T.M.I. & Boundary Building
Have you ever been stuck managing someone else’s emotional chaos when you’re just trying to get your work done?
This week we’re tackling a different kind of relationship, one that sometimes gets overlooked: the one between you and your boss.
We talk a lot about emotional safety and clear communication, especially in romantic relationships. But what happens when someone in a professional setting starts treating you like their therapist or their best friend? And you can’t just hit mute, unsubscribe, block and delete and walk away.
Listener Linda is dealing with exactly this:
“My boss is nice, but she talks to me like I’m her best friend—like way too much info. Relationship issues, family drama, sometimes mid-meeting she’ll start telling a story that’s got nothing to do with work. It’s super uncomfortable, but I also don’t wanna create tension or seem like I’m judging her. How do I keep things professional when the person in charge doesn’t seem to know where the line is?”
If you’ve ever felt caught between empathy and awkwardness at work, you’re not alone. And no, you’re not being cold for wanting boundaries. You’re being honest.
(3:00) When “Nice” Doesn’t Mean “Safe”
Here’s something most people miss: just because someone feels safe around you doesn’t mean they’re creating a safe space for you.
Linda’s boss probably thinks she’s building trust. But what’s really happening? Emotional dumping. She’s offloading her personal problems onto someone who doesn’t have the power to say no or redirect without risking her job. That creates an imbalance of power.
When your boss overshares, you end up managing their discomfort instead of acknowledging your own. You’re trying to make them feel okay while you feel increasingly uncomfortable yourself.
(5:00) The Post-Pandemic Boundary Blur
Remember about five years ago when something completely changed the way we work? Yeah, the pandemic.
When everyone shifted to working from home, the lines between personal and professional actually got clearer. You had to make deliberate choices about whether to use meeting time for personal conversation or stay focused on tasks.
But now that people are back in the office? All bets are off. The lines are blurred again.
When those expectations don’t match, one person thinks they’re bonding while the other is just trying to get through their to-do list.
(8:00) You’re Not Being Selfish, You’re Being Clear
Look at what Linda said: “It’s super uncomfortable, but I also don’t wanna create tension.”
Do you hear what’s happening? She’s prioritizing her boss’s comfort over her own.
This pattern shows up everywhere. In romantic relationships, at work, and with family. We don’t say what we’re really feeling because we’re worried about the repercussions.
But here’s the truth: boundaries don’t make you cold. They make you trustworthy because people know where they stand with you.
(10:00) Three Ways to Redirect Without Drama
What do you actually do when your boss starts oversharing? You have options that don’t require confrontation.
- Subtle Redirection in the Moment: Acknowledge what she said, then redirect: “Wow, that sounds like a lot. So should we circle back to the budget review?”
- Set Timing Boundaries: Create a container: “Hey, I want to give this project my full attention. Can we pick this up after five?” You’re not saying no. You’re just saying not right now.
- Clear But Compassionate Reframe: For persistent oversharing: “I really value working with you, but when we bring personal challenges into the workplace, I’m not able to stay focused and do the best job for you. Maybe we can reframe our conversations to stay focused on the work.”
(16:00) Why This Matters Beyond Your Job
How you handle boundaries at work shows up everywhere else in your life.
If you’re stuffing down your feelings to keep the peace with your boss, you’re probably doing it in your romantic relationships too.
Practice boundary setting here so you can practice it everywhere.
You’re allowed to protect your peace. Even if it’s awkward. Even if the person crossing the line is technically above you.
Professionalism and compassion are not mutually exclusive.
Workplace boundaries aren’t about being difficult.
They’re about protecting your capacity to do good work while maintaining your emotional well-being. Honoring your boundaries is the most compassionate thing you can do for everyone involved.
💌 Ask us anything…don’t be shy!
Whether it’s about dating, relationships, navigating a tricky boss, or what the heck to say when someone crosses a line, we’re here for all of it.
Send your question in a DM or voice memo on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or send a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255. It might just be featured in an upcoming Dear Damona segment.
And remember: Dates & Mates isn’t just about romantic relationships anymore. It’s about the people who matter most: partners, friends, family, coworkers, and you.
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