBACK (46:03)

Did you know that online dating had it’s origins in the 60s? Even before Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan made online dating popular in You’ve Got Mail, people started the online dating trend with something called “computer dating”. Damona gives us a dating history lesson.

To get Beachbody on demand free for 14 days, click the banner at DatesandMates.com. There you can also join the Dates & Mates listening community.

Read more of Elise Oberliesen’s work on Twitter @eliseannette or check out her Instagram @eliseoberliesen

You can join Evin’s Empowered Dating Community on Facebook @empowereddatingwithevinrose. She’s @evinrose on Instagram and online at EvinRoseCoaching.com

Gender Identity & Astrology of Love

IS LOVE IN THE STARS FOR YOU THIS FALL?

Carol Allen, from Love Is In the Stars, co-hosts this week’s episode. Carol is an astrologer who steers the love lives of many women based on what is written in the stars. Today on the show, she gives us a fantastic fall love forecast and joins us to talk about gender and sexuality because she has a personal connection to this topic through a close transgender family member who she’s supported through his transition. Together with our guest panel, Damona and Carol unpack what your dating life can learn from the experiences of those who have a different sexual orientation or gender identity than you do.

D’S DATING DISH

Why are divorce rates going down?

Thanks millennials! According to Time, a recent study shows that divorce rates dropped 18% from 2008 to 2016 and this is due mostly to the lower divorce rates among millennials. Is it really all that surprising that millennials are divorcing less than generations before them? We don’t think so.

What can you learn from Gen Z daters

According to a study done by the dating app Zoosk, there are a number things that Gen Z does right when it comes to dating. Gen Zers are the least picky daters and swipe right on 33% of the matches they are presented with. How can this help you and what else can you learn from this study? We have answers.

Your childhood faves have a new relationship status!

It’s been a few weeks since former Sesame Street writer, Mark Saltzman, confirmed that Bert and Ernie are indeed a gay couple. The official Sesame Workshop says differently, however. Does it matter whether Bert and Ernie are gay? Does representation matter – even in kids programming? Or are we taking the puppet relationship dynamic too far? The discussion heats up this week.

IDENTITY, SEXUALITY, AND GENDER

Sexuality and Gender Identity: Are they fixed or fluid? How do you know if the way you’ve been living or dating might be limiting your possibility of finding true love and happiness? We sat down with Jasmine Luna and Harry Caldwell to learn more about their experience.

Jasmine Luna is your average queer, transgender, latinx witch. She is a strong advocate for her queer community, which includes work at the Trevor Project and the Los Angeles LGBT Center.

Harry Caldwell is a Jewelry Designer, Yoga Instructor, and Tantra Instructor. He has identified as Pansexual for the last 15+ years and feels compelled to share his knowledge of the energy of love with everyone he encounters in order to reduce the amount of suffering in the world.

We talked about A LOT:

  • Pansexuality, Omnisexuality, Bisexuality, Transexuality
  • Transitioning
  • What it’s like Transitioning within a relationship
  • Pronouns & Identity
  • Mixed Raced Identity & Sexuality
  • Tantra & Unifying the Masculine and Feminine Energies within us
  • Dating in Los Angeles versus other cities
  • How to maintain outgoing mentality towards dating apps
  • Hookup Culture and Pansexuality
  • Making Love & Deep Intimate Connection
  • The Trevor Project
  • Panty Hose
  • Chickens

TECHNICALLY DATING  

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Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • Is it normal to be dating multiple people online?
  • How can you tell if they’re busy or blowing you off?

FALL LOVE FORECAST

Carol Allen gives us the scoop on what the upcoming #VenusRetrograde means for your love life.

Get Carol’s compatibility report half off HERE using the offer code HALFOFF.

Join Damona’s community for free by taking your free e-course at DatesandMates.com

Follow Harry @CaldwellCrafted on IG

Follow Jasmine on IG @the_witchy_wonder and read her adventures jasmineseclipse.blogspot.com

Get your psychic reading from AskNow.com toll free at 877-626-1034

Breaking Up & Bouncing Back

Our guest co-host this week was Samantha Burns, the Millennial Love Expert. She discussed strategies from her upcoming book, Breaking Up & Bouncing Back, for overcoming the loss of a relationship and learning to love again.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:16)

A Bustle study on the most frustrating parts of being single

Female Bustle readers aged 18 to 35 were asked about love and the biggest frustrations related to their relationship status. With surprising data on everything from what single women are focused on to how often they go on dates, you can read more via Bustle here.

How marriage changes your personality

A new study asked married couples about personality changes during the first 18 months of marriage. Asking about extraversion, openness to experience, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and neuroticism, you can read about the results via Huffington Post here.

Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas?

Though nobody thought to see this one coming, it would appear as if the Bollywood and boy band stars have a spark flying between them. You can read more via Channel News Asia here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (29:46)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • What to do if you keep getting requests for full body pictures
  • How to handle a crush on someone who is taken
  • What to do if you and your significant other don’t click via text

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (45:49)

Damona has a lot of steam to blow off, and up this week in the crosshairs are those who continually ask why they’re single without doing anything to change . . .

Love Addiction & Dating Intuition

Our guest co-host this week was psychotherapist and life coach Sherry Gaba. She joined us to talk about her latest book, in addition to giving us tips on how to kick an addiction to love.

 

D’S DATING DISH (4:05)

Dating lowers self-esteem and increases depressions

In addition to the scientific fact that rejection stimulates the part of the brain that processes physical pain, online dating can also affect how we see ourselves. A recent study shows that individuals who use dating apps have lower self-esteem than those who don’t. Coupled with the fact that one in six participants admitted to being addicted to finding a date, 97% of men saying as much, and that 54% of women feel burned out by the whole thing, online dating and mental health may not be the best of friends. You can read more via CNN here.

Millennial couples are in no hurry to get hitched

If they millennial couples make it to the altar at all, they’re taking their sweet time! Nowadays it’s not uncommon to spend the better part of a decade dating before tying the knot, with the average time between 25-34-year-olds now at 6.5 years. The median age for men is now 29.5, with 27.4 for women. You can read more via Straits Times here.

Hip hop royalty dating rumors

Eminem and Nicki Minaj are looking like they may be an item, with a flirty Instagram comment making reference to the coupling, in addition to Em asking audiences at recent concerts how they’d feel about it. They’ve paired together in the studio before, do you think they can be a match in real life? You can read more via FOX News here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (30:08)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • What to do if your dating pool has shrunk after 50
  • What to do if you find compromising photos on your husband’s phone
  • How to react if you find out your boyfriend was abusive to an ex

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (45:27)

Every once in awhile Damona gets a little riled up, and this week she saw fit to square up and face complainers head on.

Take the love addiction quiz at SherryGaba.com

Get 30 Days free to try Beachbody On Demand. Click the link from DatesandMates.com

Millennial Dating & First Date Sex

Our guest co-host this week was Jamie Faye. An internationally certified dating and relationship coach, Jamie currently lives in Tel Aviv with her husband and helps coach individual and couples in their personal, romantic, and professional relationships, with a special emphasis on millennials.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:04)

What is a mixed-weight relationship and why does it matter?

There’s recently been some discussion revolving around mixed-weight relationships, a relationship where there’s a notable difference in size between partners. Some find it a descriptor that can help you find power in labels, while others find it problematic and unnecessary. You can read more via Refinery29 here.

Device use can seriously impact relationships

A recent Kaspersky Lab study showed that 55% of couples argue about devices and their use. Though there’s a wide variety of specific reasons, the most common issue of contention is couples using a device while face-to-face with their partner. You can read more via Deccan Chronicle here.

Can you have sex on the first date in the age of #MeToo?

The conversation around sex and dating has seen some radical shifts: how about for as something as time-honored as the “three date rule”? Opinions vary, but there could be some benefit to getting hot and heavy early on in the relationship. You can read more via the Sydney Morning Herald.

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:07)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • What to do if you don’t feel like a priority after six months of dating
  • How to handle an ex that’s using Snapchat to keep tabs on you
  • How to know whether you should give up on a guy or not

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:53)

Damona got something under her skin this week, so it was time for another Diatribe. Up on the chopping block this time around: those who don’t read beyond the headlines.