If your social circle is set and your leisure time is limited, as it is for most modern adults, dating apps are the best bang for your buck in love. Online dating presents an amazing opportunity to date in the little free time you have left and to connect with like-minded singles.

But with the introduction of swipe technology and an array of dating apps to choose from, where do you even start with online dating? 

Here’s an outline of the 4 types of apps, the people that like them, and the most common traps of each one:

1. Traditional Apps – Match, Plenty of Fish, or OkCupid. Dating apps like Match, Plenty of Fish, or OkCupid provide a lot of opportunity and give you a chance to try out a bunch of different matches. However, they do require a clear process and strategy to filter out the desired matches out of thousands of possibilities.

• • Type of Dater: You like options. You need a dating app that has tons of possibilities and different ways to search through your options. 
  • The 3 Traps:
    • Spending too many frustrating hours filtering to find the best people – hello maximizers, I see you.
    • The overwhelming feeling that comes with an inbox dominated by DMs from the wrong people.
    • Exhaustion after wasting so much time matching, chatting, and going on dead end dates.

2. Swipe Apps – Bumble and Tinder. These are excellent for busy singles who are newer to dating and want to get started fast with a wide range of options. The downside is it’s hard to find the right committed match since these profiles don’t give you a lot of information about the person on the other side. You can get stuck in the texting trap or in the messaging phase, and you need a clear strategy for navigating from the app into the real world before they ghost.

• • Type of Dater: You are looking for a wide range of options and easy connection.
  • The 3 Traps: 
    • Feeling like you don’t know enough about your matches up front and then you waste time going on too many of the wrong dates.
    • Overwhelm in the match and message process – you may even think “I wish someone could do this part for me.”
    • The disappointment that comes with thinking you know someone, meeting in person and finding you’re not quite compatible.

3. Niche Apps – JDate and Christian Mingle. If you know that there is a particular quality, interest, or cultural element that is of the utmost importance to you, this kind of app provides you with the matches that meet your criteria. Unfortunately, apps like these have smaller dating pools. It can often feel like nothing is happening if you don’t know how to search your options and pick the right matches.

• • Type of Dater: You are focused on finding a partner who shares your values and interests. Apps with too many unqualified options feel like a waste of time to you. If it’s a specific quality you’re looking for in a partner, there’s a high chance you can find an app for it.
  • The 3 Traps:
    • Limiting your dating options a little too much.
    • Constantly wondering if you’re just “too picky” to find love.
    • The feeling that nothing is happening in your love life and the clock is ticking.

4. Curated – eHarmony and Coffee Meets Bagel. These apps are excellent for people who are discerning or choosy, but don’t have time to do the filtering themselves. While tedious filtering is taken off your plate, it can sometimes feel like you don’t have enough options or much control. These apps are slow paced and you need some clear direction if you’re going to get your match off the app and on to the next phase of dating.

• • Type of Dater: You don’t want to waste your time searching and swiping, you like a curated dating app that will deliver the right matches directly to your inbox.
  • The 3 Traps:
    • The feeling that you never meet any great dates – you keep thinking isn’t anyone else out there?
    • Getting stuck in their DMs but never moving into a real relationship.
    • Downloading and deleting app after app, but never finding what you want.

If you’re still a bit unsure about which app is the right app, the most important questions to ask yourself are:

1. Do I like using this app? Are the features easy to use and understand?
2. Am I attracted to the people here? Are there matches I could see myself going out with?

That’s it! It’s useless to be on the app that all your friends say is best if you hate using it or roll your eyes at every person in you match queue. It doesn’t matter if you have great matches if you hate using the app and never check your messages. Find an app that works for YOU and your lifestyle.

Signing up for any dating app can be an overwhelming experience at first. But at the end of the day, dating apps are just another resource to meet your people…or person, more specifically. And if you don’t like the matches you get from one dating app, just start fresh on another!

Moving in with your partner is a significant milestone in any relationship. It’s a step that requires careful consideration and open communication to ensure both individuals are ready for this level of commitment. While the idea of cohabitation may be exciting, it’s crucial to evaluate various aspects of your relationship and future together before taking the leap. 

But not to worry! Here are 5 key questions to ask before moving in with a partner:

1. Why Are We Doing This? Understanding the motivations behind moving in together is essential. It’s vital to have a clear understanding of whether this step is a progression towards marriage or simply a matter of convenience. Openly discuss your intentions and listen to your partner’s perspective to ensure that both of you are on the same page.
2. Who Pays? Money is one of the top 3 things couples fight about, and therefore co-mingling finances before marriage requires careful consideration. Discuss financial responsibilities, such as bill payments and money management, to establish a solid foundation for your shared financial future. By addressing this topic upfront, you can avoid potential disputes and plan for your financial goals together.
3. Your Place or Mine? It’s always best to start off in a new, neutral space where you can establish your areas and routines from scratch. This allows both individuals to create a sense of balance and fairness. However, if starting in a new space is not possible, it becomes crucial to discuss how to create individual space within an existing living arrangement.
4. What Does Our Potential Future Look Like? Moving in together signifies a deeper commitment and often prompts discussions about long-term goals. Take the time to explore your visions for the relationship, such as having children, saving for a house, or pursuing joint business ventures. Aligning your aspirations will help ensure that you are both working towards a shared future.
5. When Should We Check In Again? Regular check-ins are essential for the success of any relationship. Discuss and set expectations for future relationship milestones, such as engagement or marriage, to avoid resentment or miscommunication. By maintaining open communication, you can navigate potential challenges and foster a healthy, thriving partnership.

While moving in with your partner can be an exciting and transformative experience, it’s crucial to be aware of the red flags and potential pitfalls. Here are some signs it may not be time to move in together:

🚩 Urgency: If the other person is pushing you to do it before you feel ready

🚩 Unresolved conflict: This can make a break a relationship. Look for what the Gottman Institute calls the magic ratio of 5 to 1 – 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative.

By reflecting on these factors and being mindful of potential challenges, you can approach moving in with your partner with confidence and clarity.

So you’ve decided to join a dating app – amazing!!! Signing up for a dating app is the first and arguably most challenging step towards taking control of your dating destiny. With a simple swipe or a cleverly crafted message, we have a sea of potential matches at our fingertips. But in the crowded landscape of selfies and dog pics, how can we stand out from the crowd AND attract the kind of quality matches we crave?

While there’s no foolproof formula for love, understanding the art of crafting a compelling opener can significantly enhance your chances of making a genuine connection. From humorous one-liners to thoughtful questions, the perfect opener should intrigue, engage, and leave your match eager to learn more about you.

 So whether you’re a seasoned dater or just dipping your toes into the digital dating pool, we’ve got you covered. Here are the most successful dating app messaging tips according to the latest stats:

• DITCH TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES – Even before Bumble, it was advised that women seeking men should send the first message on dating apps. Straight men outnumber straight women on all of the most popular dating apps. OkCupid reports that women have been increasingly more likely to send likes and first messages and conversations actually last LONGER when women initiate.
• K.I.S.S. (AKA Keep It Simple, Silly) – People write in to Dates & Mates asking for the perfect opener. But according to OkCupid users, the best ice breaker is a simple introduction or asking a question. We recommend the simple comment + question format. You comment on something in their profile that you had a genuine connection to and then follow up with a simple question that inspires response.

Best ice breaker? Here are OkCupid’s results:

Simple introduction (30%)

Asking a question (30%)

Telling a joke (22%)

Mentioning something on my profile (18%)

• THIS OR THAT – Another opener that usually generates a response is a simple “this or that” question. Chocolate Chip or Oreo? Beer or Wine? Dogs or Cats? East Coast or West Coast Rap? Pick something that you have a strong opinion about and whether or not you agree, you’ll almost always start an interesting conversation.
• KEEP IT CONCISE – While it’s important to show genuine interest, avoid sending long and overwhelming messages in your first interaction. Aim for a more focused message that showcases your curiosity, without overwhelming your match.
• PLEASE PROOFREAD – Before hitting send, take a moment to proofread your message. Check for any spelling or grammatical errors. A well-written message demonstrates attention to detail and shows that you’ve put effort into your communication. And as they say, you can’t make a first impression twice.

Note: While these openers have been effective for many, it’s important to remember that every interaction is unique. Authenticity and respect remain key to building a genuine connection. Use these openers as inspiration, but adapt them to suit your personality and the context of the conversation. 💬

Happy swiping!