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Modern Fairytales & FOMO

DATING IN THE DIGITAL AGE

Have you ever logged on to Instagram and it seems like everyone and their mom is getting engaged? Is Instagram-related relationship FOMO impacting your dating life?

On this week’s episode of Dates & Mates, I talk with Hannah Orenstein, Senior Dating Editor at Elite Daily and author of the new novel, Playing With Matches. 

DATING DISH (1:58)

What is sexy-poor?

Do poor men actually have an advantage in dating? D’Marge thinks so.

What you can learn from polyamory?

A recent study on polyamorous couples reveals interesting insights for sexuality. Damona and Hannah break it down. 

Everything that is wrong with your dating profile

Damona’s dating profile tips were featured in Shondaland! Damona and Hannah discuss.

Are #relationshipgoals ruining dating? (14:00)

How social comparison affects your relationships

Hannah writes a lot about how the pressures of social media impact dating today. Are you really living your best life if it’s not on Instagram?

Yes you can! Hannah and I had a great discussion about social comparison and how it affects dating today.

We go in-depth on:

  • What to do if you and your partner have different social media habits
  • What modern fairytales look like
  • What is “sexy-poor” and why should it matter?
  • What to do if your date never asks you questions about yourself?

TECHNICALLY DATING (26:00)

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listeners asked about this week:

  • What should you do if your date doesn’t ask you questions about yourself?
  • If the don’t bother to fill out a bio, swipe left?
  • Should you wait for someone who’s working on the 12 step program?

Dear Damona: DTR & Juggling Dates

DEAR DAMONA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lately, we have been flooded with questions from the Dates & Mates community looking for all kinds of love and dating advice so we dedicated this week’s episode entirely to answering all of your questions! Evin Rose, Millennial Love Life & Dating Coach, returns this episode to help Damona really deep dive into your questions and give you their best advice. We talked about A LOT. Here’s the rundown:

(1:50) Should you tell your friend if his fiance is being manipulative?

Kayleigh from Facebook asks: Dear Damona – I have a friend who is madly in love with a girl from Spain. She is very obviously in not as into him and is definitely manipulative. Recently, she has been panicking about having to move back to Spain and not being able to work here without citizenship. My friend proposed to her because he loves her “so much” and is positive that he wants to marry her. Just from previous conversations I’ve had with her, I KNOW that she is not as into him and is using him to stay in the US. Should I say something to him?  

(4:27) Should you sleep with someone on a third date?

Dear Damona: So I was going on a 3rd date with a guy and the date was ok but since we had physical chemistry I didn’t mind just making out. Then he asked to do it to which I replied no. Then he says he’s not asking for a proposal and he feels rejected and how does he think it makes him feel to be rejected if I say no in the future. I said sleeping with someone too early usually makes them disappear and sure enough, he disappeared. Am I wrong to feel that his explanation is manipulative?

(8:30) If you have a good first date, should you stop talking to the other matches on your dating profile?

Lisa asks: I listen to your podcast and it is so helpful! I just recently started dating again and I’m just wondering what the proper protocol is regarding online dating. I went on a first date yesterday with a guy that I like and could have potential for a LTR. At the same time, I have several messages from other guys in my app that I want to explore. If I feel the person I had the date with had potential, should I stop communicating with other guys on the app? Thank you.

(10:42) When do you have that “Define the Relationship” talk?

(16:50) What is the deal with ghosting?

Jessica emails:What is going on with ghosting. In the last year I’ve been stood up for first dates, dropped after great 3rd dates, and generally treated like trash by the men in LA. I blame dating apps but I’m open to your interpretation. WTF please help!

LOOKING FOR THIS WEEK’S HEADLINES?

Don’t worry! We’ve got you. Damona keeps everyone up to date on this week’s dating headlines on Instagram. This week was a JUICY week for celebrity news. Follow Damona on Instagram (@DamonaHoffman) for the headlines including: did Prince William cheat on Kate? What’s up with Selena Gomez’s love life and Bumbles important new eggplant blocking feature.

 

 

ARE YOU MISSING ALL THE GOOD MATCHES ONLINE?

There are millions of people on dating apps worldwide. If you’re not finding love there, your profile may be the problem. Use Damona’s FREE guide to creating the ultimate MAGNETIC online dating profile. Get the Profile Starter Kit at profilestarterkit.com

Super Mamas & Relationship Standards

Super Mamas Podcast host Paulina Lopez and guest co-host psychotherapist Rhonda Richards-Smith join Damona to discuss how moms can still be sexy to their husbands. Rhonda takes on the headlines including: How dating apps have affected the rate of STDs, Aziz Ansari’s comedy in the #MeToo era, and how your relationship standards change once you’re couple up. Questions from listeners include: how to avoid strange requests on dating apps, should you see your ex again, and is it ok for your man to DM an instagram model?

 

D’S DATING DISH (4:21)

Dating apps blamed for rise in STDs

STDs are on the rise, with five times as many cases seen in the past four months when compared with the same time period last year. Apps such as Tinder and Bumble are facing blame, with syphilis being the STD increasing the most rapidly. You can read more via NY Post here.

Aziz Ansari returns to standup with dating routine

Both Aziz Ansari and Louis C.K. returned to standup this week after being implicated in the #MeToo movement. Ansari avoided mention of the accusations against him, despite the fact the set was structured around dating. Is this tasteless? Can he make a comeback? You can read more via NME here.

How your relationship standards change

A new study proves that your relationship expectations change before and after you enter a relationship. It proved that those who took the survey while in a relationship ranked their current partner closer to their ideal than those who took the survey single and entered into a relationship a few months later. You can read more via Bustle here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (38:35)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • How to avoid strange messages on dating apps
  • If it’s OK to see your ex again

And many more . . .

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Check out the Super Mamas Podcast and follow Paulina on IG @iampaulinalopez

Breaking Up & Bouncing Back

Our guest co-host this week was Samantha Burns, the Millennial Love Expert. She discussed strategies from her upcoming book, Breaking Up & Bouncing Back, for overcoming the loss of a relationship and learning to love again.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:16)

A Bustle study on the most frustrating parts of being single

Female Bustle readers aged 18 to 35 were asked about love and the biggest frustrations related to their relationship status. With surprising data on everything from what single women are focused on to how often they go on dates, you can read more via Bustle here.

How marriage changes your personality

A new study asked married couples about personality changes during the first 18 months of marriage. Asking about extraversion, openness to experience, conscientiousness, agreeableness, and neuroticism, you can read about the results via Huffington Post here.

Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas?

Though nobody thought to see this one coming, it would appear as if the Bollywood and boy band stars have a spark flying between them. You can read more via Channel News Asia here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (29:46)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and those emailed to Damona, including:

  • What to do if you keep getting requests for full body pictures
  • How to handle a crush on someone who is taken
  • What to do if you and your significant other don’t click via text

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (45:49)

Damona has a lot of steam to blow off, and up this week in the crosshairs are those who continually ask why they’re single without doing anything to change . . .

Dating Style & Boyfriends of Instagram

Our guest co-host this week was Rayne Parvis. Rayne is a certified personal stylist and style coach working with clients all over the world. She’s the author of the book Ultimate Guide to Style: From Drab to Fab.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:13)

Women want a body type only 14% of men have

Though men are notorious for being difficult when it comes to ideal body types, it turns out that 86% of women are going around disappointed with how their partner looks! A new study show that the overwhelming majority of women want a man six feet or taller, with only 4% of women saying they’d date a partner shorter than them. You can read more via Revelist here.

We’ve already made “Tillerson-ing” a dating term

Last Tuesday, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson learned he was out of a job by reading President Trump’s Twitter. People immediately took to social media to share their own stories of “Tillerson-ing” in a relationship. Have you ever been “Tillerson-ed”? Read more via Mashable here.

Iggy Azalea says she’s done dating rapper

Rapper Iggy Azalea recently said there’s room for only one rapper in a relationship and she’s already filling that role loud and proud. That being said, she shared some of her concerns about “being 35 and single.” You can read more via Billboard here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (31:23)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • What to do if your boyfriend tries to hack your Instagram
  • How to handle the fact you only attract men who are interested in sex
  • How to handle the fact your lesbian friend invited you to Pride even though you don’t want to go

And many more . . .

ROMANCE ROLLBACK (48:20)

If you’re having trouble finding luck in love, you could always give this ancient Irish love spell a try. The Irish have long been notorious for their magick and spellcasting due to their Celtic heritage, and have a high percentage of Wiccans. Here’s what you’ll need:

  • 5 cups of clovers
  • 4 cups of salt
  • 2 green candles
  • 2 white candles
  • 2 red candles
  • 1 carving utensil
  • 1 lighter or match
  • 1 piece of paper
  • 1 sealable container
  • 1 picture of the target lover
  • 1 picture of yourself
  • 1 piece of string

Draw a circle around you with the salt, laying the clovers on top. Then, carve a heart into all six candles. Carve your initials and a Celtic knot into the GREEN candles. Carve your lover’s initials and date of birth into ONE of the red candles. Then carve YOUR initials and dates of birth into the other red candle.

Light the white candles and chant “The Irish survive and thrive and I call them to thy circle” both times you light a candle.

Light the green candles and chant “The power of the Irish is alive to strive. Bless Thy Circle with the Powers of the Irish Eyes” both times you light a candle

Fold the two photos evenly together

Light the red candles

Wrap the two photos together while chanting “Spin thy heart to thou soul and thy soul to thou heart. With the Irish Eyes Blessed It Be”

Place the wrapped photos into the container, pour the clovers over them, and say “I infuse our bond with the power of the Irish forever!” three times

Meditate for three minutes

Pour the wax of all the candles into the container

Seal the container and keep it until the spell has manifested

For style consultations and tips visit Rayne Parvis at StylebyRayne.com

Get one week of online dating free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates