Tag Archive for: first date

Unorthodox Dating & Newly Single

We had so much fun bringing you all the “F the Fairy Tale Challenge” last week. We connected with so many of you on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook AND our brand new (well, technically reinvented) Youtube channel! (Check out the Dates & Mates Youtube channel here…)

And with that, today’s word of the week is REINVENTION.

There are certain pivotal moments in our lives. Little windows open up for us to peer inside our hearts and ask, what do we truly want? And are we living life in alignment with our goals and values?

In the face of these challenges, we find our true strength through reinvention. It’s a beacon of hope that says, “You are not defined by your past, but by the potential of your future.” To embrace reinvention is to become the authors of our own narratives. It’s the fuel for personal growth and transformation.

This week, let the word “reinvention” inspire you to chase dreams, break boundaries, and shatter limitations. Go for what you know in your heart is meant for you. If you’re listening today, on the precipice of a reinvention of your relationship future or any other aspect of your life, our guest is the perfect person for you to hear from.

JULIA HAART (2:25)

Julia Haart is a fashion designer, entrepreneur and the current CEO of Elite World Group, a fashion talent management group. However, Julia started out in a very different place in life. She was raised in an ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and was married off to a man she barely knew at a young age. That marriage ruled her life for 23 years before she gained the courage to leave.

Julia joins Dates & Mates today to talk about how she went from ultra orthodox long sleeves to designing lingerie, and how to find your voice and power in a relationship.

(6:41) Shifting into body confidence.

Julia goes into her orthodox background, including the three laws that defined her life for years. Her transition into body empowerment, and consequently starting her lingerie brand, was inspired when her 5-year old daughter asked why their religion wouldn’t allow her to play soccer with the other kids.

(18:12) Don’t take freedom for granted.

Julia details what it was like to start dating for the first time at 52-years old. “The first like nine months, it was more about self discovery than dating. I didn’t really date.” For Julia, one of the most important transitions was experiencing her own sexual freedom for the first time. 

Julia also explains what she’s learned since being on My Unorthodox Life in 2022.

(25:05) Gardeners & flowers…

Damona and Julia talk about what it takes to really create change in your life, and deprogram old beliefs that aren’t serving you anymore. Julia also offers a metaphor that says everyone is either a gardener or a flower. “Gardeners are the people who take care, they nurture, they feed, they support, they help. Flowers are the people that say give me, give me, give me everything… I would like someone who gardens some of the time, and doesn’t always say ‘give me.’”

 

You can follow Julia on Instagram @JuliaHaart AND you can learn more about her sexy shapewear by visiting BodyByJuliaHaart.com.

 

DEAR DAMONA

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on a future all-Dear Damona episode!

Manifest Love & Slay Monsters

 

From what we’ve been hearing lately, so many of you feel like you’re doing all the things to find your match, but not seeing the progress you want. So in today’s episode, we’re going to work a little magic – well, a specific kind of magic.

The word of the day is MANIFESTATION.

We believe that manifestation is magic and that we all have the power to manifest our destinies. When we dream it and believe it, we can achieve it, whether we’re talking financial success or love.

And before you say “that’s too woo woo for me,” we encourage you to have an open mind. Having an open mind is the first step to making manifestation work for you. When we manifest, we are actually programming our subconscious mind, helping our brains get to order our actions and make what we visualize real.

Or maybe it’s just straight up magic. Either way, our guest today – Morgana Rae – will show us how it’s done.

MORGANA RAE (3:00)

Morgana Rae is the #1 international best-selling author of “Financial Alchemy: 12 Months of Magic & Manifestation.” Morgana has been a 7-figure spiritual life and business coach for over 30 years (that’s over a million for those who are counting). She’s guided tens of thousands of entrepreneurs, artists, healers and humanitarians to heal the rift between heart, spirit, and money.

Morgana’s groundbreaking approach to “attracting money like a lover” has featured her on all the major television networks – United Press International, Yahoo Finance, The Wall Street Journal, and hundreds of others. As a thought leader on the topics of Wealth and Relationships, she’s also been a featured expert on stages with Deepak Chopra, Arianna Huffington, Bob Proctor, and many others. 

(3:00) Change happens at the speed of safety…

Although a lot of her work has been financially oriented, Morgana says manifesting love is a lot like manifesting wealth. She shares her story of how she slayed her “love monster” in 2012, when she met the man who would eventually become her husband. 

Morgana also believes that change happens at the speed of safety, and explains the 3 steps you can take to dissect and heal the ways you feel unsafe in love.

(22:15) Character versus characteristics.

After Damona describes her 3 C’s rule for profile photos – having Color, Context & Character – she notes that many people forget about implementing your character, because they get too caught up in impressing potential matches instead of leaning in authentically. 

Morgana revisits her own profile, and how she used her bio to paint a picture of what it would be like to date her. This is when the quality of her matches began to change. Morgana buttons her thought with, “if you feel like you need to impress that person, it’s not your person.”

(28:30) Find your Money Honey!

Morgana clarifies that your “money monster” can be anything that has ever made you feel unlovable, unworthy, unsafe, judged or powerless. And once you slay that money monster, you will open yourself up to finding your “money honey.” (Check out Morgana’s website for 6 steps on how to take action in finding your money honey.) 

Morgana adds that “you must create safety in your own relationship, with your existence, with your life on Earth. So that when somebody shows up with ill intent, you don’t take it personally. You just say no, and move on.”

 

Visit Morgana’s website MorganaRae.com and grab a copy of her bestselling book, “Financial Alchemy: 12 Months of Magic & Manifestation.”

 

 

DEAR DAMONA

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on a future all-Dear Damona episode!

Dear Damona: Great Expectations & The Talk

 

We’re coming at you this week with our very first all-Dear Damona episode of Dates & Mates Season 11! And the word of the week? HEALING.

We’ve been seeing a lot of misplaced anger, frustration, and disappointment on all the socials this week on well-intentioned posts – everything from raising money for charity to book recommendations. There’s a lot of pain circulating in the form of critical comments and insults being delivered behind the veil of a phone screen.

But instead of fighting anger with anger, think about shifting your instincts towards healing.

Every action that we take is motivated by one thing – to move toward love or away from pain. We do not heal our pain through complaining, through dragging someone on social media, or from ghosting. We heal our pain through listening and through extending compassion to others.

And when we are healed and whole, we can move towards love and away from pain at the same time. Hurt people hurt people and healed people help people. And boy, do we need more helpers and healers right now.

On that note, let’s get into the business of the week. You asked for it – our first Dear Damona episode of the season.

DEAR DAMONA (2:45)

 

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear Damona’s answers live on our next all-Dear Damona episode!

 

  • (2:45) Voicemail from Chantel: Hello, I recently jumped back into using dating apps and I’ve met someone who I really like who is kind, thoughtful and cute. We’ve been dating for about three months. I’m wondering if I should initiate a serious relationship talk? He said he is open to long term relationships. But we haven’t really talked about what our relationship goals are yet. So I’m not sure whether he meets my needs for a long term relationship. I am attending grad school and working. So I’m pretty busy, and I don’t have a whole lot of time for dating apps. I’m kind of worried that if I continue to date him, I won’t explore other potential matches. So I’m just wondering if I should initiate the serious dating talk or if I should just continue to date him casually and learn more about each other.

 

  • (9:50) Voicemail from Bren: Hi Damona! I am a 60 year old woman, new to the dating scene after a recent divorce. I have a question about complete honesty on dating profiles. I am a physician and I am very hesitant to put it on a profile so as to avoid a lot of the predatory stuff that goes on and some of the dating sites. But of course, I like the fact that I’m a physician. I’m proud of what I do, but not really sure how to approach that on a dating website. What is your advice in regards to staying safe and being fully transparent about your profession online?

 

  • (15:37) IG Message from Shana: Hi Damona, I have a query about not getting too disappointed after first dates which appeared to have gone very well, but then you don’t hear back from the man. Would you be able to offer some sound advice on expectations and not having them deflated?

 

  • (24:35) Voice Memo from T: Hey Damona! I was in a relationship for about two and a half years. Two weeks before it ended, we were engaged. It has been three months of healing, grieving, therapy and journaling and processing the end of this relationship. I am getting curious and excited. So the question is, how do you internally know if you’re ready to get back into the dating world after processing a serious breakup?

 

  • (28:52) Text from S: Hi Damona! I absolutely love your podcast. My question is how boring is too boring? I have been dating online for the past year and have met a lot of guys who are nice and want to see me again, but the dates are very bland and low energy. Should I be doing more to spice things up, or should I just pass on the guys if we don’t click after a couple dates?

How To Flirt & Improv Games

DIDYA KNOW YOU CAN LEARN TO FLIRT?

Today, on my second episode in the Summer Love Series, I share 5 fun exercises that can improve your flirting game instantly.

If you followed my first TV series, #BlackLove, you might remember that I used improv techniques to teach the women how to flirt. Here’s a peek:

Flirting Coaching with Damona from Damona on Vimeo.

The show just showed the highlights, but on Dates & Mates today, you get the full experience of what a flirting coaching session with me is like.

For today’s demo I’m joined by two experienced improvisers Marquis Olison & Nicky Urban (whose improv group was just on America’s Got Talent last week.) With me, they demonstrate how improv can make flirting fun. I know it sounds CRAZY but I promise if you listen and try out some of the exercises, you flirt game will never be the same.

Here’s the rundown:

Why improv? (2:30)

How men can impress women in today’s world (5:30)

Yes, And (9:00)

What you can learn from Yes, And & How to replicate (12:00)

How to build energy on a date (13:30)

Accepting someone’s reality (17:00)

Mirroring & How to tell if someone is intelligent (18:30)

Embrace The Weird (23:00)

 

Missing this week’s headlines?  

Damona’s got you! Watch for Damona’s IGTV today for this week’s headlines on: All of the Hollywood Heartbreak this week (spoiler alert: lots of Hollywood exes made headlines), learning your dating app score, and how to stand out on dates in big cities. 

 

Master Class: First Dates

SUMMER LOVE

Lovers, it’s the first official week of summer! Welcome to the first official episode of the Dates & Mates Summer Love Series.

The topic this week? First Dates.

First dates are the foundation of every great relationship. The tone and the rules you set at the beginning will follow you into the relationship or squash the potential for one to develop. In this master class, Damona tells you how to plan the perfect first date. Here’s the rundown:

Why are first dates so important? (1:30)

Should I google my date before I go? (2:00)

The Phone Call (4:00)

What should wear on a first date? (8:00)

What’s a good thing to do on a first date? (13:00)

How long should a first date be? (16:00)

7 Date Ideas BETTER THAN A DINNER DATE (21:00)

STILL HAVE QUESTIONS?

Get Damona’s First Date Starter Kit. You get advice on:

  • The one thing you should ALWAYS always ALWAYS  do before a first date.
  • How to ensure a second date if you like the person you’re on a first date with
  • And conversation tips to make sure it never falls flat or feels boring – crucial first date advice
  • It also has an audio program that shows you 7 different ways to make a match and how to maximize their effectiveness
  • This is perfect for anyone who feels like they’re burnt out on dating apps and need new ways to meet people
  • Or if you feel like you’re doing everything you can to make a match but it’s simply not working
  • This concise program is packed with actionable advice and in it I will teach you all the steps that I’ve used with my clients over the last 13 years to bring them more dates, and better quality dates
  • And all the crucial steps you need to take before, during, and after to set yourself up for dating success.
  • Do all the people you like on a first date never seem to call again?
  • Do you find yourself getting tongue-tied or overwhelmed on a first date?
  • Are you bored with your first dates and feeling like you’re running out of options?

Get your First Date Starter Kit at FirstDateStarterKit.Com

 

Happy Halloween & Dating Horror Stories

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The Pumpkin Spice Lattes are brewing, sweater weather is upon us, and that can only mean one thing: it’s time for Damona’s favorite show of the year! It’s our annual Halloween Horror Stories episode where we hear the worst dates you’ve experienced. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH

This former celebrity online dater is knocked up

Amy Schumer has found love and is starting a family! She announced her pregnancy in a super adorable and politically savvy way. Congratulations Amy – and watch out Markle – you’ve got competition. Check out her baby announcement here! 

The real reason people stay in bad relationships

For a long time we thought that people stayed in bad relationships because they had a fear of being single. According to two new studies, there may be a different reason. Damona breaks it down in today’s episode.

via GIPHY

What your sex fantasies say about you

Henry Lehmiller, a sociologist and research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, did a study on American fantasies and found that our fantasies have a lot to do with our personality. Damona and Producer Leah discuss what this study says about you.

via GIPHY

HALLOWEEN HORROR STORIES

Today Damona and Producer Leah heard from you about your worst dating experiences. Thank you to Tavishya, Troy, Amber, Brett Allen of the Open Mic Podcast, and the amazing Karrine Steffans for sharing their experiences! These are not your average Halloween Horror Stories. These stories include: 

  • Fireworks and Muggles
  • Men who sing about barbecue
  • The old gas money trick
  • And a blind date who needs a ride…from the airport

Do you have a dating horror story we haven’t heard yet? Tweet us or let us know in the comments below!

NEED A CUTE DATE NIGHT IDEA?

We got you! Impress your date with a home cooked meal. This is actually a lot easier than it sounds. With Green Chef, home cooking has never been so simple. All the ingredients are delivered right to your door and every order comes with easy to use instructions. Don’t miss out! Green Chef  is giving Dates & Mates fans $50 off your first order at GreenChef.us/datesandmates.

What Women Want & Seeking Arrangement

Are you confused about what women want?

Evin Rose, dating and love life transformation coach for millennial women, co-hosts this week’s episode of Dates & Mates. Last week, we dove deep into the mind of men and figured out what the guys are really thinking. Now it’s the ladies’ turn! Today Damona and Evin sit down with a panel of single women to figure out what women really want. Here’s the rundown:

D’S DATING DISH

Why is it so hard to turn a Tinder date into a relationship?

Research from Michigan State University indicates that couples who meet online are 28% more likely to split up within a year. What makes these relationships different? What expectations should we have for Tinder dates? Damona and Evin discuss.

Put your best foot forward

Picking a first date outfit can be a lot of pressure. This week, MamaM!a published a few suggestions for your first date outfit. Damona and Evin give you some suggestions on how to show off your personality.

Are sugar babies bad for feminism?

SeekingArrangement now has over 3 million users worldwide and the numbers are growing. The average Sugar Baby is 25 and makes about 2800 a month from her Daddies. What are the biggest misconceptions about Sugar Baby and Sugar Daddy/Mommy relationships? Are these relationships actually empowering for Sugar Babies? Damona and Evin have thoughts.

 

WHAT A GIRL WANTS

Last week, the men told us what really goes on in their head. This week, the ladies got a turn. Today we sat down with Rebecca Bernard and Nelly Dennis to get some answers on what women really want. Here’s what we covered:

  • Men on dating apps & the riffraffery
  • The worst DMs
  • Do you right swipe when you see someone you know?
  • What do you do when married men proposition you?
  • Pick Up Lines
  • Courtship & Chivalry
  • Should women make the first move?
  • Who pays on the first date?

You know the drill, fellas. They’re single, ready to mingle, and open for DMs. (Please, no dick pics, thanks.)

 

TECHNICALLY DATING  

Submit your questions Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here are the topics we answered this week:

  • Should you tell your dates that you’re seeing other people?
  • How do you ask your partner for a threesome?
  • How to get over anxiety over asking women out.

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE

This week we remember Mac Miller and send condolences to his family, friends, and Ariana Grande. Today on Damona’s diatribe, Damona has a message for those who are in relationships with a person struggling with addiction.

Try FabFitFun.com and get $10 off your first box with the code DatesandMates

Join Damona’s Community of Love by choosing your free e-course at DatesandMates.com and you’ll get access to the exclusive group coaching calls for Dates & Mates listeners.

Follow Damona on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook

Follow Evin Rose on Instagram @EvinRose, join her FREE Empowered Dating Community on @EmpoweredDatingwithEvinRos or visit her site evinrosecoaching.com

Find Rebecca and Nelly on Instagram – DMs from smart, serious guys only – haha!

 

Millennial Dating & First Date Sex

Our guest co-host this week was Jamie Faye. An internationally certified dating and relationship coach, Jamie currently lives in Tel Aviv with her husband and helps coach individual and couples in their personal, romantic, and professional relationships, with a special emphasis on millennials.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:04)

What is a mixed-weight relationship and why does it matter?

There’s recently been some discussion revolving around mixed-weight relationships, a relationship where there’s a notable difference in size between partners. Some find it a descriptor that can help you find power in labels, while others find it problematic and unnecessary. You can read more via Refinery29 here.

Device use can seriously impact relationships

A recent Kaspersky Lab study showed that 55% of couples argue about devices and their use. Though there’s a wide variety of specific reasons, the most common issue of contention is couples using a device while face-to-face with their partner. You can read more via Deccan Chronicle here.

Can you have sex on the first date in the age of #MeToo?

The conversation around sex and dating has seen some radical shifts: how about for as something as time-honored as the “three date rule”? Opinions vary, but there could be some benefit to getting hot and heavy early on in the relationship. You can read more via the Sydney Morning Herald.

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:07)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • What to do if you don’t feel like a priority after six months of dating
  • How to handle an ex that’s using Snapchat to keep tabs on you
  • How to know whether you should give up on a guy or not

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:53)

Damona got something under her skin this week, so it was time for another Diatribe. Up on the chopping block this time around: those who don’t read beyond the headlines.

To Rome for Love & The Aziz Effect

Our guest co-host this week was Diann Valentine. An internationally acclaimed wedding and event planner and interior designer, author of the book Going the Distance for Love, and love expert on the new Bravo series, To Rome for Love, Diann sat with us to dish the scoop on her show and tackle user questions in Technically Dating.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:37)

What drink should you order on a first date?

The British dating app Trueview conducted a survey of its users to see what drink is best to order on a first date. Surprisingly, beer and cider got low ratings, but wine of all kinds got top marks. Want to know what you should never, ever order? Well, you’ll just have to catch up with our episode to find out. You can read the original article via Nottingham Post here.

The strange dating rule that says men should date someone half their age plus seven

This old adage is commonly accepted, but where exactly did it come from and why? Well, this week we looked into it and found out that it’s credited to Max O’Rell in a book on dating from 1901. It seems women are generally “allowed” to date men up to 15 years older than them, but men are frowned upon for dating older women. What do you think? Should you set a minimum age you’ll date, or is it all up to how you connect? You can read more via Independent here.

Is Aziz guilty of sexual assault, or just being a bad date?

Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve no doubt heard about the recent scandal involving Aziz Ansari. Long story short: Aziz took a woman home after a few drinks and she has stated that his behavior was predatory and made her uncomfortable. However, many women are claiming that this story is simple one of a bad date, and that the account is damaging the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements. Where do you stand? You can read more via CNN here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (28:06)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to tell if you’re being invited to a booty call
  • How to date as a tomboy
  • What to do if your date asks what you want to do in your future and you’re not quite sure

And many more . . .

DATING DOT DOT DOT (48:31)

We got Diann’s lightning-fast love advice in another rapid-fire rendition of Dating Dot Dot Dot, this time with new questions!

The worst pickup line ever is ________
The best place to go on a first date is ________
The sexiest thing about a woman is __________
The sexiest thing about a man is _________
The best way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is __________

Get 1 week free at http://BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

Apply for Damona’s dating coaching program at http://DateByNumbers.com

Try the Textpert App “Drama Solved Anonymously” https://www.textpertapp.com