In her book, F The Fairy Tale Damona says choosing a life partner is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. Goals, values, communication, and trust are key to a successful relationship and that begins before you’ve even met your match, because it begins with you.

One of our guests today says, “Real choice comes when we don’t need the other person to be okay.” We couldn’t have said it better ourselves and that’s why we invited friends, co-authors, podcasters, and spouses, Mark Groves and Kyle McBeth, to share their stories. 

But first, we have a dangerously hot dating dish to serve up. According to Axios, Facebook groups like, Are We Dating the Same Guy, are stirring up controversy and we’re going to unmask the dark side.  

DATING DISH (1:54)

Several articles were published this week detailing legal action being taken against members of a private group called, Are We Dating The Same Guy. These groups originally served as a kind of background check to keep women safe, were a great idea, but critics say they’ve become an arena for public persecution. 

But there are real-world consequences  – like being sued for defamation.  A lot of these claims are subjective. Damona warns us, “if you say somebody is clingy or psycho, and that means that they don’t get a job because of it, or that they lose clients because of it, you actually could be liable for damages.”

Damona unpacks the story further saying that daters seem to think that talking to these groups will give them closure or give a sense of power back. She suggests we talk to our match about our concerns to create real change.

We know this was a dating dish of a different color, but with all of the headlines, we felt like it had to be said. 

(8:30) Mark Groves & Kylie McBeath

Second-time guest Mark Groves is a Human Connection Specialist, founder of Create the Love and host of the Mark Groves Podcast. Mark’s work bridges the academic and the human, inviting people to explore the good, the bad, the downright ugly, and the beautiful sides of connection.

Kylie McBeath, also known as @beingisbeautiful to her 130K Instagram followers, shares daily guidance and teachings on relationships, spirituality, and embodied liberation. She is also a Certified Health Coach and the host of The Journey Home podcast.

(9:54) Tell us about liberated love

Kylie explains liberated love is about coming from a place of grounded centeredness where you’re not needing somebody for a source of safety, security, validation, or to soothe aloneness. Liberated love is about actively, fully choosing a relationship.

Mark agrees that liberated love is about being dedicated to telling the truth. He says so many people are afraid to fully express themselves in a relationship because we’re afraid we’ll lose someone, we’ll push them away.

Liberated love is all about freedom. 

(18:34) Is it codependency or co-creating?

Codependency, Kylie shares, is any relational dynamic where we source safety outside of ourselves at the expense of our own needs and well-being. “But it’s when it becomes at the expense of your wholeness, at the expense of your core needs, at the expense of your total well-being, that we begin to have a problem.”

We all have emotional, sexual and safety needs, Damona says, but it’s sometimes difficult to discern if we are co-creating or being codependent. 

(25:27) Your body, your compass

Daters need to get in touch with their bodies. Kylie says,,  “I think this is probably one of the most important pathways we are being invited to walk on the planet at this time is returning back to the body and returning back to trusting our intuition and our instincts and our somatic experience. 

Kylie explains that for her it meant accessing her anger so that she could listen to and honor her emotional input impulses as a compass.

Be sure to grab a copy of Mark and Kylie’s new book, “Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire” and follow them on Instagram @CreateTheLove and @BeingIsBeautiful

(41:02) DEAR DAMONA 
Submit your questions on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Question from Spotify listener, Brent.

Question about navigating fake profiles on dating websites. I’ve learned some cues that seem to be linked to the fakes, but any advice on not getting exhausted weeding through the nonsense?