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ChatGPT & Dating, Decoded

As Damona has been posting more dating advice on Instagram, we’ve been reading through the comments (as one does). And some folks are wondering, “Why should I take my dating advice from Damona? She’s a married lady, yet she’s offering online dating advice.” Which made us realize that many new listeners don’t know Damona’s background!

So here’s why Damona should be your go-to gal for dating advice:

  • Damona has over 15 years of experience in online dating and offline dating.
  • As a professional dating coach, she wrote her first online dating profile for a client in 2004 – so she’s been in the game for a minute.
  • Damona became certified as a dating coach in 2013, consequently the same year she launched the Dates & Mates Podcast.
  • She’s collaborated with all of the major dating apps, including Match.com, JDate, Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, and now OKCupid as their Official Dating Coach and spokesperson.
  • Damona loves staying on top of all of the latest trends and tips on dating, both offline and online.

If that doesn’t convince you to listen to the rest of the show, we don’t know what will. Maybe it’ll be our guest for today, Hannah Orenstein. She’s the deputy editor of lifestyle and wellness at Bustle, and she has her finger on the pulse of modern dating trends. So she is the perfect person to help us decode the new rules of dating.

DATING DISH (3:00)

Will ChatGPT take over online dating?

Our friends at CNET published a captivating article this week, asking what happens when ChatGPT gets a hold of your online dating profile. To get you up to speed, ChatGPT is an artificial intelligence chat bot that can assist you with basic writing tasks. So Erin, the author of the article, decided to conduct an experiment in which she asked ChatGPT to write witty responses to classic dating profile prompts. For example, Erin gave the prompt “write a 500-character dating app bio for a woman who likes music, books and houseplants.” ChatGPT responded: “Music lover, bookworm, and proud plant parent… Seeking someone who shares my passions and is ready to join me on spontaneous adventures, cozy nights in, and trips to the local nursery… Bonus points if you have a green thumb!”

Damona dives into the ethics of using ChatGPT, the question of misrepresentation, and how ChatGPT is going to revolutionize online dating and communication.

(Funnily enough, ChatGPT’s response to Erin’s prompt above is almost the same as one of the prompts in Damona’s Free Profile Starter Kit. 😂)

HANNAH ORENSTEIN (15:30)

Hannah Orenstein is the Deputy Editor of Lifestyle and Wellness at Bustle, where she covers dating, relationships, and sex, among other topics. 

Previously, she was the Senior Dating Editor at Elite Daily, where she still writes her advice column “Dating, Decoded.” She’s also the author of four novels; her most recent book, MEANT TO BE MINE, was praised by Vogue, Cosmo, BuzzFeed, USA Today, and more. 

(18:30) Am I normal?

After having written a dating and relationship advice column for so many years, Hannah says the most common theme within the questions she’s received is: am I normal? Although Hannah describes that one of the most scandalous messages she received was about a reader who had slept with her boyfriend’s best friend, and her struggle with what to do. Another reader had also messaged Hannah asking about how to feel comfortable in her own skin, after having gained weight and having her hair fall out.

Hannah shares a story on how she went about addressing such a layered question, while giving her thoughts on defining “self care.”

 (26:40) Dear Damona/Dear Hannah…

Hannah points out that many of the singles writing in to Dating Decoded are in college or in their early twenties. And when you’re trying to figure out dating for the first time, having an advice columnist to give it to you straight can be a really comforting thing. “I don’t know their lives. But I think sometimes you do need somebody from the outside to say, ‘hey, you seem okay, I think you could be doing better.’”

So if you’re in a relationship, what are the signs that it may be feeling like it’s stagnating? Number one, it’s a pretty clear sign if you write into an advice column for help. Number two? “Anytime you are dwelling on something or ruminating on it, and you just can’t get it off your mind, I think that’s a sign that maybe something is worth examining or worth being curious about there. Because if everything was totally hunky dory, you wouldn’t be obsessing about it all the time.”

Be sure to follow Hannah on Instagram @HannaHorens and check out her monthly advice column, “Dating, Decoded” featured in Elite Daily.

 

DEAR DAMONA (35:35)

Submit your questions on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook and hear our answers live on the show! Here’s what our listener asked about this week:

  • Email from Heidi – Hi, I’m a widow and I’m new to dating sites. I made a friend recently and he is so complementary that it makes me nervous and a little uncomfortable. Is this a red flag?

Millennial Dating & First Date Sex

Our guest co-host this week was Jamie Faye. An internationally certified dating and relationship coach, Jamie currently lives in Tel Aviv with her husband and helps coach individual and couples in their personal, romantic, and professional relationships, with a special emphasis on millennials.

 

D’S DATING DISH (2:04)

What is a mixed-weight relationship and why does it matter?

There’s recently been some discussion revolving around mixed-weight relationships, a relationship where there’s a notable difference in size between partners. Some find it a descriptor that can help you find power in labels, while others find it problematic and unnecessary. You can read more via Refinery29 here.

Device use can seriously impact relationships

A recent Kaspersky Lab study showed that 55% of couples argue about devices and their use. Though there’s a wide variety of specific reasons, the most common issue of contention is couples using a device while face-to-face with their partner. You can read more via Deccan Chronicle here.

Can you have sex on the first date in the age of #MeToo?

The conversation around sex and dating has seen some radical shifts: how about for as something as time-honored as the “three date rule”? Opinions vary, but there could be some benefit to getting hot and heavy early on in the relationship. You can read more via the Sydney Morning Herald.

TECHNICALLY DATING (33:07)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App, including:

  • What to do if you don’t feel like a priority after six months of dating
  • How to handle an ex that’s using Snapchat to keep tabs on you
  • How to know whether you should give up on a guy or not

And many more . . .

DAMONA’S DIATRIBE (47:53)

Damona got something under her skin this week, so it was time for another Diatribe. Up on the chopping block this time around: those who don’t read beyond the headlines.

Long-Term Love & Super Bowl Swiping

Our guest co-hosts this week were Lee and Mimi Hoffman, Damona’s beloved in-laws. They joined us to share their love story and give dating advice to the next generation.

D’S DATING DISH (2:46)

The Stats on Super Bowl Swiping

During the Big Game, dating apps see an increase in use, whether you’re in the town where the Super Bowl’s occurring or just scrolling through your phone while the game is on. In the days leading up to the Super Bowl, some apps report increases as high as 50%, with a 60% increase in message responses. Spruce up your profile, maybe get a sports-themed bio in there, and read more about it via Elite Daily here.

Lady Gaga’s Secret Lover

The recent Grammy’s had us wondering just who, exactly, Lady Gaga is shacked up with. Turns out she got engaged to boyfriend Christian Carino last November. Her manager over at CAA who’s so into her he got a tattoo of her face, we wish her all the best in love. You can read more via Romper here.

Dane Cook’s Dating a 19-Year-Old

We generally think age is just a number, but comedian Dane Cook is dating a 19-year-old despite the fact he’s a whopping 26 years older than her. What do you think, is over a quarter of a century a little too much of an age gap? You can read more via People here.

Match.com’s Singles in America Survey

We got the exclusive scoop on Match.com’s annual Singles in America survey just hours after it dropped. Each year, Match.com publishes an extensive study on dating trends they’ve analyzed, and we highly recommend everyone checks it out. You can find it right here.

TECHNICALLY DATING (34:44)

We pull the best questions posted on The Textpert App and BlackPeopleMeet.com, including:

  • How to be more confident with your body image
  • What to do if the person you’re interested in just wants to be friends
  • How to tell a partner you’re not ready to move across the country with them

And many more . . .

 

Get 1 week free at BlackPeopleMeet.com/datesandmates

Download your free dating or relationship course at damonahoffman.com