Have you ever felt your heart race before a first date? Do you shut down during conflict, or find yourself in an anxious spiral waiting for a text back, you’re not alone. 

The truth is, love isn’t just in your head, it’s in your body too. The way we attach, react, and connect is deeply wired into our nervous system, shaped by past experiences and, for many of us, past wounds.

This week we are joined in our journey by master certified Somatic Life coach Beatriz Victoria Albina. She’ll be breaking down the ways that a dysregulated nervous system gets in our way romantically, how to tune in to the cues your body is sending you, and how to heal ourselves for healthier, happier relationships. 

Later we’ll answer this Dear Damona question of the week: How do I begin dating again now that my 15-year marriage has ended?

So take a deep breath, settle in, and get ready. Because today we’re going to give you a lot of advice, a lot of key takeaways, and a whole mind-body-spirit journey on love from the inside out.

(2:06) The Nervous System Whisperer

Meet Beatriz Victoria Albina, a master certified somatic life coach who helps us understand how our bodies affect our love lives!

“My work is all about helping humans who are socialized as women to overcome our codependent, perfectionist and people pleasing habits, which relates to every millisecond of how we relate,” Beatriz explains. “It’s really a relational issue, and the lens I use is both a feminist one and a nervous system lens.”

She’s a family nurse practitioner, somatic experience practitioner, and breathwork meditation guide with a master’s degree in public health from Boston University and hosts the Feminist Wellness podcast.

Your Inner Caveperson is Freaking Out (5:00)

Did you know your dating anxiety is actually a prehistoric survival mechanism?

When your nervous system detects a potential threat – whether it’s a predator in the wild or an unanswered text – it triggers the same biological response. Your body can’t tell the difference between facing a lion and facing rejection on a dating app!

Beatriz breaks down the three surprising nervous system states that control your dating life and explains why understanding them is the key to transforming your relationship patterns.

Swiping Into a Nervous Breakdown (14:04)

“We’re not designed to be swiping hundreds of faces or be scrolling doomscrolling Instagram after we get ghosted for like six hours of doomscrolling with the TV on while drinking wine,” Beatriz warns. These digital dating habits are literally rewiring our nervous systems.

The constant swiping and ghosting creates intense cycles of hope and disappointment – much like an addictive loop. 

We explore the hidden neurological cost of dating app burnout and what you might be missing when your nervous system is constantly frazzled by digital dating.

The 30-Second Date Calm-Down Trick (20:57)

Panicking before a date? There’s a science-backed trick that’s surprisingly simple.

When dating anxiety hits, your brain’s emotion center hijacks your thinking. But what if you could redirect that energy in less than a minute?

Beatriz shares a counterintuitive technique that sounds almost too basic to work – yet the neuroscience behind it is solid. 

This easy practice could be the difference between shutting down on a promising date and staying present enough to make a real connection.

Your Dating Superhero Has Your Back (32:38)

Everyone needs a secret weapon when dating anxiety strikes.

Beyond just positive self-talk, Beatriz introduces a powerful concept that creates an emotional anchor in turbulent dating waters. This technique helps you stay grounded when dating triggers your deepest insecurities.

The approach draws on both ancient wisdom and modern neuroscience, and it might completely change how you handle pre-date jitters, awkward silences, and post-date overthinking.

Connect with Beatriz:

• Website: https://beatrizalbina.com/
• Podcast: Feminist Wellness Podcast 
• Instagram: @beatrizvictoriaalbinanp

(41:48) Dear Damona: Starting Over After Divorce

A listener shares:

“Dear Damona, after my 15-year marriage ended last year, I haven’t been able to start dating yet. I was raised in a conservative religious environment and never dated until meeting my ex and subsequently marrying him in a matter of months, so I actually have no idea how to even start dating.”

Dating after a long marriage isn’t just about meeting new people – it’s about meeting a new version of yourself.

We suggest a fresh approach that takes all the pressure off and reframes the entire dating process.

💌 Do you have questions? Damona has the answers!

Don’t forget you can submit your dating and relationship questions for our Dear Damona segment on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave us a voicemail or text to 424-246-6255, and hear Damona’s answers live in a future episode!