What does it take to navigate the world of modern romance with poise and grace?

Well, get ready to upgrade your dating game because we’ve got a special treat for you! Sarah Jane Ho, etiquette expert extraordinaire and host of Netflix’s “Mind Your Manners”, is joining us on the Dates & Mates podcast this week.

From first impressions to meeting the parents, Sarah’s here to share her invaluable insights on how we can all be our best selves in any situation.

Of course, we also have a delectable Dating Dish straight from Bumble, and don’t forget about Dear Damona: How long should my first date last if I am traveling a distance to meet my match?

Get ready to ditch the old rulebook and embrace a fresh perspective on modern dating etiquette. It’s time to elevate your love life to new heights with Sarah Jane Ho! So, grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and let’s dive into the world of modern romance.

DATING DISH (2:38)

In case you missed it, Bumble has undergone some major changes lately, shaking up the original dynamics of their app. Women don’t have to make the first move anymore!!

With the introduction of Bumble’s  “opening moves,” women no longer carry the weight, but will this really solve the problem of connection fatigue, or is there more to the story? 

We explore the ins and outs of Bumble’s latest feature upgrades and discuss how they might impact your dating journey. From revamped profile badges to highlighting common interests, there’s a lot to unpack, and we’re here to guide you through it all.

Sara Jane Ho (10:43)

Sarah Jane Ho is an etiquette expert and the founder of China’s first finishing school. Today, she’s the host of Netflix’s Daytime Emmy-nominated series Mind Your Manners. She also joins me as a Drew Crew member on The Drew Barrymore Show. 

Back in February, Sarah Jane became the co-founder and CEO of Antevorta Labs, an intimate care line inspired by traditional Chinese medicine. Her book “Mind Your Manners: How to Be Your Best Self in Any Situation” is on shelves now!

Etiquette is for more than fine dining (11:38)

While many might associate etiquette with formal dining or workplace interactions, Sara Jane reveals how it permeates every aspect of our lives, including the intricate dance of dating and relationships.

From knowing how to behave to understanding the subtle nuances of misbehavior, Sara Jane’s insights make you rethink how you approach love and connection.

This is why she says dating and relationship etiquette deserve its own spotlight and that embracing these principles can transform your romantic life.

How does empathy figure into dating? (13:41)

“Empathy is about sensing somebody’s energy, understanding where they’re coming from, and feeling what they’re feeling.” Sara Jane shared. In Eastern culture, empathy is very energy-based.

When you are on a date, you are reaching out to connect with someone, to understand where they are coming from, and to learn about them. This insight helps to underscore the significance of empathy in dating.

Practice makes perfect (15:33)

Sara Jane uses role-playing and scripts in her etiquette classes to help her students gain confidence. Mastering it in a low-pressure environment will make the action seem natural on a big date.

Tricks of the trade?

• Use effective pauses – using lulls in conversation.
• There is an optimal amount of time to speak – how long should you talk?
• Mirroring – show you are paying attention and are “into” your date

Is it time to meet the family? (27:10)

Navigating the etiquette of introducing your significant other to your home and family can be a delicate dance, but Sara Jane offers invaluable advice to ensure smooth sailing. 

From briefing your partner on household quirks to steering clear of contentious topics during family gatherings, preparation is key to setting everyone up for success. Sara Jane reassures us that it’s not as daunting as it seems.  

Be sure to follow Sara Jane on Instagram @SaraJaneHo and grab a copy of her new book, ““Mind Your Manners: How to Be Your Best Self in Any Situation”. 

39:20 DEAR DAMONA

Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

IG voice memo from Aya: 

My name is Aya, and I live in New York City. I’ve greatly appreciated listening to your podcast for the last year and did a lot of reflection as I read for the fairy tale.

Well, I haven’t met that someone yet. I feel like the quality of men I’ve been dating recently has been much better. Since working on my dating mindset and clarifying what I’m looking for. So thank you. Now, my question. I know that you generally recommend that the first date should be about an hour long. Occasionally, I match up with men in New Jersey and if we were to meet, the travel would be time-consuming, pending a good screening phone call. If a person is traveling more than usual for a first date. How long would you recommend that date to last?