Welcome to the grand finale of Dates & Mates Season 11!

Don’t worry, we aren’t going anywhere!! We have our summer series of bite-sized episodes that are perfect for your travels. Then get ready for Season 12 in mid-August!

This week, we’ve got the incredible Jillian Turecki joining us – she’s a certified relationship coach, host of the Jillian On Love podcast, and she knows her stuff. 

We dive deep into this fantasy of “the one” in this episode.  You know what we’re talking about, right? That perfect person who’s supposed to complete us and solve all our problems? Yeah, that one. 

Damona and Jillian explore why this idea is so captivating and, more importantly, how it might actually mask some deeper needs for personal growth. 

Before we dive in, let’s enjoy an old but treasured segment, the Romance Rollback, where we share ten surprising facts about the evolution of dating. Then, in this week’s Dear Damona segment, we tackle a tricky situation: “My dates keep ditching me for my brother. What can I do?” 

ROMANCE ROLL BACK (3:39)

We came across an article in Mental Floss that shares ten fascinating facts about the evolution of dating and courtship.

For example, the term “date” was first used in 1896, the practice of dating has shifted from family-supervised courtship to public outings, and consumerism has greatly influenced dating norms. 

Understanding this history helps us navigate our dating journeys with grace, empowering us to design our own love stories.

13:54 Jillian Turecki

Jillian Turecki is a teacher, writer, speaker, and certified relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. 

She’s the founder of Jillian Turecki Coaching and hosts the podcast Jillian on Love. She creates some of the best content on Instagram and TikTok for her over 2 million followers.

15:20 The Myth of “The One”

Jillian talks about the myth of “the one,” which suggests there is a match out in the world who will solve all of your problems. She explains that this longing for “the one” is really about seeking completeness and wholeness. 

In this discussion, we are reminded that true fulfillment comes from within. A good relationship can enhance our lives but won’t fix everything. 

23:25 Why Are You Still Single?

Inessa shared her personal Feng Shui love story. She revealed that before meeting her husband, she made intentional changes to her space, like tossing an old mattress and activating the relationship corners of her home. 

“I set my intention, visualized how I’d feel with my person, and made sure my home reflected that,” she said. This mindful approach, combined with a dating hiatus to clear her energy, led her to meet her husband on a dating app, proving the power of Feng Shui in attracting love.

35:48 Jillian is On a Mission

Damona lights up when Jillian shares her mission to help people build fulfilling relationships, starting with self-love. 

Jillian is passionate about empowering young girls to prioritize their own dreams and independence rather than just finding a partner. 

She emphasizes that good relationships are crucial for health, but the key decisions are who we choose to be with and how we show up in those relationships.

40:28 Let’s Make Dating Safer for Women

Jillian reminds singles that they’re talking to a stranger when messaging on a dating app.

Unlike meeting someone through mutual friends, there’s no inherent accountability. Jillian advises, “Stop getting into a texting affair with a stranger.” Your time is valuable, so avoid lengthy texting with someone who might not even show up. 

Men should prioritize making women feel comfortable on dates. Impressing your date isn’t about grand gestures but about ensuring she feels safe and respected.

Follow her on Instagram @JillianTurecki and you can become of member of Jillian’s relationship school by visiting JillianTurecki.com/membership

DEAR DAMONA (51:34)

Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

Text from an Anonymous Listener:

Dear Damona, My brother is impossibly good-looking, as is the celebrity level of good-looking. His friends tell him, strangers tell him. My whole extended family loves telling him. He and I are close in age, and we have the same dating pool. I haven’t worried about it in the past, but I’ve noticed a pattern.

I’ve been thankful and lucky to find some success in dating recently. All my dates have gone fantastically great. Depth of conversation, laughter. Communication, smile, eye contact, casual touch:  It’s been wonderful. But the instant my dates learn about my brother, it’s been game over.

All of a sudden, it stops. I either get ghosted, or if I’m lucky, I get an honest text. And look, I get it. My brother’s a bad boy type. He looks awesome. He’s a talented artist, destined to fame. But what do I do? I love the way I am, the way I look, the things I love. But when somebody sees my brother. So far, my dates have stopped dating me. Am I choosing wrong? Am I attracting the wrong type? Help?