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Should you bring your partner to Friendsgiving?

SIGNS THEY ARE COMFORTABLE AROUND YOUR FRIENDSGIVING FRIENDS

I love the idea of Friendsgiving. If your friend group is anything like mine, we love a good sit down meal. Now, I’m usually out of town for Friendsgiving Day, but I’m always there in spirit.

Even after the kids, the spirit of Friendsgiving still lives on! 

One of my favorite things about Friendsgiving is the unique safe space it affords newly serious relationships to tip-toe into the deeper waters of intermingled family holidays. 

It’s basically THE stress test for all relationships that get serious right around this time of year.

You want to know that your boyfriend or girlfriend is cool with your chosen family of friends before you bring them home to a potentially much more stressful full-blown family Thanksgiving. 

How is this new person going to react to the environment around them? Are they going to get along with your friends? If some drama happens, will they have your back? Hopefully, no drama happens. Let’s keep Friendsgiving fun. 

But how do you know that your partner is cool with your friends? Here are three super sure signs that your partner has passed the stress test: 

Your partner asks questions about your friends

This might seem like not such a big deal, but the best partner is one that is interested in all aspects of your life. Even the lightest of polite questions is a good sign. 

Your partner is positive about your friends and they give compliments where they are due.

Something that insecure or manipulative people do in relationships is to attempt to separate their partner from their friends – either intentionally blocking you from spending time with friends or otherwise discrediting or undermining friendships so that you become reliant on your relationship for all of your emotional needs.

Okay.. maybe not this compliment. But I like the spirit.

You can go to an event with your friends without you partner attached at your hip. 

If your partner can have independent conversations with the people close to you, that’s a great sign. If your partner isn’t comfortable yet, perhaps don’t start on a full-blown Friendsgiving. 

For situations like this, perhaps begin with small dinners or group events with only 1 or 2 other friends at a time. It can be very overwhelming for a partner – especially someone who is shy – to be introduced to all your friends and to be expected to feel as comfortable with them as you are. 

Pro Tip: 

Prep your partner on the people they are going to be meeting so they have easy jumping off points for conversation. You don’t have to make them flashcards and stand behind them with conversation prompts á la Devil Meets Prada – 

But it’s nice and it might ease the pressure of walking into a room full of new people. 

Good luck on your Friendsgivings Lovers! Tell me how it goes!

Dating Style & Boyfriends of Instagram

Our guest co-host this week was Rayne Parvis. Rayne is a certified personal stylist and style coach working with clients all over the world. She’s the author of the book Ultimate Guide to Style: From Drab to Fab.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:13)

Women want a body type only 14% of men have

Though men are notorious for being difficult when it comes to ideal body types, it turns out that 86% of women are going around disappointed with how their partner looks! A new study show that the overwhelming majority of women want a man six feet or taller, with only 4% of women saying they’d date a partner shorter than them. You can read more via Revelist here.

We’ve already made “Tillerson-ing” a dating term

Last Tuesday, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson learned he was out of a job by reading President Trump’s Twitter. People immediately took to social media to share their own stories of “Tillerson-ing” in a relationship. Have you ever been “Tillerson-ed”? Read more via Mashable here.

Iggy Azalea says she’s done dating rapper

Rapper Iggy Azalea recently said there’s room for only one rapper in a relationship and she’s already filling that role loud and proud. That being said, she shared some of her concerns about “being 35 and single.” You can read more via Billboard here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (31:23)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • What to do if your boyfriend tries to hack your Instagram
  • How to handle the fact you only attract men who are interested in sex
  • How to handle the fact your lesbian friend invited you to Pride even though you don’t want to go

And many more . . .

ROMANCE ROLLBACK (48:20)

If you’re having trouble finding luck in love, you could always give this ancient Irish love spell a try. The Irish have long been notorious for their magick and spellcasting due to their Celtic heritage, and have a high percentage of Wiccans. Here’s what you’ll need:

  • 5 cups of clovers
  • 4 cups of salt
  • 2 green candles
  • 2 white candles
  • 2 red candles
  • 1 carving utensil
  • 1 lighter or match
  • 1 piece of paper
  • 1 sealable container
  • 1 picture of the target lover
  • 1 picture of yourself
  • 1 piece of string

Draw a circle around you with the salt, laying the clovers on top. Then, carve a heart into all six candles. Carve your initials and a Celtic knot into the GREEN candles. Carve your lover’s initials and date of birth into ONE of the red candles. Then carve YOUR initials and dates of birth into the other red candle.

Light the white candles and chant “The Irish survive and thrive and I call them to thy circle” both times you light a candle.

Light the green candles and chant “The power of the Irish is alive to strive. Bless Thy Circle with the Powers of the Irish Eyes” both times you light a candle

Fold the two photos evenly together

Light the red candles

Wrap the two photos together while chanting “Spin thy heart to thou soul and thy soul to thou heart. With the Irish Eyes Blessed It Be”

Place the wrapped photos into the container, pour the clovers over them, and say “I infuse our bond with the power of the Irish forever!” three times

Meditate for three minutes

Pour the wax of all the candles into the container

Seal the container and keep it until the spell has manifested

For style consultations and tips visit Rayne Parvis at StylebyRayne.com

Get one week of online dating free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

 


Better Sex & Interracial Emojis

Our guest co-host this week was Kongit Farrell. Kongit Farrell is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of the Inspired Journey Counseling Center in Los Angeles. She worked as a coach and therapist for nine years and she also worked in the First Lady’s Office of Communication in the White House. 

 

D’S DATING DISH (14:50)

Red flags to watch out for when dating someone younger

Damona was recently featured in Elite Daily with a whole bunch of tips for those in this potentially sticky situation. Most importantly, take note of if your younger partner seems preoccupied with your career or connections, if your sex drives aren’t in sync, or if they haven’t integrated you into their life. Read the full article via Elite Daily here.

Jennifer Aniston has had enough of sex and dating

Aniston just recently split from her beau Justin Theroux, and claims that all she’s interested in is “Me Time.” Although a Hollywood heartthrob, she’s not even interested in anything in terms of the bedroom. Any eligible sutiors out there? You can read more via Hollywood Life here.

Tinder users are more open to interracial dating

Of more than 4,000 people surveyed, 72% said that Tinder was the most diverse dating app and 80% said that they’ve been on an interracial date before. What do you think? Do you think online dating is diversifying the dating pool? You can read more via BuzzFeed here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (28:52)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to deal with your significant other’s conservative parents
  • What to do when you’re not sure if it’s cool to invite someone to a wedding
  • How to turn away a persistent guy who is making you uncomfortable

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:25)

Every once in awhile Damona has something to get off her chest, and this week was no exception. Up this time on the chopping block: the lack of effort in guys’ dating profiles today. Tune in to see what she had to say.

Micro-Cheating & PTSAD

Our guest co-host this week was Carmelia Ray. Carmelia is an internationally acclaimed matchmaker for high achieving men and the quality women they’re searching for. She’s helped over 7,000 clients and is a renowned TV personality on shows such as Mom vs. Matchmaker and The Real Housewives of Toronto. Appearing in such publications as AskMen, Variety, and The Hollywood Reporter, clients can’t get enough of her “never settle” attitude and we were happy to welcome her on.

D’S DATING DISH (17:14)

New roundup of dating terms

We like to check in on dating slang every once in awhile, and we’ve got some new terms for you to keep an ear out for, including micro-cheating, catch and release, and the slow fade, in addition to some terms we’ve covered before such as breadcrumbing, ghosting, and love bombing. You can read more via FOX News here.

Drew Barrymore gives online dating a try

Barrymore has dreamed of a blind date since she was a little girl, but only recently drummed up the courage to give elite dating app Raya a try. Unfortunately, she didn’t meet with much success, and to make things worse, her ex-husband mentioned he was surprised to see her on the app even though she tried to delete her profile. You can read more via E! here.

A woman’s surprising way of celebrating a divorce

While many say that time heals all wounds, Briana Barksdale would beg to disagree. Barksdale recently held a garage sale where she sold all of the items she owns that remind her of her ex-husband, ending with her burning her wedding dress in front of the onlookers. You can read more via USA Today here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:11)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How you should feel if your boyfriend went out with his friends on Valentine’s Day
  • What to do if you need to hack your boyfriend’s cellphone to prove he’s cheating
  • What to do if you’re in the military and learn your wife’s found another man

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (46:23)

It’s been awhile since Damona’s needed to blow off some steam, but this week we were treated to another diatribe. The topic? Love starting with you.

Get one week free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

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