Tag Archive for: Last First Date Radio

Love Trauma & Overflowing Inbox

Here’s a fun fact: did you know that the word April comes from the Latin verb “aperir,” which means “to open”? Many people like to believe the name of the month describes the flowers and trees opening in springtime. I’m preparing as I speak to see the Cherry Blossoms in DC for the first time. Swoon!

Springtime is a period of renewal and rebirth. So in the spirit of growth, we wanted to touch on self awareness and the idea of opening yourself up to love.

And that’s why we’ve got certified dating & relationship coach, Lauren Zoeller, here to talk about how you can become aligned in love, personally and in your relationships. 


Mr. Owl, how many swipes does it take to get to the love of my life?:

The team at Shane Co. Jewelry conducted a study asking online daters how much time they spend on dating apps, whether they’ve met a partner from an app, and how long it took them to do so. According to this study, the average American will spend about eight months on dating apps and swipe on just under 4,000 profiles before finding a partner. Damona breaks down the other specifics within the study – and tells us why decisive action will be your best bet in finding a match online.


Lauren Zoeller is a certified dating & relationship coach, an author, and the host of The Aligned Love podcast. She is also the Founder of The Aligned Love Experience™ and an expert practitioner in reparenting, generational healing and Somatic Experiencing.

Lauren’s insights have been featured on The Drew Barrymore Show (holla!), The NY Post, Business Insider, NBC News, SHAPE magazine and other international media outlets. 

(10:00) What makes Somatic Therapy different?

If you’ve never heard of “somatic therapy” before, Lauren’s got ya covered. “Somatic therapy is therapy of the nervous system, which is completely different from what most of us are conditioned to think about when we think about therapy. And that’s traditional talk therapy, going to a therapist and verbally processing your trauma.”

(19:35) Feeling safe inside of your body…

Damona asks for Lauren’s top first date tips for tapping into your nervous system awareness. She asserts that you first have to understand what safety feels like in your body, because only then will you have a sense if someone is safe when you meet them. “Your person should feel like home, they should feel safe – but you have to find home within yourself first.”

Lauren also shares her hot take on feeling butterflies, and what it means if you’re still getting them on the 3rd date.

(26:30) Bullsh*t and breadcrumbs.

One of the things both Lauren and Damona hear a lot is that women want to be pursued by their match – but Lauren points out a key difference between pursuing someone and chasing them. “I think that both people in a partnership need to pursue one another. It’s not a one way thing.”

Lauren continues that many women put up with what she calls “bullsh*t and breadcrumbs,” AKA a lack of clarity in whether someone wants to date you.

Be sure to follow Lauren on Instagram @LaurenZoeller and check out The Aligned Love Framework Course.



Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

Email from Snowed Under, Down Under – Hi Damona, I’ve been listening to your podcast here in Australia and I have a burning question. Without tooting my own horn; I get a lot of interest from guys on dating apps. The area in which I live and date is very skewed in the favor of women to men ratio. So I get inundated with messages and likes on dating apps. My question is how do I handle this influx of messages? I try to be respectful and answer every message, even if I am not interested – but it’s almost a full-time job!!! I get burnt out really quickly trying to siphon through the guys and trying to message them to give me and them a chance to determine if we should meet up. I don’t like to juggle conversations, but I can take on average 7 to 10 days getting to know someone via text/message, only to meet and the connection to be underwhelming in person! I wonder if my mindset of trying to cull the numbers and really focus on what it is I’m searching for is hindering me – or should I just wing it and just go and meet people without even really getting to know them in written communication first???

Relationshopping & Last First Date

Most of us have a relationship we wish had worked out differently. We think about the one who got away, we wonder how we got to a turning point in our relationships and we second guess everything. That is a normal part of the dating process.

But sometimes daters get caught up in patterns which consistently lead them to make choices that keep them single or unsatisfied in their relationships. If this is you, today’s show will remind you that you have the power to create the love life you want and deserve.

That’s why we have dating and relationship coach, Sandy Weiner, on today to talk about the hidden reasons why we sometimes choose wrong in love, and to share the skills that lead to our best choices and ultimately, our last first date.


How dating became like shopping – and what you can do to get a good haul:

Our friends at GQ magazine state that the suggestion of pre-date questionnaires and follow up surveys could push dating culture into shopping territory. But according to Damona, the “shopification” of dating has been around long before Tinder’s swipe technology. Damona continues to break down how reviewing our dates takes away our self-discovery in dating, and why we should simultaneously embrace the efficiency that dating technology offers us.


Sandy Weiner is an internationally known TEDx speaker, dating and relationship coach AND the host of two podcasts – Last First Date Radio and The Woman of Value Podcast.

But that’s not all! Sandy is also the Chief Love Officer at Last First Date, where her team provides group and individual coaching. And her new book, “Choice Points in Dating: Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love”, is available now.

(14:40) The paradox of choice.

Sandy divulges the inspiration for her new book, which revolves around our relationship to choice. Sandy had a first date with a man who had been widowed 15 years prior, but kept repeating that he hadn’t been able to date because of all his responsibilities – he had no choice. Although this date didn’t go anywhere, Sandy reflected that we usually have many more choices than we know. 

A big culprit of this disillusionment is what both Damona and Sandy refer to as “the paradox of choice.” They explain the concept further, while Sandy describes how you can turn around your fear of rejection by asking for clarity.

(26:25) What makes you feel safe?

Sandy recalls her own proposal and divorce story, having gotten engaged six weeks after meeting her ex (it involves a puppet named Rocco and an in-flight PA system). In her book, Sandy references a list of compatibility criteria she had when she agreed to marry her ex. And over the years, that criteria has shifted to help her coach her clients. “Now, when I take a client through this process, it’s really about how do you want to feel? Let’s take safety, because that’s a big one. Safety – emotionally, physically, financially. So you go through all those categories, and then you ask who that person has to be for me to feel that way.”

(32:50) Don’t be afraid to interrupt!

Being the host of Last First Date Radio, Damona asks Sandy for her top tips on first date success. Sandy puts a big emphasis on how you’re preparing for your first date. “And a lot of people put very little time into asking, what am I going to talk about? How am I going to frame my stories? That’s something I love working with clients on because we often overshare, we share in a way that feels scary to the other person. And people just say things that are self sabotaging on first dates. So prepare your stories.”

Women are also more stereotypically great listeners, and thus don’t end up participating as equally in first date conversation. Sandy spells out why we should all learn to interrupt more, or offer information without it being asked for.

Be sure to follow Sandy on Instagram @LastFirstDate1 and grab a copy of her new book, “Choice Points in Dating: Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.”



Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

IG Message from Jean – Hi Damona, I met this guy on Facebook on December 3rd. We’ve exchanged numbers and have FaceTimed. I’m ready to meet but he wants to wait. Please see his message to me about why. Does he sound sincere? (Message from guy) “Good morning. I hope you made it safely to work this morning. A lot happened yesterday and I received a lot spiritually. I think we take getting to know each other very slowly. Let’s continue to chat and text & FaceTime to allow some more time and learning about our persons before we take any steps further. I am a very demanding and strong-willed, outspoken man that cares deeply and loves hard. The woman with me has to be able to understand and accept me as I do her without judgment, and not one second think I’d do her any harm or mean her any ill will. I LIKE YOU, and I do want to grow with you. BUT because of the man I am and things I’ve been through, it makes me a little more experienced and I don’t want that to ruin our opportunity. So I think it’s best we take more time learning and chatting before we start planning on anything sexual or having physical interaction.”