Welcome back to our F the Fairy Tale Summer series, where we’re serving up bite-sized episodes inspired by Damona Hoffman’s new book, “F the Fairy Tale.” 

This week, we shift from busting myths to seeking solutions in dating. We’ve already tackled the four biggest myths that hold singles back: the rules myth, the chemistry myth, and the soulmate myth. If you missed those, be sure to catch up on the last four episodes!

But what good is identifying these myths if we don’t know how to solve them? This week’s mini-episode focuses on the Goals and Values Pillars from Damona’s book. 

We dive deeper into the Goals Pillar and the Values Pillar with three of Damona’s dear longtime friends in the love business: relationship experts Orna and Matthew Walters and Evan MarcKatz. Join us as we revisit one of Damona’s very favorite panels from the F the Fairy Tale Forum last year, and start transforming those myths into actionable steps towards finding true love!

The Goals and Values Pillars (1:17) 

The Goals and Values Pillars offer fresh solutions to two of the biggest dating myths. 

The Goals Pillar helps you dodge the list myth by focusing on shared goals rather than superficial qualities. This way, you make sure you’re on the same page with your partner from the get-go, avoiding that dreaded moment when you realize you’re not heading in the same direction.

On the other hand, the Values Pillar is all about breaking free from the rules myth. Those rigid dating rules might feel safe, but they can keep you from truly growing and connecting. 

By letting go of these rules, you can dive into self-inquiry, understand your values on a deeper level, and write your own love story. These pillars guide you toward more fulfilling and authentic relationships, helping you navigate the dating world with confidence.

(3:18) Orna and Matthew Walters

Orna and Matthew Walters  are amazing love coaches, but they do so much more than that. 

They are featured on Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker and have helped transform thousands of singles around the globe. 

They also have a new book coming out in January 2025 through a division of Penguin Random House. It’s called “Getting It Right This Time: Break Free from Your Hidden Blocks to Lasting Love,” it’s available for pre-order now!

(3:44) Evan Marc Katz

Evan Marc Katz is a name well-known in the dating world, especially if you’ve been navigating it for a while. 

He is renowned as the dating coach for smart, successful women. With not one, not two, but four books to his name. Evan has been featured on hundreds of media outlets since 2003. He hosts The Love U podcast and runs a blog launched in 2006, which boasts over 30 million readers today.

Fun fact: Evan is one of Damona’s very first friends in this business. About 13 or 14 years ago, he took a call from Damona when she was considering leaving her TV producing career to become a full-time love coach. 

(5:55) Release the First Date Pressure!

Evan is all about putting values first. Instead of trying to figure out if someone is your soulmate on the first date (because who can do that?), he suggests a more relaxed approach.

Pay attention to your feelings and let people show you who they are over time. You’ll learn a lot about someone in the first month and save yourself from making big mistakes.

Damona points out that it all starts with knowing your own goals and values. So many people come to her saying they’ll “know it when they see it,” but having that clarity from the get-go is super important. It’s all about setting yourself up for success in finding the right partner!

(10:30) What is Your Love Imprint?

Orna and Matthew start by helping clients understand their love imprint—a concept that explores how early childhood experiences shape our attraction patterns.

It is common to be attracted to people who emulate our families because it feels comfortable, normal or safe, but it can lead to repeating unhealthy relationship patterns. 

Orna and Matthew help clients identify and break these subconscious habits. By first understanding themselves, clients can form healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Listener Questions:

Submit your questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, X, TikTok, or Facebook, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!

21:00 Jeannie asks:

 What’s the best site for women over 65?

22:53 Anonymous Listener:

 For women, I feel like the message is often to lower your standards. Meanwhile, men are not improving themselves like we have. And in my area, it feels like a dating dessert. I have likes on my profile, but not anyone I’ve been curious about lately, and I don’t know if it’s connected to the next question. Does that mean that my standards are too high?